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Romney Lies Again: He Favored Mandated Contraception Before He Was Against It!

Mitt Romney, the Flip-Flopper-In-Chief has been exposed yet again.

Romney has jumped on the bandwagon of those who state the the federal government’s regulation which mandates that all employers (with the exception of church’s and houses of worship) provide their employees with health insurance policies which include contraception at no cost to employees, is an “attack on religious liberty”. Problem is, shortly after Romney made that statement it was revealed that while he was Governor of Massachusetts there was a similar law in effect which he reinforced in his RomneyCare health law.

In an attempt to distance himself from the Massachusetts law, Romney came back yesterday and said,

“Actually the legislation in our state that related to providing contraception and sterilization, those kinds of things in insurance, occurred before I was governor. And my effort as governor was to try and remove those things. I was unsuccessful in removing them — my legislature was 85 percent Democrat — but the White House can’t point to my record because this occurred before I became governor and my effort was to get it out of the legislation going forward.”

OK, that sounds reasonable. At least it would if it were true. Unfortunately for Romney it is not true at all.

The Maddow Blog today reveals the real story. To be fair, some of the mandated contraception policy pre-dates Romney’s one term in Massachusetts office. In 2002, then-Gov. Jane Swift (R) signed a measure requiring insurers to cover the cost of contraceptives. Insurance purchased by churches or church-controlled organizations were exempt. Four years later however, Governor Romney signed a statewide health care reform package into law (RomneyCare) that solidified the contraception mandate. While he now claims to have “fought to remove” the mandates, such is not the case at all.

Former Massachusetts Secretary for Human Services Phil Johnston reports as follows:

“Mitt Romney never expressed any concern about the mandate — never mentioned that it would infringe upon religious freedoms. During the four years that Governor Romney served, he was totally silent about that issue. Most notably, his signature issue as Governor, which all of us supported and which we now affectionately refer to as ‘Romneycare’ left the contraception mandate in place.

“So when he says he opposes the contraception mandate and will repeal it, which apparently he’s been saying the past day or two since this issue has become very public, he’s really not being truthful. He had four years to repeal it or to speak out against it in our state and he didn’t do that. And even more tellingly, his own healthcare plan which he signed into law embraced contraception mandates.”

Harvard University professor of public health, John McDonough adds:

“[Romney] did not, in fact, propose eliminating broader mandated benefits protections for Massachusetts consumers. More importantly, the law that he signed a year later in April 2006 also created the Commonwealth Care program as well as other new insurance programs and that included coverage for all of the existing mandated benefits at the time, including contraception coverage.

“The record does match a lot of the claims that are being made on it. There was a pretty consistent level of support for contraceptive coverage and mandated benefits throughout the Romney era when he was governor. I have absolutely zero recollection of any reference at any point, as a candidate or as governor, where he attacked or tried to undermine contraceptive coverage.”

It would appear then, like so many other things, Mitt(wit) Romney was in favor of mandated no-cost contraception before he was against it.

UPDATE:

It is now being reported that in response to the debate concerning mandated no-cost contraception, the Barack Obama administration has decided to change the wording but not the effect of the federal regulation. The Boston Globe reports that religious employers will not have to cover birth control for their employees. The administration instead will demand that insurance companies will be the ones directly responsible for providing free contraception. Women will still get guaranteed access to birth control without co-pays or premiums no matter where they work, a provision of Obama’s health care law that he insisted must remain. But religious universities and hospitals that see contraception as an unconscionable violation of their faith can refuse to cover it, and insurance companies will then have to step in to do so. Under the new policy, religious employers will not be required to offer contraception and will not have to refer their employees to places that provide it. If such an employer opts out, the employer’s insurance company must provide birth control for free in a separate arrangement with workers who want it.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFI-hhndCek

THE ROMNEY HILLBILLY

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?

Mitt(wit) Romney Is One Of The Beautiful People

Think about this for a moment. Could Mitt Romney possibly do any better a job at convincing the American people that he is a filthy rich, privileged, out of touch, heartless and deceiving candidate for President of the United States?

Setting aside for the moment his countless flip-flops on policy issues and the fact that he is now Donald Trump’s BFF, let’s take a close look at some of the facts about this Republican and also at some of the things that he has actually said.

Mitt Romney is one of the richest men in the country. Despite the fact that he has wealth to spare however, as the result of an unfair tax code, he pays less than 14% tax on his earnings. Indeed while earning $ 21.7 million in 2010, Romney paid a lower tax rate than a person earning only $ 50,000 in wages per year. To make matters worse, Romney’s proposed tax overhaul would maintain this preposterously low rate for the wealthy while penalizing people earning $ 40,000 or less per year.

Romney is so out of touch with human emotion that he once strapped the family dog to the roof of his car for a 12 hour drive from Boston to Ontario, Canada. During the trip, The Boston Globe reported, Romney’s oldest son, Tagg, looked around through the rear window and yelled, “Dad — gross!” A brown liquid was dripping down the back window — diarrhea from an animal that just might have been caused by the stress of being inside a cage for 12 hours on top of a car going 60 mph. The Globe described what Romney then did as follows: “As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station. There he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.” How is that for loving treatment of a beloved family pet?

Let’s now take a look at some of the things Mitt Romney has said:

“I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.” (Romney’s campaign later admitted that they didn’t march on the same day, or in the same city;

“I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I’ve been a hunter pretty much all my life.” (Romney’s campaign later said he’d been hunting twice, once when he was 15, and once in 2006 at a Republican fundraiser;

“Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are.”;

“I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.”;

“I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” —Mitt Romney, speaking in 2011 to unemployed people in Florida. Romney’s net worth is over $200 million;

“There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip” –Mitt Romney, attempting to identify with the problems of average folk (January 2012);

“I’m running for office for Pete’s sake, we can’t have illegals” –Mitt Romney, recalling his reaction when he learned that there were illegal aliens working the ground on his property, employed by a firm that he subsequently fired (October 2011);

“[Obama's stimulus program is] one of the biggest peacetime spending binges in American history.” —Mitt Romney in April 2011, while U.S. troops were fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and involved in airstrikes against Libya;

“I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” –Mitt Romney (January 2012); and most recently

“I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there.” —Mitt Romney (January 2012).

