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Bachmann Tries To “Pray The Gay Questions Away”

For any of you loyal Rocketeers who did not happen to see “Meet The Press” yesterday, you are in for a special treat here at the Blast-Off today!

For one of the very few times since he has taken over the program following the untimely death of Tim Russert, David Gregory actually held a guest’s feet to the fire during an interview. Yesterday’s guest was Republican Presidential candidate and Tea Party favorite Michele Bachmann fresh-off her Ames (Iowa) Straw Poll victory. For the first several minutes, Gregory was his usual self in that he asked questions which Bachmann ducked and he did not thoroughly follow-up thereafter.

To be fair, Gregory did push back a little bit when Bachmann claimed that she was, what Republicans like to refer to as a “job creator”. He asked her to explain that assertion. Bachmann then said that she was an attorney at the IRS. Gregory quickly shot back that her position was not one which created jobs and that in fact, her particular job was one which was created by the federal government. Point-Gregory.

Gregory truly hit his stride however, when he questioned Bachmann about her own statements regarding gays. Rather than try to recreate the magic in print, let’s watch the actual interview:

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark, especially with gay and socially moderate voters throughout America. Not only did Michele Bachmann say that gays are “part of Satan”, but she made it clear that she would not appoint gays to any important positions within her administration or to judgeships if she were to be elected President. How do we know this? Because she said that any potential appointees must share her views. Since it is a certainty that no gays will share her view that they are “part of Satan”, it is also a certainty that none will be appointed to those positions.

Will Michele Bachmann dare to appear on “Meet The Press” again any time soon? Don’t count on it.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Newt Blingrich Gets The Boot (Again) !!!

Newt Gingrich’s days as a viable Republican Presidential candidate would appear to be finally over.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan to destroy Medicare was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” He caught so much flak from Republicans across the board that he felt compelled to apologize to the plan’s author, Rep. Paul Ryan (Not seen as a very “Presidential” move). Indeed, Gingrich went so far as to seemingly flip-flop (ala Mitt(wit) Romney) and endorse the plan. He then made a fool of himself by issuing threats to any Democrats that might be so bold to use Gingrich’s “actual words” against him in campaign ads. Gingrich looked more like a lost child than a serious candidate.

“Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering-Gate” was quickly followed by “Tiffany-Gate”. It was revealed that Gingrich had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company. To make matters worse, Tiffany had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Such lavish expenditures on luxury bling did not jibe well with Gingrich’s self-promoted title as a common-sense fiscal conservative. The ostentatious purchases also did not sit well with those hard-working blue-collar conservative members of the middle-class with whom Gingrich claimed an alliance. The financially struggling conservative masses could no longer be counted upon to vote for this Donald Trump wannabe.

Next, Gingrich was hit with “Abandon Ship-Gate” as virtually his entire campaign staff abruptly quit. Like so many rats fleeing a sinking ship, his press secretary Rick Tyler, campaign manager Rob Johnson, senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney as well as 12 other high-ranking staffers announced that they had had enough with their recalcitrant boss. Gingrich was left with the bare bones of a staff but he vowed to re-invigorate his campaign and carry on.

Problem was, Newt Gingrich did not expect to suddenly become embroiled in “Hands In The Cookie Jar-Gate”. Last week it was revealed by ABC News that “a non-profit charity founded by Newt Gingrich to promote freedom, faith and free enterprise also served as another avenue to promote Gingrich’s political views, and came dangerously close, some experts say, to crossing a bright line that is supposed to separate tax-exempt charitable work from both the political process and such profit-making enterprises as books and DVDs. The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich’s for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich’s books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker’s entities, Gingrich Productions. “

When questioned about the apparent conflict of interest, Gingrich told an ABC reporter, “I’m not concerned about that. The American people aren’t concerned about that. Try covering the speech.” Unfortunately for Newt however, the American people were concerned about “that”. You see, his political action committee was only able to raise a miniscule $ 53,000.00 in 3 months. The few donors remaining allegedly consisted of energy companies that are some of the nation’s worst polluters and a Dallas strip club owner who Gingrich once promoted as the “entrepreneur of the year”.

