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Tuesday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 97

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first workday of summer!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Creepy Old Fat Men” stars conservative radio shock jock Rush Limbaugh. Media Matters reports that last week the drug-addicted Limbaugh told a 14 year old girl who called into the program that she is a “Rush babe”. He then said, “See, folks, this program has no boundaries. We have people from all three sexes, we have people from all religions, we have people from all genders, all demographics, all ages. A 14-year-old Rush babe.” Ewww! After listening to Limbaugh, you feel like you need a shower.

THIS JUST IN:  Want to know how to lose the Latino vote? Just ask Mitt Romney. Talking Points Memo reports that Romney addressed a luncheon hosted by the Latino Coalition Wednesday. Immigration was not mentioned once, either in the address or in a pre-screened Q&A session. Romney’s lack of any reference to immigration on Wednesday was especially glaring given that the Latino Coalition has strongly advocated for comprehensive immigration reforms in recent years. The  the latest polls show Romney trailing with Latinos by the same disastrous margins that brought down John McCain.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Mitt Romney, he was given a foreign policy spanking last week by none other than GOP foreign policy heavyweight Colin Powell. In reference to Romney’s labeling of Russia as the United States’ “No. 1 geopolitical foe, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, “Come on, Mitt, think. That isn’t the case.” MSNBC reports that Powell added, “Let’s not go creating enemies where none need exist… let’s not hyperbolize the situation.”

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Colin Powell, did you realize that last week he endorsed gay marriage? The Hill reports that he said, “As I’ve thought about gay marriage, I know a lot of friends who are individually gay but are in partnerships with loved ones. And they are [as] stable a family as my family is. And they raise children. And so I don’t see any reason not to say that they should be able to get married under the laws of their state or the laws of the country, however that turns out — it seems to be the laws of the state,” during an appearance on CNN’s “The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.” Good for you, Mr. Powell!

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember Newt Gingrich? before running for President he liked to brag that his business ventures pulled in more than $110 million over the past decade. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Newt’s quitting the presidential race. Reuters reports that “the vestiges of this empire are mired in debt, as is Gingrich’s campaign fund” and they “are going bankrupt.” Gingrich, you might recall, told the American people he knew how to get the nation out of debt. Not so much.

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Newt Gingrich, remember when the philanderer’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing revealed he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store? Well, perhaps Gingrich’s recent financial collapse has also had a negative effect on the tony jeweler. Tiffany & Co. cut its outlook for both sales and profit for the year, citing a slowdown in demand for its jewelry. As the result of that announcement, its shares fell more than 8 percent in premarket trading.

BREAKING NEWS: Best quote of the week: at an event in Iowa, President Obama said “Governor Romney came to Des Moines last week and warned of a prairie fire of debt, but he left out some facts. His speech was more like a cow pie of distortion.”

THIS JUST IN: This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young” features George F. Will. Thinkprogress writes, “During an appearance on ABC’s This Week, columnist George Will slammed Romney for sharing a stage with the self-promoting businessman. Describing Trump as a ”bloviating ignoramus,” Will said, “I do not understand the cost benefit here. The costs are clear. The benefit — what voter is gonna vote for him [Romney] because he is seen with Donald Trump? The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious it seems to me…Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics. Again, I don’t understand the benefit. What is Romney seeking? “

BREAKING NEWS:  This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young- Part Two” features Meghan McCain. The Senator’s daughter wrote a column in The Daily Beast this week in which she called out Republicans for their hate speech. She said, “Last week, I went on Al Sharpton’s MSNBC show PoliticsNation to talk about extremism in the Republican Party. As a socially liberal Republican, this happens to be a topic I know a lot about. On the show, I told Sharpton that many Republicans treat me like a freak, especially the extreme-right members of my party. I went on to say that I don’t understand the appeal of extreme bloggers such as Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. That’s all I said, but it only took a few hours before my comments were posted out of context on a variety of blogs that suggested I was viciously attacking Breitbart. My Twitter feed exploded with insults, including the suggestion that I should kill myself.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune of today’s song parody about the Meghan McCain /Michelle Malkin rivalry, but also so that you will have more fun singing along.

