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Bachmann Bagged By Blunder (Again!)

The fiction-machine known as Michele Bachmann was caught once again providing misinformation at a campaign rally. At a speech in Sioux City, Iowa on Monday, CNN reports that while answering a question from a member of the audience regarding the proposed oil pipeline between Canada and Texas, Bachmann said,

“I was talking with a businessman this morning up in Minneapolis. And he was up in Williston, North Dakota, where the Bakken oil field is producing. Someone told me that last year that North Dakota was the only nation that actually was running a surplus. And it’s because they’re utilizing their natural energy resources.”

First of all, North Dakota is not a “nation” but that mistake is excusable as a mere slip of the tongue. More importantly however, Bachmann misinformed the audience that North Dakota is “the only [state] that actually was running a surplus”. She was wrong as usual. In fact, Montana, Alaska and Arkansas are also running budget surpluses in 2011. That fact could have been easily verified by Bachmann because it was not a spur of the moment assertion. Bachmann said that she was repeating what someone had told her. She obviously took note and memorized what this person told her, but she failed to verify its veracity before simply parroting the misinformation to an audience.

This is very similar to what Bachmann did a few weeks ago when she asserted as fact, the later-discredited theory that the HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation. Bachmann claimed at the time that she was provided the inaccurate information by a person she had spoken with. The problem however, is not that Bachmann was provided incorrect information by a complete stranger, but rather that she chose to broadcast that information as fact without first verifying its truthfulness.

The moonbat-crazy Bachmann certainly has no need to get her misinformation from strangers. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements on her own such as the following gems as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann says some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wants to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

There is no doubt that Michele “Make It Up As You Go Along” Bachmann is the most laughingly entertaining nut in the bag of mixed nuts that is the current field of Republican Presidential candidates. Too bad she has no chance of winning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

The Palin PAC-Funded Hoax Of A Family Vacation Resumes

Here we go again!

The nation’s biggest self-promoter is up to her old tricks. After a two month break, Sarah Palin will back the shrink-wrapped Dreamliner out of her Wasilla, Alaska garage and resume her phoney family vacation bus tour this week. She has even given her faux family holiday a name: the “One Nation” tour. Honestly, what sane family shrinkwraps the minivan and gives their drive to the Poconos or Cape Cod a name of its very own?

So as to make it absolutely clear that the tour is really just a family vacation and not a politically-driven sideshow designed to highlight her profile, Sarah Palin has elected to steer well clear of political hotspots. Consequently, she is kicking off her tour in the sleepy heartland state of Iowa. What’s that? The Palins will be camping just south of where the Republican presidential candidates will be conducting a presidential debate on Thursday? Say again? The first in the nation Ames Straw Poll will be held in Iowa this weekend? Pure coincidence!

CNN reports that “it appears the bus will also take Palin to Missouri and Illinois to visit the respective hometowns of former presidents Harry Truman and Ronald Reagan”. Hmm, they were presidents too. There seems to be a theme developing here. Didn’t the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska contemplate running for president about a million times during every one of her Fox News political ads, er I mean guest appearances since 2008? Again, pure coincidence.

There is no reason to doubt Sarah Palin’s sincerity when she announced in a nationwide email to millions of her closest friends,

“The heartland is perfect territory for more of the One Nation Tour as we put forth efforts to revitalize the fundamental restoration of America by highlighting our nation’s heart, history, and founding principles.”

After all, don’t we all “put forth efforts to revitalize the fundamental restoration of America” when we pack-up Grandma and the dog and head to the beach house for a few weeks? Think of the Palin trip as a piece of Americana like that 1970s Brady Bunch episode in which the whole clan went to the Grand Canyon.

We can only hope.

Another positive to the vacation is that perhaps the under-educated Palin and her family will learn a little something about American history. The highlight of the opening act of The Palin Family Traveling Circus last May was undoubtedly when Sarah learned that Paul Revere was ringing bells and firing warning shots to the British to warn them that the British were coming during his famous “Midnight Ride.” You just cannot learn that stuff by reading those liberally-biased history books. Just ask Michele Bachmann who will tell you that the famous “Shot Heard Round The World” was fired from Concord, New Hampshire and not Concord, Massachusetts.