So, when fundraising gets tough, what happens? “Abandon Ship-Gate II” of course. CNN reported yesterday that Gingrich’s top 2 fundraisers suddenly quit. Fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have now joined the aforementioned 16 other staffers to abandon the S.S. Gingrich. The big question is now, “Who (if anyone) is left on board?”

But wait! There’s more! It was also revealed yesterday that we now have “Tiffany-Gate II”. CNN reports that Gingrich had an even larger second line of credit at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store. Gingrich’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing will show he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account revealed last month. How is that for a double-dose of Gingrich fiscal conservatism?

It took only one so-called “Gate” to bring down GOP President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon. Can Gingrich survive 6 and counting? Don’t bet on it. Remember, Newt Gingrich also has an ugly political and personal history. He is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House who was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.

In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Newt Gets The Boot!

Rats fleeing the S.S. Gingrich

The AP is reporting that Newt Gingrich’s campaign manager and numerous other key aides have resigned together. Gingrich press spokesman Rick Tyler told The Associated Press that he’s resigned along with campaign manager Rob Johnson, as well as senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney. Also quitting were early primary state key consultants Katon Dwason in South Carolina and Craig Schoenfeld in Iowa.

Polico.com reports that one official said the last straw came when Gingrich went forward with taking a long-planned cruise with his wife last week in the Greek isles.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” It was then revelaed that he had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company which had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Politico.com states that after his bumpy start, rumors began to circulate in the political community the former House speaker’s days as a candidate were numbered. The collective decision by his high command to quit makes it likely that his demise will be hastened.

This is a crushing blow to the thrice-married bling-buying Republican’s hopes for a presidential nomination. So long Newt, we hardly knew ye.

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Tea Party Turning Tepid?

Is the Tea Party nothing more than a passing fad? Is the group of misinformed, angry, racist illiterates in the process of evaporating? Well, at least one Tea-Bagger survivor believes so.

CNN reports that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is predicting the demise of the Tea Party movement. “The Tea Party was born because of the economy,” Reid said in an interview on NBC‘s “Meet the Press” set to air Sunday. “The economy is probably the worst it’s ever been except for maybe the great depression. The Tea Party will disappear as soon as the economy gets better and the economy’s getting better all the time.”

Harry Reid of course, speaks from experience. You will remember that the Nevada Democrat won reelection in November against Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle, a Tea Party-backed Republican candidate. Let’s hope that his prediction is correct. Politics can be dirty enough without the injection of a bunch of old, white, gun-toting, costumed vigilantes. Honestly, how can anyone that runs around dressed like George Washington be taken seriously?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ F-me pumps while just winking her eyes

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Un-American Rand

With all the recent talk about the two whack-job “Mama-Grizzlies”, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell and Sharron “Obtuse” Angle, many people have forgotten that Sarah Palin also endorsed the moonbat-crazy “Papa-Grizzly”, Rand Paul. This guy however, is just as unhinged and radically right-wing as the aforementioned female Teapublicans.

You might recall that Paul is the guy that appeared on national television and stated that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially discriminate. He also said that he disagrees with the prohibition against such racial discrimination as delineated in the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Paul was so surprised by the near-universal condemnation of his position, that the following week he became the first politician in history to abruptly cancel his scheduled appearance on the Sunday morning Meet The Press television program. Yet, his endorsement of racial discrimination is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Rand Paul’s radical beliefs and contradictory statements.

Rand Paul also wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Additionally, Paul has said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Furthermore, Paul has declared that elderly, fixed-income Medicare recipients should be subjected to a $ 2,000.00 deductible before receiving benefits. He now denies that he has ever advocated such a position, but his Democratic opponent in the Kentucky Senate race, Jack Conway has exposed Paul’s dishonesty in this recent ad.