Face it folks, Mitt Romney is not only a filthy rich, privileged, out of touch, heartless and deceiving candidate for President of the United States, he is also unquestionably unfit to be the President of the United States.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Baby, You’re A Rich Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8ZnI-ZO8Eo

ROMNEY, YOU’RE A RICH MAN

 (sung to the Beatles song “Baby, You’re A Rich Man”)

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
Now we all know just who you are
Privileged and G.O.P.
And now you are Donald Trump’s star
That’s some stupidity

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
So striking with perfect hair
Rolling in lots of dough
Mitt loves tax codes that are not fair
His tax rate is so low

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

Mitt keeps all your money in an offshore bank, that’s what you do
What a thing to do

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
Inheritance from Daddy
Nothing to do with gays
Layoffs with jobs sent overseas
Happy it is that way

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

Mitt keeps all his money in an offshore bank, that’s what you do
What a thing to do

Romney
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too…

More Lies At Last Night’s GOP Debate

Last night, the Republican Presidential candidates (what’s left of them, that is) held their 22nd debate thus far. If you missed it don’t worry, they have another one scheduled in just three days and then two more the following week.

By this time, the the remaining contenders Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney, Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum, Ron “Racist” Paul and Rick “Count to 3″ Perry have essentially already said all they have to say on any issue. Consequently, every debate now is simply a mishmash of each candidate uttering the words “Obamacare”, “socialist”, “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan”, “job creators”, “regulations”, “class warfare”, “abortion”, “entitlements” and “one man and one woman” in between the same old lies and misstatements. Conspicuously missing from virtually all of these debates are the terms “working class” and “middle class”. Hmmm…wonder why?

Because of the numerous and repetitive nature of these Republican debates, fewer and fewer people are actually taking the time to tune in to watch them. To do otherwise would be like watching the same rerun episode of “The Bachelor” over and over again. Simply put, there is very little new and substantive material emerging from each subsequent debate.

Occasionally however, a few new and unique lies and misstatements do surface. But do not worry, we are not suggesting that you watch the debates to learn about all the misinformation the GOP candidates spew out as fact. We will take one for the team (that’s “toftt” in cool computer talk) and watch these charades for you and then identify all the Republican lies and confusion right here. So, here we go. This is all the garbage from last night’s debate in South Carolina.

First of all, we should mention that the audience once again behaved like a group of drunken lunatics who are incapable of controlling their outbursts or whooping and screaming. Their behavior makes the GOP debates seem more like an evangelical revival meeting than a serious political forum. This crazy crowd even took to booing in the middle of questions. One example is when moderator Juan Williams was questioning Mitt Romney about immigration and mentioned that Romney’s father was born in Mexico. Before he could finish the question, “Boos!” came raining down from the audience. What could they possibly have been displeased about at that point, the fact that Romney’s father was born in Mexico or the fact that Williams revealed this truth? At another point, Ron Paul was booed when he said the United States should use “the Golden Rule” – do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Can you believe it? This wacky audience was booing “the Golden Rule”. This was very reminiscent of past GOP debate audiences cheering about the uninsured dying from their illnesses and cheering the fact that Rick Perry has executed more people than any other governor. What is next? Will Republican audiences boo the mail-carrier’s motto of “Neither snow nor rain nor gloom of night…”?

As for the lies and misstatements in last night’s debate, The Boston Globe has provided a fine fact-check column on the subject in today’s edition. Mitt Romney, as usual, was the biggest offender. First, Mitt Romney said “This president has opened up no new markets for American goods around the world in his three years, even as European nations and China have opened up 44.” Wrong! In fact, the Globe reminds us that “Obama revived (expired) Bush-administration-era free-trade pacts with South Korea, Panama and Columbia, all passed by Congress in October, in the biggest round of trade liberalization since the North American Free Trade Agreement and other pacts of that era. In particular, the agreement with South Korea is designed to break down barriers between the United States and the world’s 15th-largest economy. The South Korea deal has the potential to create as many as 280,000 American jobs, according to a recent assessment by the staff of the U.S. International Trade Commission, and to boost exports by more than $12 billion.”

Romney also misinformed the American people about his involvement with Bain Capital and his now admittedly false claim that while heading that firm, he created hundreds of thousands of jobs. Last night Romney said, “We invested in well over 100 different businesses. And the people have looked at the places that have added jobs and lost jobs and that record is pretty much available for people to take a close look at.” Not so fast there Mitt. The Globe reports “Romney’s record as a venture capitalist at Bain Capital has been presented by his campaign highly selectively; namely, by detailing several big success stories and ignoring the job losses that resulted from Bain-owned plants and companies that closed or shrank their workforce. His overall record is not even close to being known, because it is so complex. Many of the companies are private, without the public disclosure requirements that big corporations have, and his campaign has not released details.”

A few moments later Romney said, “Three years into office, he doesn’t have a jobs plan.” Wrong yet again! The Globe reports “Obama has proposed several plans intended to spur the economy and create jobs. The most well-known was his stimulus plan, introduced in February 2009, which included about $800 billion in tax cuts and spending. At the end of 2010, Obama struck a deal with GOP congressional leaders on a package intended to stimulate hiring and growth. The deal cut the Social Security payroll tax, which provided about an extra $1,000 a year to an average family. It also extended an unemployment benefits program that provided up to 99 weeks of aid. And in September, Obama introduced his most recent jobs plan, rolling it out in a speech to the full Congress in which he urged Congress to “pass it right away.” It included $450 billion in tax cuts and new spending, including greater cuts to payroll taxes and tax breaks for companies that hire those who’ve been out of work for six months or more.”

Not to be outdone in the misinformation category, Rick Santorum lied about negative campaign ads. He said, “My ads have been positive. The only ad that I’ve ever put up has contrasted myself with the other candidates, and does so in a way talking about issues.” Wrong! The Globe points out that “Santorum is coming out with an ad this week accusing Romney of being “just like Obama” and saying Romney “once bragged he’s even more liberal than Ted Kennedy on social issues,” two negative assertions that go beyond a mere look at issues.”

Of course, when it comes to lying, few people are better than Newt Gingrich. Gingrich was using Chile’s retirement system consisting of private accounts as a model for overhauling our government guaranteed Social Security program. He said “First of all, it’s totally voluntary. If you want to stay in the current system, stay in it. If you are younger and you want to go and take a personal savings account, which would be a Social Security savings account, you can take it.” Wrong! The Globe reveals that “There is nothing voluntary about Chile’s system. It requires that all workers contribute 10 percent of their salaries to private pension plans, plus other fees for insurance, instead of a government program like Social Security.”

