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At GOP Debates, Lack Of Compassion Is The Fashion

Since Rick “Science Is For Sissies” Perry has joined the field of wacky, unqualified Republican Presidential candidates, the debates have become very entertaining. Not so much as the result of the Texan’s doubletalk and doubling-down on his radical beliefs, but rather because of the bizarre behavior of the members of the audience.

Don’t get me wrong, the seven candidates themselves are spewing plenty of venomous hate-speech and nonsensical rhetoric. These pretenders are  incapable of answering the questions asked by the moderators. They also seem to have a penchant for simply repeating ad nauseam the words “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare.” Nonetheless, it is the audience members who are  demonstrating the most disgusting behavior and revealing the ugly underbelly of the conservative movement.

For example, at last week’s MSNBC/Politico debate, a moderator asked Rick “Ponzi Scheme” Perry the following question: “…your state has executed 234 death row inmates. That’s more than any other Governor in modern times. Have you struggled to sleep at night with the idea that any one of those might have been innocent?” As soon as the moderator finished speaking the words “modern times”, the audience erupted in raucous applause. They were not cheering for Perry’s response inasmuch as he had not yet begun to elicit one. No, in fact, the audience was applauding the very fact that 234 human beings had been executed in Texas. That is correct, this audience, filled with conservative Republicans, was happy and excited that human beings were being put to death at an extremely high rate in the Lone Star State.

We then had a repeat performance of audience lack of compassion at last night’s CNN/Tea Party Express debate in Florida. The moderator posed the following hypothetical question to Ron “The Civil Rights Act Is Unconstitutional” Paul:

Moderator: “A healthy 30 year old young man has a good job, makes a good living but decides, ‘you know what? I’m not going to spend $200 or $300 a month for health insurance because I’m healthy, I don’t need it’. But something terrible happens and all of a sudden he needs it. Who is going to pay if he goes into a coma? Who pays for that?”

Ron Paul: “In a society that you accept welfarism (sic) and socialism, he expects the government to take care of him.”

Moderator: “But what do you want?”

Ron Paul: “What he should do is whatever he wants to do and accept responsibility for himself. My advice for him is to have a major medical policy…”

Moderator: “But he doesn’t have that. He doesn’t have it and he needs intensive care for 6 months. Who pays?”

Ron Paul: “That’s what freedom is all about. Taking your own risk. This whole idea that you have to prepare and take care of everybody.”

Moderator: “But Congressman, are you saying that society should just let him die?”

As soon as Paul said the words “taking your own risk”, the audience began cheering loudly.  The real disgusting development however, was when audience members began shouting “Yeah”, “Yeah” when the moderator asked if society should simply allow the hypothetical man to die.

These audience responses are revealing the honest and true feelings of the typical conservative Tea Party Republican. It is evident that they are not the Christian pro-lifers that they pretend to be. Instead, they are a selfish and heartless group of mean-spirited haters with no compassion for their fellow Americans.

The typical conservative Tea Partier Republican is not a patriotic person.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

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Are You Ready For Some Wacky Tea-Baggers On Display Tonight?

What a dilemma! What to watch on the boob-tube tonight? Do we tune in to watch the first Monday Night Football games of the 2011 season or do we entertain ourselves with the sure to be hilarious CNN/Tea Party Express Republican Debate?

On the one hand we have the All-American New England Patriots with their red, white and blue uniforms and helmets adorned with either Elvis wearing a tri-cornered hat or their throwback “Pat Patriot”. By name, colors and logo alone, the Patriots are certainly America’s most patriotic football team. Indeed, the original “Tea Party” actually took place in their own backyard. Yet, on the other hand, we have a series of debate questions being submitted by intellectually challenged old white men and women who are also sure to be wearing tri-cornered hats along with George Washington and Captain America costumes!

Decisions. Decisions. Both events will take place in Florida. The Patriots game is certain to feature a bunch of players huddling together before the game in prayer as well as blessings to God every time a touchdown is scored. Simultaneously, many of the GOP debaters are also likely to repeatedly praise the Lord while denying the existence of science and evolution.

The football fans at privately owned and corporately sponsored Sun Life Stadium will whine and complain about the high price of tickets, beer and concessions. The Tea-Baggers are certain to complain about the high price of gas and the government-funded program known as Medicaid.

During the football game we are likely to be entertained by clever football fans displaying witty homemade signs about their favorite players. During the debate we are likely to be entertained by not so clever Tea-Baggers displaying hilariously misspelled homemade signs which make no sense.

