Category Archives: Songs

Palin Is Once Again Being Crushed By The Weight Of The Polls!

Palin on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

The newest Washington Post/ABC News Poll brings more bad news for Sarah Palin. It would appear that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s recent cross-country history-fabricating family vacation/campaign tour/publicity stunt has not helped to elevate her status amongst American voters.

The Washington Post reports that according to the poll, almost two-thirds of all Americans say they “definitely would not” vote for Palin for president. She is predictably unpopular with Democrats and most independents, but the new survey underscores the hurdles she would face if she became a candidate: 42 percent of Republicans say they’ve ruled out supporting her candidacy. More than six in 10 Americans say they do not consider Palin qualified to serve as president.

OK, you Rocketeers, you know what this means…

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Palin’s Midnight Ride Through Historical Inaccuracy And Revisionism

Those are Sarah Palin’s words spoken while in Boston, the Cradle of Liberty last week. Let’s try to decipher that word salad, shall we?

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells”. OK, first of all the purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”.

She also said, “as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells.” Again, Revere never rode through town ringing bells or sending warning shots. His ride was to be conducted surreptitiously because of the fear of spies in colonial ranks.

Palin also said that the purpose of the ride was to warn the British “we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” No, this was not the purpose. After completing his ride, Revere was captured by British soldiers. They held a gun to his head and said that they would blow his brains out if he did not confess the Colonists’ plans. Paul Revere then told them what he had done under threat of death. At no time prior to or during his ride did he intentionally warn the British of anything. As for the bells and musket shots, it was the Colonists who used that form of signal to instruct each other that it was time to amass. That happened however, after the ride was completed and Paul Revere had been apprehended.

These facts come directly from the official history posted at The Paul Revere House and from Paul Revere’s personal diary.

In the next few weeks you will read and hear a lot of Palin apologists attempting to revise what she said to more accurately reflect what really happened in 1775. Do not believe any of it and force them to use Palin’s own words to defend their assertions. Do not be persuaded by any unqualified pseudo-historians that Fox News is certain to trot out. Fox will never reveal that those folks will have had a history of either defending Palin or the conservative right. Remind them that Palin has a long history of getting historical facts completely wrong.

Remember, this is also the fool who said that the founding fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance at their meetings when in fact, the pledge was not even written until more than 100 years later. She also said, that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion by saying, “Susan B. Anthony saw the fight for the rights of the unborn as part of the broader fight for women’s rights.” She also said that the First amendment defends against media attacks!

Bill Maher summed up the Palin situation best when he said, “Sarah Palin should not be on summer vacation. She should be in summer school.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Johnny B. Goode song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUuE_WaTZGY

PALIN, SHE’S GOOD

 (sung to the Chuck Berry song “Johnny B. Goode”)

While visiting ol’ Boston in designer jeans
Sarah Palin told us what the “Midnight Ride” means
While at the Old North Church in Paul Revere’s hood
It all became quite clear just what she understood
She never ever learned to read or write so well,
And boy what a whopper of a tale she did tell

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

She told us Paul Revere warned the Brits of our attack
By firing warning shots to make them go back
Oh, and he was ringing bells while riding through glen and glade
You just wouldn’t believe all the damn racket he made
People he passed by they would stop and say,
“What happened to the lanterns in the church today?”

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

(publicity stunt break)

Revisionism is the Sarah Palin plan
She wants the children’s history books to be banned
Palin cannot tell a verb from a noun
But she knows men used to ride dinosaurs around
She thinks Ben Franklin discovered the kite
Do you think that she could be right?

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Palin, she’s good.

Newsweek’s Todd “First Dude” Palin Fluff Piece

Last week Newsweek magazine released a fluff piece about Sarah Palin’s husband titled “The Model Political Spouse – Todd Palin Can Handle Another Campaign. Friends Hope He Won’t Have To Prove It.” The article was so lacking in substance that it would have been more fitting in People or US Weekly.