We Can Work It Out song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn_ZdX6nQvw

THEY CAN’T WORK IT OUT

(sung to The Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”)

Try to see Malkin’s way
All she does is keep on squawking till she can’t go on
Try to see McCain’s way
Just a kid foregoing all the love of neocons

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

All Meghan is saying
Neocons were wrong and moved way too far to the right
But Michelle is saying
McCain’s a kid that must learn to hate with lips locked tight

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

No one shall abort for it’s a crime
Keep fussing and fighting, my friends
G.O.P. group thought by Fox is fine
Broadcast from six till after ten

But to see Malkin’s way
So easy to tell that the far right is so damn wrong
She can’t see McCain’s way
And the chance that the right will fall apart before too long

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Sight is very short in Malkin time
Nonplussing and fighting with friends
McCain’s only thought, not worth a dime
But she still “tweets” time and again

They should hit the highway
They emit a smell that is both ripe and very strong
Passing through a doorway
That will hit them in the ass as we shout out, “So Long!”

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Bristol Palin Releases A Juvenile Tell-All

If this isn’t just what America needs! Another Palin has attempted to write a book. First there was “Going Rogue: An American Life”, a ghostwritten memoir by Sarah Palin. That was followed by the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s scrapbook of a mess titled, “America By Heart: Reflections Of Family, Faith and Flag”. Now we have daughter Bristol Palin’s “Not Afraid Of Life: My Journey So Far”. What is with these Palins and their affinity for sub-titles anyway?

Bristol Palin of course, is the one-time high school drop-out and one-time unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter of Sarah and Todd Palin. During her campaign for vice president, Sarah often referred to her as the brave daughter who would soon be married to her longtime boyfriend so that the two of them would raise their child in loving harmony. Indeed, the wedding announcement was made before a televised audience. Of course none of that happened. Shortly after Palin’s campaign collapsed, so did Bristol and Levi’s wedding engagement.

After the break-up, Bristol accepted a high paying job with the Candies Foundation to speak out against teen pregnancy of all things. Only in America. She is getting lucratively paid to tell teens not to do exactly what she did. Yikes, talk about shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped!

Like her mom, Bristol has also taken to the world of reality television series. Last year she appeared on Dancing With The Stars and was surrounded with the ever-present Palin aura of controversy. It was alleged that despite her poor dancing skills and the judges’ low scoring, Bristol was not voted off the show by the audience as the result of a well orchestrated effort by Sarah Palin supporters. She was ultimately deemed to be a loser by the show’s judges. As an encore, it was recently announced that Bristol will now be appearing in yet another reality series. This time, the single mom will be shacking up with two male friends in a Los Angeles apartment while raising her son and working for a charity. How realistic is that?

Bristol is truly living the life of the typical unwed mother of a small child. A lucrative spoke-person’s contract, a starring role in two television series, a condominium in Alaska and a brand new home in Arizona and now the author of a memoir of her very own. That is certainly a lot more than most 20 year old single parents could handle. Bristol Palin is truly remarkable.

But what about the book you ask? Well, in short, it is nothing more than the transcription of a female adolescent mind’s gripe session. Bristol does to her friends and associates in this book, what her mother has done to so many of her own in her memoir. She stabs them in the back.

She blasts John McCain’s daughter Meghan by saying she is “self-obsessed” and reveals that after meeting her, Bristol felt she “might need to watch my back”. She portrays John McCain’s wife as looking “like a queen” and holding herself “like royalty”, not to mention having “never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do her hair and makeup.”

Bristol even snipes at the other contestants on Dancing With The Stars. She writes, “I noticed some of the contestants rolled their eyes when they realized we’d survived to dance another day.”

Her sharpest attacks are, not surprisingly, directed at her two-time fiance and the father of her child. Levi Johnston has probably heard all this bad-mouthing from her already, but now the rest of America is on the scoop. First Bristol tells us that her virginity was “stolen” by Levi one night while she was drunk on wine coolers during a camping trip (Hmm, wonder if that’s where the name Tripp came from?). She does not use the word “rape”, so we must deduce that the tryst was consensual. Nonetheless, she goes on to write, “I could tell by the evidence in the tent that all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Those bad decisions continued however, because she then tells us that she was later surprised to learn that she was pregnant at 17 years old despite the fact that she “had been on birth control.”

She then describes Johnston as a disloyal boyfriend who had “romps with other girls”. When confronted, he showered her with gifts, including Coach purses, Abercrombie clothing, and designer rain boots. In return, she forgave Johnston and started sleeping with him again with the hope that he would stop cheating. “It was part ‘thank you,’ part ‘security deposit,” she writes. Bristol even goes so far as to ridicule Levi Johnston’s intelligence. She pointedly makes fun of his grammar and misspellings in notes to her. This is particularly humorous when you consider that it is being said by a high school drop-out who required the help of a co-writer for her memoir.