During the football game we will be thrilled by the amazing athletic abilities of professional athletes. During the debate we will be confused by tongue-tied double-talking Republican presidential candidates who know no words other than “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare”.

It is truly a very difficult decision as to what to watch tonight. Each of you will have to make-up your own mind. As for me, I believe that laughter cures all ills, so I will tune-in to the comedy show known as the CNN/Tea Party Express Debate. Besides, there is a second Monday Night Football game this evening featuring the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders which begins at 10:15 PM EST, long after the debate has concluded.

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Tea Party Express Embarks On 5th Tragical Misery Tour

Beware!!!

A busload of crazy may be coming to a town near you in the next few weeks. That’s right folks, the Tea Party Express has kicked-off a nationwide bus tour ala Sarah Palin’s faux family vacation. Its first stop was Napa, California and it will make 29 more stops before concluding on September 10th in Tampa, Florida just in time for the CNN/Tea Party Express GOP presidential debate.

The Tea Party Express likes to bill itself as a grassroots movement of like minded conservatives. That is a fallacy. The organization is not in any way a grassroots movement, unless you prefer your grass to be rooted in the gleaming offices of a well established political consulting firm which also just happens to siphon off most of the Tea Party group’s donations. You see, the Tea Party Express is a tool created by the GOP political consulting firm known as Russo, Marsh and Rogers. According to Federal Election Commission filings, more than 75% of the money spent by the Tea Party Express, about $1 million out of $1.3 million spent, went to Russo, Marsh or King Media Group, which has close ties to Russo. How’s that for capitalism at work? The misinformed Tea Baggers have apparently been duped once again into supporting something that is contrary to their stated intentions.

At their first stop in Napa on Saturday, the wacky Tea Partiers (many dressed-up like George Washington with tea bags hanging from their tri-corner hats and 1 guy appropriately wearing a dunce cap) were met by several dozen protesters. CNN reports that the protesters were loudly chanting “Hey ho, hey ho, the Tea Party has got to go!” and “Tax the rich!”. One protest sign read, “The Tea Party- Trashing America and the Economy.” There was also a giant inflated rat peering over the fence at the Tea Baggers.

The next stop was Elko, Nevada but it was evident that the tour was already losing steam. The Elko Daily Free Press reported that only about 75 supporters cared enough to show up. That was probably the result of Nevadans hoping to avoid another embarrassing singing performance by former losing Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle. Angle, you may recall, was a darling of Sarah Palin who ran for a Nevada U.S. Senate seat and lost last year. She advocated the complete privatization of Medicare and Social Security and her job creation plan was summed up as follows: “As your U.S. Senator, I’m not in the business of creating jobs”. Like most self-interested Tea-Baggers, Angle also attempted to hawk her book on her victims, oops, I meant audience. Watch video of Angle singing as well as the other disturbing clips which the San Francisco Chronicle has posted:  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=96305

Yikes!

But really, what did we expect from the Tea Baggers? They are the most confused and misinformed group of people since the “birthers”. Oh wait a second, they were the “birthers”. In any event, let’s just take a look at their positions on some of the issues of the day. All through 2010 and prior to the passage of the new health care law, they ran around shouting and carrying misspelled signs with the message “Leave My Medicare Alone” and “Keep Govt. Out Of My Medicare”. Nevermind the fact that the health care law had nothing to do with Medicare or that the program is 100% government run. They then proceeded to support a number of Tea Party candidates in the mid-term elections who, once elected, immediately began trying to pass laws which would eliminate the Medicare program.

The Tea Partiers are also known for protesting higher taxes. The problem is, taxes are at their lowest level in over 60 years. Furthermore, President Obama has not not increased one single tax since being elected. Instead, he has actually cut taxes for 95% of working/ middle class Americans by means of his 2010 payroll tax decrease. They should be on their knees thanking President Obama and opposing the elected Tea Party members who are presently refusing to extend those tax cuts.

Anyway, over the next few weeks we are guaranteed a busload of laughs every time the Tea Party Express bus tour makes a stop.

