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Gingrich Buys Both Bling And Tweets

Gingrich conducts Jobs Fair in El Salvador

The sinking ship known as the S.S. Gingrich Campaign continues its descent to the abyss.

The thrice-married, thrice-religion-changing former ex-disgraced Speaker of the House and present Republican candidate for President, Newt Gingrich is beginning to look as moonbat-crazy as Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. First we learned that the self-described frugal conservative had run up about $ 1 million on his credit line at posh jeweler Tiffany & Co. Next, virtually his entire campaign staff up and quit on him in a matter of days. We then learned that the candidate who claims to know exactly how to get the nation out of debt has a campaign that is over $ 1 million in debt. That was followed by the revelation that the man who claims that he will bring manufacturing jobs back to the U.S. actually has his campaign t-shirts manufactured in El Salvador.

Suffice to say, Newt Gingrich has had a troubling 2011. His travails have certainly been more than most unqualified GOP Presidential candidates could withstand. And yet, it continues to get worse. What else could possibly have happened you might ask?

Well, just the other day, Gawker.com published an item “based on a former Newt Gingrich staffer’s claim that Gingrich assembled his 1.3 million Twitter followers—a number that he’s taken to bragging about—in part by buying fake Twitter followers.” The Gawker source claimed that about “80 percent of [Newt's followers] are inactive or are dummy accounts created by various ‘follow agencies’” paid by his campaign. The social networking search firm known as PeekYou has now confirmed that allegation according to Gawker.

PeekYou conducts research on how to measure the quality of Twitter audiences, a project that included looking at politicians’ Twitter followers. And by their count, just 8% of Newt Gingrich’s followers are real people. In other words, only 92% of Gingrich’s Twitter followers are fake!

“We just started running the 2012 candidates’ numbers three weeks ago,” said Josh Mackey, PeekYou’s general manager of business and product development, “and when we saw your story, we went back to pull the Gingrich numbers. The huge majority of his followers are either completely anonymous people who have no other web presence, or they are spambots.”

Gawker.com reports that Mackey said PeekYou actually scrubbed each and every one of Gingrich’s 1.3 million followers, using 23 criteria—including name, location, and inbound and outbound links in their feed—to determine whether they were real people. “We usually find out that real people have real web identities,” he says. For the vast majority of Gingrich’s followers, that wasn’t true. They were either business accounts, private accounts, anonymous accounts that had only a user ID and no other discernible connection to the internet, or spambots. The average Twitter user, Mackey says, has a follower count that consists of anywhere from 35% to 60% real people. At 8%, Gingrich’s is the lowest PeekYou has ever seen. “When was saw it, we actually had our quality assurance people go over the numbers for two days to doublecheck,” he says.

So now, along with expensive bling, Newt Gingrich is also buying Twitter followers. Anyone surprised. Looks like the good ship Gingrich Campaign will soon be nestled right alongside the Titanic. Ahh Newt, we hardly knew ye.

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Financial Guru Gingrich Is Over $1 Million In Debt

Newt Blingrich on Meet The Press

For Newt Gingrich there is good news and bad news. The good news is that his recently filed personal financial disclosure report reveals that he has finally paid off his gigantic $ 1 million lines of credit at fancy jeweler Tiffany & Co. The bad news is that the disclosure also revealed that his Presidential campaign is more than $ 1 million in debt.

It is nice to see that the self-defined fiscal conservative has managed to pay-off the credit lines used to sustain his addiction to expensive bling. Perhaps he is now paying cash for his treasure trove of trinkets. You see, his habit has not seemed to have abated inasmuch as USA Today reports that Politico identified a woman named Sarah who tweeted that she saw Gingrich and his wife, Callista, ushered into a private room at the Tiffany’s store at Tyson’s Corner in McLean, Va., this weekend. At this point he may as well legally change his name to “Newt Blingrich”!

Gingrich’s presidential aspirations however, are not looking so rosy. First, we learned last month that virtually his entire campaign staff up and quit. Now it has been revealed that said campaign is more than $1 million in debt. Does Newt not understand that Politics 101 teaches that presidential campaigns are designed to raise money through donations, not lose money through expenditures? Jeesh, talk about creative accounting! Is this the type of guy the nation needs to lead it out of its current economic crisis?

When you also consider that the former disgraced Republican Speaker of the House has already been forced out of politics once by his own party; that he has been married three times and has switched religious affiliations as often, you might conclude that he has no shot at winning the presidency. That would be a fair and astute assumption.

In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Newt Blingrich Gets The Boot (Again) !!!

Newt Gingrich’s days as a viable Republican Presidential candidate would appear to be finally over.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan to destroy Medicare was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” He caught so much flak from Republicans across the board that he felt compelled to apologize to the plan’s author, Rep. Paul Ryan (Not seen as a very “Presidential” move). Indeed, Gingrich went so far as to seemingly flip-flop (ala Mitt(wit) Romney) and endorse the plan. He then made a fool of himself by issuing threats to any Democrats that might be so bold to use Gingrich’s “actual words” against him in campaign ads. Gingrich looked more like a lost child than a serious candidate.

“Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering-Gate” was quickly followed by “Tiffany-Gate”. It was revealed that Gingrich had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company. To make matters worse, Tiffany had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Such lavish expenditures on luxury bling did not jibe well with Gingrich’s self-promoted title as a common-sense fiscal conservative. The ostentatious purchases also did not sit well with those hard-working blue-collar conservative members of the middle-class with whom Gingrich claimed an alliance. The financially struggling conservative masses could no longer be counted upon to vote for this Donald Trump wannabe.

