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Tea Bagging Racist Ron Paul Announces Run For 2012 Presidency

Ron Paul and his sane supporters.

How appropriate that wacky Republican Ron Paul would announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on Friday the 13th. This unlucky day might doom his own campaign while simultaneously bringing bad luck to the other Republican candidates who will lose primary votes to the pied-piper of Tea Party lunatics. Ron Paul is just the type of conservative wild-card that the Democrats were hoping for. He adds to the potential GOP cadre of crackpots like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, yet he also has the ability to garner enough primary votes to vanquish the chances of some of the more viable Republican candidates. Ron Paul might just be Barack Obama’s best secret weapon.

If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s craziness, consider these tidbits:

-  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

- He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

- He opposes birthright citizenship;

- He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

- He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

- He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

- “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

- “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

- “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

- “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

- “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking);

In an attempt to deflect criticism regarding these quotes Paul said the documents were authored by ghostwriters, and that while he did not author the challenged passages, he bore “some moral responsibility” for their publication. Gee, do ya think?

Has Ron Paul said anything interesting of late you ask? FoxNews.com reports that in a radio interview Tuesday, Paul said that the U.S. government could have worked with Pakistan to secure Usama bin Laden’s capture instead of unilaterally entering the country and killing him — despite concerns that the Pakistanis could have tipped him off.  Paul said,

“It was absolutely not necessary. What if he had been in a hotel in London? So would we have sent the … helicopters into London because they were afraid the information would get out? No, you don’t want to do that.”

So let’s get this straight. Ron Paul believes that the Pakistani government (which has a history of non-cooperation and outright misleading of the US government) would have been just as cooperative as our longtime ally the British government in apprehending Osama bin Laden. Things that make you say, “Hmm?” Indeed, that wacky statement even raised the hackles of some of his cultishly loyal Tea Baggers. Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said on his website,

“If there is any doubt that Ron Paul should not even get near the Oval Office, even on a tour of the White House, he has just revealed it. For a Congressman to say the raid to kill the man who is one of the greatest mass murderers of Americans in history was, ‘not necessary,’ is simply nuts.”

Luckily (for us progressives), inasmuch as most members of the Tea Party read the news about as frequently as Sarah Palin (see Katie Couric interview), they will not know about Paul’s statement or Tea Party Nation’s comment thereon. Consequently, they will still support Paul in large numbers. All in all, Ron Paul’s inclusion in the “Koch Bros. and Flying Republican Nomination Circus” is sure to be entertaining fun for the whole family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 72

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Democrats Are Smarter Than Republicans And Computers” features Rep. Russ Holt (D-NJ), Rep. Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and the IBM-powered supercomputer known as “Watson“. In a game of Jeopardy, the Democrat bested both the computer and the Republican who came in third. The question remains however, why would the Republicans choose somebody from Louisiana in the first place?

THIS JUST IN: Just wondering, but how long do you think it will take for the newly energized million or so union workers of Wisconsin to begin a recall petition against newly elected Teapublican Governor Scott Walker?

BREAKING NEWS: To give you a hint at the answer to the question asked just above, the most recent New York Times/CBS News poll reveals that Americans oppose weakening the bargaining rights of public employee unions by a margin of nearly two to one: 60 percent to 33 percent.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “We Can Only Hope” features Fox News chairman Roger Ailes who allegedly may face an indictment for instructing an employee to lie to the feds in an attempt to protect his BFF Rudolph Giuliani.

BREAKING NEWS: A little known fact has been flying under the radar since January. Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann‘s Tea Party congressional caucus has been shrinking. The caucus had 52 members in the 111th Congress but only 50 in the 112th Congress. Leave it to wacky Bachmann to drive even the nutty Tea-Baggers away.

THIS JUST IN: We are still waiting for Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) to reveal the identity of his alleged childhood sexual molester to law enforcement agencies. The longer he refuses to identify this deviant, the longer the molester is a potential threat to more children. As the 2012 elections creep closer, Brown must realize that neither Massachusetts Democrats, Independents nor Republicans are likely to support a candidate that enables a child molester to roam freely in the Commonwealth. This story is not going away.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Comment of the week. Fox News Headline: Court Clears Delaware Cinema of Racial Bias In Telling Black patrons to Stay Quiet. Reader Comment: The real problem with this country is blacks. And sooner or later we are going to have to deal with it.Train yourselves and your children!!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Making Friends With The Palins” features former failed GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor and possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate criticized the actress Natalie Portman this week on a conservative radio show for being pregnant and unmarried. Huckabee said, “There aren’t really a lot of single moms out there that are making millions of dollars each year by being in a movie. I think it gives a distorted image that not everybody hires nannies and caretakers and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and would not get healthcare.” I wonder if he is willing to say the same thing about Bristol Palin? Unlike Bristol Palin, Portman attended Harvard University and graduated with a degree in psychology.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s fun statistic. The DailyBeast.com writes that an analysis of 20 years of politicians’ sex scandals reveals that Republicans have more of them – 34 since 1990, compared with 27 for Democrats. More interesting however, is the finding that Republicans have had more scandals that involved prostitutes, politicians claiming to stand for “family values”, and underage boys; while democrats’ scandals are more likely to involve female staffers, sexual harassment and underage girls. Read into that what you will.