The author, Zev Chafets, provided approximately one and a half pages of a description of a lunch and visit with Todd Palin’s father, Jim Palin. The only thing we learned about the senior Palin was that he had never eaten calamri, he is retired, and he does not like to discuss daughter-in-law Sarah Palin’s political career. The only noteworthy tidbit gleamed from the author’s visit with Jim Palin was that the the former ex-quitting half-term governor’s household yard looks the way we would expect it to look. He wrote, “The Palins’ yard is strewn with five snowmobiles, half a dozen dusty trucks, several small aluminum boats, a couple of airplane floats, a trampoline, and a little plastic basketball hoop. ” Did we really expect anything different from the Wasilla Hillbillies?

The article also contained brief portions of the author’s conversation with one of Todd’s friends. Martin Buser the Iditarod racer hopes that, for Todd’s sake, Sarah palin does not seek the Republican nomination for president. Buser said, “He’s secure enough to have a successful woman; he’d be fine with the limelight Sarah would get as president. But would he suffer, shut up indoors at the White House? Absolutely he would.” Sort of like describing how a koala bear loses it s essence for life while being caged-up at the zoo. Buser went on to describe the type of individuals that impress Todd. He said, “We met a lot of important people, but it takes somebody real accomplished to impress a guy like Todd, an athlete at the top of his game who has won so often on his own terms.” Apparently in Buser’s opinion only accomplished athletes impress Todd. Forget about great intellects or those those folks folks who have bettered the world with great humanitarian accomplishments. Jeesh, with friends like Martin Buser, does Todd need any enemies?

Chafets’ article was most disappointing however,  for its failure to critique Todd Palin in any meaningful way. For instance, there was no mention of the fact that for 7 years (1995-2002) Palin was registered as a member of the Alaskan Independence Party which has a goal of having the state of Alaska secede from the United States of America. The article also failed to mention that on October 10, 2008, Todd Palin was cited in special investigator Stephen Branchflower’s report to the Alaskan Legislative Council. One of Branchflower’s four main findings was that Governor Sarah Palin violated Alaska’s Ethics Act when she “wrongfully permitted Todd Palin to use the governor’s office…to continue to contact subordinate state employees in an effort to find some way to get her former brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten fired.” Finally, why no mention of the published reports that Todd was a frequent recipient of massages and possibly more from an Alaskan prostitute?

You would think after reading this fluff piece that Newsweek magazine was actually a Todd “First Dude” Palin fanzine.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

“Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeAbgBPP_N4&feature=related

FIRST DUDE, DON’T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN

 (sung to the Kenny Rogers song “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town”)

You’ve pulled on your mukluks
And combed and gelled your graying hair
First Dude are you contemplating
Leaving Mama Bear
I bought that blow-up doll
For you so you could fool around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Oh was it me
Who drove you to that massage table whore?
While I was making dough
Talking ‘bout patriotic wars
And yes, it’s true that
I’m not the wife I used to be
Oh, First Dude, you still know I’m “mavericky”

It’s hard to love a wife
Who breeds dissent and always lies
But the wants and the needs of a woman my age
Just cannot be denied
And it won’t be long I’ve heard them say until I’m not around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Todd’s leaving now cause
I just heard the slamming of the door
But frankly I don’t give a damn
If he’s on a sex tour
Still I just might move to get my gun
And put him in the ground
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Oh First Dude
For my sake turn around

Scott “Flip-Flop” Brown Doubles Down

Sen. Scott Brown (Teapublican-MA)

What is it with Massachusetts Republicans and their propensity to repeatedly switch positions on issues of political import? Inasmuch as the Bay State is situated on the stormy New England coast there are meteorological winds aplenty, but it is the winds of public opinion which effect members of the GOP.