Rand Paul also has a questionable personal life history. Although he professes to be a devout christian, while a student at Baylor University, Paul belonged to a secret society known as the NoZe Brotherhood. The group’s work often had a specifically anti-Christian tone, as it made fun of the Baptist college’s faith-based orientation and called the Holy Bible “a hoax”. Also while at Baylor, Rand Paul allegedly kidnapped a fellow student, tried to force her to take bong hits, and demanded that she participate in a bizarre ritual involving his God, which he referred to as “Aqua Buddha.”

Crazy stuff, but Rand Paul has also been deceptive as an adult. On June 14, 2010 the Louisville Courier-Journal reported that Paul, who described himself as a “board-certified” ophthalmologist, was not actively certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is currently certified by the National Board of Ophthalmology, but that is merely a rival organization founded by Paul himself in 1999 with Paul as president and his wife as vice-president. The National Board of Ophthalmology’s mailing address is a UPS Store in Bowling Green, Kentucky; the organization lacks a website and is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS).

Let’s hope that sober Kentuckians take a long look at Rand Paul and ask themselves if this is the type of person that they want representing them in the U.S. Senate. if they do, the answer will be a resounding, “NO”. Do the right thing Kentuckians, vote for Democrat Jack Conway on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

We’re An American Band song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yOayjt2tGs

UN-AMERICAN RAND

(sung to the Grand Funk Railroad song “We’re An American Band”)

Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Bowling Green, he was in a haze
Dead-beat con-man was doing his act
Rand Paul is our foe and that’s a natural fact

Had a fight with Reverend King
Doesn’t like the 14th Amendment thing
Likes blacks when they’re out of sight
But not at the lunch counter sitting to his right

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

Hates honest Christians and Obama
Hating Medicare but that’s how he earns dough
He is no good, too far right and he’s Tea Party blight
Rand Paul hurls invectives to stir up a fight

Rand Paul is crazy, he should be banned
He seems to live in a fantasy land
Paul is just a crude Tea Party pawn
But he’s succeeding to bring that party down

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Don’t know a verb from a noun
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Shuns a big smile for a frown
He’s un-American Rand

($ 2,000.00 Medicare deductible break)

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
He don’t know up from down
Let’s kick this bum outta town
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)

G.O.P. Is The Party Of “No” (Solutions, Plans, Ideas etc.)

Everyone loves to watch a solid smackdown now and again. That is exactly what Meet The Press‘ usually milquetoast David Gregory gave to Republicans John Cornyn and Pete Sessions last Sunday. He asked both members of the G.O.P. to provide specific measures by which Republicans would address our nations deficit and other recessionary problems. Neither Cornyn nor Sessions could provide any specific actions that the G.O.P. would take. Gregory did not let them get away with their evasion. He kept repeating his question until it was evident that neither idiot could provide a specific answer. The best example of Republican ineptitude was revealed when John Cornym stated that the G.O.P. could not detail its specific actions without help from the Democratic Presidential Debt Commission. In other words, he said that the Republicans could not come up with any solutions of their own without first hearing the recomendations of President Obama’s commission. Priceless!

But, a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s roll the tape…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Nude Dude, Scottie Brown

Republican Senator Scott Brown relaxes in his office.

Like Sarah Palin, newly elected Republican Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown seems to have a knack for injecting himself into every national news cycle despite the fact that he has had absolutely no effect on any policy or legislation since he took office in January. Indeed, the Tea Party’s newest poster child has only cast one Senate vote that has had any impact at all. That vote, to the dismay of conservatives, Republicans and Tea-Baggers all, was the vote he cast in favor of one of the Democratic majority’s job bills which in turn allowed Democrats to label the law as bipartisan.

“Mr. 41″ campaigned solely on the issue that he “would not be the 60th vote in favor of health care reform, but the 41st vote against it”. Unfortunately for Brown, he was outmaneuvered by the Democrats and he never had the opportunity to cast that 41st vote. This week the G.O.P. is using the clothing challenged Brown as the key person in their “Repeal and Replace” campaign against the recently enacted health care reform law. Brown’s Utopian dream is to repeal the enacted law and replace it with Republican alternatives such as cross-state insurance purchases and massive tort reform.

