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Joe McGinniss Is Done Pallin’ Around With Palin

All good things must come to an end and so it is for author Joe McGinniss’ Summer in Alaska. The writer who is also known as “the man behind the fence” has finished his Wasilla-based research of the Palin clan and returned to Massachusetts where he will commence putting his thoughts on paper. Will his new book describe the whereabouts of Sarah’s truckload of RNC purchased clothes? Will it contain any juicy quotes from “Troopergate” star and estranged former brother-in-law, Mike Wooten? Will the book predict the future of the “spite fence”? Will there be a chapter on the amazing things one can see “while overlooking Piper’s bedroom”? Who knows. We will just have to wait for the book’s release.

Actually, McGinniss is playing it pretty close to the vest as to what he observed of the Palins. In an interview with the Huffington Post he said, “They live in a place where anybody who wants to look onto their property, all they have to do is get a boat and park 10 yards off shore and they can sit there all day and look at the Palin’s yard, if that’s what they want to do. But I don’t know who would want to do that.”

He described Palin supporters however, as something akin to those identically dressed criminal henchmen In James Bond films that would do anything evil villain Blofeld asked of them. “It’s just a peculiar thing, but she does, as I found out in May, she presses a button and what comes back is hate,” he said. “The people who respond when she complains about something are just so filled with hate. I got some of the ugliest, most vile e-mails directed at me, my grandchildren, my children, my wife – just ugly, ugly stuff.” Then again, what did he expect?

Unlike the recent Palin-blasting Vanity Fair article however, McGinniss said that most people in Palin’s hometown were willing to speak to him. Yet, he did agree with the Vanity Fair characterization that there was what he calls an “undercurrent of fear.” He said, “People – I don’t know if they’re afraid of shadows or whether there’s something real there – she’s no longer in a position of governmental influence but there are people up there who are scared to death to talk because if Sarah ever found out they talked, oh, something terrible would happen to them.”

Nevertheless, McGinniss claims that most everyone would talk to him. “It was the greatest place because there were no closed doors. There was nobody who said, ‘I don’t want to talk to you. And that’s pretty much the way it is today with the single exception of that least Alaskan of all Alaskans, Sarah Palin.'”

What, Sarah Palin would not talk to the author? Of course not, if she had, she would have been unable to later claim that she was not consulted or provided the opportunity to explain things. That is, after all, the Sarah Palin standard operating procedure for dealing with criticism.

Who cares what Palin says or thinks anyway? Let’s just hope that McGinniss has unearthed a whole big bunch of Palin skeletons while he was lurking about in their backyard. Stay tuned for the book’s release. Until then, let’s have some fun with a song parody.

We will address the latest round of Tea-Bagger/G.O.P. primary election infighting tomorrow.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Hey Joe song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzkvWWMacyY

HEY JOE

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Hey Joe”)

Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that pen in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said where you goin’ with that pen in your hand?
I’m goin’ to a town called Wassilly
To see Sarah Palin and the “First Dude” man

Yeah, I’m gonna write a book ‘bout that lady now
You know I’ll be messin’ ‘round with the Palin clan
If that ain’t too cool

Hey Joe, I bet you’ll take that Palin down, take her down now
Hey Joe, I bet you’ll make her squirm and frown, take down that clown
“Yeah, yes I will, I’ll get her
You know I love when I’m messin’ ‘round with those Palin clowns”

Yes I will, I’ll get her
You know I love when I’m messin’ ‘round with the Palin clowns
Yeah, and I’m sure havin’ fun
I’ll get her!

(great Hendrix solo)

Hey Joe
Who’s she gonna run to now, who’s she gonna run to now?
Hey Joe
Who’s Sarah gonna run to now, who’s she gonna run to, baby?

