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Murdoch Tells Beck To Get The Fox Outta Here

The New York Times reports that moonbat-crazy Glenn Beck may be told to pack up his things and leave Fox News-Ville in December when his contract with the propaganda network expires.

Beck has lost more than a third of his audience since last August and it is easy to see why. He is having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. His television stage-set resembles the hidden away attic classroom of an addle-minded tenured professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in front of which there are no longer any sane students. His conspiracy theories are so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steer well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn beck has become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program. Virtually his only remaining sponsors are gold-hawking economic doomsayers. The resultant startling loss of advertising revenue was not something the Fox network enjoyed. Soon thereafter, Beck began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses are witnessing at the moment. It is obvious that the network wants to rid itself of Beck’s huge salary and distance itself from his meltdown as soon as possible. For Fox News, December 2011 cannot come soon enough.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Always On My Mind” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-Xl17B-Z0A

GLENN BECK’S SIMPLY LOST HIS MIND

(sung to the Willie Nelson song “You Were Always On My Mind”)

Glennie, we didn’t love you
Quite as often as we could have
Still, our goal is to defeat you
Cut your audience in half

Limbaugh makes you feel second best
It is him you are behind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind

And maybe Fox should’ve told you
Your show is a waste of time
All those folks that you sell gold to
Would do best to keep their dimes

Crazy things that you have said and done
Show a brain that’s in decline
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind

Glenn B.
Tell us some more big outrageous lies
Silly
Silly conspiracies made-up in your mind
You should be tranquilized

(crying break)

Crazy things that you have said and done
Show a brain that’s in decline
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 71

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Lynnrockets was glad to hear that somebody else agrees that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R) is like a caricature of some sort of “Sopranos“-like television politician. Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley (D) criticized Christie’s confrontational and headline-grabbing governing style, calling it a “stand-up routine”. He also accused Christie of being “abusive towards public employees.” Furthermore, he called Christie a hypocrite over his tough budget talk for skipping a $3 billion payment into the state’s pension fund and allowing New Jersey property taxes to increase. Be careful Governor O’Malley because Christie may send “Paulie Walnuts” after you!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Own” features Tea-Baggers and conservative Republican Rep. Joe Barton. The Texas Republican is remembered most as being the out-of-order loudmouth who shouted “You lie!” on the House floor as President Obama was explaining that the health care reform law did not cover illegal immigrants. He also dismissed the $20 billion BP victims’ escrow fund as a “shakedown” on the part of the Obama administration. You would think that this whack-job would be a darling of the Tea Party, what with their warped sense of politics. Yet, this week at the Tea Party Patriots sponsored American Policy Summit, Barton was booed by the faithful. Apparently acknowledging public debate over a possible government shutdown, Barton told the audience about the legislative action – called a continuing resolution – recently passed in the House that temporarily funds the government in lieu of an actual budget. The measure would fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2011, which ends September 30, and cuts $61 billion from current spending levels. The Tea-Bagger response? Wild shouts of “Boo, boo!, More, more!”. The uncouth Barton and the misguided Tea-Baggers deserve each other.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not Everybody Learns From History” stars Newt Gingrich. In an editorial published today in the Washington Post, the disgraced former Republican House Speaker and serial wife-cheater writes of a possible government shutdown caused by Republicans, “Those who claim that the shutdown was politically disastrous for Republicans ignore the fact that our House seat losses in 1996 were in the single digits.” Someone should remind Gingrich that during the last government shutdown at the end of 1995 – a three-week event that has since been attributed to rocketing President Bill Clinton back into political favor among the electorate after a bruising midterm election defeat for the Democrats in 1994 – Republicans ultimately compromised with a newly-energized Clinton after the public backlash suggested the GOP was taking a huge political hit. The shutdown also precipitated Gingrich’s ultimate embarrassing resignation from Congress. Here’s hoping history repeats itself once again.

THIS JUST IN: GOP operative Roger Stone, who is currently an informal adviser to Donald Trump said this week that Trump is likely to take a page out of other recent billionaire political aspirant’s playbooks and cut himself a check to the tune of $200 million to finance a run for the presidency. In light of the fact that Trump has filed for bankruptcy protection on at least four occasions, it is surprising that he has $200 million. Just what a country with an ailing economy needs, a President who has gone bankrupt multiple times.