Don’t worry too much about Levi Johnston however, because his very own “tell all” memoir will be hitting a Barnes & Noble near you this autumn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taADLPtyDb0

PAPERBACK WRITER (BRISTOL VERSION)

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write while raising Tripp alone
It’s based on my life as a teen-aged quack
And a bunch of folks that I wanna attack as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
Do not expect too much from this school drop-out,
I can’t read too well but I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that my mom once told
It’s a real page-turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I tell a tall tale about camping one night
I drank wine coolers and got high as a kite.
Lost my virginity, yes let’s make that clear,
That sure gave me a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Does Sarah Palin Read Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off?

Boy, what a coincidence. Or was it? Remember, Sarah Palin says that she does not believe in coincidences. Nevertheless, it is peculiar that on the very evening after we posted a blog entry which postulated that potential G.O.P. presidential nominee rivals Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann may be in a cat-fight of iced-tea proportions, Palin appears on Fox News (where else?) and purrs complementary sweet nothings in the direction of Bachmann. You have to wonder, does palin ever find herself humming along to any of those song parodies? Probably not, but it would be humorous!

We wrote yesterday that the throne of the Tea Party is in dispute. Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska held the title of Queen of the Tea Baggers from the movement’s inception right on up to her disastrous “I Was The Actual Victim Of The Tucson Massacre” speech. Palin’s reign of terror was publicly broadcast to America on a near daily basis by means of her Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, Fox News appearances and her un-reality television series. Her hogging of the national “lamestream” media spotlight ensured that she was perceived as the undisputed champion of the radical, educationally challenged, colonial attire-wearing, gun-toting, hateful rhetoric-spewing, right-wing gang of zealots known as the Tea Party.

During that time however, Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was planning her coup. Bachmann shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin and the Tea Baggers, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. Moreover, Bachmann was different from Palin because she is one of those “inside the beltway” Washington insiders inasmuch as she is in her third term as a Representative from Minnesota. Indeed, it was Bachmann who attempted to round up all the other like-minded Washington insiders when she formed the congressional Tea Party caucus. Bachmann seemed to be waiting for the moment when Palin slipped, at which point she would seize control of the Tea Baggers.

That moment arose on January 8, 2011 when Representative Gabrielle Giffords and others were shot in Tucson. The shooting immediately focused criticism on Palin for her eerily predictive sniper-sight laden map which identified Ms. Giffords as a target. Inasmuch as Palin was so intrinsically tied to the Tea Party, that movement also came under fire from many Americans. Palin went into hiding after her appearance on “Hannity” in which she unsuccessfully tried to rehabilitate her image. The Tea Party in turn, realized that if it was to maintain any type of credibility it should distance itself from Palin for awhile until things cooled off. Bachmann then seized the opportunity to grab the Tea Party spotlight. Her coup was completed when she (not Palin) gave the official Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday evening. As we said yesterday  morning, we may have just witnessed the dawning of the age of Bachmann.

Sarah Palin must have witnessed the same thing also, too. She suddenly appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s program on Fox News (where else) last night and attempted to mend fences with Bachmann in an obvious effort to regain some relevance within the Tea Bagger movement. She defended Bachmann’s ill-advised decision to give a Tea Party response which was separate and apart from the official G.O.P. response to the President’s SOTUA. Many pundits and mainstream Republican congressional leaders believed that the bifurcated responses may have signaled a rift within the party. Indeed, when asked whether he watched Bachmann’s response, House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) bluntly replied, “No I did not. I had other obligations”. Palin on the other hand, said, “I love it when anybody goes rogue for the right reasons” and “We believe in competition, even within our own party…and we don’t have just the fighting instincts of a bunch of sheep, like I think a lot of Democrats do.”

Sarah Palin’s efforts may have at least won over one unlikely person. Although she has been one of Palin’s most outspoken critics, Meghan McCain (daughter of John McCain) apparently likes Michele Bachmann even less. In a very backhanded complement to Caribou Barbie, she called Bachmann “a poor man’s Sarah Palin” on MSNBC last evening (see below).