She’ll go to the big mouth, the big mouth
She’ll go to Glenn Beck baby, alright
She’s goin’ way down south, way down south, baby
Way down there on Fox TV

Ain’t no one gonna mess with her there, baby
That’s her gang man, brother
There a great big bunch of dopes, dopes like Sarah P., yeah
You better believe it baby

Hey, Joe, you’ll take that Palin down, I bet ya
Goodbye Palin buddies

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Palin follows “Gang Rape” and “Cajones” with “Impotent” and “Limp”

Sarah just loves the "F-Word"

Nevermind the fact that the recently released Vanity Fair article titled, “Sarah Palin: the Sound and the Fury” reveals overheard arguments between Sarah and husband Todd in which “F-Bombs” are dropped like so many Alaskan snow-flakes, we only need read Palin’s books and tweets and listen to her interviews to witness her sex-obsessed toilet-mouth in action.

The aforemention non-flattering Vanity Fair article includes the following segment detailing  Sarah and Todd’s marital chemistry:

One person who has been a frequent houseguest of the Palins’ says that the couple began many mornings with screaming fights, a fusillade of curses: “ ‘Fuck you,’ ‘Fuck this,’ ‘You lazy piece of shit.’ ‘You’re fuckin’ lucky to have me,’ Sarah would always say.” (This person never saw Todd and Sarah sleep in the same bed, and recalls that Todd would often joke, “I don’t know how she ever gets pregnant.”)

If you are unwilling to believe the words of that particular unnamed source, simply take a look at some of Palin’s own published or recorded words to get a taste of her often sexually charged language. For Instance, Palin has long held that her children are unfairly exploited by the media and that their personal lives should be off bounds. However, in her ghost-written memoir titled “Going Rogue” she unabashedly wrote,

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

There is no denying the fact that threats of gang rape are serious matters, especially when allegedly made against two young girls. The problem with the Palin allegation however, is that both school officials and local law enforcement have stated that these threats were never reported to them by the Palins. Was that because Palin did not believe them to be credible threats or was it simply to protect her daughters’ privacy? In either case then, why would Palin then publicize these events in a widely read book? Is it because “gang rape” is a spicy term sure to attract attention?

Another example of Palin’s off-color, sexually tinged language occurred just last month. While appearing as a guest on “Fox News Sunday”and discussing the Obama administration’s partial judicial victory in the litigation over Arizona’s controversial immigration law, Palin said  that Arizona’s female Republican governor has “the cojones that our President does not”. Palin claimed, in essence, that Jan Brewer has bigger “balls” than Barack Obama. How is that for showing respect for the office of the President of the United States of America.

Sarah Palin is obsessed with references to genitalia. Just last Thursday evening, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s program on the Fox network, Palin was discussing the unflattering Vanity Fair article. She was upset that the author had quoted many anonymous sources so she said,

Those who are impotent and limp and gutless and they go on their anonymous – sources that are anonymous – and impotent, limp and gutless reporters take anonymous sources and cite them as being factual references. It just slays me because it’s so absolutely clear what the state of yellow journalism is today that they would take these anonymous sources as fact.

Really Sarah, “impotent” and “limp”? Is that the best you could do with your limited vocabulary? Perhaps Washington Post media critic Howie Kurtz put it best when he said, “I agree [with] Palin on overuse of unnamed sources, but calling reporters ‘impotent’ and ‘limp’? Did she have to go there?”

The answer to Kurtz’s question? Of course she did. With Palin, it is always either the “F-Bomb” or “gang rape” or “cajones” and now “impotent” and “limp”. She is a classless woman that must always resort to potty talk because she lacks the education and intellectualism to carry on a more socially acceptable adult conversation. Any respectable host would be embarrassed to invite her to a gathering at his/her home for fear that Palin’s language would devolve into gutter talk.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

You’re Going To Lose That Girl song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ABWbnuQhk

YOU’RE JUST A LOSER GIRL

(sung to the Beatles song “You’re Going To Lose That Girl”)

You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo -ooser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)

Sarah Palin is so far right
She’s a Tea Party pawn (She’s a Tea Party pawn)
All of her fans are lily-white
They are deaf, dumb and blind (They are deaf, dumb and blind)
You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo -ooser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)

Palin has gone off the deep end
She’s got her blinders on (She’s got her blinders on)
And she just built a twelve foot fence
So Joe cannot look on (He’s not the only one)
You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo -ooser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo –ooser… (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)

She’ll make a point of tellin’ only lies to you (That’s what she’ll do) Yeah
She’s such a cheater what else can she do?

