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Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Believes Palin Will Run
The former top political adviser (for whatever that is worth) to President George W. Bush believes that Sarah Palin will soon announce that she is running for president. Karl Rove, more commonly known as Turd Blossom, is now the leader of a conservative political action committee known as American Crossroads and he feels that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run.
Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”, a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said,
“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”
Palin of course has been incapable of making a decision as to whether she should join the “Koch Bros., Crackpots and Unknowns Presidential Circus” for at least the last four years. The former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has however, recently paraded her faux family vacation shrink-wrapped luxury dream-liner through many early primary states and she attended the Iowa State Fair on the same weekend as the Ames Straw Poll. She has also authorized the creation and release of “The Undefeated”, an abysmal failure of a theatrical release about her rise to political incompetence. Most recently, her political action committee SarahPAC even released a video of her Iowa appearances and she plans to return to Iowa on September 3rd. Still, she has refused to answer questions about her presidential plans as stubbornly as she refused to answer any and all questions during debates and televised interviews in 2008 while running for Vice President.
Who knows what kind of faith can be placed in Karl Rove’s prediction, however? After all, he is the same guy who completely misinterpreted the big bank bailout and formation of the Tea Party as follows:
“Remember the Tea Party movement didn’t get started in September of 2008 when the bank bailout was passed. It really began on Feb. 19th, 2009 when a television commentator named Rick Santelli stood up and said what the hell are we doing bailing out people who couldn’t afford a mortgage by taking money from people like me who are prudent?”
In any event, here’s hoping that Sarah Palin does choose to rune for President. The nation could use a few more laughs.
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s
BORN TO RUN
(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)
In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)
Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)
(Twitter break)
She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh
(Facebook break)
(one two three four…)
She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run
Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run
Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run
Palin Flick A Flop !!!
Despite what the Palinistas (few as they are) will tell you, the Sarah Palin self-promoted propaganda film “The Undefeated” is a monumental bust. Final figures are in for last weekend’s movie premieres and they do not reflect well upon the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. The numbers for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II” revealed that it made $481.6 million. In contrast, the New York Post reports,
“At the other end of the tally, the Sarah Palin doc “Undefeated” did $65,132. Considering it was playing only at 10 cherry-picked locations with lots of her supporters, that’s a mediocre start at best — no matter what her fans at Big Hollywood are claiming. The per-screen average — about the same as the doc “Tabloid” — is only going to go down when the flick moves into wider release. Just like it did for “Atlas Shrugged, Part One.”’
Ouch! That is sure to leave a mark upon the ego of America’s biggest publicity hound.
The Palin disaster film’s true failure can be gauged by a comparison with Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11” (2004). That film grossed $24,078,959.00 on its opening weekend. Moore’s film did 369% better than Palins at a time when box office prices were lower.
Here are some tidbits from reviews of the Palin film:
Roll Call: “There’s little doubt Palin, who did not participate in production of “The Undefeated,” will be pleased with the final result. But it’s not a good film.”
RottenTomatoes.com: “0% rating”
The Village Voice: “a glowing two-hour infomercial for Sarah Palin, Presidential Candidate To-Be”
Los Angeles Times: “a troop-rallying campaign infomercial as imagined by Michael Bay: hero-worshipping, crescendo-edited at a dizzying pace, thunderously repetitive and its own worst enemy as a two-hour, talking-points briefing”
New York Magazine: “I swear I gave The Undefeated a chance, because who wants to writhe in agony for two hours? I hoped that director Stephen K. Bannon would show a side of Sarah Palin I’d never seen — I thought it would be so cool if I could give the movie a rave. But it’s a straight hagiography, without nuance or ambiguity or the admission of opposing viewpoints, even those meant to be dismantled. The orchestra never rests, delivering climax after climax as Palin’s triumphs are recounted by her remaining loyalists, each waist-high in the frame so we can see them rocking with excitement”
metacritic.com: “score of 2.4 out of 10”, “Unfavorable”
Like Sarah Palin herself, her bio-pic “The Undefeated” is an unmitigated failure.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
I’m A Loser song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXHO7hScOCA
SHE’S A LOSER
(sung to the Beatles song “I’m A Loser”)
She’s a loser
She’s a loser
Palin’s just what she appears to be
Of the elections she’s won, more have lost
Tea Party honor has come at a cost
She called both Angle and Miller a friend
But her endorsement hurt them in the end
She’s a loser
And a victim of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
Now she’s hated by the G.O.P.
Sarah P. talks and she acts like a clown
She’s been rejected by nude-boy Scott Brown
The jeers are falling like rain from the sky
She can’t be saved by the wink of her eye
She’s a loser
Like the members of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
And she’s only out to make a fee
(Russia viewing break)
She loves to spread her politics of hate
When she got caught she just quit on her state
Oh yes it’s true, she is in a free fall
Palin is screwed like a fish to the wall
She’s a loser
And she lost again so recently
She’s a loser
For some proof just turn on Fox TV
Palin’s “Undefeated” Suffers Crushing Defeat
Sarah Palin’s attempt at marketing herself by means of a theatrical film is egocentric at best and flat-out comical at worst. Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned a conservative filmmaker to make a $1 million feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated” The film is about Palin’s political career up to the point of her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008 in which she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated. Inasmuch as Palin was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, the film’s title appears to be rather misleading.