Whether Sarah Palin’s overture of support to Michele Bachmann has won over any Tea Baggers remains to be seen. For all intents and purposes, Bachmann remains the new reigning monarch of the Tea Party. For now.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Foxy Lady song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnkYatAT7NE

FOXY LADIES

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Foxy Lady”)

Foxy
Foxy

These two, they’re a couple of smart-fakers
Foxy
But they’re just a couple of hate-mongers
Foxy

Fox makes them feel at home
Do they have any charm? No!
But they’re on all the time, prime-time
Ooh, Foxy ladies

Foxy
Foxy

Palin, she’s just so spiteful and mean
Ooh, Foxy
She makes us wanna get up and scream
Foxy
And Michele Bachmann now
Has just lost her mind
They’re both just wasting all our precious time
But Fox thinks they’re fine, so fine
Foxy Ladies
They’re so dumb

Foxy
Foxy
Foxy
Foxy

Yeah, just listen to them drone
As they sound they’re alarms, Whoa
Fox says they are so fine, prime-time
Foxy ladies

They’re just dumb ladies
We’d love to forget ya
Foxy ladies
You’re both no good
Yeah, Foxy
You’re both so dumb
Foxy
Sour lemonade
You’re spreadin’ fear. Yikes
Night and day on Foxy
Foxy
Foxy ladies
Foxy ladies

Meghan McCain Attacks Christine O’Donnell – MEOW!!!

The Teapublican Party has an honest to goodness catfight on its hands. Two of the new breed of conservative females are now at each other’s throats in what is sure to be a battle of the dummies.

Meghan McCain, the daughter of failed Republican Presidential candidate John McCain and the outspoken critic of absolutely everything under the sun, appeared on last week’s edition of ABC’s “This Week” program and blasted Christine O’Donnell, the Teapublican candidate for a Delaware U.S. Senate seat. McCain said,

“I just know, in my group of friends, it turns people off because she’s seen as a nut job. It scares me for a lot of reasons. Her candidacy sends a message to the younger generation that you can just wake up and run for Senate, regardless of past experience. Christine O’Donnell is making a mockery of running for public office. She has no real history, no real success in any kind of business.”

This is just the latest attack on the Sarah Palin endorsed “Mama Grizzly” who has had to contend with defending some of the strangest statements ever made by a candidate for public office. She has admitted that she has “dabbled in witchcraft”; had a picnic-date on a satanic alter; would have converted to the Hare Krishna religion but for a “love of meatballs”; believes the theory of “evolution is a myth” and believes that masturbation is a form of adultery.

O’Donnell also has some other problems. For instance, a complaint has been filed against her with two election commissions for allegedly using her campaign donations as a personal piggy bank from which she paid her personal rent and personal travel expenses at a time when she was not running for office. She also lied about having received a college degree before she actually received one. Furthermore, although she claims to have the solution for repairing the nation’s economic woes, she has been in debt for almost her entire adult life.

In retaliation for McCain’s clawing assault, Christine O’Donnell hissed mockingly of McCain’s “vast experience in politics and running for office”.

McCain then meowed, “I am not the one running for Senate. I am also not the only one with issues with Christine O’Donnell. I did not wake up Sunday morning expecting to create any kind of uproar and I am even more confused that people seem to be so angry.” She then added that the more information and research she did the more “worrisome” she grew about O’Donnell’s Senate bid. She finished by saying, “it is hard for me to take her candidacy seriously and I think it reflects badly on the movement.”

Meow! How will O’Donnell respond to them fightin’ words?

Then again, does it really matter? As we have said before, Christine O’Donnell has more baggage than a sinking ocean liner. Thankfully, she is trailing Democratic Party candidate Chris Coons by double digits in most all recent polls.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strange Brew song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE SHREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange brew – Tea Party drink for you

She’s a witch in trouble and without a clue
In her own mad mind, fame is overdue,
She’ll lose
Come this November Two
Strange shrew – she’ll lose November Two

She’s some kind of demon, yes we know it’s true
And her mortgage payments were way over-due,
It’s true
Student loans unpaid too
Strange shrew – they love Christine on Fox News

(masturbation break)

She’s a joke and she’s Sarah Palin’s prodigy
But she gets no love from the G.O.P.
Ignored
In fact she is abhorred
Strange brew – Tea-Bagger without a clue

Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew
Strange brew – Tea-Bagger without a clue

Sarah Palin = “Stress, Drama, Complications, Panic and Loads of Uncertainty”

This week’s episode of Republicans Eating Their Own features Meghan McCain and Sarah Palin. McCain, you might recall is the gritty and abrasive daughter of 2008 Republican presidential nominee, John McCain. Palin of course, is the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and 2008 Republican vice-presidential nominee. You know, John McCain’s former ill-chosen BFF.

Meghan McCain and Sarah Palin are not friends. In fact, daughter McCain (in true Palin fashion) has just authored a book in which she devotes substantial time to the ill-fated McCain/Palin presidential campaign. The book is titled, “Dirty Sexy Politics” and Meghan pulls few punches. Of Palin she says,

She was not just an overnight success or even a political Cinderella story, she was a sudden, freakishly huge, full-fledged phenomenon. It seemed too much. And it seemed too easy. In my heart of hearts, I’d always hoped my father would pick Senator Joe Lieberman as his running mate.

McCain went on to say that she predicted problems on the campaign trail even before Palin joined the team and that her predictions came true to the extent that Palin was more poisonous than she could have ever predicted.

Drama was inevitable on a campaign and created almost out of thin air. Tempers were always flying, and feelings were always being hurt. There was no question that a running mate would add to the confusion and upset, but I couldn’t have predicted just how serious it was going to get. Katie Couric’s interview with her before the vice presidential debate had been disastrous. Unhappy with her performance, Palin seemed to blame the interview on the campaign. And she continued to blame other poor interviews and snafus on the campaign too. Sarah Palin. She was turning out to be somebody who leaves a wake of confusion and chaos – to the point of dizziness – wherever she went.

McCain also describes the Diva-like self-importance of Sarah Palin and her family. She discloses feelings bordering on pettiness regarding interactions with the Palin family. “I felt a joke in the air, but it was on me” McCain said in summarizing an encounter in a Republican convention makeup room.

All the chairs were taken. The stylists were busy with the Palin kids, as well as Levi. ‘Can you make time for me?’ I asked. “‘You’ll have to wait,’ the makeup artist replied. Levi, Bristol, Willow, and Piper, who was seven, needed to be styled first … ‘They’ll be getting more airtime.

McCain believes that Palin’s brand of hate-filled fear-inflicting politics will not be successful for the Republican Party. She provides the following advice for the 2010 election: “The bedrock of the Republican Party is freedom of the individual … Not hatred … A hyper-conservative candidate has no chance of winning against President Obama … the Republican party has to start being open to new people, new blood, and new ideas.

In her book, Meghan McCain has identified Sarah Palin as being a major reason why her ticket lost the 2008 election and she has also predicted that the Palin approach to politics (uber-conservatism, hate and fear mongering) will cause her to lose future elections. In short, she is calling Sarah Palin a loser. Ouch! Take that, Sarah Palin!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Pretty Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rlB_q6lJ5A

PETTY WOMAN

(sung to the Roy Orbison song “Pretty Woman”)

Petty woman, cannot take the heat
Petty woman, with her Twitter tweets
Petty Woman, I don’t believe you
Can tell the truth
No other crook’s as good as you
Mercy

Petty woman, that’s our Sarah P.
Petty woman, and her Glenn Beck buddy
Petty woman, and her other pal, Hannity
They all work for Fox TV

Petty woman, winks and smiles
Slutty flight attendant style
Petty woman thinks she’s “mav’ricky”
Petty woman will not say
What convention speeches pay
Petty woman speaks in Palineese

We will read you
FaceBook tonight
“Drill Baby-Baby”
You’re not too bright

Petty woman and “First Dude” guy
Built a fence that is, ten feet high
Petty woman, just go away
OK

Joe McGinniss can still see your ways
He sees your rabid foam of hate
You’re such a sorry sight
But wait, Joe now can see
Sarah Palin’s on TV
Yeah, she’s there on Fox TV
O-oh
Petty Woman


Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 15

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS:  Arizona Republican Congressman, Jeff Flake told CNN‘s Wolf Blitzer last week that the reason that he disappeared and spent a week on a deserted Pacific island last summer was because, “I’ve kind of felt like a pansy, I guess.” Let’s think this through, he felt like a pansy since leaving his ranch for Congress and to change his self perception he ran away from life and other people to spend a week on a tropical island? Sounds like a very macho plan. Running away is the Republican macho thing to do. How appropriate that his name is “Flake.”

THIS JUST IN:  Rush Limbaugh’s bid to become the owner of the NFL’s St. Louis Rams has abruptly ended now that the main figure of the ownership group, Dave Checketts (who also owns the NHL’s St. Louis Blues) has banished Limbaugh from the group. Now that Limbaugh has the blues, perhaps he should seek an ownership interest in Checkett’s hockey franchise.

BREAKING NEWS:  Now that Maine Republican Senator Olympia Snowe has broken ranks with her party by voting in favor of the Senate Finance Committee version of the health care reform bill, how long will it take for Republicans and conservatives to start saying that , “she was never really a Republican anyway”? Let’s hope that the castigation starts soon so that Snowe may perhaps take the Specter route and switch parties. The Democrats will then enlarge their majority without waiting for the next election.

THIS JUST IN:  Gallup’s most recent poll regarding the popularity of well known politicians reveals that Alaska’s former quitting ex-governor Sarah Palin’s popularity has sunk to a new low of 40%. That figure is well below the magical 50 % believed to be required to launch a successful campaign. Here’s to you, Sarah, you’ve come a long way, baby.

BREAKING NEWS:  In preparation for his Playgirl Magazine photo-shoot, former, future Sarah Palin son-in-law, Levi Johnston is dieting on moose meat. I know that there is a joke in there somewhere, but I just cannot think of one at the moment.

THIS JUST IN:  Meghan McCain (daughter of failed Republican presidential nominee, John McCain) was out with the girls on Twitter last week and made quite an impression.

BREAKING NEWS:  Reverend Al Sharpton is preparing to file a defamation of character lawsuit against comedian Rush Limbaugh. In an op-ed published in Saturday’s Wall Street Journal Limbaugh writes Sharpton “played a leading role in the 1991 Crown Heights riot (he called neighborhood Jews ‘diamond merchants’) and 1995 Freddie’s Fashion Mart riot.” Sharpton disagrees and plans to challenge Limbaugh in court. Regardless of the merits of the case, the deposition testimony should be riveting.

Remember to click the song link below as it makes singing along much more fun!

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

Tweedle Dumb And Tweedle Dumber (McCain and Malkin)

Michell Malkin posing for college yearbook photo.

Michelle Malkin posing for college yearbook photo.

Meghan McCain with Dad at Republican Convention.

Meghan McCain with Dad at Republican Convention.

This week on Celebrity Deathmatch, the feisty femme fatal from Philadelphia, “Malicious Michelle” Malkin vs. the ferocious philly from Phoenix, “Mavericky Meghan” McCain. And the Republicans think that only the Democratic Party can boast of “talented, tiny starlets.” This latest battle between female Republican pundits or spokeswomen resembles a teenage girl schoolyard cat fight. MEOW!

Of late, Meghan McCain (erstwhile daughter of former Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain) has advocated that the Republican Party should attempt to include more “moderates” in effort to stem its diminishing membership and become competitive in elections once again. She believes that by catering to its small conservative base, the party has become increasingly more irrelevant.

Uber-conservative pundit Michelle Malkin’s response? “Shut up!” How clever a retort.

To add fuel to the fire, McCain then said that although Malkin’s latest book rides atop the New York Times Best Seller List, McCain reaches far more people with her views because her Twitter followers more than double in number those of Malkin. Now them’s certainly fightin’ words.

The winner of this week’s battle will square off next week with the winner of the much anticipated Laura Ingraham vs. Ann Coulter pairing in their mixed sex match-up. Stay tuned.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

We Can Work It Out song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2hElMqlFs

THEY CAN’T WORK IT OUT

(sung to The Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”)

Try to see Malkin’s way
All she does is keep on squawking till she can’t go on
Try to see McCain’s way
Just a kid foregoing all the love of neocons

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

All Meghan is saying
Neocons were wrong and moved way too far to the right
But Michelle is saying
McCain’s a kid that must learn to hate with lips locked tight

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

No one shall abort for it’s a crime
Keep fussing and fighting, my friends
G.O.P. group thought by Fox is fine
Broadcast from six till after ten

But to see Malkin’s way
So easy to tell that the far right is so damn wrong
She can’t see McCain’s way
And the chance that the right will fall apart before too long

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Sight is very short in Malkin time
Nonplussing and fighting with friends
McCain’s only thought, not worth a dime
But she still “tweets” time and again

They should hit the highway
They emit a smell that is both ripe and very strong
Passing through a doorway
That will hit them in the ass as we shout out, “So Long!”

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

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