{Guitar} (You’re just a loser, girl)
{Guitar} (You’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo -ooser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo –ooser… (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)

She’ll make a point of tellin’ only lies to you (That’s what she’ll do) Yeah
Let’s go defeat her, what else can we do?

I think her hair’s pulled much too tight
She’s clearly lost her mind (She’s clearly lost her mind)
She really is just Glenn Beck-Lite
They are two of a kind (They are two of a kind)
You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loser, girl (Yes, yes, you’re just a loser, girl)
You’re just a loo –ooser, girl. You’re just a loo –ooser

Sarah Palin: “Is Margaret Thatcher The Author Of Harry Potter?”

"Give me just a second, I know who Thatcher is"

Another tasty chestnut from the recent Vanity Fair article about Sarah Palin is this:

Early in the 2008 campaign, when John McCain’s aides discovered that Alaska-size gaps existed in Palin’s general knowledge (among those previously unreported: she had no idea who Margaret Thatcher was), they from time to time would give her some books to read in hopes of improving the candidate’s learning curve. On one such occasion, Palin accepted the books, set them aside, and for the next 25 minutes was held rapt by one of her three BlackBerrys.

Eventually, an aide asked, “What are you working on?”

“I’m reading these great e-mails,” she said, “from the prayer warriors.”

It has now been confirmed that while her son suffers from a disabling genetic condition, Sarah Palin is “retarded”. (Thanks nswfm)

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Imagine song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLgYAHHkPFs&feature=related

IMAGINE

(Sung to the John Lennon song “Imagine”)

Imagine there’s no Sarah
She’s in a doublewide
No more winks and blinks
No Bristol the child bride
Imagine all Alaskans
Living life in peace…

(Aye-hi-hi-i-i-i…)

Imagine “thanks but no thanks”
Was never said at all
There was no “Joe the Plumber”
She stayed at City Hall
Imagine Americans
Spared from Sarah P….

(You-hoo-oo-oo-oo)

You may say that we’re dreamers
But we’re having tons of fun
The First Dude claims she’s a screamer
And she’s certainly no nun

Imagine a “pig with lipstick”
I’m certain that you can
Remember Katie Couric
And Gibson, he’s “the Man”
Imagine all the people
Tina Fey also…

(You-hoo-oo-oo-oo)

You may say that we’re dreamers
But we’re not the only ones
Levi Johnston’s right with us
And he’s got Sarah’s grandson

Sarah Palin: The Tabloid Schizoid

Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.

Remember when this happened during the Katie Couric/ Sarah Palin televised interview in September 2008?


Boy, did we learn a lot about the quitting ex-governor’s reading habits and news sources that day. It appeared at the time as if she could not remember the names of any accredited newspapers or periodicals that she regularly read. She was asked to be specific but she simply chose to give some general evasive answer involving Alaskans’ ability to access news sources. Now in retrospect however, it appears that she was not suffering from a momentary memory lapse, but was rather trying to hide the actual literature (and we use that term loosely) that she does in fact read.

In  Vanity Fair magazine there was an expose by former future son-in-law Levi Johnston about Sarah Palin. And it was not flattering. The article was titled, Me and Mrs. Palin and included a segment in which Johnston explained the erstwhile journalism major’s reading habits as follows:

“Once in a blue moon, I’d see her reading a book, and I’ve never even seen her read a newspaper in my life. The Frontiersman and the Anchorage Daily News were always there in the morning, but the only one who looked through them was Todd.”

There it is, she does not read newspapers. Inasmuch as Johnston has revealed that she shops at Walmart and eats at Taco Bell, it is not much of a stretch to assume that she reads only People, Us, The National Enquirer and The Star. Please Sarah, the next time that someone asks you that question, answer it honestly and in detail or it may come back to haunt you…again.

