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Palin Shunned By Conservative Women’s Group (Again!)

They have done it again. As we have said before, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. I pull my head away from the football games for just one moment and I learn that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute has released its sixth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2011“. Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? There are going to be so many unwanted copies of this thing that they should just hang them up at the U.S Post Office next to the photos of all of those wanted felons.

Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we should simply incorporate them into today’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain-trust elected once again not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and former beauty-queen runner-up is now persona non grata in her own political circles. Heck, even Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) was asked to pose nude for a centerfold. When will Palin’s Facebook/Twitter backlash take place?

Please enjoy.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

CALENDAR GALS

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(May) Monica Crowey is a Fox alum
(June) Ms. Tantaros is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Michelle Duggar must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(musical interlude)

Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(September) Bay Buchanan’s from the 70′s
(October) Amanda Carpenter can’t count to three
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

Palin’s “Mama Grizzlies” On Endangered Species List

As the rock group Queen once said, “another one bites the dust”. As of yesterday, another one of the Sarah Palin endorsed “Mama Grizzlies” was shot dead by the voting public. Former Georgia Secretary of State Karen Handel conceded the Republican gubernatorial primary runoff Wednesday to the Mike Huckabee and Newt Gingrich endorsed Nathan Dean. Prior thereto, both CeCe Heil (House, Tennessee) and Cecile Bledsoe (House, Arkansas) were each  defeated in their elections despite the Sarah Palin mark of approval. And as of today, the following Palin endorsed conservative female candidates are trailing in the polls: Star Parker (House, California) and Ann Marie Buerkle (House, New York). Sarah Palin’s star making power is now officially on life support.

Palin seems to believe that the majority of the American public agrees with her uber-conservative ideology. For instance, just last week during her cojones speech, she misinterpreted the results of the Missouri “Proposition C” referendum vote. In that vote, Missouri Republican Party primary voters passed a purely symbolic referendum allowing state residents to opt out of mandatory health insurance as imposed by the recently enacted Health Care Reform Law. Palin said, “The Show Me State showed Obamacare the door yesterday”, but she failed to mention that virtually only Republicans voted that day or that the Missouri vote was meaningless because federal law trumps state measures on issues of commerce.  She fails to understand that it is only the fringe group Tea-Baggers and far far right of the Republican Party that endorse her views. Moreover, those two groups together only constitute a minority of the voting population.

As her hand chosen candidates continue to lose elections, Sarah Palin might finally get the clue that mainstream American voters do not agree with her on the issues. Let’s hope that this reality eludes her however. After all, we do not want Sarah Palin to realize that she is unelectable and therefore choose not to seek the Presidency in 2012. If that were to happen, who would we laugh at during debates?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Another Day song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw_Jao8hMPA

A SARAH PALIN DAY

(sung to the Paul McCartney song “Another Day”)

Ev’ry day she wakes up yawning and with messy hair
Reads the morning papers just to see if she is mentioned there
It’s just a Palin day
Listen to her squawking, right there on Fox News
Crib notes in the pocket of her raincoat
It’s just a Palin day
At the compound where the Palins live out by the lake
Sarah wonders if the fence she built was just a big mistake
It’s just a Palin day

Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day
Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day

So sad, so sad
Sarah Palin is mad
All she speaks of is heaven and hell
And the “death panel” lies that she always tells
Oy vey, she’s all tanned up
She’s so dumb, by the way, where are her kids today?
So sad
Sarah Palin’s so sad

She’s incensed that her poll numbers are in a nose-dive
She needs Glenn Beck at Fox to keep her election hopes alive
It’s just a Palin day

Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day
Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day

So sad, so sad
Sarah Palin is sad
All alone her life must be like hell
Till those Tea-Bagger freaks come and break the spell
Oy vey, they ham it up
They all come and they stay but they leave the next day
They’re mad
They and Sarah are mad

Ev’ry day she exits like a bat from out her lair
Takes a swipe at liberals with lies manufactured from thin air
A Sarah Palin day
She just keeps on talking, hasn’t got a clue
Wanting everyone to know her name though
A Sarah Palin day

Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day
Du du du du du du, It’s just a Palin day

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 34

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week. Sorry about the late start today folks as well as yesterday’s lack of a post. I’ll try to be more regular (so to speak).