Poor Rick Perry just showed once again that he is not intellectually up to the challenge to debate with adults. He foolishly described Turkey — a key US ally and NATO member — as a state “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.” This really does not matter however, as Perry will soon drop out of the race like so many other unqualified GOP candidates before him.

Because Rick Perry is about to disappear from the race, we dedicated today’s song parody to the dumbest Texan since George W. Bush.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But I do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Mitt(Wit) Romney Double-Flip-Flops His Way Into July

It would appear that Mitt Romney, the once and future GOP candidate for President, is content to allow his moniker as a flip-flopper to continue throughout his campaign. In fact, on July 1st he doubled-down on a couple of new flip-flops. The Mitt(Wit) seems willing to sport these summer-season sandals for the foreseeable future.

Mitt Romney of course, is the former Republican Massachusetts Governor and failed GOP candidate for President in 2008. He is seeking his party’s presidential nomination once again in 2012. He will however, face a lot of obstacles in attempting to win-over Republican support. The reason? Absolutely nobody understands what he stands for. He is, without doubt, the single biggest flip-flopper that we have ever scene. While Governor of Massachusetts he was in support of safe and legal abortions. He now claims to be staunchly pro-life. While campaigning in Massachusetts, he was a steadfast supporter of gun control regulations. Since then, he has joined the NRA and now claims to support essentially no firearm regulation. While in Massachusetts he favored carbon emission regulations. He now opposes them in any form.

Want more examples? In a 1994 letter to the Log Cabin Republicans, who advocate gay rights, Romney said he was in favor of “gays and lesbians being able to serve openly and honestly” in the military. He now says it would be a mistake to interfere with the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. In 1994, he advocated a spending limit on congressional elections and the abolition of political action committees. In 2002, he supported public financing of campaigns from a 10 percent tax on private fundraising. Later, Romney said the McCain-Feingold law limiting campaign contributions is an attack on free speech. In a November 2005 interview with the Boston Globe, he described an immigration overhaul advanced by John McCain as “reasonable.” He has since denounced it as an “amnesty plan.”

Of course, the most damaging of all the Mitt Romney flip-flops is his 360 degree reversal on health care reform policy. It is now common knowledge that although Romney is bending over backwards to join in on the Republican mantra of opposing everything about the Democrats’ 2010 health care reform law, he actually enacted a virtually identical plan in Massachusetts when he was governor… and supported or voted for similar federal plans in 1994, 2006, 2008 and 2009. In fact, Mitt Romney was the pioneer of the dreaded “personal mandate” which compels individuals to purchase health insurance and which is so universally hated by conservatives. In support of his personal mandate, Romney once said,

I think there are a number of features in the Massachusetts plan that could inform Washington on ways to improve health care for all Americans. The fact that we were able to get people insured without a government option is a model I think they can learn from.”

Ouch! That is surely going to leave a mark!

Certainly, those examples alone prove that Mitt Romney has the ability to flip-flop on issues more than any other candidate in memory, but he is not finished. This past year Romney has been crisscrossing the nation campaigning and fundraising. At most every speaking appearance, he has criticized President Obama by saying,

“When he took office, the economy was in recession. He made it worse. And he made it last longer.”

Romney has also repeatedly said,

“Today’s unemployment numbers show that we are going backwards, and that is the wrong direction for America. President Obama’s policies made the recession worse and as a result more people are out of work. These unemployment numbers should not be viewed as just statistics — these are real families facing significant economic peril because President Obama has failed to pull us out of this economic downturn. Americans deserve a president who will make job creation his number one priority.”

As reported in The Washington Post, the Associated Press (AP) performed a fact-check on those statements and proved them both to be false. The economy is now growing (and not shrinking like it was in 2009), the Dow is climbing (and no longer in a free-fall like it was in 2009), and the unemployment rate is down a full percentage point from where it was in October 2009.

When confronted with the reality that the economy has improved since Obama has been in office, Romney flip-flopped and claimed that he never said otherwise. He matter of factly told NBC producer Sue Kroll,

“I didn’t say that things are worse.”

That was Mitt Romney’s first flip-flop of July 2011, but he wasn’t finished. Back on May 16th, with great fanfare, Mitt Romney announced that he “raised $10.25 million” at a one-day phone-a-thon in Las Vegas. There is no denying that $10 million is a lot of money to raise in only a single day. Problem is, it never happened. When the Romney campaign unofficially released its numbers for fundraising in the 2nd Quarter on July 1st it revealed that the campaign only raised less than $20 million for the entire quarter. That begged the question; if the campaign allegedly raised over $10 million in a single day, how could it raise less than that amount during the entire 90 other days in that quarter? ThinkProgress.org reports, as it turns out, the campaign wasn’t telling the truth. Yesterday, the Los Angeles Times revealed Romney’s “sleight of hand“:

“The former Massachusetts governor’s campaign told reporters in May that he had raised $10 million in a one-day phone-a-thon in Las Vegas. But the amount actually represented pledges gathered earlier and tallied that day, not just funds actually taken in by the campaign.”

ThinkProgress.org said, “So the campaign not only didn’t raise $10 million in one day, they didn’t even collect $10 million dollars in pledges in one day. Instead, they ‘tallied’ pledges they received ‘earlier’. The Romney campaign purposely misled the press and the public for their own political advantage.”

There it is, flip-flop number two for the month and this is only July 2nd. Mitt(Wit) Romney has no less than 29 more days this month to add to his collection of flip-flops. Before summer’s end he will have more flip-flops than a teen-aged girl.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZk_HnE-cdU

IS IT “YES” OR IS IT ”NO”?

 (sung to The Clash song “Should I Stay Or Should I Go”)

Romney you’ve got to let us know
Is it “yes” or is it “no”?
Change positions all the time
You know we think you’ve lost your mind
Please Mitt Romney let us know
Is it “yes” or is it “no”?

It’s always tease, tease, tease
Just make your mind-up would you please
You were pro-choice but you went back
And your health plan you now attack
So come on Mitt let us know
Is it “yes” or is it “no”?

Is it “yes” or is it “no” now?
Is it “yes” or is it “no” now?
Mitt you know that you’re in trouble
Cuz your positions more than double
So come on Mitt let us know!