All Aboard! Next stop, Cheyenne, WY followed by Lincoln and Omaha, NE and then Sioux City and Des Moines, IA.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

IT’S OUR TEA PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

(misspelled sign making break)

Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…

Food Fight Breaks Out At Tea Party

Do any of you remember that hilarious scene from the brilliant film Monty Python’s Life of Brian wherein the members of “The Peoples Front of Judea” attempt to distinguish themselves from “The Judean Peoples Front” and “The Popular Front of Judea”? If not, please watch this clip before reading the rest of this post. While doing so, simply substitute “Obama” for the the “Romans” and any branch of the “Tea Party” for the various “Peoples Fronts”:

Hilarious, right? Sound familiar? Well the Tea Party movement of today is just as confused and belligerent as any group portrayed in that film. CNN reports that a faction of Tea-Baggers known as “Tea Party Nation” has sent a letter of complaint signed by approximately 150 other movement leaders to Republican legislators in response to another letter sent to the legislators by a Tea Party faction known as “GOProud”. “Tea Party Nation” is angered that “GOProud” sent its letter (signed by 17 other Tea Party activist leaders) to top Republican legislators which called for congressional Republicans to deal with fiscal issues right away rather than social issues.

The letter of complaint by “Tea Party Nation” states, “Last Monday, a small group of non-Tea Party, non-conservatives, released a letter, trying to claim leadership of the Tea Party Movement and purporting to tell you what the Tea Party movement wants.” The “Tea Party Nation” argues that “GOProud” is not now, nor has it ever been, a part of the Tea Party movement.

Immediately after “Tea Party Nation” sent its letter of complaint, “GOProud” responded by saying,

“A letter signed mostly by members of Tea Party groups rather than leaders of Tea Party groups seems like an awfully cheap way to try to make it look like you have a lot of signatories. I mean if we asked for anyone associated with the Tea Party movement to sign our letter we could have 5 times that in 24 hours.”

After witnessing this type of nonsensical infighting, does anybody out there still believe that the Tea-Baggers are a serious political movement bound by a common ideology and unity of interest? If so, would you please inform the “Tea Party Nation”, “GOProud”, “The Tea Party Express”, “The Tea Party Patriots” and the “Tea Party Caucus”? Because right now their actions are not helping their public perception. They look downright silly.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

IT’S OUR TEA PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

(misspelled sign making break)

Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 57

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Why does the US Chamber of Commerce hate America? Presently, the Chamber is hosting seminars with Chinese government officials to teach American businesses how to outsource jobs. How patriotic.

THIS JUST IN:  Tea Partiers are very stupid people. Don’t believe it? Watch this:

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “People That Make You Feel Uncomfortable” features Joe Miller. The Alaska G.O.P. Senate candidate and Tea Partier was not missed when he left at least one law firm. After graduating from Yale Law School in 1995, Miller moved to Anchorage to take a job as an associate at the firm then known as Condon Partnow & Sharrock. Attorney David Shoup (Miller’s supervisor) told Salon.com, “We at this firm were not eager to have him stay, and so when he announced he was leaving, we were relieved.” When Miller announces that he is leaving Alaska the residents of that state will also be relieved.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “What’s Up With That” features Sharron Angle. The moonbat-crazy Tea Party candidate for a Nevada Senate seat was speaking before an audience of Hispanic school children last week when she said, “Some of you look a little more Asian to me.” Vote for Harry Reid.

BREAKING NEWS: Politico reports, “The election is two weeks away, but the campaign trail reviews of Sarah Palin already are in, and they aren’t pretty. According to multiple Republican campaign sources, the former Alaska governor wreaks havoc on campaign logistics and planning. She offers little notice about her availability, refuses to do certain events, is obsessive about press coverage and sometimes backs out with as little lead time as she gave in the first place.” Politico mind you, is the voice of the Republican establishment. If that is how mainstream Republicans feel about the Queen of Quit, imagine how the rest of America feels.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “That Was Awkward” features Virginia Thomas. The wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas left a voicemail message on the telephone of Anita Hill, asking her to say she was sorry for the allegations of sexual harassment that surfaced at Thomas’ confirmation hearings for a seat on the high court bench in 1991. Hill’s response? “I certainly thought the call was inappropriate. I have no intention of apologizing because I testified truthfully about my experience and I stand by that testimony.” Just wondering, but was this a case of drunk-dialing? come on now, you know what I mean.

BREAKING NEWS: The Tea Party Express spent $ 103,000.00 this summer to send six staffers on luxury cruises to Alaska during Teapublican Joe Miller’s Senate primary campaign. Mind you, the allegedly grassroots Tea Party movement prides itself on its principles of strict financial accountability.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of the Tea Party Express, the wagon-train full of illiterate, racist anarchists will be pulling into Abilene and Waco, Texas today. The group is trying to get as far away as possible from Joe Miller and Alaska. The group had declared that it would do whatever it takes for Miller, but since the primary election, they have spent less than $ 11,000.00 on his behalf. How’s that for Teapublicans eating their young?