Luckily for us, this week the tabloids have focused on Palin and her family again. this time it is the National Enquirer that shines the unflattering spotlight on the Alaska Disastah. The title of the article is Palin’s Boozy Wild Child and here are some excerpts:

Sarah Palin’s got another Wasilla wild child on her hands  – 15-year-old daughter Willow who’s running with the “wrong crowd”.

Big sister Bristol made headlines with her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and now Willow has been named as a participant in a teenage booze bash that got out of hand, say sources.

“Willow has been running with the wrong crowd,” confides a friend. “They are a popular high school clique known as the Colony Girls, who are well known as hard partiers and are regularly involved in underage drinking and smoking dope.”

In July 2009, Willow was photographed slamming back a bottle of vodka at a Juneau house party. “Sarah was fuming when that photo of Willow was published,” said the friend.

Her older sister Bristol scandalized her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, as a dope-smoking underage drinker and party girl. At 17, she announced she was pregnant – by hunky Levi Johnston whose mother was later sent to jail for pushing drugs.

Bristol,  who gave birth to baby Tripp in December 2008, later organized an much ballyhooed advocacy group to prevent teen pregnancy.

Track, meanwhile, has had drug problems in the past, and was addicted to the painkiller OxyContin before shipping off to Iraq.

The former Alaska governor – who ran for vice president on a family values platform – is upset that Willow’s wild behavior could cause her embarrassment as she promotes her new gig as Fox News commentator.

“Right now, Sarah’s trying to sweep the whole thing under the rug,” the source said.

Juicy stuff.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AND PLEA FOR HELP !!!

As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

Marthacoakley.com

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,

Lynnrockets


Today’s song parody explores Sarah Palin’s relationship with the press. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Sunday Papers song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r1ub00btE&feature=related

SUNDAY PAPERS

(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin Is A Halloween Scream

sarah-palin_Lurch

Sarah Palin after learning that she is less popular than Michele Bachmann

It now appears that there is hope for all attendees of five or six colleges before obtaining any kind of a degree and to those who have lost elections and then quit their jobs. All they need do is simply have their memoirs ghostwritten and then sold to Harper-Collins Publishing. That course of action should land them a $ 1.25 million advance as it did for Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska.

The book is titled, Going Rogue and will be released on November 17, 2009. Problem is, the tome is already being heavily discounted and is sure to be found in the discount bins of most book stores after the holidays. Will the publisher be looking to recapture some of that advance from Palin should book sales flop? Alternatively, will Palin write a quick supplemental chapter to counter the most recent accusations of her former future son-in-law, Levi Johnston on this morning’s edition of CBS Early Show? Such as:

There are some things that I have that are huge. And I haven’t said them because I’m not gonna hurt her that way … I have things that can, you know — that would get her in trouble, and could hurt her. Will hurt her. But I’m not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there’s — I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going that far.

Johnston also expanded upon his earlier contention in a Vanity Fair interview that Palin would refer to her Down syndrome child as “retarded.”

I was just in shock for the first time I heard it, and then she’d say it regularly. And I think she was joking, but it doesn’t make it right.

That does not reflect kindly upon Palin who very frequently in public appearances would use her son Trig as an example for kinder and more understanding treatment of children with special needs. It also calls into question her perhaps feigned, if not misguided, outraged reaction to a Photo-shopped illustration of her cradling a baby with the face of a conservative Alaskan radio personality on the basis that it was insulting to special needs children. Also regarding son Trig, Johnston said that Palin’s daughter Bristol performed most of the mothering.

Johnston did not however, unleash any bombshells about Palin, although he did let it be known that he still has plenty of ammunition.

Those are just little … things I put in Vanity Fair. You know, all the big things I got, I’m keeping — you know, i’m keeping them in, and — you know, it’s just something that probably will never come out.

