Blog Archives

Palin Says Santorum Is A “Knuckle-Dragging Neanderthal” – Priceless!

Palin vs. Santorum

As we have said so many times in the past, there is nothing more entertaining than watching Republicans eat their young. This week we were treated to a battle-royale between former Republican Senator Rick Santorum and former reality television star Sarah Palin. Both are potential G.O.P. candidates for the 2012 Presidential election.

The first punch was thrown by Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum who is primarily known for once comparing homosexuality with having sex with a dog. While being interviewed on television last week, Santorum was asked why Sarah Palin turned down the keynote speaking role at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) for the 4th consecutive year. CPAC is the premier annual conference of national conservatives which takes place every February. Santorum responded, “I don’t know, I have the feeling she has a lot of demands on her time and a lot of them have a financial benefit.” He was then asked if he would have turned it down and he said, “No, but then I don’t live in Alaska.”

There is no doubt that Santorum implied that Palin believes that making money is more important to her than promoting the conservative cause (there is no speaking fee paid by CPAC). Would Palin take the bait? Let’s put it this way, does the earth revolve around the sun?

You guessed it. Palin appeared on “Hannity” on Fox News (where else?) a few nights later and called Santorum a “knuckle-dragging neanderthal”. A picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape:

For Sarah palin, the punches from Republicans and establishment conservatives just keep on comin’. Karl Rove, Barbara Bush, Lindsey Graham, Bill Kristol, Newt Gingrich and now Rick Santorum have all jabbed Palin. Who will be next.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topicalsong parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the worst of timing

One day funky Santorum put Sarah Palin down
He was chopping her up and he was talking her down
His words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Ricky apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Ricky some lip

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Rick, you better bite your tongue”
He said “I am the big boss, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
He said, “you missed the CPAC trip, so you could fill your money clip”

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

Palin Laments, “Say It Ain’t So, Joe”!

"Damn You, Joe Scarborough!"

Who says that nobody listens to Sarah Palin? For months now the cliché-loving, former ex-quitting, half-term Governor of Alaska has been whining about anonymous sources who have chastised her in the “lamestream media”. She has challenged them to “man-up” and put their names to their denunciations. She has implored her unknown assailants to strip themselves of their veils of secrecy and face her “mano-a-mano”. Well Sarah, as the Good Book says, “ask and you shall receive”. Remember however, to “be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it”. Yesterday, MSNBC‘s Joe Scarborough accepted your challenge and “told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”.

The television talk show host and former conservative Republican congressman from Florida publicly aired his thoughts about Sarah Palin. It was not pretty. In a blistering rebuke of the potential 2012 GOP candidate for President of the United States, Joe Scarborough left nothing on the table. In an interview with Politico.com he said,

“What man or mouse with a fully functioning human brain and a résumé as thin as Palin’s would flirt with a presidential run? It makes the political biography of Barack Obama look more like Winston Churchill’s.”

Scarborough then addressed Palin’s recent characterization of former President George H.W. Bush and former First Lady Barbara Bush as out-of-touch “blue bloods”. He said,

“Perhaps her anger was understandable. After all, these disconnected “blue bloods” had nothing in their backgrounds that could ever make them understand “real America” like a former governor from Alaska who quit in the middle of her first term and then got rich. I suppose Palin’s harsh dismissal of this great man is more understandable after one reads her biography and realizes that, like Bush, she accomplished a great deal in her early 20s. Who wouldn’t agree that finishing third in the Miss Alaska beauty contest is every bit as treacherous as risking your life in military combat?”

Scarborough also described Sarah Palin’s potential quest for the Presidency as a “dopey dream”.

How will Palin react? The Vegas bookmakers have it at even odds that her first retort will be via either Facebook or Twitter. Perhaps she will dust-off her old one-liner from her disastrous 2008 Vice Presidential Debate wherein she so cleverly said to Biden, “Say it ain’t so, Joe”!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Scarborough Fair” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEhAXQ5QQzs

SCARBOROUGH’S FAIR

(sung to the Simon and Garfunkel song “Scarborough Fair”)

Now we’re talkin’, Joe Scarborough’s fair.
He was sage and thoughtful this time.
Of Sarah P., he laid the facts bare.
Electing her should be deemed a crime.

