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Ron “007” Paul Fears Goldfinger May Have Struck Again!!!

Before reading today’s blog post, please start the following video to set the mood:

It is beginning to look as if GOP Presidential candidate Ron Paul has been both “shaken” and “stirred”. Paul of course is the moonbat-crazy Republican congressman from Texas and father of the equally crazy Rand Paul, the newly elected Teapublican senator from Kentucky.

In earlier blog posts we have already highlighted some of the elder Paul’s ideas and characteristics such as:

He is known as “Dr. No” (Hmm, another James Bond reference) because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

We have also previously printed some of Paul’s racist quotes as attributed to him in his very own newsletter such as:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”.

OK then, it appears that we have confirmed Ron Paul’s radically eccentric bone fides. He did not need to do or say one more crazy thing to convince us that he is bonkers. But this is Ron Paul who we are talking about and he just cannot help himself.

On Friday we learned that just like secret agent James Bond in the 1964 film “Goldfinger“, Paul is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox. Does he suspect super-villain Auric Goldfinger is involved? Who knows? But one thing is certain, CNN reports that Ron Paul called a congressional hearing Thursday to grill federal officials about his bill to audit and inventory all of the gold reserves at Fort Knox, Ky., West Point, N.Y., and Denver, even though Treasury officials insist that the gold is audited annually and is all there. Paul wants to open up Fort Knox and other reserves and count the bars manually.

Paul suggested that the Federal Reserve of New York, which has 5% of the U.S. gold reserves, has the ability to secretly sell or swap gold with other countries without anyone knowing. He said,

“The Fed is pretty secret, you know. Congress doesn’t have much say on what’s going on over there. They do a lot of hiding.”

In response, Treasury Inspector General Eric Thorson said, “We know where it is. We know how much there is. We know it’s there. None of it has been removed.”

Now what? Will Paul contact “Q” over at headquarters in the hope of acquiring some newfangled spy gadget so that he may surreptitiously enter Fort Knox and count the gold? Will he don a tuxedo? What kind of fancy sports-car will he drive? Will he encounter a vivacious double-agent? Someone please contact Sean Connery and find out if he is available for the big screen adaptation of this thriller!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:


(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)