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GOP’s “Jobs Bills” Lies Exposed

If there is one single thing the Republican Party excels at, it is telling lies. Remember Sarah Palin’s “Death Panels”? How about George W. Bush’s “Weapons of Mass Destruction”? There was Ronald Reagan’s “The U.S. does not negotiate with terrorists”. We heard Mitt Romney say “Obama has made the economy worse.” Newt Gingrich said, “The $1.6 million I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” Ron Paul lied about his racist newsletters and Rick Santorum said, President Obama is “driven by a phony theology – not a theology based on the Bible.” Is it any wonder that polls have shown Republican approval ratings as low as 10%?

One of the GOP’s favorite lies which is repeated by just about all of them is that they (i.e. House Republicans) have passed 30 “jobs bills” that have just been sitting in the Senate. Speaker of the House John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) said last Sunday on Fox news (where else?), “30 jobs bills were passed over the last year in a Republican House of Representatives that are sitting in the United States Senate — thirty. Our focus over the last 12 months has been on jobs. Our focus over the course of the next 12 months is going to be on jobs.” The Republicans even have a webpage with a list of their so-called jobs bills.

Unfortunately for Mr. Boehner and the Republicans, somebody has been keeping score. Crooksandliars.com has gone so far as to point out why each of those bills is not, in fact, a jobs bill at all. Indeed, it is humorous to note that the Republicans’ web page lists only 27 (not 30) bills. There is another lie to add to the ever-growing list. The following is a brief synopsis of each alleged “jobs bill” and why it is not a “jobs bill” at all:

HR 3630 – The Middle Class Tax Relief & Job Creation Act of 2011: It cuts the 99-week maximum down to a 59-week maximum by mid-2012, allow states to drug-test UI recipients, and allow states to reduce state unemployment benefits and substitute federal funds. It also cuts funding for key provisions of the Affordable Care Act coming online. It also repeals the new timing rules for estimated corporate tax payments for companies with assets of $1 billion or more so that they can use payments of estimated taxes as a timing tool for fourth quarter profit declarations. So, where is the job creation in this bill? None of those provisions create jobs.

HR 1633 – Farm Dust Regulation Prevention Act of 2011: This bill prevents the EPA from issuing or finalizing regulations revising air quality standards under the Clean Air Act, and excepts farm dust from all references to “particulate matter.” No jobs there.

HR 10 – Regulations from the Executive in Need of Scrutiny (REINS) Act of 2011: Guts the regulation process by mandating that every regulation promulgated be approved by Congress after an onerous submission process, while exempting any Congressional finding from judicial review. Call this one the Carte Blanche For Congress To Kill All Regulatory Authority Bill.  No jobs created by this bill.

HR 3010 – Regulatory Accountability Act of 2011: This is a modified, somewhat less onerous version of HR 10, setting guidelines for whether any regulations are warranted at all even if called for under a statute. Calling an anti-regulatory statute a jobs bill is a little like calling a half-built bridge infrastructure. So again, not a jobs bill.

HR 527 – Regulatory Flexibility Improvements Act of 2011: This bill would reduce regulatory requirements on small businesses by forcing an impact study with specific focus on small business before regulation is adopted. It would limit EPA, OSHA and CFPB regulations while presumably protecting “small” closely-held Subchapter S corporations like Koch Industries. Not a jobs bill.

HR 3012 – Fairness for High-Skilled Immigrants Act of 2011: This bill would expand job immigration beyond current limits by eliminating employment-based immigrant visa caps and raising the percentage of total visas granted to 15% from 7%. For this one, I’ll say it IS a jobs bill, but not a jobs bill for American workers. It is the “Elite Immigration Jobs Bill of 2011”.

HR 3094 – Workforce Democracy and Fairness Act: This bill redefines collective bargaining units and makes significant changes to election procedures, including one intended to intimidate employees: an employer-supplied list of eligible voters with contact information provided by the employee. Not a jobs bill. A union-buster bill.

HR 2930 – Entrepreneur Access to Capital Act:This bill exempts startups raising less than $1 million in venture capital from small investors from SEC registration and oversight. Not a jobs bill. An anti-regulatory bill.

HR 2940 – Access to Capital for Job Creators Act: This bill repeals prohibitions on solicitation or advertising of a securities offering. It’s a companion to HR 2930, and is intended to allow people with no relationship to a startup company to invest in it without any oversight by the SEC. Let’s call this and its evil twins HR 2930 and HR 1965 the “Ponzi Scheme Coverup Acts of 2011”

HR 1965 – Securities Laws Amendment: This bill changes the shareholder threshhold for SEC registration from 500 to 2000 shareholders. It’s not a jobs bill. It’s a “hide from the SEC” bill. Its companion, HR 1970, would exempt SEC registration of public offerings under $50 million rather than the current $5 million threshold.