The best example of a flip-flopping Massachusetts Republican of course, is former Governor Mitt Romney. In October 2002, while campaigning for governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney said he would “preserve and protect” a woman’s right to choose. He now describes himself as an abortion opponent. In a 1994 letter to the Log Cabin Republicans, who advocate gay rights, he said he was in favor of “gays and lesbians being able to serve openly and honestly” in the military. He now says it is a mistake to interfere with the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. While campaigning for the Senate in 1994, he said he favored strong gun laws and did not “line up with the NRA.” He then joined the National Rifle Association in 2006 while pondering a presidential run, and he praised the group for “doing good things” and “supporting the right to bear arms.” In a November 2005 interview with The Boston Globe, he described an immigration overhaul advanced by John McCain as “reasonable.” While running against McCain in 2008 he denounced it as an “amnesty plan.” Of course most notable of all his reversals, Romney pioneered a universal health care overhaul while Governor of Massachusetts which includes a personal mandate for residents to purchase health insurance, yet he now opposes the national health care law which is a virtual mirror image of his own law.

Not to be out flip-flopped by his elder however, there is the clothing-challenged Scott Brown. The junior Republican senator from Massachusetts voted in favor of a carbon cap and trade law while a state legislator but now opposes all manner of cap and trade legislation at the federal level. Also, while a Massachusetts state legislator, Scott Brown voted in favor of the very same personal mandate universal health plan which Governor Romney signed into law. When elected as a US Senator in 2010 however, Brown said, “I’ll be the 41st vote, not the 60th vote” when describing his opposition to the federal health care law which was virtually identical to the Massachusetts law which he supported.

Scott Brown is not finished just yet however. His most recent bout of “I Was For It Before I Was Against It” disease  just won’t seem to fade away. While commenting last week upon Teapublican Rep. Paul Ryan’s draconian budget plan which includes the elimination of the Medicare program for the elderly, Brown said,

“The leaders will bring forward (Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan’s) budget, and I will vote for it, and it will fail.”             

Two days later, after having heard a boatload of negative reaction from his constituents, Brown hedged his bet a little. His spokesman Colin Reed hastily released a clarifying statement which stated,

“Senator Scott Brown will not disclose whether he supports a GOP budget plan that includes sweeping changes to Medicare, despite saying to a business group last week that he will vote for the measure when it comes up in the US Senate….”

OK then, so Scott Brown elected at this point to refuse to state whether he agrees or disagrees with his first promise to vote in favor of the elimination of the Medicare program. He essentially elected to keep his constituents in the dark until he casts his actual vote on the bill.

Next, a few days after that non-clarification, Scott brown appeared as a guest on a local Boston radio program and this is what transpired:

appeared on a local Boston talk radio program Wednesday and here is what transpired:

Radio Host: This specific proposal, the Ryan proposal to privatize Medicare, if it came up, does it have your support or it doesn’t?

Brown: First of all, it’s very difficult to get into hypotheticals because it’s not coming up, but the way that the Medicare and Medicaid proposals and a lot of other proposals in that bill are right now, no, I can’t support it, and I’ve made that very clear.

At this point, Senate Democrats, realizing that the Ryan plan and its Medicare destruction feature is so unpopular with the American public, have elected to hold a vote on the bill so as to force Republican politicians to publicly show their hands and commit on the issue. CNN reports, “This vote will be a lose-lose for Republicans because there will be enough ‘yes’ votes to affirm that ending Medicare is the official party position, but enough ‘no’ votes to that even some Republicans think it is too extreme and are heading for the hills politically,” said a senior Democratic leadership aide.

So, what does Scott Brown say about the upcoming vote? He posted an article on Politico.com yesterday in which he said,

“While I applaud Ryan for getting the conversation started, I cannot support his specific plan — and therefore will vote ‘no’ on his budget.”