Scarborough dragged Palin right through the dirt.
(She is shallow and shrill bordering on obscene)
Sarah’s rage will explode this time.
(World –view is narrow, ignorance unbound)
She twits and tweets like a dumb jerk.
(Empress sans clothes just sneerin’ and poutin’)
Joe Scarborough nailed her this time.
(Sarah Palin will give him a call)

Joe says that Palin’s a mouse, not a man.
(A thin résumé, a failed beauty queen)
On the stage, she thinks she’s just fine.
(Watch her wave to all of her peers)
Truth be told, her script’s on her hands.
(Palin dreams and prays she’s “The Next One”)
Joe Scarborough thinks she is slime.

Her Twitter tweets are a fickle bellwether.
(Her anger blazing like rabid wild stallions)
Facebook rage will come in due time.
(Sarah will order her soldiers to kill)
But the seething mol can’t keep it together.
(Few will fight for a cause long forgotten)
Joe Scarborough beat her this time.

Now we’re talkin’, Joe Scarborough’s fair.
He was sage and thoughtful this time.
Of Sarah P., he laid the facts bare.
Electing her should be deemed a crime.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 61

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week Rush Limbaugh the drug-addled right wing radio host went on air and criticized Motor Trend magazine for naming the Chevy Volt as the 2011 Car of the Year. He said, “Motor Trend magazine, that’s the end of them. How in the world do they have any credibility?” Motor Trend then defended its reputation by firing back at Limbaugh. The editor posted this on the magazine’s website:

Assuming you’ve been anywhere near the biggest automotive technological breakthrough since … I don’t know, maybe the self-starter, could you even find your way to the front seat? Or are you happy attacking a car that you’ve never even seen in person?

Last time you ranted about the Volt, you got confused about the “range,” and said on the air that the car could be driven no more than 40 miles at a time, period. At least you stayed away from that issue this time, but you continue to attack it as the car only a tree hugging, Obama-supporting Government Motors customer would want. As radio loudmouths like you would note, none of those potential customers were to be found after November 2.

Back to us for a moment, our credibility, Mr. Limbaugh, comes from actually driving and testing the car, and understanding its advanced technology. It comes from driving and testing virtually every new car sold, and from doing this once a year with all the all-new or significantly improved models all at the same time. We test, make judgments and write about things we understand.
….
If you can stop shilling for your favorite political party long enough to go for a drive, you might really enjoy the Chevy Volt. I’m sure GM would be happy to lend you one for the weekend. Just remember: driving and Oxycontin don’t mix.

Don’t you just love the twist of the knife via the Oxycontin reference?

THIS JUST IN: The would-be next President of the United States who thought that Africa was a country has once again revealed her geographic and political ignorance. Sarah Palin appeared on Fox News host and BFF Glenn Beck‘s radio program this week and said, “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –” Poor Sarah, she was born with a rotting mukluk in her mouth!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of Sarah Palin, this week’s episode of “Completely Missing The Point Of An Amazing Speech” features the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. Seattlepi.com reports that in her newly released book, Palin lashes out at “a defining [John F.] Kennedy speech, the 1960 appearance where the Catholic presidential nominee discussed separation of church and state before the Greater Houston Ministerial Association.” Sarah Palin writes that Kennedy’s speech “essentially declared religion to be such a private matter that it was irrelevant to the kind of country we are,” and she said Kennedy “seemed to run away from his religion.” Here is what John Kennedy actually said:

“I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end — where all men and all churches are treated as equal — where every man has the same right to attend or not attend the church of his choice — where there is no Catholic vote, no anti-Catholic vote, no bloc voting of any kind — and where Catholics, Protestants and Jews, at both the lay and pastoral level, will refrain from those attitudes of disdain and division which have so often marred their work in the past, and promote instead the American ideal of brotherhood. I do not speak for my church on public matters — and the church does not speak for me.”