Your indecision’s bugging me
(weird double-talk)
What is  your gun right policy?
(more weird double-talk)
What do you think of amnesty?
(even more weird double-talk)
We just know that you’re really shifty
(yes, even more weird double-talk)
So Mitt Romney you know
(can you believe it, even more weird double-talk)
You should cool it or you should blow!
(here we go again)

Split!

Is it “yes” or is it “no” now?
Is it “yes” or is it “no” now?
Mitt you know that you’re in trouble
Cuz your positions more than double
So come on Mitt let us know
Is it “yes” or is it “no”?

Is it “yes” or is it “no” now?
Mitt you know that you’re in trouble
Cuz your positions more than double
So come on Mitt let us know
Is it “yes” or is it “no”?

The Boston Herald (Republican) Trashes Both Palin And Bachmann

The newspaper of record in Boston, MA is, of course, The Boston Globe. Indeed, most people around the nation do not even realize that Boston also has a second daily because it is the Globe which wins most all of the national awards.

There is however, a second newspaper in Beantown. It is the little known Boston Herald. The Herald does not have much of a circulation and it is the same type of propaganda arm for the Republican Party that Fox News is to the GOP on the airwaves. It is a tabloid paper which is more like the National Enquirer than The Washington Post. Think of the Herald as a low-rent Daily News with more interest in a catchy (though often misleading) headline than with factual and substantive reporting.

Despite its uber-conservtive bent however, sometimes even the The Boston Herald gets it right. Today is one of those days. Columnist Margery Eagan (who is also a talk radio host) did an excellent job of writing a spot-on comparison of Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman. In short, she opines that the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska is a low-rent version of the present three term Rep. and GOP Presidential candidate from Minnesota. But don’t take my word for it, here is the article. If you do not mind, I am also asking my readers to click on the link to the Herald article here so that the paper and Ms. Eagan get the credit they deserve for this wonderful piece. You will also enjoy reading the hilarious comments from the Herald’s conservative readers.

Here we go. Please enjoy.

Michele Bachmann eclipses Palin, but both clueless

“Michele Bachmann just told the Herald that she’s no Sarah Palin clone.
She’s right.
“When Sarah Palin looks at Michele Bachmann she must feel the way the Jonas Brothers feel about Justin Bieber,” said blogger Andy Borowitz.
Bachmann’s leaving Mama Grizzly behind.Bachmann is older yet just as gorgeous. (Sarah’s 47 and Bachmann’s an inspiring 55).Bachmann really gets your attention. (She was the first to link the children’s classic “The Lion King” to homosexual brainwashing).Palin’s daughter, Bristol, who recently underwent what appears to be a head transplant, says Bachmann copies her mother’s style. But beyond Tea Party politics, the only common ground I’ve seen is their nonstop goofs about the Founding Fathers, the American Revolution and the Constitution — what both women claim as the bedrock of their politics.A partial list: Sarah, as we know, believes Paul Revere’s ride was about warning the British, not the colonists. She said the Founding Fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance (its earliest version didn’t appear until 1892) and based the Constitution on the Bible and the Ten Commandments (big, big whoops).On a lighter note, Sarah gave us the “words” refudiate, misunderestimate, squirmish (what she says we’re up to in Libya) and, lest we forget, “wee-wee’d up.”Michele just mixed up American icon John Wayne with psycho killer John Wayne Gacy. More worrisome, she said the shot heard ’round the world was fired in New Hampshire, not Massachusetts; and that John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father (he was 8 when the Declaration of Independence was signed). She also insisted the Founding Fathers ended slavery, though several were slave owners themselves and dead long before the Civil War.On an even more disturbing note, PolitiFact.com, which checks politicians’ claims, just checked some of Bachmann’s recent campaign announcements and found one true statement, six half-true statements and 16 that nobody could quite figure out.

It’s not fair, but female politicians still have to work harder to be taken seriously. It’s also true that the mainstream media are kinder to liberals who goof. That’s why Barack Obama could claim he campaigned in 57 states without Fox News’ Chris Wallace asking whether he is “flake,” as Wallace just did with Bachmann.

But it’s also true that you shouldn’t be clueless about the basics if you’re running for Leader of the Free World.

Had Sarah Palin studied more and tweeted less since 2008, she might be a serious presidential contender today. That’s a lesson Bachmann, who’s still contending, should take to heart.”

Well said Ms. Eagan. Well said.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Two Of Us song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1Y3PlmwnRM

TWO OF US

(sung to the Beatles song “Two Of Us”)

Two of us dying our hair
Spending someone’s hard earned pay
You and me both conniving
Numbers diving in all recent polls
Our brains out on loan
Just like Fred Flintstone
We are two clones

Two of us freakin’ retards
Signing book sleeves at the mall
Sending Twitter dispatches
Try and catch us as we mount our thrones
We have empty domes
Just watch our mouths foam
We love to drone

We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads

Two of us spewing misquotes
Stooping so low, having fun
Never reading the papers
Scheming capers on the telephone
From our pricey homes
In the twilight zone
We are two clones

We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads

Bachmann is casting “No” votes
Palin showboats with her guns
Both of them are just fakers
Trouble makers when they’re not at home
Whereabouts unknown
They’ll reap what they’ve sown
They are two clones

They are just two clones

Yes sir

Nudist US Senator Scott Brown Speaks With Forked Tongue

Poor Scott Brown. The newly elected and clothing challenged US Senator from Massachusetts continues to put his foot in his mouth. Last Sunday he appeared on Face The Nation and said he plans to participate in a Republican filibuster of the financial regulatory rules as proposed by majority Democrats unless they are changed, but he has not offered any specific proposals. Then again, it is the modus operandi for the G.O.P. to demonize all things proposed by Democrats while failing to propose any specific alternatives of their own. Remember their non-existent health care reform legislation?  Moreover, it appears that Brown simply fabricated an estimate of jobs that would be lost in Massachusetts if the Democrats’ regulations were enacted.

The Boston Globe reports that Brown said that his weekend prediction on national TV Sunday that tightening Wall Street rules would kill 25,000 to 35,000 jobs in Massachusetts was “based on my speaking with industry leaders’’ in recent weeks, but he did not cite any specific analysis. A representative of Brown’s office said that Brown was given the estimate by the chief executive of MassMutual, a large insurance company headquartered in Springfield.