THIS JUST IN: In case you were wondering, AAA reports that the average national price for a gallon of regular gasoline yesterday was $3.493 and rising.

In light of the fact that we are suffering from ever-increasing gasoline prices as the result of the turmoil in the middle-east, Lynnrockets has decided to forego the usual song parody today in favor of a particularly spot-on song by The Kinks from their 1979 Low Budget album. The song is titled “A Gallon of Gas” and it describes the state of affairs during the economic downturn of the mid-to-late 1970′s. As you can see, history does in fact have a way of repeating itself. Please enjoy the following video and song lyrics!

A Gallon Of Gas (The Kinks)

I’ve been waiting for years to buy a brand new cadillac
But now that I’ve got one I want to send it right back
I can’t afford the gas for my luxury limousine
But even if I had the dough no one’s got no gasoline

I went to my local dealer to see if he could set me straight
He said there’s a little gas going but you have to wait
But he offered some red hot speed and some really high grade hash
But a gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere for any amount of cash

I can score you some coke and some grade one grass
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
I’ve got some downers some speed all the drugs that you need
But I can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
I love your body-work, but you’re really no use
How can I drive you when I got no juice?
Because it’s stuck in neutral and my engine’s got no speed
And the highways are deserted
and the air smells unnaturally clean.

It’s got power-assisted overdrive and carpets on the floor,
but it’s parked out front just like a dead dinosaur.
And I’ll be paying off the bank for 45 years or more.
It should go 100 miles an hour,
but it’s never moved away from my door.

Who needs a car and a seven-forty-seven
When you can’t buy a gallon of gas
Who needs a highway, an airport or a jet
When you can’t get a gallon of gas
There’s no more left to buy and sell
There’s no more oil left in the well
A gallon of gas can’t be purchased anywhere
For any amount of cash
You can’t buy a gallon of gas

John Boehner Is The Fool On The Hill

This week’s episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own” features the Tea Party Nation and Republican House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). Politico reports that Tea Party Nation wants to see Boehner defeated in the 2012 election.They are upset at what they believe to be the Speaker’s breaking of campaign promises to legislate the “Tea Party Way”.

The Tea-Baggers are primarily angry about the spending proposal recently passed in the House that would fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2011 – which ends September 30. Although it would cut $61 billion from current spending levels, it falls far short of the $100 billion that Boehner and other Republicans promised to cut while campaigning last autumn. Judson Phillips, the founder of Tea Party Nation said, “The Republicans in the House quickly went squishy on that and had to be cajoled into cutting only $61 billion. Now, John Boehner is saying when the Senate comes back and they start negotiating…the $61 billion figure is not safe.” Phillips told CNN, “We’re getting more of the same political games as we have gotten in the past.”

Consequently, Phillips directed an attack directly at Boehner on the group’s website this week. He wrote,

“You look like a fool. Charlie Sheen is now making more sense than John Boehner.”

When asked by CNN if he was delivering an ultimatum, the Tea Party leader responded: “Yes.” He continued, “If Boehner doesn’t get up there, get on the ball, and start getting us some serious budget cuts –- I’m going to do whatever I can to have someone run a primary against Boehner.”

It is becoming more evident every day that there is a troubling split in conservative political circles. Establishment Republicans and Tea-Baggers are beginning to resemble the Hatfields and McCoys. The establishment Republicans are more realistic as to what conservative policies they might be capable of enacting with a Democratic Senate and President, while the wildly radical newly-elected Tea Partiers are facing a reality that they do not like and claim they will not accept. The feuding injures both camps. So long as each faction threatens to run candidates against the other, the GOP constituent base is being split. That bodes well for Democrats in 2012.

Is anything more satisfying than watching conservatives cannibalize each other? By the way, any day that John Boehner and Charlie Sheen are mentioned in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democratic Party!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“The Fool On The Hill” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg1k_G6fRpQ

THE FOOL ON THE HILL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
On Capitol Hill
Boehner is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
He is just a Koch brothers’ tool
And he has not one good answer
John’s the fool on the Hill

John goes out on the town
Drinks his nose a bright red
He’s an orange-skinned clown

“Hell No” he’ll say
Sporting a frown
John’s deaf to the people’s voices
Doesn’t care if they drown

The Tea Party also jeers him
For the promises he does break
Boehner never seems to notice
He’s the fool on the Hill

Clouds are gathering round
John’s lost all his street cred
Bedding lobbyists down

(spray-tan break)

And nobody seems to like him
He has become yesterday’s news
His leadership role is reeling
John’s the fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool on the Hill

His support’s leaving town
And his backers have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Are Palin And Teapublicans No Longer BFF’s ?