Does Sarah Palin have a problem with reading comprehension? You make the call!

THIS JUST IN: Is it just me or does anybody else agree that we really did not need to know that Barbara Bush‘s housekeeper put her (Bush’s) miscarried fetus in a jar and showed it to George W.?

BREAKING NEWS: Did anybody else find it humorous that the conservative right’s newest protest fizzled so miserably? All those national security hawks that heralded George W. Bush’s civil rights infringing Patriot Act are now up in arms at the body scanners and enhanced pat downs at airports. In an attempt to drum up another manufactured outrage ala Fox News’ annual “War on Christmas” the crazy conservatives and their Fox News cheerleaders concocted “National Opt Out Day.” Outraged airline passengers across the nation vowed to opt out of body scanning last Wednesday in favor of time consuming pat-downs in an effort to slow airline travel to a crawl and embarrass the Obama administration into doing away with both procedures. Unfortunately, the conservatives’ memo was not distributed very well because virtually everyone opted out of National Opt Out Day.

THIS JUST IN: Former Republican Speaker of the House Tom Delay was found guilty last Wednesday of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. He faces up to life in prison. Soon he will be dancing with the boys. ‘Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “I Do Not Have An Answer” features conservative pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter. Coulter of course, is aghast at the body scanners and enhanced pat-downs performed by the TSA at airports. He appeared as a guest on Sean Hannity’s program and debated the subject with conservative Peter Johnson Jr. Coulter promptly got himself in a hissy fit when he was unable to propose a workable alternative to the screenings and pat downs. In fact, he went so far as to ask Hannity to cut Johnson’s mike and then he said he would not appear on-air with him again.


SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Band On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7D65IomNYY

M’ANN ON THE RUN

(sung to the Paul McCartney and Wings song “Band On The Run”)

Just a boy with no balls, thinking that he’s clever,
Never havin’ no fun nights again, quite true,
Coulter you, Coulter you.

(musical interlude)

Spreading his politics of fear,
Hating you if you’re Black or gay,
Not a hint of veracity,
Does not know any other way
A transsexual without peer.
A transsexual without peer.

Well the rain exploded with a mighty crash when the Coulters had a son,
And before you know it he was growing his hair but he put it in a bun
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run
Coulter had a plan not to be a man. A sex change would be so fun

For the M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run,

Next he put mascara on his manly eyes, but he lacked a curvy bum
And as he was singing, he let down his hair. He was having so much fun
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run
Coulter had a plan not to be a man. A sex change would be so fun

Yeah the M’Ann on the run, the M’Ann on the run,
Yeah the M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run

Well, Fox News was calling as the right-wing world produced another clown
And the sound he’s making, unbalanced not fair, rumbles through the underground
M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run

Always touting “Drudge” and loves to judge
Research reveals this bore

He’s a M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run, M’Ann on the run,

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 60

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Senate Democrats are confident they have at least 60 votes for a Defense Department authorization measure that includes a repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) has threatened to filibuster the policy, which bans openly gay people from serving in the military, but his threat is toothless if more than 60 votes are in favor of the repeal. John McCain’s staunch defense of the discriminating policy has assured that he will be remembered throughout history like George Wallace when he was the final defender of racial segregation. A bigoted dinosaur.

THIS JUST IN: After meeting with President Barack Obama Thursday, Democratic leaders in Congress said they plan to hold a series of politically charged votes to extend middle-class tax cuts while letting tax cuts for the wealthy expire. The Democrats are finally showing that they do,in fact, have a backbone. Such a vote will force Republicans to vote against a middle class tax cut which will prove to the nation that they care more for the wealthy than the working class.