The Boston Globe revealed however, that,

MassMutual officials said Sunday, and again yesterday, that they did not give Brown any firm estimates of projected job losses in the Bay State. The company said it warned of unspecified job losses in the future and provided him with estimates — dramatically inflated estimates, the company acknowledged yesterday — of jobs lost thus far in the current recession. MassMutual officials said they had overcounted the losses in a way that nearly doubled the impact.

Peter Morici, a professor at the University of Maryland and former director of the Office of Economics at the US International Trade Commission was quoted as saying,

I don’t see it either creating or destroying very many jobs, certainly not in numbers that are quantifiable. I’m no fan of this legislation. I kind of like Scott Brown. But . . . I don’t know where he comes up with numbers like that.

As usual, Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) summed up Brown’s allegation quite nicely. He said,

No one has argued to us this is going to be cutting jobs as an overall in the economy. I have no idea where that figure came from. I don’t think anybody does. It may have just been spewed out by the Icelandic volcano with some of the other debris.

Pressed by The Boston Globe to describe the source of his estimate, Brown said the figure was “based on my speaking with the industry leaders over the last month or so.’’ Brown aides then cited a study by the Business Roundtable — which largely opposes the current bill — estimating that a crackdown on a financial tool called over-the-counter derivatives would cause companies to be less profitable, resulting in 100,000 to 120,000 direct and indirect job cuts nationwide. The industry group did not provide any Massachusetts-specific figures however

Brown aides then said on Sunday that the figures were provided to him by Roger W. Crandell, the chief executive of Springfield-based MassMutual, during a meeting they had on Friday.

MassMutual officials initially said they provided Brown with no such estimate. Yesterday, company officials explained that they had given Brown an estimate of how many jobs have been lost in the Massachusetts financial sector since the recession — which they told him was about 33,000 jobs — and said the current legislation could further exacerbate the problem. They did not however, provide Brown with any figure or an analysis of job loss.

Senator Brown has now demonstrated that he will simply parrot the assertions of anybody that agrees with him without first checking the veracity of the allegation or the methodology of any analysis cited. Like his Republican brethren, Scott Brown has revealed that he will utilize unsubstantiated fear as a means to oppose Democratic party initiatives. Perhaps like Sarah Palin, he too should pursue employment as a reality television show host. Maybe something called Republican Fear Factor.

The Senator wears no clothes

It appears however, that once again Brown’s vote may be as meaningless as his 41st vote against health care reform which he never had the opportunity to cast. Democrats state that it is likely that they will be able to gain bipartisan support from at least one of the following Republican Senators:Collins (ME), Snowe (ME), Corker (TN) or Shelby (AL). A vote from any one of them will prevent Brown’s threatened filibuster. If that happens, Scott Brown’s tenure to date will have been meaningless. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

.

Scott Brown Declines Sarah Palin Tea-Bagging Offer

Whenever Lynnrockets gets to use the names Scott Brown and Sarah Palin in the same headline, it is a good day for the Democrats.

That having been said, the most newly elected US Senator from the “Party of No” has just said “No” to  Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska will be in Boston, Massachusetts tomorrow as one of the featured speakers at a Tea Party rally, but Scott Brown has refused her invitation to be tea-bagged. He dares not attend the event. Indeed, the headline in yesterday’s Boston Herald (the conservative tabloid rag which plays a distant second fiddle to Boston’s newspaper of record, The Boston Globe) blared, “Scott Brown Snubs Sarah Palin, Bags Tea Party Rally”.

Despite the fact that out of state money and support from the Tea Party played a significant role in the surprise election of the clothing challenged Brown in last January’s special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, the group and Palin are now too toxic to Brown’s 2012 bid for re-election in Blue Massachusetts. The Boston Herald quotes political analyst Lou DiNatale as saying,

You’re worried at a rally that there’s a sign, a statement, an incident that’s certifiably cuckoo occurs. To win re-election, Scott Brown floating to the right is a serious problem. And showing up at a Sarah Palin, Tea Party event is not the way to the middle.

No truer words have been spoken. The educationally challenged Palin continues to parade around the country inciting Tea-Baggers to “reload” in a clear reference to a call to arms. She has placed rifle-sight targets over the districts of Democratic Party politicians on a website and she has taken up the John Boehner (pronounced, Boner) mantra of referring to the Republican Party as the “Party of Hell No”. Her “fightin’ words” are clearly driving away the moderates and that is a constituency that Scott Brown needs in Massachusetts. The last thing Brown wants is a photo of him and Palin together. After-all, he has enough problems with that nude centerfold spread (see above and below).

The Herald report also reminded us however, that this is not the first time that Scott brown has snubbed Sarah Palin,

Shortly after his triumph, Brown denied receiving a congratulatory call from Palin, only to remember the exchange when pressed.

Now we must wonder how Palin and the Tea-Baggers will react. Sarah Palin never takes kindly to any kind of criticism and she is the de-facto leader of the Tea-Baggers. However, Scott Brown is the rising star of the Republican Party. Do Palin and the Tea-Baggers dare to work against Brown and thereby impair his chances of advancement within the party? Let’s hope so! Stay tuned for the Battle of the Celebrity Stars.

Joining Scott Brown in boycotting the Tea-Bagger event will be other prominent (If one can use the words prominent and Republican in the same sentence in MA) Massachusetts Republicans. Gubernatorial candidate Charles D. Baker and conservative congressional candidate, Jeffrey D. Perry will also find other things to do on Wednesday. Apparently, they also find Palin to be unpalatable.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Please Come To Boston song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBpTedlEFsY

PLEASE COME TO BOSTON

(sung to the Dave Loggins song “Please Come To Boston”)

Please come to Boston late this spring time
Bring all your Tea-Bagger friends
To spread your doom and gloom
Holding misspelled banners on the sidewalk
Sarah Palin will fly in on her witch’s broom
Please come to Boston
For the show
It’s a Tea Party

And we’ll say, “Hey, Tea-Baggers,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the first Tea Party

Please come to Boston for a big brawl
Your heads shoved up in your asses so far
That they can’t be found.
Sarah Palin will bring the flames for fannin’
But Beantowners will bury her and not in hallowed ground.
Please come to Boston
Face your foes
In the city by the sea

And we’ll say, “Tea-Bagging boys,
Put your tea kettles down
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the real Tea Party

Now, Palin’s voice is a piercing sound
And no doubt, it’s never gonna stop
But ol’ Boston is a college town
With brains that she ain’t got
That goes for Van Flein too,
Her lawyer that she clings to.