The “Repeal and Replace” plan is a pipe dream at best, however. In order to effectuate such a plan, the Republicans would require massive majorities in both the House and Senate so as to pass their repeal. Remember, the G.O.P. has stated publicly while obstructing progress, that the new norm is to have 60 votes to pass legislation in the Senate. That would mean that they would have to pick up 19 Senate seats in the 2010 midterm elections in order to avoid the Democratic party filibuster. They are sure to pick up seats, but not 19. Moreover, even if they managed to acquire a 60 seat Senate majority, their repeal law would surely be vetoed by President Obama. Thereafter, in order to override the veto, the Republicans would require 67 Senate votes. So G.O.P. as Tony Soprano would say, “Fagetta Bout it”.

Getting back to Scott Brown, it was interesting to note that his name surfaced on both Face The Nation and Meet The Press on Easter Sunday morn. On both shows he was touted as the new star of the Republican/Tea-Party. In each instance he was also deemed as surpassing Sarah Palin in terms of both credibility and effectiveness. Palin was denigrated by the pundits for both her lack of standing inasmuch as she holds no elective office and for a lack of seriousness resulting from her new reality show status. Indeed, Sarah Palin has morphed into exactly the type of Paris Hilton/Britney Spears no-substance, lightweight celebrity that she and John McCain once accused Barack Obama of being. The pundits all agreed however, that it would not be surprising to see Scott Brown as the next Republican nominee for Vice President. Let’s hope he is. The Democrats and bloggers would have a blast repeatedly posting the now infamous naked centerfold spread.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooq3JbWbdjk

NUDE, DUDE, SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Jim Croce song “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”)

Well its nuthin’ like Chicago
We’re talkin’ ‘bout Boston Town
And if you like men bare
You’re gonna love it there
With Senator Scottie Brown

Now Scottie’s talkin’ double
He loved the Mass. health reform law
He voted for it like the flip-flopping Guvnor
Yet now he has declared war

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Now Scottie he’s in NAMBLA
And he likes to strip his clothes
And he shows the world his private things
Most everywhere he goes
His senate seat is just a rental
Leased by the Tea Party crew
He better have some fun cuz he’s soon to be done
Massachusetts is too damn Blue

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Well Friday ‘bout a week ago
Scottie was not nice
He just shouted near and far
About all the horrors
Of health care and the price
Well he blasted dear Obama
That’s when Brown’s trouble began
Scottie Brown learned a lesson
‘Bout messin’ with the likes of a smarter man

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

You see, Scott Brown needs enlightening
He don’t give a damn ‘bout the poor
Scottie Brown’s big mouth should be muzzled
As he’s voted off of the floor

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Yeah, on the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Run Sarah, Run !!!

Palin - Gump 2012

Sarah Palin is not the type to disappoint. When the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska gave up on her constiuents and walked away from her job last July, we all worried that we would lose our favorite source of entertainment and target of witty criticism. There was no need to worry however, because she announced that her memoir would soon be released and that there would be a nationwide small hamlet book tour. She delivered in true Palin fashion. The book was a non-fact checked, hilariously poorly written work of fiction and the bus tour turned into a secret private jet tour that nonetheless drew a multitude of bloodthirsty shut-ins into the light of day for all to marvel at. A freak show if you will.

In addition to the book, she also informed the world that her plans were to embark as a featured speaker on the lecture circuit. As a warm-up for this new vocation, she flew off to Hong Kong so as to address a group of investors. The reviews were not kind. Consequently, the demand for her services dwindled to the point where she was forced to accept gigs at such spectacular forums as the Bowling Convention and the Wine and Alcohol Wholesalers’ Convention. imagine the fun we will have when the transcripts of those speeches become public?

