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Scott Brown Falls Into Trap For The Unwary

Massachusetts’ nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown has been exposed yet again.

He has now fallen into a trap from which few (if any) Republicans have ever escaped in the Bay State. He has foolishly declared to the Massachusetts population that he is socially conservative. That is a big “NO NO” in the bluest of blue states which was the first in the union to legalize gay marriage and implement near-universal health care with personal mandates. Even former GOP Governor Mitt Romney realized that he could be elected while being fiscally conservative so long as his social liberalism was not called into question. Indeed, while Governor of Massachusetts, Romney declared that “I think people recognize that I’m not a partisan Republican, that I’m someone who is moderate, and my views are progressive.” Romney also endorsed abortion rights while holding office in the Bay State when he said, “I believe that abortion should be safe and legal in this country.”

Scott Brown should have studied the Mitt Romney Massachusetts playbook more carefully. He may have avoided the problems he brought upon himself yesterday. Everyone is now familiar with the controversy which arose last week when the Obama administration announced initially that it would force all employers (with the exception of churches and houses of worship) to provide health insurance coverage to employees which included free contraception coverage. Some religious denominations (most notably the Catholic Church) and all Republicans denounced the measure because they believed that it forced religions which proselytized against contraception to undermine their own message. In an effort to appease those concerns, the administration then modified the regulation to provide that religiously affiliated employers could continue to offer health plans without contraception coverage, but the private-sector insurers themselves must offer individual no-cost contraception coverage to those employees who specifically ask for it.

Congressional Republicans who realized that they had just been outmaneuvered by Obama then over-reacted. They decided the best way to reject the White House compromise is to go after access to contraception itself. The new Republican policy aims to allow all private-sector employers (not just the religiously affiliated) to deny any health services that businesses might find morally objectionable. As The Maddow Blog explains, “Do you work for a grocery store owner who opposes contraception? You’re out of luck. How about an accounting firm that doesn’t like HIV tests? Too bad. Are you an employee at a factory that finds cervical cancer screenings offensive? Good luck to you.”

This new policy objective has caused a rift within the Republican Party. Moderate Republicans are beginning to express their opposition. Indeed, GOP Sens. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine have gone so far as to endorse the White House policy and publicly reject the Republican counter-proposal. What about Scott Brown?

We turn to The Maddow Blog once again for enlightenment. The blog reports that The Washington Post‘s “Greg Sargent connected with Brown’s office yesterday and learned the senator opposes the White House compromise and backs his party’s countermeasure. In other words, Scott Brown believes that any and all employers should be able to deny contraception and other forms of a preventative care to female employees.

Ouch! Brown’s position is certain to cause a backlash from voters (especially females) in liberal Massachusetts. You can bet the farm that his Democratic challenger Elizabeth Warren will endorse the women’s rights-friendly White House policy and call attention to Brown’s opposition at every opportunity. Scott Brown may have stumbled into a trap that even Houdini could not escape in Massachusetts.

Here’s hoping that such is the case.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvwDohEEQ1E

NUDE, DUDE, SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Jim Croce song “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”)

Well its nuthin’ like Chicago
We’re talkin’ ‘bout Boston Town
And if you like men bare
You’re gonna love it there
With Senator Scottie Brown

Now Scottie’s talkin’ double
He loved the Mass. health reform law
He voted for it like the flip-flopping Guvnor
Yet now he has declared war

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Now Scottie he’s a rambler
And he likes to strip his clothes
And he shows the world his private things
Most everywhere he goes
His senate seat is just a rental
Leased by the Tea Party crew
He better have some fun cuz he’s soon to be done
Massachusetts is too damn Blue

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Well Friday ‘bout a week ago
Scottie was not nice
He just shouted near and far
About all the horrors
Of health care and the price
Well he blasted dear Obama
That’s when Brown’s trouble began
Scottie Brown learned a lesson
‘Bout messin’ with the likes of a smarter man

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

You see, Scott Brown needs enlightening
He don’t give a damn ‘bout the poor
Scottie Brown’s big mouth should be muzzled
As he’s voted off of the floor

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Yeah, on the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 80

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first-weekend of summer!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “You Gotta Love It” features The St. Paul Pioneer Press. Tim Pawlenty‘s hometown newspaper printed the the former Minnesota Governor’s announcement to run as a Republican presidential candidate on its obituary page.

