Sarah Palin Is A Halloween Scream


Sarah Palin after learning that she is less popular than Michele Bachmann

It now appears that there is hope for all attendees of five or six colleges before obtaining any kind of a degree and to those who have lost elections and then quit their jobs. All they need do is simply have their memoirs ghostwritten and then sold to Harper-Collins Publishing. That course of action should land them a $ 1.25 million advance as it did for Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska.

The book is titled, Going Rogue and will be released on November 17, 2009. Problem is, the tome is already being heavily discounted and is sure to be found in the discount bins of most book stores after the holidays. Will the publisher be looking to recapture some of that advance from Palin should book sales flop? Alternatively, will Palin write a quick supplemental chapter to counter the most recent accusations of her former future son-in-law, Levi Johnston on this morning’s edition of CBS Early Show? Such as:

There are some things that I have that are huge. And I haven’t said them because I’m not gonna hurt her that way … I have things that can, you know — that would get her in trouble, and could hurt her. Will hurt her. But I’m not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there’s — I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going that far.

Johnston also expanded upon his earlier contention in a Vanity Fair interview that Palin would refer to her Down syndrome child as “retarded.”

I was just in shock for the first time I heard it, and then she’d say it regularly. And I think she was joking, but it doesn’t make it right.

That does not reflect kindly upon Palin who very frequently in public appearances would use her son Trig as an example for kinder and more understanding treatment of children with special needs. It also calls into question her perhaps feigned, if not misguided, outraged reaction to a Photo-shopped illustration of her cradling a baby with the face of a conservative Alaskan radio personality on the basis that it was insulting to special needs children. Also regarding son Trig, Johnston said that Palin’s daughter Bristol performed most of the mothering.

Johnston did not however, unleash any bombshells about Palin, although he did let it be known that he still has plenty of ammunition.

Those are just little … things I put in Vanity Fair. You know, all the big things I got, I’m keeping — you know, i’m keeping them in, and — you know, it’s just something that probably will never come out.

Will it never come out? Perhaps Johnston is just holding back the big stuff for either future leverage against his once and future mother-in-law or as an enticement for some hush-up money. The plot thickens. The second segment of the Early Show interview will air tomorrow.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

Rich Girl song link:


(sung to the Hall & Oates song “Rich Girl”)

You’re a witch girl, up in A-las-ka
And it’s getting worse for you every day
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You’re a stitch girl? Cuz you’re quite bizzare
So we really wish you would go away
Pray, Honey that we don’t send you too far
Send you too far

And don’t you know, don’t you know
That it’s wrong to preach politics of hate
You’re so far gone, so far gone
Lil’ Miss Caribou you belong in a zoo
Todd should be in there too


You’re a witch girl and you’re no big star
And mascara won’t help you hide your age
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
There’s a hitch girl, you’re a has-been now
And the voters have all left and turned the page
The pitbull is a pig with lipstick now
Now say “Bow Wow”

Not too bright, a bit insane
It’s so sleazy, to damn others just because they complain
Those little fools and their ethics rules
They just get in your way and impede your payday
They will rue the day, oh…

You’re a witch girl, and you’ve gone too far
But that defense fund should help to pay your way
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You’ll be a rich girl with a brand new car
And then you’ll move your family far away
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Get you too far

And you say

You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You’re a rich girl, a witch girl
Oh, you’re a rich bitch girl yeah
Say money but it won’t get you too far
Oh, get ya too far

Posted on October 28, 2009, in Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Halloween skeletons (in the closet)

    Given that Palin is burdened by the curse of Bill Kristol’s bad karma, it might not be wise to assume the “something” will probably never come out (enquiring minds want to know).

    Kristol’s boss (the trash mongering Rupert Murdoch), might have been onto something when he hedged his bets by rushing her book out!

  2. Was trying to remember what that pic reminded me of, and it finally came to me–The Haunted House Ride at Disneyland, one of my favorite rides. Disneyland also had Mr.Toad’s Wild Ride, which goes with her ridiculous story about travelling with her husband Todd, of Toad’s Fisheries, from Dallas where she was giving a speech back to Wasilla to “give birth” to the kid she calls “the retarded one”.

    Nice work on this post, lynnrockets.

  3. Great choice of video! Also, I have loved “Further On Up the Road” ever since I first heard it on the soundtrack of “The City of Angels.” It was a treat to view this video today. Thanks.

  4. That is one scary illustration; I reacted thusly: AH!!
    Sarah and Levi, oh the dirt, it is a flyin’ is it not?

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