Will it never come out? Perhaps Johnston is just holding back the big stuff for either future leverage against his once and future mother-in-law or as an enticement for some hush-up money. The plot thickens. The second segment of the Early Show interview will air tomorrow.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

Rich Girl song link: http://www.last.fm/music/Hall%2B%2526%2BOates/_/Rich+Girl

WITCH GIRL III

(sung to the Hall & Oates song “Rich Girl”)

You’re a witch girl, up in A-las-ka
And it’s getting worse for you every day
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You’re a stitch girl? Cuz you’re quite bizzare
So we really wish you would go away
Pray, Honey that we don’t send you too far
Send you too far

And don’t you know, don’t you know
That it’s wrong to preach politics of hate
You’re so far gone, so far gone
Lil’ Miss Caribou you belong in a zoo
Todd should be in there too

‘Cause

You’re a witch girl and you’re no big star
And mascara won’t help you hide your age
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
There’s a hitch girl, you’re a has-been now
And the voters have all left and turned the page
The pitbull is a pig with lipstick now
Now say “Bow Wow”

Not too bright, a bit insane
It’s so sleazy, to damn others just because they complain
Those little fools and their ethics rules
They just get in your way and impede your payday
They will rue the day, oh…

You’re a witch girl, and you’ve gone too far
But that defense fund should help to pay your way
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You’ll be a rich girl with a brand new car
And then you’ll move your family far away
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Get you too far

And you say

You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You’re a rich girl, a witch girl
Oh, you’re a rich bitch girl yeah
Say money but it won’t get you too far
Oh, get ya too far

Sarah Palin’s Lunch Bunch

Palin orders chalupas for winning bidders at Wasilla, AK Taco Bell

Palin orders chalupas for winning bidders at Wasilla, AK Taco Bell

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off have had to digest (pun intended) a lot of information before commenting on the lunch date with Sarah Palin that you can bid on at ebay. We all know the basics, right? Sarah Palin the ex-quitting-governor of Alaska has agreed to host a lunch date with herself, Todd “The First Dude” and two more of her friends with the winning bidder and four of his/her companions. All proceeds from the event, namely the amount of the winning bid, will be donated to a charitable group known as Ride2Recovery, which sponsors bike riding therapeutic sessions for wounded veterans. So far, so good.

In typical Palin fashion however, things are never so straight forward or simple. There are so many contingencies and pre-qualification requirements on bidding that we believe that the only two potentially acceptable bidders will be Joe The Plumber and Joe “You Lie” Wilson. To begin, the opening bid is          $ 25,000.00. Next, the lunch will take place at an establishment to be chosen by Sarah Palin and the winning bidder must fork over the extra dough (that was a food analogy, get it? fork, dough) required for travel to said destination. OK, so what fine dining establishment might Palin choose? We can only think of two. Either it will be at that infamous turkey farm where we watched Palin give an interview while simultaneously watching a turkey get its head ground to bits, or it will be at her favorite dinner spot as revealed by Levi Johnston in his Vanity Fair exposé, Chez Taco Bell. Both of these places are in Alaska by the way so airfare will not be cheap.

Moving right along, we then notice this particular disclaimer in the ebay offering:

A background check for all attendees is mandatory. Failure to pass the background check will result in the winner forfeiting the experience and a refund given.

and this,

Respect for Ms. Palin and her guest(s) is expected at all times. Inappropriate behavior will result in the conclusion of the experience with no refund.

and this,

Dinner shall last no more than four hours, but could be less, in the sole discretion of Sarah Palin.* Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors.

Let’s delve into this pre-qualification requirement a little bit. On the ebay webpage you must click on an icon and then provide such information as your name, address, and telephone and email info. This is a bit redundant because you already have to provide all of that information to ebay in order to bid on any of their auctions. It is then that you might notice the writing at the bottom of the pre-qualification form which says:

*After you submit this form, a Kompolt representative will review your information and contact you via phone to complete the Pre-Qualification process.

There’s the catch. You see, somebody will actually telephone you and interview you as to your political party affiliation, race, gender and religion. There will probably be one of those “litmus tests” regarding your pro-choice/pro-life leanings also, too. Hardly seems worth all of the effort, does it?