BREAKING NEWS: Is it just Lynnrockets, or is anybody else out there hoping that the Fox Network blackout on Cablevision continues forever? Fox executives have managed to silence themselves in a much better fashion than all of our boycotts. Way to go, guys!

THIS JUST IN:  Harry Reid had this to say about Sharron Angle during an MSNBC interview last Thursday, “She is extreme, she is dangerous, and embarrassing to the state of Nevada.” How do you like them apples, Sharron?

BREAKING NEWS: We haven’t heard much from Michelle Malkin since so many of her Teapublican conservatives have been calling for “anchor babies” to be stripped of their citizenship. The reason for her silence? Well as it turns out, Malkin is one of those “anchor babies”. But just last week Malkin reared her head into US airspace and lied about Pennsylvania’s Democratic candidate for US Senate. She said, “Look, you can’t finesse the truth. Joe Sestak voted for Obamacare. Obamacare in essence and essentially bottom line gives taxpayer dollars to abortions. Joe Sestak voted for taxpayer-funded abortions. Period.”

Truth be told, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, which Sestak supported, does not provide for federal funding for abortions beyond what is allowed under existing law. Under the Hyde amendment, first passed in 1976, taxpayer dollars can only be used for abortion procedures in cases of rape, incest, or when the mother’s life is in danger. consequently, Sestak’s vote in favor of the bill did nothing to advance taxpayer funding of abortions.

 

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Halloween inspired song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Sarah Palin Loves Tea-Bagging

Health care reform protesters arrive at Town Hall Meeting.

The Tea Party Express departs Nevada

Just when you thought it was safe to unlock the door and venture outside, the Tea Party Express has once again embarked on a cross-country tour. The zany-train pulled out of the station in Nevada today, but not before Sarah Palin had her say. The former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska went on the attack against everyone but Tea Partiers.

First, it was the left and the media when she said to the Tea-Baggers,

“You’ve been ridiculed, you’ve been mocked, you’ve been slandered by the left. Still you didn’t let the big government-loving professional politicians and the complicit left-wing, lamestream media tell you to sit down and shut up. Instead no, you didn’t retreat. You reloaded. And you’ve turned this country around.”

Inasmuch as no final elections have taken place yet, it is unclear as to precisely how the Tea Partiers have “turned this country around”. Unless of course, Palin meant that as the result of all those misspelled signs authored by Tea-Baggers, the rest of the country has turned around and once again embraced elementary education.

Next, Palin turned on her own former party, the Republicans. Upset that many members of the G.O.P. will not support the ultra-conservative radically bizarre and certifiably insane Tea Party darlings like Sharron “Obtuse” Angle, “Racist” Rand Paul and Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, Palin warned,

“Some of you need to man up and spend some political capital to support the tea party candidates, instead of doing this, waiting to see how everything’s going to go. Some of these politicians, the big wigs within the machine, they’re driving me crazy because they’re too chicken to come out and support the tea party candidates.”

They are not too chicken, Sarah dear, they are merely a bit more sane. As far out of the mainstream as the Republican Party is, it is light years closer to sane policy than the fringe 14th Amendment hating; Social Security and Medicare hating; fluoridated water hating; non-masturbating Tea Party candidates. There is a reason after all, why the more serious and legitimate G.O.P. candidates do not want to appear with the over-the-top Palin. In fact, even the moonbat-crazy Sharron Angle was not present at Palin’s Tea Party Express kick-off in her own state of Nevada. Now that is an action that surely speaks louder than Palin’s words.

Beware, the Tea Party Express is likely to make a stop near your town very soon. If you would like to fully enjoy the experience, you must go to your nearest bookstore and purchase an English/Tea-Bagger – Tea-Bagger/English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Magical Mystery Tour song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnrsqf33MXA

THE TRAGICAL MISERY TOUR

(sung to The Beatles song “Magical Mystery Tour”)

Roll up, roll up for the tragical misery tour. Step right this way.