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of  Republican lack of concern for the working class took place Thursday when the G.O.P. blocked an effort to maintain federal unemployment insurance (UI) benefits, making a lapse in benefits all but certain when they expire at the end of the month. Consequently, on November 30th 800,000 people unable to  find work in an economy with five job hunters for every one job will lose this critical help that keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table. By the end of the year, 2 million jobless will be without help and another 1 million a month will lose their benefits beginning next year.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Telling The Truth Only When Out Of Office” features recently defeated Rep. Bob Inglis of South Carolina. Inglis is now blasting the GOP for using “racism” to whip voters into a frenzy, for “following those personalities [such as Fox News host Glenn Beck] and not leading,” and for deceiving voters with conspiracy theories about death panels and “preying on their fears.” At a House subcommittee hearing on climate change this Thursday, Inglis mocked his Republican colleagues for refusing to acknowledge the truth and danger of global warming, saying, “They slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night, and they’re experts on climate change. They substitute their judgment for people who have Ph.D.s and work tirelessly [on climate change].” Watch this:

BREAKING NEWS: We posted this clip earlier in the week, but anytime that a Fox News host describes Sarah Palin as “self defecating” is worth repeating. Please enjoy Gretchen Carlson accidentally speaking the truth.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is calling for the waterboarding of a blogger that leaked excerpts of her yet to be released book. Yes, “waterboarding”. Palin authored the following Twitter tweet and then quickly removed it (but not before it was captured here). Imagine how the trigger-happy Palin would overreact with that little red button if she were ever Commander in Chief!

BREAKING NEWS: As long as we are on the subject of Sarah Palin, this week’s episode of “Hypocrite Of The Week” features you know who. This week Palin criticized Republican Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, saying that because Bachus supported “the Bachus bigger government agenda,” it was “no wonder he’s not thrilled with people like me.” She cited Bachus’ votes for the Wall Street bailout and the cash-for-clunkers program as proof he was no “commonsense conservative.” However, in the two years since Palin was the Republican vice presidential candidate, the former Alaska governor has pulled a 180 regarding her position on the Wall Street bailout enacted by President George W. Bush. In the midst of the 2008 financial crisis, Palin held that now infamous interview with CBS News‘ Katie Couric, and she endorsed the bailout. The exchange was odd because Palin provided a confusing reply, inexplicably tying the bank bailout to health care reform, but it was clear she favored the bailout (as did Sen. John McCain). Shall we watch it and laugh?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Bush-Whacked” co-stars former First lady Barbara Bush and Sarah Palin. The former appeared on Larry King’s television program this week and said of the latter, “I sat next to her once. Thought she was beautiful. And she’s very happy in Alaska, and I hope she’ll stay there.”

BREAKING NEWS: Massachusetts’ women voters will be particularly interested in learning that their newly elected Republican Senator and nudist Scott Brown voted this week to block the Paycheck Fairness Act. The law would have amended the portion of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (FLSA) known as the Equal Pay Act so that women would receive equal pay for equal work. It appears that Scott Brown believes sex discrimination is good for business.

Scott Brown in his Senate office.

GO PACKERS!!!

Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNhnThb8gEw

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

Mother’s Day Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 36

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that may be mothers. For the rest of you, please do something nice for your own mothers on her special day. You have no way of knowing how many more of these days you will have the opportunity to share together. Make the most of all of them.

OK, no more proselytizing. Let’s have some fun. Rather than the usual recap of newsworthy events from the last week, today’s post will provide a list of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts for a bunch of well known conservative women. Please feel free to add to the list in the comment section. Let’s roll…

Barbara Bush:  A “do over” regarding son George W.

Ann Coulter: A definitive male or female sexual status.

Carrie Jean Prejean:  A map of the United States.

Condoleezza Rice: A “Where’s Condi?” placemat.

Michelle Malkin:  Non-“Anchor-Baby” status.

Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt:  An official “Birther” T-shirt.

Laura Bush: A Stepford Sister.

Conservative radio pundit Laura Ingraham: A more feminine voice.

Congressional candidate Carly Fiorina: An endorsement from Hewlett Packard directors and shareholders.

Greta Van Susteren:  A contestant’s spot on tv’s Extreme Makeover.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer:  An all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Liz Cheney:  A chance to show her courage via a stint in the U.S. Army.

Michele Bachmann:  An unlimited prescription of Thorazine.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck:  Employment with Fox News.

Bristol Palin:  A time machine.

Sarah Palin: An English/Palin – Palin/ English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women