You must be thinking that this vacation will cost the poor Palins a fortune. Imagine the financial pressure of driving a huge luxury cruise-liner across the United States with gas prices being what they are and all. Well don’t worry. You see, Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC will foot the bill once again adding to the $20,000.00 it paid for the first leg of the vacation. The Palin family will not have to pay a penny. If you would like to contribute so as not to delete the pac’s precious resources, you can do so by means of the vacation fundraising drive taking place at SarahPAC’s website right now.

Will Sarah Palin actually have the guts on this tour to declare whether or not she intends to jump into the presidential race? Don’t count on it. She is too busy being a simple vacationing hockey-mom.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

On The Road Again song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TD_pSeNelU

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

(sung to the Willie Nelson song “On The Road Again”)

On the road again –
Sarah can’t wait to get on the road again
The life she loves is taking money from her friends
Palin can’t wait to get on the road again

On the road again –
Goin’ places that she’s never been
She denies that she’s campaigning once again
But she’s stealing dough from all her brain-dead friends

On the road again –
Like a band of gypsies, Palins ride the highways
Grifting never ends
Persisting like a plague that’s coming our way, yes our way

On the road again –
She says its great to just “reload” again
Good Lord above will Palin’s grifting never end?
Sarah can’t wait to get on the road again

(Fox News love-in break)

On the road again –
Just those Palin pip-squeaks always talking sideways
Every word offends
Insisting that the world keep turning their way, yes their way

She’s on the road again –
Palin can’t wait to get on the road again
The life she loves is taking money from her friends
And she can’t wait to get on the road again
And she can’t wait to get on the road again

Wacky Bachmann Out-Crazies Failin’ Palin And Announces Presidential Run

Bachmann and Bat-Boy Separated at Birth

How fitting that moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann will announce her presidential candidacy in Waterloo (Iowa, that is). Her campaign after all, should have about as much success as did Napoleon’s in the Waterloo which is now part of Belgium. Disaster is surely in the cards and is there anything more mesmerizing than viewing a car-wreck on the highway? Who would have thought that the wackiest Republican presidential candidate would be someone other than Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin has long been the darling of the Tea Baggers. That was natural in that she and they shared an affinity for misspelling and the misunderstanding of such things as Medicare, the United States Constitution and a proper dress code (Naughty Monkey cork-heeled shoes or tri-cornered hat with powdered wig?). Palin truly spoke the language of the educationally-challenged and the Tea Baggers understood it.

But something funny happened on the way to Tea Party stardom. Tea Partiers (and the American population as a whole) began to lose interest in the “Quitter on Twitter”. The first sign of this was when Palin’s “favorable” ratings began to drop in poll after poll. Additionally, her second ghost-written book did not sell nearly as well as her first and the corresponding cross-country book tour was not well attended by devotees. The final straw may have been her disastrous video response to the Tucson shootings. Even her co-workers at Fox News realized that her “The Real Victim Of The Tucson Shootings Was Me!” speech did not resonate well with anyone. Consequently, they invited her to an immediate soft-ball interview with Sean Hannity in an attempt to resurrect her credibility. Unfortunately (for her), that failed also, too. Shortly thereafter, Palin was crushed by Mitt(wit) Romney in a New Hampshire straw poll heavily attended by Tea Partiers. Since then, she has not finished atop a poll of likely GOP presidential contenders even once. In short, it appears that the Tea Party has “refudiated” Sarah Palin.

During the entire period that the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska was basking in the national limelight, Michele Bachmann was busy building a Tea Bagging base of her own. She shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. She did not post a Facebook comment or Twitter tweet in response to any word uttered by President Obama or the “lamestream” media. She did not appear in her own un-reality television series. And, she did not get into a war of words with every comedian that dared mention her name (i.e. David Letterman, Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher).

