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Ann Coulter: The Sweet Transvestite?

transsexual

We haven’t visited with the Wicked Witch of the East in some time. However, inasmuch as this is Halloween week, there could not be a more appropriate time to reaquaint ourselves with Ann Coulter. He is of course, the uber-reich-wing columnist/author that nobody but viewers of Fox News would know or care about. Well, the Coulter-Thing reared its ugly head yet again last week.

Coulter was a guest last week on The Joy Behar Show. When presented with the fact that President Obama has faced more death threats than any president in history under the protection of the Secret Service, Coulter irrationally responded that if something were to happen, it would most likely be at the hands of a liberal. She said:

Every presidential assassination or attempted presidential assassination has been committed by some left wing loon, communist, anarchist, commutarians–yes they were!–or they had no politics at all. They were all liberals!

Although it is true that many of these assassins were political left wingers, Coulter conveniently made no reference to the most famous presidential assassin of all, John Wilkes Booth. Abraham Lincoln was considered to be quite liberal. He was in favor of a multi-ethnic immigrant society to be employed by industry and he was certainly a proponent of a strong activist central government. Booth on the other hand, was an aristocratic proponent of slavery and the  Southern agrarian lifestyle. Hardly a liberal was Booth.

Coulter’s retort however, clouds the more important aspect of Behar’s statement. That is, that the sitting president has faced an enormous amount of death threats. In light of last year’s release of an FBI memo which called for heightened scrutiny of right wing groups that may take to violent action, it is unlikely that a left leaning group or person would attempt to harm this particular left leaning president. Does Coulter believe that President Obama is more likely to face danger from say Acorn or MoveOn.org than from one of those gun-toting Tea-Baggers, the KKK or some gun rights protecting militia? If so, then this guy’s grasp of the political landscape is as mixed-up as his gender.

Speaking of gender, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the Mann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Sweet Transvestite song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enr4W6FsSpk

SWEET TRANSVESTITE

(sung to the Tim Curry song from The Rocky Horror Picture ShowSweet Transvestite”)

How do you do?
I see you’ve met the trusty camera man
He has just a little frown because,
This is Fox
He thought you were that Hannity man
Don’t get strung out by the way I look
I’m just that schnook Ms. Ann Coulter
I’m somewhat of a man by the light of day
But by night O’Reilly runs for cover
I’m just a sweet transvestite
And I am not from Pennsylvania

Coulter shows you around and makes a manly sound
This he/she thinks he’s pretty groovy
But if he wants something visual
To make him feel dismal
He makes himself watch Michael Moore movies

Coulter might throw you a bone
If he likes your cologne
And you look a bit like O’Reilly

Right!

The more right-wing you are
Ann will pinch your cigar
And tell you his whole life story

Cuz Coulter loves to chit-chat
It’s tit for tat
That guy is really manic
He’s a fright of a sight
Something did not go right
His surgery performed by mechanics
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite
But he is not from Pennsylvania
He’ll wish the lights were not bright

Right!

His skirt is too tight!

Tight!

Ann Coulter has one secret confession
He is really a man
With blonde hair and a tan
But that life caused so much needless tension
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite
But he is not from Pennsylvania
Hit it! Hit it!
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite

Sweet Transvestite!

Or Transexual!

He/she mania!

Had some work in the lab
You can still see the scab
Ann Coulter sure is an abomi…nation
It’s surely his brain
That is really to blame
So let’s remove the cause
But not the symptom.

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