THIS JUST IN: Wisconsin state officials have scheduled the first recall elections of state Republican lawmakers for July 12. That day, voters will decide whether to recall three GOP lawmakers who supported Gov. Scott Walker’s bill to curb the collective bargaining rights of state workers.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Teapublican tells you that President Barack Obama has thrown Israel under the bus for suggesting a two state solution “based on” 1967 borders “with mutually agreed swaps”, please remind them to stifle their outrage inasmuch as President George W. Bush suggested the same thing in 2005. Where was all the shock then?

THIS JUST IN: Quote of the week: “In 2009 I had the sense if she made it to the White House and I had stayed silent, I could never forgive myself,” – Author and former Sarah Palin staffer Frank Bailey commenting to the Associated Press.

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember back during the 1988 presidential election season when Republicans seized upon furloughed criminal and recidivist Willie Horton as a means to attack Democratic nominee, Michael Dukakis? Well it looks like 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty now has his own Willie Horton to worry about. You see, two years ago Pawlenty pardoned and wiped clean the criminal record of Jeremy Geifer, who had been convicted for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Well, it turns out that Geifer sought to have his record cleared so that his wife could open a day care center. Turns out, Geifer has now been accused of molesting his own daughter.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Medicare” features Republican candidate Jane Corwin and Tea Party candidate Jack Davis. In the heavily Republican New York 26th District, those candidates lost to Democrat Kathy Hochul as the result of their unqualified support for Republican Paul Ryan’s plan to dismantle the popular Medicare program. Going forward, it will be interesting to see how many Republican candidates attempt to distance themselves from their party’s plan. It is a “lose/lose” situation for the GOP because those politicians who run from the plan will disrupt party unity while those that continue to support it will face voter backlash. This will be fun to watch.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see the US Senate hold a vote on Republican Paul Ryan‘s Medicare Destruction Act. The final vote was 57-40 against passage of the bill, mostly along party lines. Republicans who joined the majority Democrats in opposing the measure were Scott Brown of Massachusetts, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Rand Paul of Kentucky, and Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine. Those GOP members that supported bill will now probably face massive voter backlash. Yipee!

THIS JUST IN:  For the sake of being, dare I say “fair and balanced”, we should note that not all vulgar hate speech comes from the right. Last week progressive talk radio and MSNBC television host Ed Schultz was rightfully suspended for referring to moonbat-crazy conservative radio host Laura Ingraham as a “right wing slut”. Schultz did the right by issuing an almost immediate apology but the fact remains that that type of language is hateful.

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “CAIR: Bin laden More Like ‘Neo-Nazi, White Supremacist’”. Reader Comment:  “CAIR is another enemy within. All Americans need to take action against mus lims. Do not do business with them, do not hire them, do not allow them respect or equality. It is up to the people to rid ourselves of this social cancer.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 59

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of right-wing talk radio gone whacko took place in Boston this week. Jay Severin hosts a program which airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to  progressives as WKKK. Severin, (who changed his name from James Severino a number of years back, presumably to avoid any ethnic stereotyping) is a cowardly conservative host who has embellished his academic credentials and falsely claimed that he was the recipient of a Pulitzer Prize. He is, in essence, a light-weight Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. He was suspended by his station about a year ago as the result of vicious racist comments made against Mexicans. This week Severin also joined the ranks of conspiracy theorists. He claims that the unidentified plume which appeared off the California coast this week was actually a Chinese warning missile aimed at the U.S. because of that nation’s distaste for President Obama. He must have obtained his information from some classified documents provided by Christine O’Donnell.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Best Quote Of The Week” stars MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann, who said of his campaign contribution suspension, “And then suddenly I’m fundraising for them passively or aggressively and we’re accidentally Fox.” Short, sweet and so true.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love Democratic Senator Michael Bennett of Colorado who one-upped the Republicans this week. Bennett said that Democrats will revisit health care reform also, too, particularly to ensure affordable premiums. He and the Democrats want to make a “good” law “better”.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Money Not Wisely Spent” co-stars Teapublican losers Sharron “No Alcohol” Angle and Linda “Steroid Queen” McMahon. In the end their losing campaigns led the nation in the category of dollars spent per vote received. Each of them spent $ 97.00 for each of their losing votes. Apparently money cannot buy everything.