Bachmann’s plan to capture the Tea Party crown was more conventional than Palin’s. She was already a Washington insider inasmuch as she is a three term Representative from Minnesota. She capitalized on her elected office by forming the Congressional “Tea Party Caucus”. She is also fruitcake-nutty enough to appeal to radical Tea Baggers. You might recall that she advocated for a McCarthyesque investigation of members of Congress to determine if they are anti-American. She heartily agreed with Sarah Palin regarding her “death panel” lie. She fell hook, line and sinker for an internet rumor that President Obama’s 2010 trip to Asia cost $200 miilion per day and that he would be accompanied by 34 warships. She said that teenagers should pay their employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving the minimum wage and she said that being gay is “part of Satan”. She also displayed a complete lack of knowledge of American history when she proclaimed that the famous “Shot Heard Round the World” was fired in New Hampshire. (BTW, for you Teapublicans and Boston Herald readers, the shot was fired at the Battle of Lexington and Concord in Massachusetts).  Like Palin’s sniper-sight symbolism, Bachmann also utilizes violent rhetoric such as when she said she wanted Minnesotans “armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.” All of that is highly digestible stuff for the Tea Party.

Nonetheless, if you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

There is no doubt that Michele Bachmann can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. Indeed, the Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wants to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history. Remember when during the Vice Presidential debate, Palin was unable to provide a single policy solution for the financial crisis, the economy in general, health care or the war on terror? She gave little more than promises of reform and “maverick”-y governance. How about her “All of ‘em any of ‘em” response to the question “…what newspapers and magazines do you read…?”. Some of that must be blamed on the coach. Perhaps we will get an early indication of the prowess of her new coach if Bachmann accepts the challenge to debate one of those high-schoolers who have recently criticized her lack of history and scientific knowledge (See, “Kids vs. Bachmann. Score: Kids 2 Bachmann 0“).

Michele Bachmann’s candidacy is sure to amuse us for many months ahead. Stay tuned. Same Bat-Crazy time! Same Bat-Crazy channel!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Palin Plummets While Bachmann Bounces

As we said way back in our January 26th post, it appears that Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are on a collision course. Unfortunately for Sarah Palin, it  now appears that while she is riding along on one of the First Dude’s snow-machines, Michele Bachmann is behind the wheel of a massive tea-powered 18 wheeler. Can you say “SQUISH”?

Sarah Palin has long been the darling of the Tea Baggers. That was natural in that she and they shared an affinity for misspelling and the misunderstanding of such things as Medicare, the United States Constitution and a proper dress code (Naughty Monkey cork-heeled shoes or tri-cornered hat with powdered wig?). Palin truly spoke the language of the educationally-challenged and the Tea Baggers understood it.

But something funny happened on the way to Tea Party stardom. Tea Partiers (and the American population as a whole) began to lose interest in the “Quitter on Twitter”. The first sign of this was when Palin’s “favorable” ratings began to drop in poll after poll. Additionally, her second ghost-written book did not sell nearly as well as her first and the corresponding cross-country book tour was not well attended by devotees. The final straw may have been her disastrous video response to the Tucson shootings. Even her co-workers at Fox News realized that her “The Real Victim Of The Tucson Shootings Was Me!” speech did not resonate well with anyone. Consequently, they invited her to an immediate soft-ball interview with Sean Hannity in an attempt to resurrect her credibility. Unfortunately (for her), that failed also, too. Shortly thereafter, Palin was crushed by Mitt(wit) Romney in a New Hampshire straw poll heavily attended by Tea Partiers. Since then, she has not finished atop a poll of likely GOP presidential contenders even once. In short, it appears that the Tea Party has “refudiated” Sarah Palin.

During the entire period that Sarah Palin was basking in the national limelight, Michele Bachmann was busy building a Tea Bagging base of her own. She shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. She did not post a Facebook comment or Twitter tweet in response to any word uttered by President Obama or the “lamestream” media. She did not appear in her own un-reality television series. And, she did not get into a war of words with every comedian that dared mention her name (i.e. David Letterman, Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher).