Better yet still, Scott Brown has now gone full-fledged liberal Democrat by proclaiming in his article that,
“I fear that as health inflation rises, the cost of private plans will outgrow the government premium support- and the elderly will be forced to pay ever higher deductibles and co-pays. Protecting those who have been counting on the current system their entire adult lives should be the key principle of reform,”
And,
I do not think it (i.e. Medicare reform) requires us to change Medicare as we know it.” Parenthesis added.
Wow! What will the Teabaggers now say about their former nudist BFF, Scott Brown?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Send In The Clowns song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGekq3Jt5Go

THIS IS SCOTT BROWN

 (sung to the Judy Collins song “Send In The Clowns”)

Claims he’s not rich
Poses while bare
Drives an old truck around town
Mitt Romney hair
This is Scott Brown

And with a kiss
Scott does approve
Of tearing Medicare down
He is a boob
This is Scott Brown
Yes. It’s Scott Brown

Made many stops on his book tour
But he refuses to reveal his child molester
Though he may molest again, Scott Brown does not care
Turns a blind eye
Brown does not care

Scott Brown’s a farce
His end is near
He’s not what the Tea Party wants…
Sorry, Scott dear!
He is just a clown
So Mr. Brown
Don’t bother next year

(flip-flopping break)

Isn’t it rich?
Sometime next year
He will be unemployed late in his career
Yes, so long Scott Brown
We’re done with Scott Brown
Let’s stand up and cheer.

Palin To Arizona To US Senate… Hmmm

Julie Driscoll of Examiner.com has written a very interesting piece.

She speculates that Sarah Palin may have recently purchased a new home in Arizona. By the way, what is it with the Palins and Arizona? First, Sarah Palin ran on the same presidential ticket as an Arizona senator. Next, her sniper-sighted advertisement was associated with the shooting of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. Not too long thereafter, we were told that former unwed teen mother Bristol Palin had purchased a home in Arizona where she would live while pursuing her college degree at Arizona State University. That whole story proved to be a false alarm of course, when Bristol announced last month that she was moving to Los Angeles to share an apartment with two men while filming (what else but) a reality television series. Now it’s Sarah Palin to Arizona? What gives?

The house in question is described as an “8,000-square-foot, dark-brown stucco home with a guard gate that can keep unwanted visitors away. It has six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a six-car garage, a swimming pool and spa, and a full basement with a home theater, billiards room and wine cellar. Safari Investments LLC paid $1.695 million cash for the home in a deal that appears designed to cloak the identity of a high-profile buyer.” Driscoll says that the “high profile buyer” is rumored to be none other than the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska.

Reason for the change of locale? Driscoll opines that it is so Sarah Palin can run for the US Senate seat being vacated by fellow liar and Republican John Kyl. Kyl you might remember, is the guy who lied on the Senate floor when he said that that 90% of Planned Parenthood services were abortion-related, when in fact, the actual number is 3%. Palin of course, lies about everything from saying “Thanks, but no thanks” to that bridge to nowhere, to suggesting to Katie Couric that she was involved in trade missions with Russia, to proclaiming that the Democratic Party health care reform law included “death panels”. Hence, an Arizona senate seat is the perfect place for a liar.

So what will it be? A run for the presidency? A run for an Arizona senate seat? Or neither? Please do tell, Sarah. Enquiring minds want to know.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Scott Brown Beats Elders Down!

The emperor wears no clothes!

Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) may have just alienated a large segment of his support base. Last Friday the clothing-challenged Republican announced that he would vote in favor of Teapublican Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) House-passed budget plan which calls for the dissolution of Medicare and replacement with a voucher system. “The leaders will bring forward (Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan’s) budget, and I will vote for it, and it will fail,” he said. The consensus opinion of most analysts is that such a change would hurt the elderly in at least two ways. It would not only force elders to make difficult decisions about choosing from a multitude of confusing private health insurance policies at a time in their lives when (as the result of advancing age) they are less capable of making such decisions, but it would also subject them to being personally responsible for increasing premium and medical costs.

The Boston Globe reports that after “the House passed the budget, Senate majority leader Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, vowed that his chamber will hold a vote on it, forcing Brown and other potentially vulnerable Republicans in the 2012 elections to take a stance on the cuts. A vote is expected before Memorial Day.” It is the Democrats’ intent to force GOP Senators to either vote in favor of curtailing benefits to senior citizens (which may cause a voter backlash from this ever-growing voting bloc) or to vote against the Ryan plan as passed in the House (which will highlight a fracturing of Republican unity on the issue). It is a win/win situation for the Party of Roosevelt.