It appears as if there is no end in sight to all of the recent Teapublican infighting. First we witnessed the battle over earmarks between establishment GOP members of Congress and their newly elected Tea Party compatriots. Next, there was the battle between the various Tea Party factions over just which organizational branch of the movement (i.e. Tea Party Express, Tea Party Nation, Tea Party Patriots, Freedom Works etc.) is the true leader of the Tea Party. Now we have a Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Republican rift in the making.

This Monday, Tea Party Nation called upon Sarah Palin to replace the demonized Michael Steele as chairperson of the Republican National Committee (RNC). The ex-quitting former half-term governor of Alaska seemed the perfect choice for the job. She is much more popular than Steele. She has demonstrated the ability to raise large amounts of money. Her celebrity status would ensure constant media spotlighting, and most important of all, she is as crazy as a demented old cat lady. It would appear to be a match made made in some radically conservative yet illiterate version of Heaven.

Yet, something funny happened on the way to the RNC chairmanship.  Sarah Palin “refudiated” the Tea Party and insulted the RNC chairperson’s position with one curt statement. She immediately informed the Tea Party organization that she was not interested in becoming what she referred to as the GOP’s fundraiser in chief.

Tea Party Nation however, did not spend a lot of time mourning its loss. By Tuesday, the organization had already chosen a successor to Palin. The organization is now throwing its support behind the little known former Michigan state GOP Chairman, Saul Anuzis. Tea Party Nation spokesperson, Judson Phillips touts Anuzis as a supporter of the Tea Party in Michigan but admits that outside the committee he is virtually unknown.

Please tune in to Fox News tomorrow for another compelling episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own”.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!


In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIqLlBwzrc

THE TEA PARTY HOP

(sung to the Christmas song “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

Walkin’ around with Hannity
At the new Tea Party Hop
Misspelled signs everywhere you see
Every TV’s tuned to Fox

Rockin’ around their lynching tree
As the racist moonbats sing
“Let’s go hang that Obama guy”
“As we do some caroling”

They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
Glenn Beck singing, “Let’s be jolly”
As he drives his koo-koo trolley

Rockin’ out with the Tea Party
And their jailbird Tom Delay
Bachmann’s walking unsteadily
Cuz she’s drunk from spiked Kool-Aid

(tax break)

They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
“Tax cuts for the rich, By-Golly”
No need to be melancholy

Ridin’ around with Sarah P.
On her gas powered snow sleigh
Palin is so damn “mavericky”
In her Sarah Palin way!

Food Fight Breaks Out At Tea Party

Do any of you remember that hilarious scene from the brilliant film Monty Python’s Life of Brian wherein the members of “The Peoples Front of Judea” attempt to distinguish themselves from “The Judean Peoples Front” and “The Popular Front of Judea”? If not, please watch this clip before reading the rest of this post. While doing so, simply substitute “Obama” for the the “Romans” and any branch of the “Tea Party” for the various “Peoples Fronts”:

Hilarious, right? Sound familiar? Well the Tea Party movement of today is just as confused and belligerent as any group portrayed in that film. CNN reports that a faction of Tea-Baggers known as “Tea Party Nation” has sent a letter of complaint signed by approximately 150 other movement leaders to Republican legislators in response to another letter sent to the legislators by a Tea Party faction known as “GOProud”. “Tea Party Nation” is angered that “GOProud” sent its letter (signed by 17 other Tea Party activist leaders) to top Republican legislators which called for congressional Republicans to deal with fiscal issues right away rather than social issues.

The letter of complaint by “Tea Party Nation” states, “Last Monday, a small group of non-Tea Party, non-conservatives, released a letter, trying to claim leadership of the Tea Party Movement and purporting to tell you what the Tea Party movement wants.” The “Tea Party Nation” argues that “GOProud” is not now, nor has it ever been, a part of the Tea Party movement.

Immediately after “Tea Party Nation” sent its letter of complaint, “GOProud” responded by saying,

“A letter signed mostly by members of Tea Party groups rather than leaders of Tea Party groups seems like an awfully cheap way to try to make it look like you have a lot of signatories. I mean if we asked for anyone associated with the Tea Party movement to sign our letter we could have 5 times that in 24 hours.”

After witnessing this type of nonsensical infighting, does anybody out there still believe that the Tea-Baggers are a serious political movement bound by a common ideology and unity of interest? If so, would you please inform the “Tea Party Nation”, “GOProud”, “The Tea Party Express”, “The Tea Party Patriots” and the “Tea Party Caucus”? Because right now their actions are not helping their public perception. They look downright silly.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

IT’S OUR TEA PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

(misspelled sign making break)

Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…

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