In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. But really, would you expect anything different from Palin? She does not take criticism well and always portrays herself as a victim.
One major obstacle to the film’s goal of re-booting the Palin image however, is that next to nobody will ever actually view the film. The movie opened yesterday, but distributors put the film in just 10 AMC theaters nationwide, mostly in reliably conservative markets like Dallas, Texas and Orange County in southern California. Adding insult to injury, it does not appear that even those hand-picked theatres can attract an audience. For instance, Conor Friedersdorf of The Atlantic reports that only he and two other patrons attended the opening screening at the Orange County, CA theatre (and the other two folks left after only 20 minutes). Friedersdorf reports that after the movie concluded,
“I found a theater manager, told him I was a reporter, and asked if he could give me numbers about ticket sales. ‘Did anyone pay and not show up?’ He said that they’d sold out all the Harry Potter movies until 2 a.m., and that all 5,000 seats looked full. ‘No,’ I said, ‘I saw the Sarah Palin movie. Do you know the figures for that one?.’ ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘I can’t release sales figures.'”
Yikes. now we know that more people will show-up to view a car accident scene than to watch a film about Palin. It is evident that the former ex-quitting half-term Alaskan Governor’s 15 minutes of fame are over. She has been replaced in the category of moon-bat crazy female Teapublican whacko by Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann. So what does the future hold for Caribou Barbie? Lynnrockets‘ guess is another reality television series.
Perhaps it will be titled, “The Really Biggest Loser”!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
TURN THE PAGE
(sung to the Bob Seger song “Turn The Page”)
On a long and lonesome highway
East of Wasilla
Do we even need to mention
Palin travels with her throng
She’s a winkin’ blinkin’ woman
Who dresses like a sidewalk whore
The big country she is wandering
On book-tour number two
Sarah’s signing books for hours
And she’s counting all her loot
Still, her poll numbers are slidin’
And there’s not much she can do
Hey, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Sarah slithers in a Border’s Books
And she mounts her throne
Her supporters in a long queue
They’re donating all they own
They consider it loyalty dues
Tribute their queen is owed
Most times when you hear her talk
You can’t understand
All those nonsense clichés
Formed in Palin-Land
For those blatant gaffes and blunders
She earns one-hundred grand
Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Palin loves the spotlight
Maybe more than Tina Fey
Despite all of her energy
Her fame will fade away
She will become a nobody
Just a slice of yesterday
Sarah’s selfish scheming
And the hate-speak that she spreads
Along with all of those blatant liars,
Fox News talking heads
The Tea Party’s new Penthouse Pet
Sounds like “Uncle Jed”
Ah, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Ya, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
There she goes
Not Coming To A Theatre Near You: New Palin Film
CNN reports that a secretly-produced, $1 million feature film titled, “The Undefeated,” about Sarah Palin will debut in Iowa next week, a source confirms to CNN.
Sarah Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned a conservative filmmaker to make a feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated” The film is about Palin’s political career up to her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008, which is obvious because she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated in that election. She was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, so this film’s title appears to be rather misleading at best.
So, who is this Bannon guy? He is a former Goldman Sachs banker who now makes right-wing propaganda films. His previous flops include, “In The Face Of Evil” (about Ronald Reagan); “Generation Zero” (about how 1960′s hippies caused the 2008 economic collapse) and “Fire From The Heartland” (about conservative women such as Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann and Palin). Bannon claims to have won Best Documentary at the Liberty Film Festival, but that festival was formed to give awards to right-wing filmmakers. In short, Stephen K. Bannon is an unaccomplished conservative mouthpiece.
In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. did you expect anything different?
The film is likely to be released only in a few small hamlets of radical conservatism, so it is unlikely that most Americans will ever be exposed to it. There is however, a little something in the film that progressives might enjoy. The Real Clear Politics article describes the opening sequence as a fast-paced sequence of clips showing some of the prominent celebrities who have used sexist, derogatory and generally vicious language to describe her. Rosie O’Donnell, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and Howard Stern all have brief cameos before comedian Louis C.K. goes off on a particularly ugly anti-Palin riff. “I hate her more than anybody,” C.K. says at the end of his tirade, the rest of which is unfit to print in a family-friendly blog.
Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska has had her own reality television series, is a host on Fox News, has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours and now is the subject of a feature-length motion picture. Nonetheless, she once portrayed President Barack Obama as more of a celebrity than a serious politician. Who does she think she is kidding?
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU
MY WAY
(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)
And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”
You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.
Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.
Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.
Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.
To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.
For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!
Yes, hit the highway.