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Tom Delay Is The Dancin’ Fool


Now admit it, you knew that Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would not fail to comment on former Republican House Majority Leader, Tom Delay’s performance on television’s Dancing With The Stars. As we have said so many times in the past, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. Nevertheless, this embarresingly ridiculous excuse for a dance was more than we could ever have prayed for. Tom Delay has somehow managed to make more of a joke of himself with this appearance than he did upon his 2005 indictment for conspiracy to violate campaign finance laws.

As you will recall, a Texas grand jury indicted DeLay on criminal charges that he had conspired to violate campaign finance laws during that period. DeLay denied the charges and pled not guilty, saying they were politically motivated and the law he was indicted under did not apply until later, but Republican Conference rules forced him to resign temporarily from his position as Majority Leader. Thereafter, In January 2006, under pressure from fellow Republicans, DeLay announced that he would not seek to return to the position. In the months before and after this decision, two of his former aides were convicted in the Jack Abramoff scandal. DeLay ran for re-election in 2006, and won the Republican primary election (this is not surprising in that it is difficult to find a non-criminal politician in Texas) in March 2006, but, citing the possibility of losing the general election, he announced in April 2006 that he would withdraw from the race and resign his seat in Congress. His case has not yet been brought to trial.

Delay’s appearance (despite its comedic value), did not help Dancing With The Stars which had its worst ratings since the show’s first episode. Indeed, the Washington Post reports,

DeLay’s relationship with “Dancing” dates back to that edition — he sent an e-mail blast around America back then, urging people to vote for one of (Jerry) Springer’s dance rivals, country crooner Sara Evans, because she and her GOP-fundraiser husband represented “good American values” while liberal talk-show host Springer represented the “smut” that viewers needed to tell Hollywood, in no uncertain terms, “has no place on television.”

Unfortunately however, Delay’s ability to judge “good American values” was called into question when Evans abruptly quit the show after disclosing that she was seeking a divorce as the result of the fact that her husband committed adultery, was verbally and emotionally abusive, drank excessively and frequently watched pornography in their home. Her husband, Craig Schelske, not surprisingly ran for Congress as a Republican from Oregon’s 5th District in 2002.

But we digress, let’s get back to delay and his dancing. Please do yourselves a favor and watch the video clip below before moving on to the very funny song parody. Notice Delay’s outfit, bum wiggle and otherwise truly effeminate and creepy performance.

Another fun fact from the program was when judge, Bruno Tonioli remarked to DeLay, “You’re crazier than Sarah Palin!” It just does not get any better than this for a political satire blog. the gods must be pleased.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

Dancin’ Fool song link:


(sung to the song “Dancin’ Fool”)

Underneath he wears something lacey
I just hope he don’t start to drool
The G.O.P. now thinks that he’s crazy
Tom Delay’s their dancin’ fool

Some might think he’s light in the loafers
But that Tom Delay thinks he’s cool
Gotta love his faux diamond choker
Tom Delay’s  a dancin’ fool

He’ll show us some moves, we’ll be laughin’
The Congress this guy once did rule

(now you’re talkin’)

Can’t tell which way Delay is battin’
Just take a quick glance at
His brown velour pants an’
Presto !
Tom’s a dancin’ fool

(musical break)

He must have lost a dare, man
Dig Tom’s slicked back hair man
He’s no Fred Astaire, man

Tom’s no more a man’s man
What’s inside those pants, man?

Tom’s a dancin’ fool
Tom’s a dancin’ fool, yeah!