Oh, one last thing. Click on the actual ebay offering page, here. Notice the writing over Palin’s photo which says, “Free Shipping”. What the hell does that mean? Can you avoid the travel costs by somehow shipping yourself and associates via Fedex or something to Alaska? Or, in the alternative, can you have the Palin Bunch shipped to you free of charge? If you have any other explanation, please enlighten us in the comment section.

Today’s song parody pays homage to a wonderful Beatles song in honor of their entire catalog being re-mastered and re-released this week. Please click on the link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but also to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Yesterday song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-n1Ro456nA&feature=related

YESTERDAY

(sung to the Beatles song “Yesterday”)

Yesterday, Sarah Palin seemed so far away
Now it looks as though she’s here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly,
Palin’s all over my TV screen
My God, she is such a drama queen
She whines and cries so stubbornly

She “goes with the flow”
“Like dead fish”, she’s on her way
She’s off to Hong Kong
Singing songs for her payday

Yesterday, Sarah auctioned herself on Ebay
I’d rather eat lunch with Tina Fey
She’s so much smarter anyway

She’s on Glenn Beck’s show
Plumber Joe’s the double-play
If things don’t go wrong
She’ll be on another day

Yesterday, Sarah Palin seemed so far away
Now I wish that they’d lock her away
Oh, I remember yesterday
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm

Sarah Palin, Queen Of The Tabloids

Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.

Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.

Remember when this happened during the Katie Couric/ Sarah Palin televised interview in September 2008?

Boy, did we learn a lot about the quitting ex-governor’s reading habits and news sources that day. It appeared at the time as if she could not remember the names of any accredited newspapers or periodicals that she regularly read. She was asked to be specific but she simply chose to give some general evasive answer involving Alaskans’ ability to access news sources. Now in retrospect however, it appears that she was not suffering from a momentary memory lapse, but was rather trying to hide the actual literature (and we use that term loosely) that she does in fact read.

In this month’s issue of Vanity Fair magazine there is an expose by former future son-in-law Levi Johnston about Sarah Palin. And it ain’t flattering. The article is titled, Me and Mrs. Palin and there is a segment in which Johnston explains the journalism major’s reading habits as follows:

“Once in a blue moon, I’d see her reading a book, and I’ve never even seen her read a newspaper in my life. The Frontiersman and the Anchorage Daily News were always there in the morning, but the only one who looked through them was Todd.”

There it is, she does not read newspapers. Inasmuch as Johnston has revealed that she shops at Walmart and eats at Taco Bell, it is not much of a stretch to assume that she reads only People, Us, The National Enquirer and The Star. Please Sarah, the next time that someone asks you that question, answer it honestly and in detail. Enquiring minds want to know.

Today’s song parody explores Sarah Palin’s relationship with the press. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Sunday Papers song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r1ub00btE&feature=related

SUNDAY PAPERS

(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

For Palin, Life’s Not Always (Vanity) Fair

tina-fey-vanity-fair-cover2008a

Poor Sarah Palin. It seems the whole world is piling on. This time it is an unflattering article about her in Vanity Fair magazine. We can already hear the Palinbots complaining about that dirty rotten main stream media. As for us here at Lynnrockets Blast-Off, we must admit that we have been waiting for the chance to parody Simon and Garfunkel’s classic, Scarborough Fair. As we have said before, Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Scarborough Fair song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEhAXQ5QQzs

VANITY FAIR

(sung to the Simon and Garfunkel song “Scarborough Fair”)

Palin is featured in Vanity Fair
On each page they describe her crimes
First Dude and she appear quite a pair
They live off Alaska’s state dime

Vanity Fair exposes the dirt
There’s one page just like in High Times
Behind the scenes while they’re at work
All she does is complain and whine

They bought her some clothes for one-hundred grand
She enraged us with her punch-lines
Her teen pregnant daughter always at hand
And she put lipstick on a swine

Palin could not keep her campaign staff together
They kept leaving one at a time
And together they witnessed the stormy weather
On one another, her staff did dine

Sarah is starring in Vanity Fair
On each page they describe her crimes
First Dude and she appear quite a pair
They live off Alaska’s state dime