Of course Massachusetts Democrats are also determined to win back Edward M. Kennedy’s senate seat and Brown’s rejection of senior citizens may be the spark they need to accomplish that goal. Democrats were complacent in the special election of January 2010 and consequently, Scott Brown surprisingly won with the assistance of out of state Tea Party support and money. But a re-dedicated Democratic voting base re-emerged in the November mid-term elections and Democrats were victorious in every state-wide election. Furthermore, inasmuch as Brown has voted against the Tea Party on such issues as the financial regulatory overhaul and the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, his support from the group is in question.

Christen Varley, president of the Greater Boston Tea Party, told the Boston Herald that Brown may not be able to count on the Tea Party support in 2012. “I’m looking at the ‘Scott Brown’ bumper sticker on the back of my car and having serious doubts (about him),” Varley said. “We’ll all have to independently make a decision in 2012 about whether we’ll support him again.”

Scott Brown is now vulnerable to defeat in 2012. His decision not to assist law enforcement by means of identifying his alleged sexual molester and thereby potentially allowing a child molester to remain at large does not sit well with Massachusetts residents regardless of party affiliation. Now his lack of support for senior citizens gives potential Democratic opponents another point of attack. One confirmed challenger, Newton mayor Setti Warren said,

“If he indeed does plan to vote for the Ryan budget, that is an affront to workers, families, and seniors across Massachusetts. There are approximately 1 million Medicare beneficiaries in our state, yet the Ryan budget would gut and privatize that program.’’

The Boston Globe also reports that David Certner, legislative policy director of the AARP, the nation’s largest group representing retired Americans, said that the elderly are protective of Medicare because it plays such a huge role in their lives and well-being.

“They certainly perceive attacks on the program as something that is very much something they’re not interested in,’’ he said.

This Medicare vote could spell the end for Scott Brown’s US Senate tenure. Let’s hope so.

UPDATE

This just in!!! Scott Brown has suddenly pulled a Mitt Romney-sized flip-flop regarding his support for the Republicans’ Medicare Destruction Act. He appeared on a local Boston talk radio program yesterday and here is what transpired:

Radio Host: This specific proposal, the Ryan proposal to privatize Medicare, if it came up, does it have your support or it doesn’t?

Brown: First of all, it’s very difficult to get into hypotheticals because it’s not coming up, but the way that the Medicare and Medicaid proposals and a lot of other proposals in that bill are right now, no, I can’t support it, and I’ve made that very clear.

Wow, talk about reversing yourself. Does Scott brown have any firmly held convictions or beliefs?

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

You two would make quite a pair
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – you’ll get kicked out the door
Scott Brown – Won’t take a minute more
Scott Brown – Private life’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Michele Bachmann To Join The Republican Candidates’ Insane Clown Posse

Has there ever been a better example of addition through subtraction? Think about this for a moment. In just the last few weeks a bunch of potential Republican presidential candidates have chickened-out at the thought of opposing President Barack Obama in the 2012 election. Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Mike Huckabee(Hound) and Donald “Birther” Trump realized that they had no chance of beating the incumbent and so they wisely ran away with their tails between their legs.

In their absence however, arose wacky Michele Bachmann. The Teapublican Rep. from Minnesota brings more crazy to the table than all three of the aforementioned quitters combined. Luckily for those of us in the audience, it appears more likely that she will run for the presidency. CBS News reports that Michele Bachmann’s insiders say they expect her to get into the presidential race in June–and that Mike Huckabee’s decision not to run created a significant opening for her.

“Michele has been receiving an outpouring of encouragement to run for president–increased phone calls and online messaging,” said a senior adviser. “I can now say it is very likely she will decide to run for president.”