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up AND THAT’S AN INVITATION, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour is eating your brain cells away
Eating your brain cells away

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, WE DON’T CARE IF YOU CAN’T READ, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, SO LONG AS YOU CAN SCREAM, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour will even pay you for the day
Even pay you for the day

(The misery trip is waiting)

The tragical Tea Party tour

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour

Roll up, TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, FOR INSANE CONVERSATION, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour wants insurers to keep their payday
Please help them to have their way
The tragical misery tour is hoping that you die away
After you make your co-pay, make your co-pay

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 44

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “The Dixie Dregs” features Zach Wamp (yes, that is a real name), one of the G.O.P. candidates for Governor of Tennessee. Like Texas’ crazy Rick Perry, Wamp would like Tennessee to secede from the United States of America. Wamp says, that mandates forced on the states by the Obama administration’s health care bill have put secession on the table. “I hope that the American people will go to the ballot box in 2010 and 2012 so that states are not forced to consider separation from this government.” Putting aside for the moment, the fact that secession is treason, just imagine the federal government benefit dependent state of Tennessee trying to govern itself autonomously with the likes of “Stonewall” Wamp at the helm.

THIS JUST IN: Disgraced Tea Party Express spokesman and former chairman Mark Williams has resigned his post. The National Tea Party Federation, an organization that seeks to represent the Tea Party political movement around the country, expelled Williams and his Tea Party Express organization because of a racist blog entry authored by Williams last week. This is just another example of truth trumping fiction because the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce (or as Sarah Palin would say, “refudiate”) the racist elements of its movement were fact based whereas FOX News’ allegations of Shirley Sherrod’s racism were fabricated. Consequently, Sherrod now has been cleared for return to her position while Williams is now unemployed.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Birth Of A Fiction” features Kansas Republican congressional candidate Tracey Mann. Twice in the span of 30 days, this crackpot called on President Obama to come forward with proof of his American citizenship. His status as a “Birther” however, has cost Mann’s campaign an important endorsement. As the result of Mann’s discredited view on the President’s citizenship, the Hutchinson News emphatically withdrew its endorsement of him.

The reason [for withdrawing the endorsement] is that it turns out Mann is what is known as a birther,” the newspaper’s editorial board wrote Wednesday night. “He questions the citizenship of President Barack Obama despite evidence that is irrefutable to most objective, rational people – including a birth certificate released by the Hawaii secretary of state and birth announcements printed in Honolulu’s two major newspapers.

So long Tracey Mann, we hardly knew ye.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World of Michele Bachmann” features none other than Michele Bachmann, the moonbat crazy Republican  from Minnesota. When U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann announced Wednesday the names of House members that had joined her House Tea Party Caucus, it left some congressmen scratching their heads. Many hadn’t actually signed up to be members, and the list put out by Bachmann was quickly removed from her website. The Frum Forum, a website by conservative commentator David Frum, contacted ‘members’ of the Tea Party Caucus, and many indicated they were surprised to know they had joined and others were under the impression that the list of members wouldn’t be released. Do I hear a tea kettle whistling or is that just the sound of Bachmann’s poor excuse for a brain boiling over?

BREAKING NEWS: Windycitywatch.com reports, “while the rest of America understands that Shirley Sherrod was the victim of an attempted media lynching THE VIEW’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck, most likely reading from a script provided by Sean Hannity, went on the attack. First she took issue with Sherrod stating her belief that some of the Republican opposition to Obama’s health care plan was racist, then she questioned whether or not she violated the Hatch Act. Sherrod wasn’t having it, at one point looking at her like she was a simple idiot before putting her in her place with a strong response.” The best part of the segment was when the audience loudly applauded each fact which contradicted the conservative Hasselbeck. Let’s go to the video…

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” features conservative pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter. He appeared on Sean Hannity’s program and defended Andrew Breitbart (the conservative blogger that posted the doctored video tape of Shriley Sherrod) by claiming that he was the victim of a scheme in which he was framed! Watch this…

Coulter is a racist apologist. This guy will do anything he can to defend Breitbart. In Coulter’s world, it was not Breitbart’s obligation to fact check his source or the doctored video before publishing it. Rather, he contends, only the source should be criticized. It is clear at this point that every time Coulter opens his mouth, he is being disingenuous.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

I Wanna Be Sedated song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rxJroWIg1Y

ANN WANTS TO BE CASTRATED

(sung to the Ramones song “I Wanna Be Sedated”)

