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Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead !

And then there were five.

There is a little more room in the clown car known as the Republican field of Presidential wannabes today. Yesterday moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann quit the race after garnering only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucuses. She joins other Bozos such as Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Chris Christie and Herman Cain to exclude themselves from the race. The only difference between Bachmann and the others however, is that Bachmann was the only certifiably insane person to actually make it to an election. The craziest banana in that bunch of course was Sarah Palin but she never entered the race. The next wackiest contestant as measured by the Koo-Koo Counter was Donald Trump but he too shied away from the race. Herman Cain of course, was called away by his girlfriends.

But back to Bachmann. She called a hasty press conference in Iowa yesterday and in the biggest understatement of the GOP primary season to date said, “Last night the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice and so I have decided to stand aside.” Gee, do ya think? Despite having been a native Iowan, Bachmann garnered about as much Hawkey respect as fellow Waterloo native, serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Let’s not mince words, Michele Bachmann has been an irresponsible liar and historically ignorant politician for some time now. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements as illustrated by the following gems compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann has said some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wanted to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

Ahhh Michele Bachmann we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Michele Bachmann Is Unquestionably An Idiot.

Every once in a great while even Fox News gets it right. On Sunday, while being interviewed by Chris Wallace, Michele Bachmann was asked, “Are you a flake?” She failed to answer the question. The very next day however, on the eve of her official presidential announcement, Bachmann incorrectly identified movie star John Wayne’s origins in an attempt to draw a parallel between her and the American icon. She said,

“I want them to know just like John Wayne is from Waterloo Iowa, that’s the spirit I have too. It’s embracing America. It’s sacrificing for America.”

Problem is, John Wayne the actor never lived in Waterloo, Iowa. The only notable John Wayne that ever lived there was John Wayne Gacy, the notorious serial killer. Gacy, known as “the clown killer” was found guilty of 33 murders in the Chicago area in 1980 and died by lethal injection in 1994.

This is just the latest in a string of embarrassing gaffes made by Michele “Moonbat-Crazy” Bachmann. You might also recall that the Minnesota Rep. said that “The Shot Heard Round The World” which started the American Revolutionary War was fired in New Hampshire. Of course it was actually fired in Massachusetts. Another time she said, “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Apparently Bachmann did not know that most of those founding fathers were slave owners and that slavery was not abolished in this country until some 90 after those men drafted the Declaration of Independence.

If nothing else, the 2012 Republican Presidential campaign will be entertaining so long as Bachmann is around. Who needs Sarah Palin?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Michele song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKvee-w0uBc

MICHELE

(Sung to the Beatles song “Michele”)

Michele, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.

Michele, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?

Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.

Michele, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell

On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV
With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen

We mock you…

We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.

Michele, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.

We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”

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