If you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.'”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

What in the wide, wide world of nonsense is this crackpot talking about? Michele Bachmann could no doubt give Sarah Palin a run for her money in an insanity contest. Her decision to take-on President Obama when more serious contenders have elected to stand on the sidelines is pure folly. You see, the dropouts are smarter than Bachmann. Bill Press of TheHill.com put it best when he said,

“They know the economy’s coming back, under Obamanomics.

They know millions and millions of Americans, who could never afford it before, now have health insurance, under ObamaCare.

They know Obama created 1.3 million new jobs in 2010 alone — more than George W. Bush created in eight years. And that April 2011 was the third straight month where new job growth exceeded 200,000.

And they know gas prices are coming down.

In other words, they know that, for any Republican, running against Barack Obama is a losing proposition. And they wanted no part of it.”

In other words, those dropouts already know what Michele Bachmann will soon learn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

The Charade Is Over: Trump No More Than A Lump

America has spoken to Donald Trump and they said, “You’re fired!”

The most recent poll from Politico and George Washington University indicates more than two-thirds of Americans think the Republican bankrupt-business mogul and reality television host has “no chance” of ever winning the White House. CNN reports that the poll which was released Monday, shows 71 percent think a Trump candidacy is a non-starter while only 26 percent think there is a chance the reality television star could beat President Obama. The Politico/GWU poll surveyed 1,000 likely voters from May 8-12 and carries a sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.

To add insult to injury, those numbers numbers follow a similarly-poor showing for Trump in a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released last week. That survey showed Trump has an unfavorable rating of 64 percent and would lose to Obama by 22 points in a general election matchup.

Will The Donald look as miserable when he hears this news as he did at the White House Correspondents Dinner while both President Obama and Seth Meyers were lambasting him? Apparently so, because he announced yesterday that he will not run for the presidency. He has chickened-out, but not without some bravado. Indeed, he said, “I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election.”

Donald Trump lives in a fantasy land. Honestly, think about this simple question for a moment; how could Americans ever trust Trump to handle the economy when he is about the only person in the world who could not make a profit by owning casinos. It looks like America has exercised its right to choice and it has elected to abort the birther.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Big Bad John song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKGhwwVgKY

BIG DUMB DON

(sung to the Johnny Cash song “Big Bad John”)

Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Every Tuesday at nine, you will see him arrive
He stands 6 foot 5, weighs 289
A reality show host who’s not very hip
He fires contestants if they should give him any lip, he’s Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

He wears a toupee atop his big dome
Donald Trump acts like a clown, still he seeks the throne
A dim-witted putz, he’s not a bright guy
Claims he robbed Quadafi but that’s a lie – Dumb Don
The nit-wit hails from the borough called Queens
And he has managed to file too many bankruptcies
Filed so many you can’t count them on one hand
Yet Trump still thinks he’ll lead the country to the promised land – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Head made of clay and he loses every dime
He owned a football team that lost all the time
Built a casino, it did not last
Then the taxpayers bailed out his sorry ass – Dumb Don
Through the dust and the smoke as his empire fell
Crawled this maggot of a man that will soon rot in hell
Called a willing banker and he begged for a loan
But when asked for collateral he said “it’s all been blown” – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

And now Donald Trump thinks that the Lord up above
Will stroke his election dreams with a velvet glove
Yet little does he know that he can’t be saved
Donald’s campaign is headed to the grave – Dumb Don
Don Trump won’t earn his seat in DC Town
Let’s all watch his big smile turn to a frown
And as The Donald learns life is unkind
All of us just knew it was the end of the line, for Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Let’s hope that we are done with this worthless twit
Even Tea-Baggers know Trump’s an idiot
If only the future could be planned
We would love to say, “You’re Fired!” to this shell of a man – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Tea Bagging Racist Ron Paul Announces Run For 2012 Presidency

Ron Paul and his sane supporters.

How appropriate that wacky Republican Ron Paul would announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on Friday the 13th. This unlucky day might doom his own campaign while simultaneously bringing bad luck to the other Republican candidates who will lose primary votes to the pied-piper of Tea Party lunatics. Ron Paul is just the type of conservative wild-card that the Democrats were hoping for. He adds to the potential GOP cadre of crackpots like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, yet he also has the ability to garner enough primary votes to vanquish the chances of some of the more viable Republican candidates. Ron Paul might just be Barack Obama’s best secret weapon.