BREAKING NEWS: The New York Times reported last week that after Judith Regan was fired by HarperCollins in 2006, she claimed that a senior executive at its parent company, News Corporation, had encouraged her to lie two years earlier to federal investigators who were vetting Bernard B. Kerik for the job of homeland security secretary. The News Corporation executive, whom she did not name, wanted to protect Rudolph Giuliani and conceal Regan’s affair with Kerik, she said. It has now been revealed that the person urging her to lie was none other than Roger E. Ailes, the powerful chairman of Fox News and a longtime friend of Mr. Giuliani. Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Your Tea Party At Work” features the Montana Tea-Baggers. The AP reports that, “with each new bill they file, newly elected Tea Party lawmakers are offering Montanans a vision of the future. Their state would be a place where officials can ignore U.S. laws, force FBI agents to get a sheriff’s OK before arresting anyone, ban abortions, limit sex education in schools and create armed citizen militias.” How’s that for change you can believe in?

BREAKING NEWS: You may have missed it, but last Wednesday somebody over at Fox News spoke the truth. Host Shepard Smith said that there is no longer a budget crisis in Wisconsin and that the battle in the state is all about politics and union-busting. Specifically he said, “to pretend this is about a fiscal crisis in the state of Wisconsin is malarkey.” What are the chances that Smith is rewarded for his candor by receiving a pink slip this week?

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Wisconsin, Republican Governor Scott Walker attempted to divide the unions by proposing to restrict the collective bargaining rights of some unions but not others. His labor-busting bill will exempt the police and fire unions who endorsed his candidacy. His divide-and-conquer plan has unexpectedly failed. Blogger Ryan Harvey reported, “Hundreds of cops have just marched into the Wisconsin state capitol building to protest the anti-Union bill, to massive applause. They now join up to 600 people who are inside. Police have just announced to the crowds inside the occupied State Capitol of Wisconsin: ‘We have been ordered by the legislature to kick you all out at 4:00 today. But we know what’s right from wrong. We will not be kicking anyone out, in fact, we will be sleeping here with you!”‘. OK Walker, what is Plan B?

BREAKING NEWS: We are still waiting for Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown to either identify the child sex offender that he claims molested him at a summer camp or to admit that he embellished the story to sell books. Despite the fact that law enforcement agencies have requested that Brown identify the sexual deviant, Brown has refused to do so. In the meantime, Brown’s inaction allows a child molester to remain on the loose and free to strike again. This story is not going away.

THIS JUST IN: It would not be a complete weekly news wrap-up without a Sarah Palin story. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver called Sarah Palin a “Froot Loop” for criticising the Obama administration’s healthy eating initiatives, and said getting healthy foods to kids is a civil rights issue. Apparently the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska and failed reality television personality is now being targeted by other reality television stars. You just have to love it!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of “Froot Loops”, did anyone see Joe Scarborough question Glenn Beck‘s sanity this week? His criticism of the Fox News host was simply scathing. Scarborough said, “This guy is losing it before our eyes. He’s bad for the conservative movement. He’s bad for the Republican Party. He’s bad for Fox News…even guys over at Fox News have to start thinking, this can’t last. He’s out of control.” But as we always say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Last Train To Clarksville song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KSHyXGy6XA

LAST TRAIN TO NUTSVILLE

(sung to the Monkees song “Last Train To Clarksville”)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
You can be there by four-thirty
Cuz Fox made your reservation
The Beck Show, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Glenn lost his mind without warning
And it won’t be back again
Glenn Beck’s facing stormy weather
And it’s causing quite a strain
So, he must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no
He might have a lobotomy on his dome.
Take the last train to Nutsville
Glenn Beck is their famous patient
If he’s not crying he’ll blow some kisses
But don’t attempt conversation
Oh… oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Take the last train to Nutsville
That’s where Glenn Beck now calls home
We can’t hear him making noisy
Conversation all alone
He’s feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t think that Glenn’s ever coming home.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Take the last train to Nutsville
(repeat and fade)

Glenn Beck And Child Pornography? Who Knew?