She then accepted a position as a guest host on the Fox News network. She promptly began to appear on such shows as Hannity, The O’Reilly Factor and The Glenn Beck Show. Needless to say, she fit right in with the Fox menagerie. She was at ease in the comfortable environment of friends and candidly answered such hard hitting questions as, “What is your favorite color?” and “Does it snow a lot up where you live?”. We are sure to have much more fun as she appears regularly on these programs.

Finally, this weekend she was the keynote speaker at the first Tea-Bagging Convention in Nashville. Of course other than Terrible Tom Tancredo, she was just about the only speaker at the event as the result of multiple cancellations. But Sarah Palin came through in spades. During the convention she taped a segment with Fox News in which she announced that she would consider a run for president in 2012 if the situation was right for her family and the nation. Our prayers have almost been answered. CNN reports that she said she would run,

…if I believed that that is the right thing to do for our country and for the Palin family. I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country. I won’t close the door that perhaps could be open for me in the future.

Just imagine all the side splitting laughs we will enjoy as she spars with the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty in Republican primary debates. “Please give me a moment Mr. Romney as a I consult the crib notes on my hand”! “Mr. Gingrich, do you mind if I call you ‘Cute Newt’”? The possibilities are endless. Of course she will also be required to appear on serious Sunday morning news programs such as Face The Nation and Meet The Press. We will all enjoy looking at the puzzled visages of the hosts as she tosses up one of her signature word salads. Not to mention, a long presidential run will also afford Levi Johnston the opportunity to have a book tour of his own as well as the chance to appear on even more gossip minded television shows.

RUN SARAH, RUN !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 27

Just a few noteworthy political meteorites and comments thereon that have been careening around the galaxy this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: It was refreshing to see President Barack Obama venture into the enemy territory of the House Republicans’ Retreat in Baltimore where he delivered a cogent and fact based dissertation of the state of the economy; his administrations policies to address the economy; the Republicans’ lack of support for any of those policies and the Republicans’ lack of any policy proposals of their own (other than to extend the Bush tax cuts to the wealthiest 1% of Americans). Obama then proceeded to allow questions from the Republican attendees which he also answered in a thoroughly fact based manner. He swatted boilerplate Republican talking points like flies and then challenged Republican and non-partisan fact checking organizations to prove him wrong. Republicans, oh Republicans, is there anyone out there? We are still waiting….

THIS JUST IN: Did we mention that the Obama smackdown of Republicans was televised? What, we didn’t? Well, please take a look at Luke Russert describing to the nation how the televised event was an embarrassment to Republicans and how some Republicans admitted as such. By the way, when are the brass at Meet The Press going to wake up and replace the ineffectual Dick Gregory with Tim Russert’s more than capable son?

BREAKING NEWS: Remember all the doom and gloom about the passage of a health care reform bill after the Massachusetts Senate election of the nudist Republican, Scott Brown? The loss of the 60 vote Democratic party super majority was alleged to be the death knell to the passage of any such legislation. Of course, that was not the truth. After all, the bill could either be passed by means of the reconciliation process that requires only 51 votes or the House could adopt the Senate bill, as is, and it could be passed with only 51 votes. Well, leave it to the good folks over at the Huffington Post to inform us that there is even a more simple way to pass health care reform with only 51 votes, and that is to simply change the Senate rule regarding filibusters. According to the Constitution, as affirmed by the U. S. Supreme Court, the Senate can change its rules at any time by a simple majority vote. Here is the finding from U.S. v. Ballin, 144 U.S. 1 (1892):

… The constitution empowers each house to determine its rules of proceedings … It is no objection to the validity of a rule that a different one has been prescribed and in force for a length of time. The power to make rules is not one which once exercised is exhausted. It is a continuous power, always subject to be exercised by the house, and, within the limitations suggested, absolute and beyond the challenge of any other body or tribunal.
The constitution provides that ‘a majority of each [house] shall constitute a quorum to do business.’ In other words, when a majority are present the house is in a position to do business. Its capacity to transact business is then established, created by the mere presence of a majority, and does not depend upon the disposition or assent or action of any single [144 U.S. 1, 6] member or fraction of the majority present. All that the constitution requires is the presence of a majority, and when that majority are present the power of the house arises.