Please come to Boston but not forever
Palin will provide a nice comedic fill
When her speech is finished we’ll throw her in the ocean
She’ll “go with the flow” like last July
She’ll look like an oil spill
Please come to Boston
Bring Plumber Joe
You can stay with Mitt Romney

And she said, Hey, Romney boy,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston sure ain’t my kind of town
They don’t like fools so
They won’t like no-one like me.
No, no I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.
I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.”

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 31

Just a few news bits that have been careening around the cosmos this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin and the Tea-Baggers teamed up in Searchlight, Nevada yesterday to rally against the re-election efforts of Democratic Senator Harry Reid. For his part, Reid was nonplussed. He said he was “happy so many people came to see my hometown of Searchlight and spend their out-of-state money especially in these tough economic times. Ultimately, though, this election will be decided by Nevadans, not people from other states who parachute in for one day to have a tea party.”

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is teaming up once again with John McCain. No, they have not announced that they will once again be running for the nation’s top office. This time Palin is campaigning for McCain in his bid for re-election to the Senate. This proves that John McCain is clinically insane. No sane person who was drowning would ask for someone to throw him an anchor.

BREAKING NEWS: TeaParty.org founder Dale Robertson brandished a sign with the (misspelled) word “niggar.” Listen, Tea-Baggers, if you insist upon being racists, at least be literate racists.

THIS JUST IN: What is it with Republicans and their obsession with having sex with animals? Sen. John McCain’s (R-Ariz.) primary challenger, former Arizona congressman J.D. Hayworth, warned this past weekend that the same-sex marriage decision handed down by the Massachusetts Supreme Court is so loose in its logic and wording that it could lead to a man marrying his horse.

BREAKING NEWS: A recent Harris Poll reveals that 14 percent of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist. When split by political party, 24 percent of Republicans and 6 percent of Democrats viewed the nation’s leader in this way. Ok, I can understand the ignorant Republicans, but who are these 6 percent of Democrats?

THIS JUST IN: The Federal Elections Commission is investigating moonbat crazy Michele Bachmann yet again. How is it that this self described former “Tax Lawyer” cannot seem to add?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “It’s About Time” features the mainstream media. This morning’s Boston Globe has finally printed an article which exposes the truth that Republicans want to hide. As we all know, since the passage of health care reform into law, every Republican has sought out the media outlet of his/her choice (generally Fox News) to rant about the unconstitutionality or outright illegality of the individual insurance mandate provision of the new law. The Globe reports the dirty secret however, that the G.O.P. was in favor of mandates before they were against them. Indeed, the whole idea of requiring individuals to purchase health insurance was floated by the uber-conservative Heritage Foundation in the 1990′s as a way to avoid a single payer system. The Globe also points out that two of the G.O.P.’s fiercest critics of the mandate, former Massachusetts Governor Mittwit Romney and recently elected nudist Senator Scott Brown, voted in favor of the mandate in MA and actually signed it into law back in 2006. The Boston Globe has revealed that the true basis for Republican opposition to health care reform is not the content of the law, but rather a blind obsession with opposing anything that the Obama administration hopes to accomplish regardless of merit. They have earned the moniker, “The Party of No”.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of The Boston Globe and the clothing challenged Scott Brown, have you heard the latest? In an attempt to rake in dwindling out of state donations to his campaign coffer, Brown has recently shown up on many Fox News telecasts as well as on any nationally syndicated or local right wing radio programs to proclaim that he will be challenged in his re-election bid in 2012 by MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. This is news to Rachel Maddow. When she heard the rumor, she immediately declared on her television show that she would not be running for office. She also appeared as a guest on both Ed Schultz‘s radio and television programs to confirm the same. End to the rumor? Nope, Scott Brown continued to insist that Massachusetts resident Maddow would be the Democratic challenger to his seat. In an effort to quash the rumor and expose Brown’s lying ways, Maddow took out a full page ad in Friday’s edition of The Boston Globe. The ad ( a copy of which can be seen here) was a duplicate of the personal letter that she mailed to Brown. The citizens of Massachusetts are finally learning something about the dark side of the person that they just elected to fill Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat. Let’s hope they kick him out in 2012 regardless of the absence of Rachel Maddow.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of  “Alaskans, I Love You , But…” features the Boston College men’s hockey team. The Boston Globe reports this morning,

When it comes to the big stage, Boston College has a veteran presence. The Eagles brought their experience, talent, determination, and winning pedigree to the Northeast Regional semifinals at the DCU Center (in Worcester, MA) yesterday against an inexperienced Alaska-Fairbanks team that traveled more than 4,000 miles to compete in its first NCAA Tournament.

The Nanooks (18-12-9) showed remarkable poise and grit but the Eagles had more scoring touch and escaped with a 3-1 victory.

BC (26-10-3) improved to 11-0 all time in the first round of the NCAAs and will face Yale, a 3-2 winner over North Dakota.

As a tribute to the BC icemen, here are the Dropkick Murphy’s performing the Boston College fight song, “For Boston”.


Just a little Sarah Palin dittie to start your day. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Born In The USA song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oVzHm_S0-A

BORN IN GOOD OLD AK

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song, “Born In The U.S.A.”)

Born in an Idaho town
When my parents looked at me they could only frown
My dad he had a job that he sure did hate
So he loaded up the truck and we left the state

I wish I was…

(chorus)
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

We moved to the town of Wasilla
A bland place sort of like vanilla
I became a man killer
A temperament like Godzilla

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I was soon running for the VP
John McCain said I was so “mavericky”
He bought me shoes and a real fine dress
Then he kicked me off the “Straight Talk Express”

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK

I went back to state 49
Acted as if the whole place was mine
I did bitch, I did whine
Committed more than one ethics crime
I did the acts but I won’t serve the time

Up on the North Slope where the oil does flow
I cut some deals oughta make me some dough
Then I think I’ll write a book
You can make a lot of dough when you’re a crook

Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
Born in good old AK
I’m a lipstick wearin’ pig in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
I’m a pocket hockey momma in the U.S.A.
Born in good old AK
(fading)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 25 (and a Plea For Help)

Just a few noteworthy political meteorites and comments thereon that have been careening around the galaxy this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: It was announced on Friday that Republican, John Shadegg of Arizona will retire from the U.S. House of Representatives. Shadegg is the latest in a string of representatives and senators to announce that they plan to vacate their seats. It is yet to be seen whether the media will characterize Shadegg’s retirement as a severe blow to Republican election efforts in 2010. That is precisely what they said about Democrats earlier in the month however, when two Democratic senators announced their retirement. It would appear that Republicans are in the most trouble because fifteen of their House members are retiring (compared to eleven Democrats) along with six of their senators (compared to two Democrats). Final score: Republican vacancies = 21, Democratic party vacancies = 13.