Many More EPA Acts: So many they don’t deserve to be broken down individually. HR 2273 removes coal ash regulation from the EPA and hands it to the states. HR 2681 would put a legislative stay on cement manufacturing emission standards. HR 2250 would put a legislative stay on EPA boiler MACT rules. HR 2401 would require analysis of all EPA regulations relating to air, waste, water and climate change. HR 2018 would restrict EPA from issuing any revisions to existing water standards or issuing a new standard for a pollutant if the state has already adopted one or there is an existing standard in place. In other words, ignore any new scientific research after an initial standard has been set. HR 2021 amends the Clean Air Act to open oil and gas exploration off the Alaska coast. HR 910 strips the EPA of authority to regulate greenhouse gases under the Clean Air Act, a direct assault on efforts to limit man-made contributions to climate change. HR 872 expands the use of pesticides, fungicides and rodent without EPA approval. Not a job created in any of these bills.

Many More Oil and Gas Drilling Acts: There is HR 1231, which would require the Administration to allow offshore oil and gas drilling and exploration in order to meet set domestic production goals, effectively forcing the moratorium on offshore drilling to be lifted to meet goals. HR 1229 requires the Energy Secretary to consider any offshore drilling permits within 30 days of receiving it and provide application denials in writing within 60 days of the application. Another “forced moratorium lift” bill. HR 1230 forces sales of oil leases in the Gulf of Mexico and Outer Continental Shelf of Virginia. It also lifts requirements for environmental impact statements and grandfathers in a 2007 document as authority for environmental impact. No new jobs created here either.

Special Interest Legislation, or Pandering to Corporate Interests

  • HR 1904 proposes an exchange of land so that Resolution Copper, LLC can mine copper on what is now part of the Tonto National Forest.
  • HJ Res 37 is a resolution of disapproval on net neutrality.
  • HR 2587 prohibits the NLRB from restricting where an employer can locate. This is in response to the NLRB’s objection to the Boeing plant relocation to South Carolina, a right-to-work state.

These would fall under the anti-labor, anti-environment categories, but not particularly effective job creators. In fact, in Boeing’s case, the jobs lost would hurt the economy more than jobs created in a right-to-work state where employers are not obligated to adhere to industry standards on contracts, safety or other issues.

Republicans passing jobs bills? Nope. Just more GOP lies.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av2e

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

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Republicans Question Gingrich’s Qualification To Be President

All in all, Republican presidential candidate Newt “Philanderer” Gingrich did not have a very good day. The most recent GOP frontrunner and flavor of the week, resembled a punching-bag yesterday as just about everybody took a well-deserved jab at him.

First, his chief rival Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney gave Newt a body blow. This was probably in response to Gingrich’s Iowa political director’s contention that Romney’s religion (Mormon) is a “cult”. That was sort of a strange comment coming from a person who supports a candidate who has belonged to at least three different religious affiliations. In any event, Romney, during an interview with the New York Times, in reference to Gingrich, said, “Zany is not what we need in a president. It may work on talk radio… But in terms of a president, we need a leader.” A Romney political action committee then delivered a crushing uppercut by releasing a campaign ad that portrays a Gingrich candidacy as a dream-come-true for Democrats. It states, “Barack Obama’s plan is working. Destroy Mitt Romney. Run against Newt Gingrich.” Adding to the onslaught, the Romney campaign then released a new web ad that features Gingrich and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi in their now infamous plea to combat man-made climate change.

Mitt(wit) Romney was not the only person to attack Newt Gingrich however. The Occupy Wall Street movement delivered a few blows of its own at during a speech Gingrich was delivering at the University of Iowa. The speech was interrupted when Occupy Iowa City protesters started shouting. The heckling halted Gingrich’s speech for several minutes. Then during the answer and question portion at the end of the speech, one protester  went after Gingrich by saying, “Seems like you have a Ph.D. in cheating on your wife.”, in reference of course, to Gingrich’s history of extra-marital affairs.

The tag-team of Gingrich assailants then reverted back to members of his own Republican Party. First, while speaking at a Washington forum, Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) said, “I’m not sure he’s as conservative as some people think he is.” Boehner then ducked answering a question about whether Gingrich would make a good president.

Boehner’s non-vote of confidence followed upon former Republican Senator Alan Simpson’s statement to Bloomberg News that Gingrich “is for himself before he is for anybody.” Simpson recounted how Gingrich, then House minority whip, broke ranks at the last minute with his party’s leadership to oppose the 1990 budget agreement between Republican President George H.W. Bush and a Democratic-controlled Congress. “It was the most hurtful and duplicitous thing I have ever seen,” Simpson said.

Even the moonbat-crazy wing of the Republican Party is now backing away from Newt Gingrich. During a televised interview with CNN’s “American Morning”, former witchcraft dabbler, serial non-masturbator and election losing Christine O’Donnell crawled out of the shadows and zinged him. She said, “People are trying to paint Newt Gingrich as the anti-establishment candidate, which I think is funny. So many tea partiers are flocking behind Newt Gingrich, I decided to come out and say…the tea party I don’t think should be behind Newt at all.” Not for nothing, but any day that Newt Gingrich has his name mentioned in the same sentence as Christine O’Donnell, is not a good day for Newt Gingrich.