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs, his sex can be debated
Get Coulter to the airport and put him on a plane
Hurry, hurry, hurry the surgery’s in Spain
He only wants ten fingers and a woman’s brain
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs ,his sex can be debated
Just slather his legs with Nair then he’ll be a dame
Hurry, hurry, hurry before he goes insane
He looks a lot like Klinger isn’t that a shame?
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go till his breasts are inflated
Get some new shoes, Ann’s ready to go-o-o, the change has been belated
Put Coulter in that wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry before it starts to grow
He wants some girlie sneakers and new Ann Taylor clothes
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Boobs that are new and sheer nylon hose, Ann wants to be castrated
Just put Ann in a wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry he wants to be a ‘ho
Trinkets on his fingers and trinkets on his toes
Oh no no no no no

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated

Tea Party Brews With Tea(ming) Dissent

Non-Racist Tea-Baggers

Tea Party Nation has circled the wagons and commenced firing. At itself! Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off believes that few things are more satisfying to behold than Tea-Baggers eating their young. Luckily for us, that is precisely what is happening regarding the Tea Party Express and the Tea Party Federation.

On Sunday, Blast-Off reported on Tea Party Express leader Mark Williams and his racist blog posting (it has now been deleted). Williams was so upset at the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce racism amongst its members, that he penned a letter allegedly from NAACP president Benjamin Jealous to the late President Abraham Lincoln and posted it in his blog. “Dear Mr. Lincoln,” the blog post read, “We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!” Williams made several modifications to his blog post after its initial posting, including removing references to bailouts as “big money welfare” that should handed “directly to us coloreds” and Tea Party demands for lower taxes preventing black Americans from getting “a wide-screen TV in every room.”

Not surprisingly, Williams’ racist blog posting infuriated a lot of people, liberal and conservative alike. Not expected however, was the declaration of civil war between factions within the Tea Party movement. The National Tea Party Federation, an organization that seeks to represent the Tea Party political movement around the country, has expelled Williams and his Tea Party Express organization because of the inflammatory blog. Federation spokesperson David Webb said on Sunday afternoon that the blog entry was “clearly offensive” and he added,

We, in the last 24 hours, have expelled Tea Party Express and Mark Williams from the National Tea Party Federation because of the letter that he wrote.

Yesterday, Joe Wierzbicki, coordinator for the Tea Party Express, issued the following statement in response to the Tea Party Federation’s disassociation with the Tea Party Express:

The Tea Party Express with over 400,000 members is by far larger than the Tea Party Federation’s entire membership. Most rank-and-file tea party activists think we’re talking about Star Trek when we try to explain who the “Federation” is. Given the absurdity of the actions by the “Federation,” this is quite fitting, since their conduct is alien to our membership.

Groups trying to say who can or can’t be ‘expelled’ from the tea party movement is arrogant and preposterous. Perhaps this explains why so many tea party groups have left the “Federation” during the past few months. Whatever the reason, most tea party activists are focused on taking back their country and the upcoming 2010 elections and not silly power games being played by individuals such as those in the “Federation.”

To add to the absurdity of the “Federation” they have also informed us that our members can’t participate in something called their “basecamp” communication network, which makes us think that the individuals involved in the “Federation” spend a bit too much time watching science fiction movies and cartoons. We here at the Tea Party Express prefer a focus that is more grounded in the Constitution and electing tea party conservatives to offices of import in these 2010 elections.

Oh, MEOW!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Tea For Two song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0zc7x434Aw

TEA PARTY FOR TWO

(sung to the Doris Day version of the song “Tea For Two”)

So funny
Wanna see insanity?
We have no clue, the Tea Party
Its she ‘gin you and you ‘gin me, Marone!
Please don’t get near us, if you do, you’ll fear us
Our friends and relations
Now want vaccinations
They won’t have it known, dear
That we are one of their own, dear.

Vows we’ll take to get a tax break
Spelling mistakes in signs we make
For you to take for Fox nation to see.
One Tea-Bagger family,
Just one branch is our family tree,
All because we inbreed frequently.

(We are few, we’re not many)
(Tea for two and two for tea)
(Me for you and you for me, alone)
(Everyone jeers us, they simply won’t hear us)
(We are a creation of the Fox News station)
(We’re all Glenn Beck clones, dear)
(Brains on loan from Fred Flintstone, dear)

Will day break and bring us awake?
Will we forsake all our mistakes?
Do we partake in more insanity?
We are one crazed family
And devoted fans of Hannity
Oh, can’t you see we hate democracy
(We hate democracy)