THIS JUST IN: The lunatic accused of plotting to kill then Senator Barack Obama (along with several other Black Americans) in September 2008, has pleaded guilty and faces a ten year prison sentence. Paul Schlesselman of Arkansas entered a guilty plea agreement with federal prosecutors on Thursday. This serves as a reminder that racism is still alive and well in this country.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of  “And If You Believe That One, I’ve Got Some Florida Swampland I’d Like To Sell” features a Republican candidate for Governor of Ohio who has announced that he is a Tea-Bagger. In fact, John Kaisch claims to have been the very first Tea-Bagger. Last week he said,

I’ve been all over the state, including with our friends in the Tea Party movement. I think I was in the Tea Party before there was a Tea Party.

Yikes! He is willing to admit to that? Upon closer inspection however, it appears that Kaisch is simply pulling the wool over the eyes of the ever-ignorant Tea-Baggers. Indeed, he is a former Lehman Brothers investment banker and the investment bankers are a target of the Tea-Baggers because of the bank bailouts. Looks like we have a real match made in Heaven.

THIS JUST IN: Republican Newt “The Beaute” Gingrich has announced that he might seek the presidency in 2012. He said, “I think I’m probably on a list of seven or eight possible candidates at this stage”. CNN reports,

Gingrich’s comments come days after organizers of The Southern Republican Leadership Conference – a high-profile gathering of party activists considered to be an initial venue for potential GOP presidential candidates – announced the former House Speaker will be among the list of Republican speakers. Palin and Pawlenty are also expected to attend the event.

Gingrich also recently filed government paperwork to form a political action committee, named American Solutions PAC, according to Federal Election Commission records. The forming of a political action committee will allow Gingrich to raise cash and donate the money to federal and state candidates across the country. It could also be a sign that Gingrich is serious about running for the White House in 2012.

The last time we heard from the disgraced former House Speaker was when he announced last December that he would launch a Spanish language conservative web magazine to bring Latinos within the conservative Republican fold. So far, that stunt has not been successful for obvious reasons. Gingrich is a wife-cheating, anti-immigration racist. Let’s hope his presidential bid is just as unsuccessful.

BREAKING NEWS: This past week’s blockbuster television moment did not appear on the season premiere of the Republican pornshow known as Jack Bauer’s 24.  It happened on the Glenn Beck Show and should have been titled, Couric: The Sequel. It was riveting television when guest Sarah Palin was asked by Glenn Beck who her favorite founding father was and Palin drew a blank just as she had when Couric asked her what newspapers she read. It was just as obvious on Beck’s show as it was with Couric, that Palin simply had no idea what to answer. She could not name a newspaper or magazine for Couric and she could not name a founding father for Beck. After much stammering, she finally came up with George Washington (probably only because Beck had mentioned him 1 minute earlier) although he had little to no effect on the formation of our nation’s principles or system of government. here is a transcript of the embarrassing conversation:

PALIN: That is because we have a fallen world. And mankind is fallen and we can never put — I don’t believe that we were created to be able to put our faith wholly, solely except for our spouse in another person. Certainly not in a politician. I don’t believe that except, you know, looking back on our founding fathers and seeing the sincerity there and the genuine love that they had of the country, I don’t think in recent days we can find too many of those politicians.

BECK: That’s why we got to stop looking and start taking from the barrel and start picking from the tree. Who is your favorite founder?

PALIN: You know, well, all of them (editor’s note: Gee, sound familiar?) because they came collectively together with so much diverse .

BECK: Bull crap. Who is your favorite?

PALIN: So much diverse opinion and so much diversity in terms of belief, but collectively they came together to form this union.

(CROSSTALK)

PALIN: No, and they were led by, of course, George Washington, so he’s got to rise to the top. Washington was the consummate statesman. He serves, he returned power to the people. He didn’t want to be a king. He returned power to the people. Then he went back to Mount Vernon, he went back to his farm. He was almost reluctant to serve as president, too. And that is who you need to find to serve in government, in a bureaucracy.

Those who you know will serve for the right reasons because they’re reluctant to get out there and seek a limelight and seek power. They’re doing it for people. That was George Washington.

Quite simply, Sarah Palin is an uneducated buffoon.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Right-Wing Conservatives Who Deserve To Burn In Hell” features Pat Robertson and c0-stars Rush Limbaugh. Robertson said that Haiti was struck by an earthquake that killed thousands and left millions to clinging to existence because the victims’ forefathers had made a pact with the Devil. Rush Limbaugh in turn, actually discouraged his listeners from contributing to relief for Haiti and pounded Obama for exploiting the tragedy in order to present himself as a humanitarian. Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Absolutely, Unbelievably Stupid Blog Reader Comments” comes courtesy of The Political Carnival. In response to a post about the Haitian earthquake tragedy, a reader said this,

Anonymous said…
I pay taxes to run my government, not to “AID” other countries.

And I don’t recall when a poor country actually provided the U.S with anything when disaster struck the U.S

January 14, 2010 2:45 PM

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “The Lying Liar That Keeps On Lying” features Sarah Palin. While continuing to make the rounds as a Fox News guest host last week, she appeared on Hannity and defended her “death panels” lie to the point of stating that they still exist in health care reform legislation. here is the transcript:

Hannity: You stand by those comments because you think it still exists in the bill.

Palin: I do. It’s a commission, it’s bureaucracy, it’s bureaucrats who will ration care if the bill goes through as Obama wants it to go through. Yes — it’s modeled, in essence, after a British system that does have people to decide whether, based on your quality of life, your age, whether you’re gonna deserve health-care coverage or not — that’s what’s gonna happen in America if this health-care bill isn’t stopped, and it needs to be stopped soon, and that’s why the people of this land can’t give up in demanding that their voice be heard, demanding that the White House understand that this is a representative form of government, we do expect that the will of the people is listened to and adhered to and implemented via our representatives, who we elect.