To make matters even worse, the conservative magazine The National Review printed an editorial which was a punch in the nose to Gingrich. The editors warned against nominating Gingrich by saying, “The White House seems winnable next year, and with it a majority in both houses of Congress. We fear that to nominate former Speaker Newt Gingrich, the front-runner in the polls, would be to blow this opportunity.” Ouch! That is going to leave a quite visible mark!

Gingrich is taking a serious verbal beating from his own party members and the blows are beginning to take their toll. The most recent NBC/Wall Street Journal national poll illustrates this. The poll reveals that half of all Republican voters surveyed said they won’t vote for Gingrich in the general election, and he trailed President Barack Obama by 11 points in a hypothetical contest.

Perhaps retiring U.S Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts sized-up Gingrich best and delivered the knock-out blow. First he said that Gingrich winning the GOP nomination “would be the best thing to happen to the Democrats since Barry Goldwater.” Frank then appeared on ABC’s “This Week” and compared Gingrich to the Wizard of Oz. He said,

“Obviously Mitt Romney is the tin woodsman, without a heart. And Rick Perry is clearly the scarecrow… Newt is the Wizard of Oz. Newt is the one who… I just think there’s nothing there, he’s ginned up this whole big thing, but when people focus on him as opposed to him being the Not Romney, this is a man who served as Speaker, twice reprimanded by the House… I just think he is an obvious weak candidate.”

And so it goes. The Republicans have once again hoisted an unqualified candidate for president to the top of their ranks only to suffer from immediate buyers’ remorse resulting in the search for the next “One”. Sarah Palin – Gone. Donald Trump – Gone. Chris Christie – Gone. Rick Perry – Gone. Herman Cain – Gone, and now Newt Gingrich – Gone. When will the Grand Old Party finally realize that they are fated to nominate their poor red-headed step-child…Mitt(wit) Romney?

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HASBEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Hey Sarah, How’s That Abstinence-Only Thingy Working Out For Your Kids? (Updated)

Daryl Cagle, MSNBC.com

Lynnrockets and Co. would like to apologize to you loyal Rocketeers for our failure to post a blog entry yesterday. My “real life” job as an attorney kept me a bit too busy to blog. Today however, we have a little more free time.

So, it is back to work!

Sarah Palin has been denouncing sex education and contraception since she was disastrously thrust upon the American people by John McCain. She has been one of the nation’s foremost advocates of abstinence only education. Of course Sarah Palin did not personally practice abstinence. It would appear that oldest son Track was conceived prior to her wedding on August 29, 1988 inasmuch as he was born on April 20, 1989.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska was also apparently not a very good teacher when it came to instilling the virtues of abstinence on her own children either. First, teen daughter Bristol gave birth out of wedlock. She claims that her “virginity was stolen” (rape?) by her boyfriend one night while she got drunk while on a camping trip. The veracity of that statement is called into question however, inasmuch as Bristol continued to have sex with the same boy for a long time after that. Now we have eldest son Track who also seems to have violated the abstinence only rule. Track was married only last May, yet today we learned that his new wife gave birth to a baby girl  over the weekend.

Geesh Palins, how’s that abstinence-only thingy working out for ya?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF TODD AND SARAH (Version Two)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Standing in the airport at Juneau,
Todd sporting his new campaign-bought pants.
But then SarahPac
Said,“They’ve got to go back”,
“You look just like a homo from France.”

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Finally flew into Indiana
Sarah giving a Pro-Life speech
Her decision rejoiced,
As to her Baby Trig choice.
Because she practiced exactly what she preached.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Sarah admitted as much.
She did have a choice, though
She would deny one to us.

Meanwhile in his home-state of Alaska,
The First Dude was beginning to cheat.
He had not one fear
That a massage to his rear,
Would be reported in a tabloid broad-sheet

Christ you know they’re so sleazy,
Just watch them on the TV
The whole Palin family
Lives out a life of deceit

Keeping every penny of per-diem pay,
Lying about clothes to charity,
Daughter that’s unwed,
Boyfriends in her bed.
Her chances of  election
Pretty low – Think!

Relatives all getting arrested.
Family dignity in free-fall.
Constituents claim,
“Sarah is to blame”
Not much of a role-model at all.

Christ you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be.
You know where she’s going?
Into the Party of Tea.

How did we choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t we elect “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Run Along Now Sarah Palin, Adults Are Trying To Have A Debt Ceiling Discussion Here (Part 2)

Palin uses sign language to demonstrate what she knows about the debt ceiling.

On Wednesday Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off ran the first segment of this story.

We reported that as the August 2nd Debt Ceiling deadline looms and the President and members of Congress attempt to devise some sort of mutually acceptable legislation which will serve to increase the ceiling, cut future spending and raise revenues, America’s most famous unelected celebrity wanted to have her say. Her words and advice of course, had no positive effect on debt ceiling negotiations. They only served to fan the fires of acrimony and widen the divide between Democratic and Republican negotiators.