Next, Gingrich was hit with “Abandon Ship-Gate” as virtually his entire campaign staff abruptly quit. Like so many rats fleeing a sinking ship, his press secretary Rick Tyler, campaign manager Rob Johnson, senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney as well as 12 other high-ranking staffers announced that they had had enough with their recalcitrant boss. Gingrich was left with the bare bones of a staff but he vowed to re-invigorate his campaign and carry on.

Problem was, Newt Gingrich did not expect to suddenly become embroiled in “Hands In The Cookie Jar-Gate”. Last week it was revealed by ABC News that “a non-profit charity founded by Newt Gingrich to promote freedom, faith and free enterprise also served as another avenue to promote Gingrich’s political views, and came dangerously close, some experts say, to crossing a bright line that is supposed to separate tax-exempt charitable work from both the political process and such profit-making enterprises as books and DVDs. The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich’s for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich’s books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker’s entities, Gingrich Productions. “

When questioned about the apparent conflict of interest, Gingrich told an ABC reporter, “I’m not concerned about that. The American people aren’t concerned about that. Try covering the speech.” Unfortunately for Newt however, the American people were concerned about “that”. You see, his political action committee was only able to raise a miniscule $ 53,000.00 in 3 months. The few donors remaining allegedly consisted of energy companies that are some of the nation’s worst polluters and a Dallas strip club owner who Gingrich once promoted as the “entrepreneur of the year”.

So, when fundraising gets tough, what happens? “Abandon Ship-Gate II” of course. CNN reported yesterday that Gingrich’s top 2 fundraisers suddenly quit. Fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have now joined the aforementioned 16 other staffers to abandon the S.S. Gingrich. The big question is now, “Who (if anyone) is left on board?”

But wait! There’s more! It was also revealed yesterday that we now have “Tiffany-Gate II”. CNN reports that Gingrich had an even larger second line of credit at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store. Gingrich’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing will show he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account revealed last month. How is that for a double-dose of Gingrich fiscal conservatism?

It took only one so-called “Gate” to bring down GOP President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon. Can Gingrich survive 6 and counting? Don’t bet on it. Remember, Newt Gingrich also has an ugly political and personal history. He is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House who was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.

In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Newt Gets The Boot!

Rats fleeing the S.S. Gingrich

The AP is reporting that Newt Gingrich’s campaign manager and numerous other key aides have resigned together. Gingrich press spokesman Rick Tyler told The Associated Press that he’s resigned along with campaign manager Rob Johnson, as well as senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney. Also quitting were early primary state key consultants Katon Dwason in South Carolina and Craig Schoenfeld in Iowa.

Polico.com reports that one official said the last straw came when Gingrich went forward with taking a long-planned cruise with his wife last week in the Greek isles.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” It was then revelaed that he had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company which had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Politico.com states that after his bumpy start, rumors began to circulate in the political community the former House speaker’s days as a candidate were numbered. The collective decision by his high command to quit makes it likely that his demise will be hastened.

This is a crushing blow to the thrice-married bling-buying Republican’s hopes for a presidential nomination. So long Newt, we hardly knew ye.

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Newt Blingrich Strikes Again!

First it was MedicareGate when Newt Gingrich was lambasted by Republicans nationwide when he stated that Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Medicare Destruction Bill was an undesirable form of “right-wing social engineering”. Now it is TiffanyGate since it was discovered that Gingrich had charged as much as half a million dollars for jewelry at Tiffany & Co. Suffice to say, Gingrich’s fledgling Republican presidential campaign has not had a very good week.

It is not as if Gingrich did not already have plenty of problems. He is of course, the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House that was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.

Now this Tiffany story is growing many troublesome legs. First of all, the average working-class American whom Gingrich claims to identify with does not have a home worth $ 500,000.00 let alone that type of jewelry. Gingrich claims that he lives frugally but the average American will not consider such large expenditures on luxury items as frugal behavior. To be a fiscal conservative is not be an excessive collector of bling.

Now TiffanyGate has taken on another interesting twist. The Spy Talk blog reports that at the same time that Tiffany & Co. was extending an interest-free line of credit to Newt Gingrich’s wife, Callista, the big-name jeweler was spending major money trying to influence the congressional committee where she worked. “Tiffany’s annual lobbying expenditures rose from about $100,000 to $360,000 between 2005 and 2009, according to records assembled by the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan government watchdog organization,” Spy Talk’s Jeff Stein wrote. Can you say “conflict of interest”?

Is that the proverbial fat lady who I can hearing singing?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqXmBy1_qOQ

NEWT, HE HAS AN EYE FOR DIAMONDS

 (sung to the Beatles song “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”)

Picture Gingrich with a ring on his finger
It sparkles and gleams and it’s supersized
Newt claims to be frugal, he claims to be holy
A Catholic with so many wives

Emerald bracelets so shiny and green
Coaxing a woman to bed
But when a new lassie catches Newt’s sly eye
She’ll be gone!

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah

Newt collects wives by the bunch, are you countin’
With Tiffany bling on account which he buys
Gingrich just smiles as he shops there for hours
His bills are incredibly high

Millionaire tax cuts help Gingrich for sure
That‘s the Republican way
Gingrich won’t mix with the working-class crowd
They’re his pawns!

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah

Thinks of himself as the brain of our nation
He’ll secure our borders and safeguard our skies
Nevertheless Newt’s destined for the junk-pile
Our nation hates wife-cheating guys!

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah

Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
(repeat to fade)

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