Bachmann’s plan to capture the Tea Party crown was more conventional than Palin’s. She was already a Washington insider inasmuch as she is a three term Representative from Minnesota. She capitalized on her elected office by forming the Congressional “Tea Party Caucus”. She is also fruitcake-nutty enough to appeal to radical Tea Baggers. You might recall that she advocated for a McCarthyesque investigation of members of Congress to determine if they are anti-American. She heartily agreed with Sarah Palin regarding her “death panel” lie. She fell hook, line and sinker for an internet rumor that President Obama’s 2010 trip to Asia cost $200 miilion per day and that he would be accompanied by 34 warships. She said that teenagers should pay their employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving the minimum wage and she said that being gay is “part of Satan”. She also displayed a complete lack of knowledge of American history just last month when she proclaimed that the famous “Shot Heard Round the World” was fired in New Hampshire. (BTW, for you Teapublicans and Boston Herald readers, the shot was fired at the Battle of Lexington and Concord in Massachusetts).  Like Palin’s sniper-sight symbolism, Bachmann also utilizes violent rhetoric such as when she said she wanted Minnesotans “armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.” All of that is highly digestible stuff for the Tea Party.

As Palin’s star is fading however, Bachmann’s is rising. Like Palin, she has not denied that she is considering a run for the presidency in 2012. Indeed, she is behaving like most serious candidates in that she has been visiting early primary states.. While Palin appears to have fallen into a state of hibernation following her Tucson misadventure, Bachmann has been pasting her visage on the television air-waves (or cables) on a near daily basis. Most telling of all however, is that it was Michele Bachmann (not Palin) that gave the Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address. Mind you, she looked foolish and did a terrible job, but she was the face of the Tea Party at that important moment and it appears she will continue to be for the foreseeable future.

Last week Bachmann visited her birth-state of Iowa and it appears that Iowans favor her over Palin when it comes to supporting radically-crazy conservatives for the presidency. The New York Times reports the following quotes from prominent Republican Iowans:

Governor Terry E. Branstad:

“If Congresswoman Bachmann gets in, she has the potential to appeal to a lot of people who might have gone for Governor Palin.”

Former State Rep. and leading conservative activist Danny Carroll:

“If Sarah doesn’t do something, she may find that the field has been pre-empted,”

State Senator Kent Sorensen:

“I don’t want to bash Sarah Palin, but she lacks substance. I believe Michele Bachmann has more substance. I think she’d mop the floor with her, if you want me to be frank.”

Even Michele Bachmann seemed to downplay the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska when all she had to say was, “I personally like Sarah Palin; she’s a lovely person. I’ve had the privilege of meeting her and being with her on three different occasions.” Not exactly a strong vote of confidence.

Yes, it appears that the Tea Party torch has been passed. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sarah Palin: Queen Of The Meaningless Catchphrase

Palin tells Iowans, "I got nuthin'"

Not much happened in Iowa last night. Then again, does it ever? Sarah Palin spoke at the state’s annual Republican fundraiser but said nothing of substance and failed to provide any detail. Then again, does she ever?

Instead, Palin simply rambled on in her predictable call to arms including a never ending supply of simple catchphrases and clichés. Most of the usual suspects made an appearance such as, “rally the troops”, “lamestream media”, “gutless” and “reign in the federal government”. Then she threw in a few “renegades”, “shake it ups” and “take our country backs”. It was sort of like going to a present-day Rolling Stones concert and being pleased that they played lots of “Satisfaction”, “Brown Sugar” and “Get Off Of My Cloud” rather than their forgettable new stuff. We wonder however, if Sarah Palin even has any new stuff? If so, she did not unveil it at last night’s show. As the Talking Heads once said, “Same as it ever was”.