First she attacked President Obama by saying,

“Scaring the American people is exactly what President Obama is doing. The president’s getting pretty good at this fear mongering and trying to cram down the public’s throat this idea of bigger government, more spending.”

She then criticized Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner by saying,

“The internal problem that he has is reinventing the wheel here in the 11th hour, when we already have Cut, Cap and Balance that passed the House, and we don’t need to retreat now and wave a white flag. This August 2 deadline is looming, but it’s not Armageddon, it’s not life-or-death, so Boehner and the Republicans have got to make sure that they’ve got a good plan in front of those who will be voting on this plan.”

But the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska who managed to obtain a bachelor’s degree in communications with an emphasis in journalism only after attending 5 different colleges in 6 years, was not finished yet. Oh no. Palin was right back at it again yesterday. This time she directed her meritless comments at freshmen Teapublican members of Congress who signed the infamous Grover Norquist “No Tax Pledge”.  On her Facebook page (where else?) she posted, in pertinent part, this dribble,

“Republicans campaigned on a promise to rein in out-of-control government spending. These are promises that you must keep…I respectfully ask these GOP Freshman to … remember us ‘little people’ who believed in them, donated to their campaigns, spent hours tirelessly volunteering for them, and trusted them with our votes. This new wave of public servants may recall that they were sent to D.C. for such a time as this.”

Did Sarah Palin just refer to herself as a “little people”? Did she honestly spend “hours tirelessly volunteering for” all those Tea Party members? Really? Even with all those self-promoting book tours and reality television show travels and Fox News appearances on her busy schedule?  And just what in the wide, wide world of confusion was she actually telling the Tea Partiers to do? Was it intended to be an instruction from headquarters that they must reign in spending in the debt ceiling negotiations by refusing to raise the ceiling under any circumstances? The timing would suggest that. But if so, that makes no sense because the debt ceiling increase only allows our nation to pay its pre-existing debts. It does not authorize any new spending. What is this dimwit talking about?

Honestly, Ms. Palin, have you forgotten that inasmuch as you hold no elective office, you have no meaningful standing to inject yourself into the debate? Your voice is one that does not matter or have any positive effect.

So Sarah Palin we repeat, please take note that adults are trying to discuss the debt ceiling and it would be best for the country if you would just run along.

By the way, we are just wondering whether you plan to run for President? Any update or is that another matter on which you have nothing significant to say?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Simon Says song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTBpafu_DE8&feature=PlayList&p=C7BA3DA90EF5F781&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6

SIMPLE SARAH SAYS

(sung to the 1910 Fruitgum Company song “Simon Says”)

She likes to play a game,
That is so much fun,
And it’s something even she can do,
The name of the game is “Simple Sarah Says”,
And she would like for you to play it too

Put style gel in your hair,
Simple Sarah says,
Lipstick on your mouth,
Simple Sarah says,
Do it when Palin says,
Simple Sarah says,
And they will vote you right out

Simple Sarah says,
Put glasses on your head,
Don some pants that stretch,
Sarah says,

Simple Sarah says,
Get Bristol out of bed,
That Levi is stiff,
Sarah says,

A beehive on your head,
Simple Sarah says,
The First Dude by your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Hate speech for the left,
Simple Sarah says,
Kind words for the right

(death panel lie break)

F-me pumps that are red,
Simple Sarah says,
A gun strapped to your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Diversity left,
Simple Sarah says,
Only whites on the right

Now that we have learned,
To play this game with she,
Sarah Palin has something to do,
Let’s try it once again,
We’ll mimic Sarah P.,
But let’s do it while we’re drinking too

Go kill a polar bear,
Simple Sarah says,
Now tell a big lie,
Simple Sarah says,
Dress yourself like a whore,
Simple Sarah says,
Ah, you’re looking fine,
Simple Sarah says,
Now, interview if you dare,
Simple Sarah says,
Mingle with the slime,
Simple Sarah says,
Get your ass out the door,
Simple Sarah says,
Make it double time

Run Along Now Sarah Palin, Adults Are Trying To Have A Debt Ceiling Discussion Here.

Palin responds to question about debt ceiling.

As the August 2nd Debt Ceiling deadline looms and the President and members of Congress attempt to devise some sort of mutually acceptable legislation which will serve to increase the ceiling, cut future spending and raise revenues, America’s most famous unelected celebrity wants to have her say. As the deadline clock is ticking and our nation’s economic fate hangs in the balance, Sarah Palin wants to rattle some cages and widen divides in such a way that if anyone took her seriously (and thankfully very few do) no compromise could ever be reached and America would for the first time in history, default on its debt obligations.

While appearing last night on Fox News (where else?), the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska said that President Obama is simply “scaring” the American people about the negative consequences of defaulting on our obligations. CNN reports that Palin said,

“Scaring the American people is exactly what President Obama is doing. The president’s getting pretty good at this fear mongering and trying to cram down the public’s throat this idea of bigger government, more spending.”