Now get out there and inform your senators of this mechanism and let’s get health care reform passed!

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Republican Senator Scott Brown, let’s keep reminding him and all the other members of the G.O.P. of this:

BREAKING NEWS: Glenn Beck, the uneducated and memory challenged Fox News host was spewing falsehoods once again on January 28th. Media Matters informs us that:

Beck again falsely claimed he opposed bank bailouts. Beck also asserted of the “greedy bankers” who got bailout money: “I didn’t want them to get the money in the first place.” In fact, in September 2008, Beck called for a bailout bigger than $700 billion, but subsequently claimed he “hated” former President Bush for starting the bailouts. Beck previously acknowledged supporting the bailout on the December 2, 2009, edition of his show.

THIS JUST IN: What is with Sarah Palin and her obsession with sports? She let us all know about her high school basketball nickname of “Barracuda”. She then had a very short and unremarkable career as an Alaskan TV sportscaster. While running with McCain, she began referring to herself  repeatedly as a hockey mom even though none of her children were playing hockey at the time. She then started appearing at N.H.L. games to drop the puck for  opening faceoffs (appropriately enough, the home team went on to lose all of those games). Next, there was her feud with David Letterman over remarks he made about one of her daughters while they were at a New York Yankees game. Did we mention the “Arctic Cat” sponsorship controversy at Alaska’s Iron Dog snow-mobile race? That was followed by her incoherent speech about why she quit her job as Governor of Alaska which was couched in terms of something to do with a point guard looking for the open shot. She announced her decision to be the keynote speaker at the Bowling Convention in Las Vegas and we just learned that she will be appearing in some unspecified capacity at this year’s Daytona 500.

Sarah Palin has certainly covered all the bases (if we may be allowed to coin a baseball phrase). Wait, what’s that? We forgot something? Oh, yes, Sarah Palin has now injected herself into the N.F.L.’s Super Bowl by means of telling the world (on FaceBook, Twitter and with pal Greta Van Susteren) that she defends a proposed pro-life Super Bowl TV commercial paid for by Focus On The Family. The ad in question features the mother of Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow saying that she is glad that she did not abort him. Just wondering, but would Palin’s mother say the same?


Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Big Shot song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFvlF2CirP0&feature=related

BIG SHOT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Big Shot”)

Well, you went off campaigning with ol’ John McCain
With your new G.O.P. purchased clothes
You had that beehive hairstyle on your head
And high heels for your toes
Ooh,, and when you woke up in the mornin’
With your bub-ble burst
And tears pouring out of your eyes
We know “Thanks But No Thanks” was just
Another one of your lies

Because you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to open up your mouth
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Now your smile’s become a pout
You talked a lot of Reverend Wright
But all you did was scream and shout
You showed us that you’re way too uptight
You tried to be a big shot that night (Ooh oh)

And no one was impressed with your wolf hide dress
Just because you shot the wolves from a plane
And nobody could have really cared less
That you can see the Ukraine
But now you just don’t remember
The dumb things you said
And I’m damn sure you don’t want to know
I’ll give you one hint, Barbie
I think you got plumbed by Joe!

Yes, yes, you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had the SarahPac girls wowed
Your nose was running pig-snot, oh ya
Hockey mom without a doubt
Your interviews were such a sad sight
You’re so much fun to be around
You had to have the front page, bold type
Upstaging McCain most every night, (Ooh oh)

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa who-oo-oo-oo-ah,
Oh Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa.