Stupid is as stupid does.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Matches Made In Heaven” features Sarah Palin and the NASCAR crowd. Conservatives4Palin announced yesterday that plans are in the works for the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska to appear in some unspecified capacity at the Daytona 500 in February. Palin has already purchased her supply of chewing tobacco and Busch beer. Perhaps she will be baring her breasts while filming one of those Danica Patrick GoDaddy.com ads.

THIS JUST IN: The camaigning for the Massachusetts special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s senate seat is coming down to the wire. Yesterday, former President Bill Clinton came first to Boston and then to the central part of the state to stump for the Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley. He also recorded a robo-call for wide distribution which goes like this:

Hello, this is Bill Clinton.

I’m calling to urge you to get out and vote for Martha Coakley on Tuesday January 19.

This election is critical, not just for Massachusetts but for our entire country. The Republicans are spending millions of dollars to win Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat and they’re telling you that they’ve got a better economic plan, when all they want is to bring back President Bush’s economic policies. They’re telling you they’ve got a health care plan, when all they want is to leave the health insurance companies in control of America’s health care and bankrupt the country.

So please, get out and vote for Martha Coakley on Tuesday Jan 19. I know her, she’s a good person, she’ll be a good senator.

The caring and concerned citizens of Massachusetts thank you, Mr. Clinton. Today is a lso a big campaign day however, as President Barack Obama comes to Boston for the same purpose.

BREAKING NEWS: Martha Coakley exposed the fact that her Republican opponent for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat fails to provide health insurance for his staff workers while the Democrat does provide those benefits. The Boston Globe reports that Coakley is saying the following in recent campaign stops:

We already knew that Scott Brown didn’t want to make health insurance more affordable for Massachusetts families and businesses. Now we learn that he won’t even make health insurance available for his own staff. If he won’t stand up for the people he employs, how could we ever trust him to stand up for us?

Tell it like it is, Martha. Tell it like it is.

THIS JUST IN: Watch Massachusetts Republican Senatorial candidate Scott Brown suggest that President Barack Obama was born out of wedlock.

Scott Brown is just another Birther-like conspiracy theorist that appears to have confused the Obamas with the Palins.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Guys That Belong In The Senate” features Massachusetts Republican Senatorial candidate Scott Brown. Yes folks, this is the guy that is running against Democrat Martha Coakley for the Ted Kennedy seat. He posed for this photo some years ago in Cosmopolitan magazine. Honestly, would he ever be taken seriously? I wonder why Sarah Palin does not characterize this photo as “porn”? Clearly, this is an example of, the emperor wears no clothes.

I can see my clothes from my house!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AND PLEA FOR HELP !!!

As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be or what state you might be from) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

Marthacoakley.com

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,

Lynnrockets

Ok, so on to today’s song parody. This is one of our favorite scathing Republican bashing tunes and explains why this blog exists. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs


Sarah Palin’s Black Friday Black Ops

Piper Palin spellchecks Sarah at book signing event.

The day after Thanksgiving is allegedly the busiest shopping day of the year as retailers discount goods in an attempt to jump-start the holiday shopping season. The day is known as “Black Friday” because it is the day when most retailers’ accounting books shift from the red to the black. This year’s Black Friday is also a day when Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska will be in Washington state for a weekend of hawking her ghost-written fictional memoir in the hope of raking in enough cash to extinguish all of her legal defense debt. Palin hopes that today is the day that her subservient supporters will buy enough books to shift her personal finances from the red to the black.

She has a good chance of achieving her goal. Palin’s supporters are primarily comprised of under-educated, rural, right-wing, religious zealots. These folks will only buy a book if its title is, “Bible” or if it is very easy to read with little words and lots of pictures. Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue fits the second category quite nicely. Consequently, she should sell a bunch of them which will then be gift-wrapped and given out as Christmas presents all across backwoods America.

The rest of the reading public may want to take a pass on delving into the Palin book. The critical reviews are not flattering. Today’s Boston Globe has an informative yet negative review which can be read here. Some of the more memorable quotes contained therein are as follows:

Even if one agrees with her premise that Team McCain was dealt a poor hand last year and made things worse by infighting and poor decision-making, it’s not at all clear that if they had followed Palin’s advice, the outcome would have been different. Given her poor grasp of many issues and her tendency to make verbal gaffes, it’s not surprising that John McCain’s staff members kept her on a short leash.

and

While readers get glimpses of her sunny side, it’s often eclipsed by her need to give verbal payback to Alaskan and national politicians who crossed her or didn’t take her seriously enough. Also, while her press coverage wasn’t always what she might have liked, it goes with the territory of playing in the political big leagues, and it would have been more helpful to her image if she had accepted it, rather than whine about it excessively. Though her media-bashing may play well among the conservative base, it might not be the best approach for snagging centrist voters who tend to be the people whose votes decide presidential elections.

and our favorite,

Palin also doesn’t help herself by having produced such a poorly written book. The narrative rambles, and there isn’t much self-reflection. One is reminded of Truman Capote’s comment about the works of Jack Kerouac: “This isn’t writing, it’s typing.’’ In addition, she should have looked ahead and devoted additional space to outlining her worldview.

Ouch!

In honor of Black Friday what better song could we parody than Steely Dan‘s “Black Friday”? please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Black Friday song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVQKiqCZ9No

PALIN’S BLACK FRIDAY

(sung to the Steely Dan song “Black Friday”)

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be on her book tour
Sarah Palin hopes “Going Rogue” is a great big score
When Black Friday comes
She’ll collect all the dough she’s owed
And before those lines thin out she’ll be on the road
When Black Friday comes it will be “me”, “me”, “me”
Cuz this is Sarah P.

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be at the Borders Books
Where all her supporters have no brains judging by their looks
But they will all be so pleased
They’ve paid their SarahPAC dues
Yet they have no idea that they’re just being used
When Black Friday comes they’ll pay Palin’s bills
You know they will

(musical interlude)

When Black Friday comes
Palin’s bus will be on the roll
Counting her book cash just thrills her big empty black soul
Even though her coins are shiny
Sarah’s demeanor is mostly whiney
She needs the cash to move away from the cold North Pole
When Black Friday comes
She’s gonna stake her claim

To fortune and great fame!

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