Watching Glenn Beck’s mental stability deteriorate before our very eyes is like viewing the aftermath of a terrible car accident. It is disgusting and revolting yet somehow simultaneously compelling. The gore and stench is vomit-inducing, yet we continue to bear with it so that we can viscerally experience the full ugly scene. Nevertheless, when the carnage and debris is finally carted away, the spectacle is quickly forgotten and we resume our daily lives. Let’s hope that is the way that the Glenn Beck meltdown plays out. It will be best for America if Glenn Beck is remembered as a momentary disaster from which most of us emerged unscathed.

Fox News should someday be embarrassed by the fact that it marketed Glenn Beck as a serious voice in the realm of political discourse. This raving, crying man-baby should never have been offered the opportunity to broadcast his uber-conservative conspiracy theories to the nationwide masses without prefacing each show with one of those “The views and opinions of Glenn Beck should in no way be considered as representative of those of a sane person” disclaimers. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive and continuing advertiser boycott of his program.

During the last week, Beck’s witch-hunt has been directed at billionaire George Soros, the straw-man demon of all conservatives. Soros of course, is the Jewish Holocaust survivor,  businessman and notable philanthropist focused on supporting liberal ideals and causes. He played a significant role in the peaceful transition from communism to capitalism in Hungary and provided Europe’s largest-ever higher education endowment to Central European University in Budapest. In the United States, he is known for donating large sums of money in an effort to defeat President George W. Bush’s bid for re-election in 2004. He was an initial donor to the Center for American Progress, and he continues to support the organization through the Open Society Foundations. He contributes to such fact-checking and political myth debunking entities as MoveOn.org and MediaMatters.org.

By virtue of his philanthropy and liberal agenda, George Soros is considered a dangerous enemy by Fox News as a whole and Glenn Beck in particular. So how does Beck counter Soros? Easy, he does it by lying and twisting the laws of physics in such a way that he labels the Jewish Holocaust survivor as an anti-semitic Holocaust collaborator. Beck went so far as to suggest that Soros helped “send the Jews” to “death camps” during the Holocaust. Beck said that Soros had “to go and confiscate the property of your fellow Jews” during the Holocaust.

Becks blatantly false accusations against Soros led to widespread condemnation from prominent Jewish leaders and Holocaust survivors. Anti-Defamation League national director Abraham H. Foxman called the comments “completely inappropriate, offensive and over the top,” as well as “unacceptable” and “horrific.” Elan Steinberg, vice president of the the American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors and Their Descendants, called the Beck accusations “monstrous.” And Simon Greer, president of the Jewish Funds for Justice, said that Beck had “deliberately and grotesquely mischaracterize[d]” Soros’ experience and engaged in “a form of Holocaust revisionism.”

Truth be told, Soros was thirteen years old in March 1944 when Nazi Germany occupied Hungary. Soros worked for the Jewish Council, which had been established during the Nazi occupation of Hungary to forcibly carry out Nazi and Hungarian government anti-Jewish measures. Soros later described this time to writer Michael Lewis:

The Jewish Council asked the little kids to hand out the deportation notices. I was told to go to the Jewish Council. And there I was given these small slips of paper…It said report to the rabbi seminary at 9 a.m….And I was given this list of names. I took this piece of paper to my father. He instantly recognized it. This was a list of Hungarian Jewish lawyers. He said, “You deliver the slips of paper and tell the people that if they report they will be deported.”

In 1944, at age 14, Soros lived with and posed as the godson of an employee of the Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture. On one occasion, the official was ordered to inventory the remaining contents of the estate of a wealthy Jewish family that had fled the country. Rather than leave the young George alone in the city, the official brought him along. Soros was merely a young boy attempting to stay alive by hiding his identity. He never confiscated any property. He was merely a bystander on that one occasion.