Well, it’s no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you’re talking to someone that’s grown
But you’re attacking Levi
Because he was on the Tyra Banks Show
No, no, no, no, no, no

You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
You had to badmouth that young boy
You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha
Just because you were annoyed
You had to have the last word, that’s right
You know what everything’s about
But still we know that Levi spent nights
Sleeping at your house within your sight, Oh oh

Oh Oh whoa whoa oh, Oh Oh whoa
Big shot…Big shot… Big shot…Mmmm…Big shot…Whoa whoa
Big shot…

Sarah Palin Is An Ignorant, Lying Schizophrenic

The Palinistas must be apoplectic at the moment. That pesky mainstream media has finally exposed Sarah Palin as the dishonest, conniving, plain stupid, schizophrenic fool that she is. And what better program to drive the stake into the blood-sucking former ex-quitting governor of Alaska than the award winning 60 Minutes and during prime-time to boot? Ouch, that is going to leave a very visible mark!

As everyone certainly knows by now, last night’s show featured a segment during which former John McCain Campaign Manager Steve Schmidt simply eviscerated Palin. It is always entertaining to watch Republicans eat their own, but this was particularly delicious because Schmidt actually had full insider access to Palin and her multiple idiosyncrasies for the entire time that she was part of the failed presidential ticket. He witnessed her bewildering and perplexing behavior on a daily basis. Consequently, he knows that portion of Palin’s life better than any other person not related to her and possibly better than some of them also, too. The segment also included unflattering revelations about Palin from the authors of the soon to be released (and fact checked) Game Change, Mark Halperin and John Heinemann.

So, where to begin? I know, let’s start with Sarah Palin’s…

Lack Of Knowledge

Mark Halperin said that even after crash-course tutorials by campaign aides following the convention, Palin was still woefully uninformed about basic policy issues.

[S]he still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11.

Steve Schmidt added that she hurt herself in the now-infamous interview with CBS’s Katie Couric by not adequately preparing and letting herself be distracted by what the authors describe as an obsession about her political standing in Alaska.

Steve Schmidt stated that Sarah Palin was dishonest as the GOP’s vice-presidential nominee and that her untruths have done long-term damage to her public image. More specifically, he said,

There were numerous instances that she said things that were – that were not accurate that ultimately, the campaign had to deal with, and that opened the door to criticism that she was being untruthful and inaccurate. And I think that is something that continues to this day.”

Schmidt then referred to an Alaskan ethics complaint filed against Palin which held that she had improperly abused her powers as governor. he said,

She went out and said, you know, ‘This report completely exonerates me,’” Schmidt said. “And in fact, it – it didn’t. You know it’s the equivalent of saying down is up and up is down. It was provably, demonstrably untrue.


Dual Personality

Perhaps the strangest of all the revelations about Sarah Palin however, was that she had two distinct personalities. Schmidt explained the two Palins as the bubbly, exuberant, self confident public person and the morose, glassy eyed, confused private person. Schmidt referred to the second personality as “the other Sarah”. Not exactly the type of level headed person fit for the office of Vice President of the United States. Indeed, Halperin and Heinemann stated that top McCain campaign officials were prepared in the event that McCain won the election, to urge him to have Palin step down. They felt that she was so ill prepared for the office that it was “terrifying and unfathomable.”

Palin’s Response

As is her usual response, Sarah Palin refused to be interviewed for the 60 Minutes program. That was to be expected however, when one considers how poorly she performs when questioned by true news outlets with unscripted questions. After all, she has never appeared on any of the serious Sunday morning talking head programs such as Meet The Press, Face The Nation or This Week.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’ve Just Seen A Face song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbKxKs8Gg5M

I’VE JUST SEEN HER FACE

(sung to the Beatles song “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

I’ve just seen her face,
I can’t forget the time or place
I’ll make a bet, she’s trolling for a fee
Palin wants all the world to see her jet
Na na na na na na

Unemployed and without pay
She lives her life the Palin way
With winking eyes and beehive hair
She’s an Alaskan “Mama Bear” alright !
Na na na na na na

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sitting on her throne
With her intelligence on loan
The G.O.P. thinks she is out of sight
Their other girls were never quite like this
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

(musical interlude)

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

I’ve just seen her face
To folks like me it’s a disgrace
And better yet, I want the world to see
There is no place for Sarah P., you bet
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Oh, falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

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