CNN reports that Palin critics said, “that if Palin runs for president, she will have to do more than deliver passionate speeches and step outside her comfort zone of Facebook, Twitter and her satellite-outfitted home in Wasilla, Alaska. Iowa caucus-goers take pride in seeing their candidates up close, said Jim Cross, a library director. At some point, he said, Palin will have to leave the podium and answer direct questions from voters at barbecues and town hall meetings.” He also said, “In rural Iowa, there are a lot of people, a lot of older folks, who don’t use Facebook and Twitter, for right now, there’s nothing wrong with keeping her name out there. But you do need to come see us at some point.”

Problem is, as we all know from past experience, that Sarah Palin is incapable of answering unscreened questions without making a fool of herself.

“In honor of the troops”, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. I wrote this one the morning after Palin quit as Governor of Alaska. I think it still works.

Fire And Rain song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE

LIAR AND INSANE

(sung to the James Taylor song “Fire And Rain”)

One warm July morning they let me know you were gone
Sarah, the eggs you laid put an end to you
I woke up this morning and I wrote down this song
I hope the blogosphere transmits it to you

I’ve seen liars that are insane
I’ve seen money games involving your best friends
I’ve seen phoney lines you’ve spread again and again
But I’m awfully glad that I witnessed your end

Won’t it be great when you leave us
And stick your head in the sand
We just might declare a brand new holiday
Palin you’re shaking and do not understand
Why we can’t wait for you to go away

Oh, I’ve seen liars that just cause pain
I’ve seen sunny days that you somehow turned to rain
You committed crimes, on that we can depend
But you’ll next work at a bar that you can tend

If we only timed everytime you whined we’d have had so damn much fun
Lord knows when your temper shows you emit a funny sound
Well we’ve hours of time to reminisce and pine of the days of Tweetle-Dumb
Pipe dreams and young pregnant teens, a beauty pageant crown

Oh, I’ve seen ire and much disdain
I’ve seen lack of praise and of respect, without end
I’ve seen wicked times that I never will defend
But I never thought I’d see Sarah Palin reach the bitter end, now

Glad we get to witness your downward trend
They’ll be a few things people will say about this clown, now
Glad to see you, glad to see you boarding that train now…..

Learning Palinese

Palin points to where she thinks Afghanistan is located.

The anticipation is just killing us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. CNN reports that, “Over a 1,000 Republicans have purchased tickets to witness Sarah Palin address the Iowa GOP’s Reagan Dinner on Friday – an event rife with 2012 implications that comes at a heady moment for the former Alaska governor.”

Joy of joys! Is there anything more entertaining than listening to Sarah Palin toss an indecipherable yet hilarious word salad while speaking in public? Let the drinking games begin as we try to predict what crib notes will be scribbled on her hands. How many times will she say “God”, “reload”, “also too” and “refudiate”? The comedic possibilities are simply endless.

As we anxiously await the release of pirated video footage of this sure-to-be train-wreck, let’s take a look back at some earlier Palin highlights shall we?

This is hilarious “also too”…

Before you know it we will all be fluent in “Palinese”!

“In honor of the troops”, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. I bet you quick-study Rocketeers can guess where this one is going.

Turning Japanese song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

LEARNING PALINESE

(sung to the Vapors song “Turning Japanese”)

She quotes from scripture
Says, “also too”
Limited world-view
Of that I knew
She was so daring to say, “thanks but no thank you”

Helen Keller
Was more profound
Poor Sarah Palin
Knows so few nouns
I reach for tissue every time that she expounds

Her book has pictures, yes lots of pictures
That’s why the worthless thing flew right off the shelf
Had a witch doctor concoct a mixture
That would drive her demons right on back to hell
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

I saw her picture, I saw her picture
And then I threw-up there all over myself
Sarah’s a talking Tea Party fixture
“Refudiating” things she just said herself
She’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning round

I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

All sex and thugs and whining woman
All guns, dumb kin, no clue, she’s lost in the dark
She told us that “death panels” were a sure-fire danger
She speaks in tongues and babbles like a psycho ranger
Hope she runs

That’s why I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

(gibberish break)

Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so
Think so, think so, think so
I’m learning Palinese I think I’m learning Palinese I really think so

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