When Glenn Beck finally realized what a firestorm of contempt he had ignited with his false accusations, he immediately went on the defensive. He concocted a brand new fictitious conspiracy in which he claims that he will be falsely accused of something of which he is not guilty (or is he?) as a means of liberal revenge. He said this on his radio program:

“I thought about this morning as I was saying my prayers this morning, and I was reading Psalms, I thought to myself, ‘I’m glad my children will always know the truth.’ And I thought of all the things they could possibly say—the greatest thing I have going for me is I have no lies in my life. I don’t have lies in my life. I— I— I—I—I’m—I pay my income tax. I—I—I pay my bills. I’m honest in all of my business dealings. I try to be a good guy. I’m not always a good guy. I try to be a good guy. I try to be a good parent. I—I don’t drink; I don’t take drugs. I—uhh—you know—I’m not—I’m not into ch—I’m not even into—I was going to say I’m not into child pornography. I’m not only not into child pornography, I’m not into pornography. So, no matter what you read about me—no matter what you read about me, umm, in the coming months, or whenever, that’s fine. I really—I mean—I can’t imagine what they’re gonna—but they have to say something. There has to be something fabricated about me. Has to be! You just can’t let this juggernaut go as we’re changing everything because I’m rolling dude heavy.”

Hey Glenn, just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you! But jeesh, child pornography? What’s up with that? Sounds to us like maybe you are already setting up some sort of alibi. Why is it that with ultra-conservatives it always comes down to some sort of illicit sex scandal? You know, like “Diaper” Dave Vitter and his prostitutes, Larry “Loo” Craig and his foot tapping men’s room escapade, Mark Sanford “and Son” and his South of the Border soirees and Sarah Palin and her sex-targeted children just to name a few? But child pornography, Glenn? How low can you go?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Glenn Beck Is Beyond His Due Date

As we mentioned in our most recent Sunday morning post, Fox News is suffering a pronounced decline in viewership since last Summer. This is really no surprise when one considers that the network is not really a news outlet at all, but rather a thinly veiled propaganda arm of the Republican Party. A person is just as unlikely to get a “fair and balanced” news report from Fox as he would be to get an unbiased report of the benefits of gun control from the National Rifle Association. Perhaps a sizable number of Americans have finally caught on to the fact that they are being spoon-fed a bunch of half-truths, spin, misrepresentations and outright lies by this group of G.O.P./Tea Party lobbyists. Or, maybe the audience has just grown bored with watching the Fox News hosts morph into laughable, cartoonish caricatures of themselves.

The best example of a Fox host’s unpalatable downward spiral is Glenn Beck. Not that Beck should ever have been taken seriously to begin with. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive advertiser boycott of his program.

That boycott now seems to have widened in scope so as to include attendees of his public appearances. For instance, APP.com reports that a crowd of only about 700 people, comprised mostly of Tea Party supporters, gathered at Six Flags Great Adventure in Asbury Park, New Jersey last Saturday to help kick off Beck’s “Restoring America” tour. The arena in which the event took place seats over 8,000. This is a far cry from the over 500 quadzillion people that Beck usually claims are at his events. It just may be that Glenn beck’s fifteen minute of fame are finally over.

Let’s hope so.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. This one was easy. We didn’t have to tinker too much with the original lyrics. Please enjoy.

Undone song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

UNDONE

(sung to The Guess Who song “Undone”)

Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And by the time that Fox shows him the door
It’s much too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s either drinking or he’s getting high
And now his sponsors have gone bye-bye
That is Glenn’s fate

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s all but done
Beck’s come undone
Avoids the truth while he shouts out his lies
Now he has to realize
Redemption’s too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a little mouse that tries to roar
A TV host that most of us abhor
A victim of his fate

It’s too late
Beck’s no Bill Maher
He is no fun
Beck’s come undone

Too many branches, but not enough Christmas lights
Too many falsehoods and not enough truth
Too many people with too many eyes to see
Too many lies to tell, but not in prime-time

It’s too late
He’s over par
(that was a pun)
Beck’s come undone
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe- un doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe)
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe)
(Doe doe-doe-doe doe doe-doe-doe doe doe)

(fake crying break)

It’s too late
Feathered and tarred
He’s dazed and stunned
Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And now he’s much worse than the day before
It is too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a fountain spewing out just lies
And sometimes he just sits there and cries
Glenn Beck’s character traits

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s a no-one
Beck’s come undone
(No no-no-no-no-no-no)
(Doe doe doe-doe)