She also criticized Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner by saying,

“The internal problem that he has is reinventing the wheel here in the 11th hour, when we already have Cut, Cap and Balance that passed the House, and we don’t need to retreat now and wave a white flag. This August 2 deadline is looming, but it’s not Armageddon, it’s not life-or-death, so Boehner and the Republicans have got to make sure that they’ve got a good plan in front of those who will be voting on this plan.”

Honestly, Sarah would you please just sit back and let the big boys and girls handle this? It is virtually universally agreed by all experts (i.e. economists and financial advisers) that a debt default would be catastrophic. It would lead to an almost instantaneous downgrade of the nation’s credit rating which would cause the dollar to sink while interest rates soar and cause our debt to increases drastically. It would imperil payments to Social Security recipients and military members and their families.

Perhaps that great liberal Ronald Reagan sized it up best in 1987 when he described the folly of not raising the debt ceiling as follows:

“Congress consistently brings the government to the edge of default before facing its responsibility. This brinksmanship threatens the holders of government bonds and those who rely on Social Security and veterans benefits. Interest rates would skyrocket, instability would occur in financial markets, and the Federal deficit would soar.”

You see Sarah, you’re bachelor’s degree in journalism which took you 6 years and 5 colleges to earn, does not qualify you to be a voice which must be heard on this complicated subject. Have you also forgotten that inasmuch as you hold no elective office, you have no meaningful standing to inject yourself into the debate? Your voice is one that does not matter or have any positive effect.

So Sarah Palin, please take note that adults are trying to discuss the debt ceiling and it would be best for the country if you would just run along.

By the way, we are just wondering whether you plan to run for President? Any update or is that another matter on which you have nothing significant to say?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXZf833Gnxw

I’M OVER MY HEAD II

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say DC is paradise
Before going there, I better think twice
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

(job quitting break)

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Hey Sarah, How’s That Abstinence-Only Thingy Working Out For Your Kids?

Daryl Cagle, MSNBC.com

Lynnrockets and Co. would like to apologize to you loyal Rocketeers for our failure to post a blog entry yesterday. This Boston heatwave however, sucked all of the energy out of us much like John Boehner sucked all of the energy out of the debt ceiling negotiations yesterday. Things are now looking up though (on the weather situation, not the debt ceiling situation) because we awoke this morning to the welcoming sound of thunder-boomers and a brief cooling rain shower. Looks like we are now over the worst and returning to those normal cool Boston sea breezes.

So, it is back to work!

The “do as I say, not as I do bunch” was highlighted in this week’s news. We had Michele Bachmann once again railing about those horrible federal subsidies and Medicaid being a terrible type of welfare. We then discovered that Bachmann’s family has profited from federal farm subsidies for years and that her husband’s clinic has profited from hundreds of thousands of Medicaid payments. We had Newt Blingrich tell us that only he knows how to lead our nation out of the economic downturn. We then learned that his campaign is over $ 1 million in debt. and of course we always have the Palins.

Sarah Palin has been denouncing sex education and contraception since she was disastrously thrust upon the American people by John McCain. She has been one of the nation’s foremost advocates of abstinence only education. Of course Sarah Palin did not personally practice abstinence. It would appear that oldest son Track was conceived prior to her wedding on August 29, 1988 inasmuch as he was born on April 20, 1989.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska was also apparently not a very good teacher when it came to instilling the virtues of abstinence on her own children either. First, teen daughter Bristol gave birth out of wedlock. She claims that her “virginity was stolen” (rape?) by her boyfriend one night while she got drunk while on a camping trip. The veracity of that statement is called into question however, inasmuch as Bristol continued to have sex with the same boy for a long time after that. Now we have eldest son Track who also seems to have violated the abstinence only rule. Track was married only two months ago yet photos from Gawker have surfaced of his wife at what appears to be a baby shower and looking much more than two months pregnant.

Geesh Palins, how’s that abstinence only thing working out for ya?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF TODD AND SARAH (Version Two)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Standing in the airport at Juneau,
Todd sporting his new campaign-bought pants.
But then SarahPac
Said,“They’ve got to go back”,
“You look just like a homo from France.”

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Finally flew into Indiana
Sarah giving a Pro-Life speech
Her decision rejoiced,
As to her Baby Trig choice.
Because she practiced exactly what she preached.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Sarah admitted as much.
She did have a choice, though
She would deny one to us.

Meanwhile in his home-state of Alaska,
The First Dude was beginning to cheat.
He had not one fear
That a massage to his rear,
Would be reported in a tabloid broad-sheet

Christ you know they’re so sleazy,
Just watch them on the TV
The whole Palin family
Lives out a life of deceit

Keeping every penny of per-diem pay,
Lying about clothes to charity,
Daughter that’s unwed,
Boyfriends in her bed.
Her chances of  election
Pretty low – Think!

Relatives all getting arrested.
Family dignity in free-fall.
Constituents claim,
“Sarah is to blame”
Not much of a role-model at all.

Christ you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be.
You know where she’s going?
Into the Party of Tea.