If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s craziness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking);

In an attempt to deflect criticism regarding these quotes Paul said the documents were authored by ghostwriters, and that while he did not author the challenged passages, he bore “some moral responsibility” for their publication. Gee, do ya think?

Has Ron Paul said anything interesting of late you ask? FoxNews.com reports that in a radio interview Tuesday, Paul said that the U.S. government could have worked with Pakistan to secure Usama bin Laden’s capture instead of unilaterally entering the country and killing him — despite concerns that the Pakistanis could have tipped him off.  Paul said,

“It was absolutely not necessary. What if he had been in a hotel in London? So would we have sent the … helicopters into London because they were afraid the information would get out? No, you don’t want to do that.”

So let’s get this straight. Ron Paul believes that the Pakistani government (which has a history of non-cooperation and outright misleading of the US government) would have been just as cooperative as our longtime ally the British government in apprehending Osama bin Laden. Things that make you say, “Hmm?” Indeed, that wacky statement even raised the hackles of some of his cultishly loyal Tea Baggers. Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said on his website,

“If there is any doubt that Ron Paul should not even get near the Oval Office, even on a tour of the White House, he has just revealed it. For a Congressman to say the raid to kill the man who is one of the greatest mass murderers of Americans in history was, ‘not necessary,’ is simply nuts.”

Luckily (for us progressives), inasmuch as most members of the Tea Party read the news about as frequently as Sarah Palin (see Katie Couric interview), they will not know about Paul’s statement or Tea Party Nation’s comment thereon. Consequently, they will still support Paul in large numbers. All in all, Ron Paul’s inclusion in the “Koch Bros. and Flying Republican Nomination Circus” is sure to be entertaining fun for the whole family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Today Is The Second Birthday Of Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off !!!

What began as a fun little pastime has blossomed into two year’s worth of blogging. In December of 2008 yours truly was recovering from knee surgery and as a means to fight the boredom of the passive-motion machine, I  started perusing the comment sections of various blogs that I happened upon. Soon thereafter, I too began leaving comments of a political nature. Then, to have some fun, I began to post a few political song parodies based upon 1960′s and 1970′s television theme songs. Eventually I began to spend most of my time on a blog known as The Mudflats because I enjoyed the numerous posts about Sarah Palin.

By the early Spring  my comments were solely of the musical kind. To be honest however, my frequent postings seemed to annoy a number of The Mudflats‘ readers who desired more prose than poems. At that point the Mudflats‘ administrator suggested that I start a blog of my own (probably to get rid of me). The idea sounded great but impossible for this computer-challenged scribe. I did not even know what the word blog meant (by the way, I still don’t). Thankfully, the friendly neighborhood Mudflats administrator held my hand and walked me through the process of creating what you are reading today. I remain forever thankful.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off debuted on May 13, 2009. Nobody noticed. Little by little however, the readership increased and the growing traffic encouraged me to carry on. The task was made easier by Sarah Palin’s ever escalating shenanigans. Palin and her crazy family were simply spoon-feeding material to comment upon. In fact, she provided so much material that I ran out of television theme songs. Consequently, I was forced to venture into the world of popular music for the song parodies. Although the pop music world seemed to unveil a limitless number of songs it also made the task of parody more difficult. You see, pop songs are a lot longer and have way more lyrics than television theme songs. Fortunately, we were then blessed with the emergence of the moonbat-crazy Tea Baggers, Michele Bachmann and Glenn Beck’s descent into insanity and the non-masturbatory life of Christine O’Donnell. Somehow we persevered and here we are today celebrating our second birthday.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by over the last 24 months. I would especially like to thank those that leave a comment now and again. Those comments provide a sense of worthiness as well as inspiration and new material for later posts. Once again, I thank all of you.

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs