Blog Archives

Newt Blingrich Gets The Boot (Again) !!!

Newt Gingrich’s days as a viable Republican Presidential candidate would appear to be finally over.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan to destroy Medicare was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” He caught so much flak from Republicans across the board that he felt compelled to apologize to the plan’s author, Rep. Paul Ryan (Not seen as a very “Presidential” move). Indeed, Gingrich went so far as to seemingly flip-flop (ala Mitt(wit) Romney) and endorse the plan. He then made a fool of himself by issuing threats to any Democrats that might be so bold to use Gingrich’s “actual words” against him in campaign ads. Gingrich looked more like a lost child than a serious candidate.

“Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering-Gate” was quickly followed by “Tiffany-Gate”. It was revealed that Gingrich had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company. To make matters worse, Tiffany had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Such lavish expenditures on luxury bling did not jibe well with Gingrich’s self-promoted title as a common-sense fiscal conservative. The ostentatious purchases also did not sit well with those hard-working blue-collar conservative members of the middle-class with whom Gingrich claimed an alliance. The financially struggling conservative masses could no longer be counted upon to vote for this Donald Trump wannabe.

Next, Gingrich was hit with “Abandon Ship-Gate” as virtually his entire campaign staff abruptly quit. Like so many rats fleeing a sinking ship, his press secretary Rick Tyler, campaign manager Rob Johnson, senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney as well as 12 other high-ranking staffers announced that they had had enough with their recalcitrant boss. Gingrich was left with the bare bones of a staff but he vowed to re-invigorate his campaign and carry on.

Problem was, Newt Gingrich did not expect to suddenly become embroiled in “Hands In The Cookie Jar-Gate”. Last week it was revealed by ABC News that “a non-profit charity founded by Newt Gingrich to promote freedom, faith and free enterprise also served as another avenue to promote Gingrich’s political views, and came dangerously close, some experts say, to crossing a bright line that is supposed to separate tax-exempt charitable work from both the political process and such profit-making enterprises as books and DVDs. The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich’s for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich’s books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker’s entities, Gingrich Productions. “

When questioned about the apparent conflict of interest, Gingrich told an ABC reporter, “I’m not concerned about that. The American people aren’t concerned about that. Try covering the speech.” Unfortunately for Newt however, the American people were concerned about “that”. You see, his political action committee was only able to raise a miniscule $ 53,000.00 in 3 months. The few donors remaining allegedly consisted of energy companies that are some of the nation’s worst polluters and a Dallas strip club owner who Gingrich once promoted as the “entrepreneur of the year”.

So, when fundraising gets tough, what happens? “Abandon Ship-Gate II” of course. CNN reported yesterday that Gingrich’s top 2 fundraisers suddenly quit. Fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have now joined the aforementioned 16 other staffers to abandon the S.S. Gingrich. The big question is now, “Who (if anyone) is left on board?”

But wait! There’s more! It was also revealed yesterday that we now have “Tiffany-Gate II”. CNN reports that Gingrich had an even larger second line of credit at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store. Gingrich’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing will show he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account revealed last month. How is that for a double-dose of Gingrich fiscal conservatism?

It took only one so-called “Gate” to bring down GOP President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon. Can Gingrich survive 6 and counting? Don’t bet on it. Remember, Newt Gingrich also has an ugly political and personal history. He is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House who was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.

In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111 other followers