How did we choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t we elect “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

The GOP’s Debt Ceiling Dilemma

Debt Ceiling Dopes

The Republicans have truly painted themselves into a corner with regard to their refusal to raise the debt ceiling.  Their demand that the ceiling may only be raised along with substantial entitlement cuts but without any tax increases for the wealthy or the closing of tax loopholes for corporations, is unrealistic. Unfortunately for the GOP, the American public has seen through the charade.

CNN reports that a Quinnipiac University survey indicates that two-thirds of the public say an agreement to raise the debt limit should include tax hikes for wealthy Americans and corporations, not just spending cuts. According to the poll, almost half of voters say congressional Republicans would be mainly responsible if there’s no agreement, with 34 percent saying the Obama administration would be most at blame. By a 49 to 33 percent margin, independent voters would blame the GOP more than the administration. Additionally, a Gallup poll released Wednesday reveals that 73% of Americans believe that some sort of tax increase should be included with raising the debt ceiling. These polls indicate that the Republican Party is out of step with the majority of Americans.

The entrenched Republicans understand their unpopular position but most can do nothing to extricate themselves from it. The reason for their dilemma is that most every member of the GOP. has signed a no-tax-hike pledge. A whopping 235 House members and 41 senators, almost all of them Republicans, signed a pledge written by Americans for Tax Reform President Grover Norquist, in which they promised not to raise taxes for any reason whatsoever. Consequently, they face being called liars if they do the right thing and abide by the wishes of Americans to include increased tax revenues in a debt ceiling bill.

Republicans do not want to anger their small but radically conservative base by breaking their pledge, so their new tactic is to try to fool the American public into believing that an American credit default would not be disastrous. Everyday we hear some Tea Party backed Republican proclaim that things would pretty much carry on as normal if the nation defaults. Even Presidential candidates Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann are echoing that fallacy.

The reality however, is that a national credit default would cause untold damage to our frail economy. Interest rates would likely soar as the value of the dollar plummets. Our debt obligations would also increase drastically as the result of higher interest rates on our national debt. Our nation would also be faced with the difficult decision of deciding between paying our creditors or meeting our obligations to Social Security recipients and military families. A truly bad situation.

To put things in better perspective, the aptly-named Perspectives.com offers this wonderful list of “The 10 Things The GOP Does Not Want You To Know About The Debt“:

  1. Republican Leaders Agree U.S. Default Would Be a “Financial Disaster”
  2. Ronald Reagan Tripled the National Debt
  3. George W. Bush Doubled the National Debt
  4. Republicans Voted Seven Times to Raise Debt Ceiling for President Bush
  5. Federal Taxes Are Now at a 60 Year Low
  6. Bush Tax Cuts Didn’t Pay for Themselves or Spur “Job Creators”
  7. Ryan Budget Delivers Another Tax Cut Windfall for Wealthy
  8. Ryan Budget Will Require Raising Debt Ceiling – Repeatedly
  9. Tax Cuts Drive the Next Decade of Debt
  10. $3 Trillion Tab for Unfunded Wars Remains Unpaid

Sometimes the facts and the truth can prove to be painful. In this case they are truly painful to the Republican Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKpEoRlcHfA

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Eric Cantor scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(hypocrisy break)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 83

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Representative Paul Ryan, the House Budget Committee chairman who has become a star in the Republican Party with his plan to destroy Medicare, is emerging as an unpopular figure among Americans. By a margin of 57 percent to 34 percent, recent Bloomberg poll respondents say they would be worse off if Ryan’s plan to convert Medicare to a system of subsidized private health coverage were adopted.Fifty-eight percent of independents, a critical voting bloc in recent elections, say they would be worse off. That’s likely to encourage Democrats to bank their success in next year’s presidential and congressional races on tying Republicans to the Medicare plan, which was passed by the Republican-controlled House on April 15.

THIS JUST IN:  The Republican controlled House has approved a bill removing a barrier to companies seeking to drill for oil in some areas offshore. The White House opposes the measure, saying it deprives citizens of a way to challenge permits and would also increase air pollution. Is it a surprise to anyone that the party that hates mother earth is up to its old tricks once again?

BREAKING NEWS:  The folks over at Buzzflash were spot-on when they concluded that it appeared that Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann did well in last week’s GOP debate simply as the result of “not spewing vomit as her head twisted around”! Doesn’t everyone love a good “Exorcist” reference?