BREAKING NEWS:  Rumor has it that when Sarah Palin took to the witness stand in Tennessee and was asked by the court clerk if “everything you say will be the truth; the whole truth and nothing but the truth; so help you God?”, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska replied, “Ya Betcha!”.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of I Saw It On The Internet, So It Must Be True features Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele. Last week, a group of gay and lesbian members of the military chained themselves to the fence surrounding the White House as a means to protest the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. However, when Steele walked by and noticed the shackled lesbians, he felt obligated to pay a cover charge and tip the girls.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of Legislate To Hate features Republican Arizona Governor Jan Brewer who signed a controversial racial profiling bill into law last week. The law requires that police stop and question drivers about their immigration status if they have a “reasonable belief” that their status is in question. In short, the newly created crime will be known as DWB (i.e. driving while brown).

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of Republicans Who Can’t Walk And Chew Gum At The Same Time features South Carolina Senator, Lindsey Graham. On Saturday he said Saturday he’s abandoning talks on climate change legislation because he believes Democratic efforts to bring up a separate immigration reform package is undermining the legislative process. In a letter that he released to the press, Graham said,

Moving forward on immigration – in this hurried, panicked manner – is nothing more than a cynical political ploy.

In response, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the Democratic Party remains committed to both issues and,

I appreciate the work of Senator Graham on both of these issues and understand the tremendous pressure he is under from members of his own party not to work with us on either measure, but I will not allow him to play one issue off of another, and neither will the American people. They expect us to do both, and they will not accept the notion that trying to act on one is an excuse for not acting on the other.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Another Birther Bites The Dust features Army Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin who last month, released a YouTube video in which he explained that he would not report for a second tour in Afghanistan until President Obama proves he is a citizen. The Army did not take kindly to his stated intentions, so formal court martial charges have been brought against  Lakin, for failing to follow orders, the military said today. Will Lakin be fortunate enough to be Tea-Bagged while in a military brink? Don’t ask, don’t tell.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of Republicans Behaving Badly features both racist Glenn Beck of Fox News and secessionist Governor Rick Perry of Texas. You might recall the time when Beck, while interviewing Perry, admitted that he would like to give him a French kiss. Well, it looks like Beck got his chance yesterday. Fox News host Glenn Beck  appeared with Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who is running on the Republican ticket for re-election at a Tea-Party style town hall meeting. Any Texas Rocketeers know if the kiss took place?

BREAKING NEWS: Remember back last October when we blogged that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute had released its fifth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2010″? Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? Now we wonder, did they actually sell any of those calendars? Has anyone seen one?

Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we would simply incorporate them into tonight’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain trust elected not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM

CALENDAR GALS

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(May) Marji Ross has a gigantic bum
(June) Kelly-Anne Conway is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Carrie Prejean must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(musical interlude)

Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl

Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(September) Bay Buchanan’s age is sixty-three
(October) Phyllis Schlafly’s older than a redwood tree
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

Those Crazy Conservative Calendar Chicks

Last year's conservative chick calendar

Last year's conservative chick calendar

As we have said before, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. I pull my head away from the football games for just one moment and I learn that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute has released its fifth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2010“. Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? There are going to be so many unwanted copies of this thing that they should just hang them up at the U.S Post Office next to the photos of all of those wanted felons.

Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we would simply incorporate them into tonight’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain trust elected not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Please enjoy.

Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

CALENDAR GALS

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(May) Marji Ross has a gigantic bum
(June) Kelly-Anne Conway is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Carrie Prejean must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(musical interlude)

Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(September) Bay Buchanan’s age is sixty-three
(October) Phyllis Schlafly’s older than a redwood tree
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

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