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but if the Republicans know so much about creating jobs, then why was there negative job growth from 2000 through 2007 when they were in control of the government and it was a period of relative economic prosperity?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Leave It To The Courts To Redress Faulty GOP Policy” features Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels and his law which eliminated funding to Planned Parenthood. U.S. District Court Judge Sarah Evans on Friday granted a preliminary injunction preventing Indiana from enforcing the law that eliminated funding to the organization because it performs abortions.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Dazed And Confused” features the Republican members of the House. The majority party attempted to disgrace the President by rebuking his actions in Libya and cutting the funds for the military action. Problem is, the GOP does not know what it wants. In a very confusing action, the House voted to rebuke the President for the action, but also voted to continue funding the action. It is obvious that Speaker John Boehner has no control over his minions. This was an embarrassing defeat for the Republicans.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Republican tells you Texas is the best job creation state in the Union and that GOP gov. Rick Perry deserves the credit, remind them of this. ThinkProgress reveals that the theory that Perry has a stellar record on job creation is simply not true. As the Austin American-Statesman noted, “while the national unemployment rate is 9.1 percent and the Texas unemployment rate is 8 percent, some 23 states, including New York, have lower unemployment rates.” In addition, “jobs grew at about the same rate during Democrat Ann Richards’ four years as governor” as they have under Perry. Moreover, as it turns out, Texas is in fact leading the nation in one employment metric — the number and percentage of minimum wage jobs. Additionally, Texas has by far the largest number of employees working at or below the federal minimum wage.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “This Deserves Repeating” features Teapublican Sarah Palin. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska told reporters that she would like to meet the Prime Minister during her world tour next month, a Thatcher aide reportedly said, “Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Inasmuch as infamous Boston Irish Mob Boss and the nation’s “Most Wanted” villain, Whitey Bulger was captured last week, we were wondering what Martin Scorsese’s sequel to the film “The Departed” will be entitled. Perhaps “The Recently Apprehended” or “The Returned”? Any other suggestions?

THIS JUST IN:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “Suspect in Custody for ‘Suspicious” backpack is Marine Corps Reservist.” Comment: “All of you liberals, illegal immigrants, and muslims need to be rounded-up and put into camps that are surrounded by razor-wire!!!” How is that for conservative intellectualism?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “How Soon They Are Forgotten” features former Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck. Honestly think about this for a moment. When was the last time you heard anything about the now near-invisible Beck? Well, TPM reports that Glenn Beck said Thursday that he will be visiting the former Nazi death camp Auschwitz in a visit to Poland, and he’ll broadcast a special from a town outside of the camp because this will help him “figure out,” he says, “how did this happen?” Beck went on to say, “Poland, I didn’t know this when I first started doing my research. Poland rose up, a lot of Poles rose up, to try to help the Jews but they had nothing left. They had no arms.” Apparently Beck’s research failed to reveal that Poland “did not exactly have a reputation for passionate philo-Semitism. Towards the end of the war, anti-Jewish riots even broke out in several Polish cities as Jews were returning to their homes.” It is nice to know that some things never change. Glenn Beck continues to misinform.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM

HE’S CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Glenn Beck is a demented phony
He’s crazy
Marbles? He’s missing a few

We knew
He was one of Bellevue’s “Most Wanted”
And that someday
He’d make an asylum debut

Sorry
Beck’s on a mental safari
Wondrin’
How did he go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
Glenn’s crazy and back on the home brew
There’s no use denyin’
Beck can’t stop cryin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
And stupid too

Crazy
We’re not sure that Beck’s not sniffing glue
It seems like he’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
We know it’s true

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 76

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Tolerance In Action” features potential GOP candidate for President, Newt Gingrich. Think Progress reports that the Associated Press revealed that one of the cogs in Newt Gingrich’s vast network of business enterprises and front groups, ReAL Action, provided $125,000 to the American Family Association Action, an anti-gay activist organization that has been officially labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The group’s outspoken policy directory Bryan Fischer has “proposed criminalizing homosexual behavior” and has even advocated forcing gays into “reparative” therapy.

THIS JUST IN:  Glenn Beck‘s program on Fox News was mercifully terminated last week and as a result thereof, millions of Americans will no longer be subjected to his vile and racist hate-speak and his on-air mental breakdown. MediaMatters For America has compiled a very comprehensive list of “The 50 Worst Things Glenn Beck Said On Fox News”. Check it out because it is quite eye-opening.

BREAKING NEWS: Think Progress reports Democrats and labor activists are ready to file another recall petition in Wisconsin, as they are expected to submit nearly 24,000 signatures against state Sen. Randy Hopper (R). Only about 15,000 signatures are needed to successfully trigger a recall. It will mark the second time in less than a week that a recall petition has been successfully filed against a Wisconsin Senate Republican, after organizers submitted about 22,000 signatures against Sen. Dan Kapanke (R) last Friday. Among the signatures may be those of Hopper’s former maid and his estranged wife. (Hopper is reportedly having an affair with a former staffer and now lives outside of his district.) His wife has even indicated that she will contribute to whomever runs against Hopper in a recall election. Revenge of course, is best served cold!

THIS JUST IN: Remember all that Republican talk last election season about their focus being on job creation? Well, Republican Rep. Paul Ryan (WI) unveiled his draconian budget resolution bill last week which not only would drastically cut Medicaid benefits and inflict enormous hardship on the most vulnerable populations in society by depriving them of access to basic health care. It would also cause the loss of nearly two million private sector jobs. See this report of The Economic Policy Institute. So much for the GOP commitment to job creation!

BREAKING NEWS: It is nice to see that some Florida voters have finally awakened to smell the coffee. News4Jax.com reports that Republican voters who once favored Gov. Rick Scott said they’re suffering from voter’s remorse. To ease their worries, a group of card-carrying Republicans went to the Duval County Supervisor of Elections office Thursday to switch their party affiliation. In a recent Quinnipiac survey, only 35 percent of registered voters in Florida questioned gave Scott a positive job approval rating. The common reasons given by those who disapprove of Scott’s job so far are Florida’s slumping economy and the governor’s hard-right governing style.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Bad Decisions Have Consequences” features the newly elected Teapublican Governor of Maine, Paul LePage. In a bold attack against organized labor, LePage has ordered the removal from a state office building of a large mural depicting the state’s labor history. In response, the U.S. Department of Labor has demanded a refund of the approximately $ 60,000.00 of federal money that paid for it.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Fox News Gets A Pie In The Face” features who else but Fox News. Watch these buffoons try to gloat over the allegation that NBC News (owned by GE) did not report on the fact that GE paid no income tax last year. Continue to watch as they are informed that NBC news did, in fact,  cover the story. At about the 1:30 minute mark the whole discussion breaks down and the story is cut. How embarrassing and amateurish for an allegedly “fair and balanced” news network!

THIS JUST IN: Of course the most important and most widely covered news story of the week was the battle over the fiscal year 2011 budget which culminated in a bi-partisan compromise agreement which will be signed by the President tomorrow. In light of its importance and domination of the news cycle, the budget battle itself probably does not belong in this recap of  weekly events that “may have escaped your attention”. What you may have missed however, was the Tea Party‘s position and reaction both prior to and subsequent to the budget compromise. The Tea Baggers seriously expected that they would either achieve their draconian and unrealistic goal of cutting $ 100 Billion from the 2011 budget, de-funding Planned Parenthood, National Public Radio, the entire health care reform law which they refer to as ObamaCare and taking regulatory authority away from the EPA, or in the alternative, shutting down the government. Indeed scores of  Teapublicans and their servile representatives in the House gathered at the Capitol and chanted “Shut It Down!” for the last several days. Unfortunately for them, the Teapublicans lost on all counts as none of those things were included in the final budget and the government did not shut down. Consequently, the Tea Party’s irrational anger has now turned inward and they are clamoring for the removal of House Speaker John Boehner and every other mainstream Republican that dared to compromise with Democrats. As we have said so many times in the past, there is nothing more enjoyable than watching conservatives eat their young!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Beck Bounced By Beleaguered Boss

Last month’s New York Times report that moonbat-crazy Glenn Beck may be told to pack up his things and leave Fox News-Ville in December when his contract with the network expires has proven to be true. Fox News announced on Wednesday that Glenn Beck’s nightly Teapublican propaganda show will be terminated before year’s end. The break-up allegedly came after months of infighting between Beck and the network. The straw that broke the camel’s back however, was most likely the fact that virtually all of the program’s sponsors fled along with their advertising revenue and Beck’s ratings have plummeted by approximately 40%. What show could withstand that type of double-whammy?

During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck will be long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded tenured professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in front of which there are no longer any sane students. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses seem to have been witnessing of late.

Don’t believe me? Watch this:

Beck delivered his own on-air epithet Wednesday night. It was a strange and rambling diatribe in which he compared himself to Paul Revere and quoted “Macbeth”. He said,

“When I took this job I didn’t take it because it was going to be a career for me. Paul Revere did not get up on the horse and say, ‘I’m going to do this for the rest of my life.  He didn’t do it. He got off the horse at some point and fought in the revolution, and then he went back to silversmithing.”

He then went on to say,

“If I could prove my case that something wicked this way was coming, something in America was wrong, America would listen, and they have. I will continue to tell the story. Stick together. I’m going to be showing you other ways for us to connect. But I have other things to do.”

Thankfully for most sane Americans, Glenn Beck will not be showing us things and doing things on one of the largest cable networks in the nation for much longer. Ah Glenn, we hardly knew ye!

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Last Train To Clarksville song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KSHyXGy6XA

LAST TRAIN TO NUTSVILLE

(sung to the Monkees song “Last Train To Clarksville”)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
You can be there by four-thirty
Cuz Fox made your reservation
The Beck Show, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Glenn lost his mind without warning
And it won’t be back again
Glenn Beck’s facing stormy weather
And it’s causing quite a strain
So, he must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no

He might have a lobotomy on his dome.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Glenn Beck is their famous patient
If he’s not crying he’ll blow some kisses
But don’t attempt conversation
Oh… oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

(conspiracy theory break)

Take the last train to Nutsville
That’s where Glenn Beck now calls home
We can’t hear him making noisy
Conversation all alone
He’s feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

And I don’t think that Glenn finds another home.

(break with reality)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
He will look ragged and dirty
And in need of medication
Beck must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

And I don’t think that Glenn finds another home.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Take the last train to Nutsville
(repeat and fade)