BREAKING NEWS: Teapublican nut-job Rand Paul has not even been seated in the Senate yet and he has already started a civil war amongst his supporters which is likely to cost him his seat in the next election. First, he stabbed his Tea-Bagging supporters in the back when he reversed his campaign pledge against voting in favor of earmarks. Paul now says that he will fight for every dollar available to his state of Kentucky. Next, Paul alienated his Republican supporters by advocating reductions in defense spending. Rand Paul, Kentucky’s next one term Senator.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Stating The Obvious” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has predicted that she will face harsh personal criticism in the aftermath of the mid-term elections as pressure continues to build against her probable bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential and Cookie-Baker in Chief nomination.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Representative Joe Barton declared this week that repealing the newly enacted Health Care Reform law is his “Alomo”. Does the Texan realize that we lost the Battle of the Alomo, or has he been reading those revised Texas school text books again?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Who Get It” features moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine. She told the Kennebec Times that she blames Sarah Palin for costing the GOP Senate seats — and she thinks Palin would rather be a “celebrity commentator” than run for president and govern. Here’s hoping that Collins will soon do the right thing and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: In light of all of his admissions about authorizing torture, is it likely that major bookstores will display former President George W. Bush‘s memoir Decision Points in the “True Crime” section?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “How To Lose Your Job On Fox News” features Mort Kondracke. This week, the Fox contributor called Teapublican Rep. Michelle “Moonbat Crazy” Bachmann a “loudmouth”. His days at Fox are now numbered.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 43

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wondeful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Newly elected nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts has pissed-off Tea-Baggers and Republicans nationwide once again by breaking with the G.O.P.  and siding with Democrats by voting in favor of the Financial Reform Bill. The Obama administration can now claim another important legislative victory and this time it can boast of bi-partisan support. Maine’s Republican Senators, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins joined Brown in supporting the bill. Brown, Snowe and Collins defy their party and side with the Democrats so often on controversial legislation that it is only a matter of time before all three pull an Arlen Specter and switch parties.

THIS JUST IN: Senator David “Diapers” Vitter (R-LA) has stepped in it yet again. during an appearance on Rush Radio 99.5 in New Orleans Friday morning, During which the radio hosts joked about a high school photo of MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Vitter said that she only looked like a woman “a long time ago.” This childish remark follows almost immediately on the heels of Vitter’s statement last week which revealed him as a “Birther”. It was also revealed just a few weeks ago that after one of his staffers had pled guilty to attacking a woman with a knife, Vitter failed to terminate the staffer’s employment, and failed to even re-assign the man from his position as legislative assistant for women’s issues. Of course all of these blunders pale in comparison to the revelation a few years ago that Vitter solicited prostitutes while wearing baby diapers. In short, David Vitter is a train wreck.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s call A Spade A Spade” features Tea Party Express spokesman, Mark Williams. Williams was so upset at the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce racism amongst its members, that he penned a letter allegedly from NAACP president Benjamin Jealous to the late President Abraham Lincoln and posted it in his blog (it has now been removed). “Dear Mr. Lincoln,” the blog post read, “We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!” Williams made several modifications to his blog post after its initial posting, including removing references to bailouts as “big money welfare” that should handed “directly to us coloreds” and Tea Party demands for lower taxes preventing black Americans from getting “a wide-screen TV in every room.” So much for the Tea Party’s claim that it does not condone racism.

THIS JUST IN: I just received my invitation to the Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston wedding. The theme of the wedding is “Shotgun”. The ceremony will be performed at Our Lady of the Blessed Travesty Church in Wasilla, Alaska with the reception to follow at Mama Bear’s Buffet (BYOB).

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “What the Beck Is He Talking About?” features none other than Fox News joke Glenn Beck. In a stunning revelation of the fact that the Bible thumping alcoholic knows absolutely nothing about Christianity, Beck said this on his show last week,

This is kind of complex, because Jesus did identify with the victims. But Jesus was not a victim. He was a conqueror…Jesus conquered death. He wasn’t victimized. He chose to give his life….If he was a victim, and this theology was true, then Jesus would’ve come back from the dead and made the Jews pay for what they did. That’s an abomination.

Would someone please remind the chancellor of Glenn Beck University that the Romans crucified Jesus and not the Jews.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

Nita Dunn took him down
And Glenn’s face grew bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Senator Schilling? Umm, Thanks, But No Thanks

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Let me begin by saying that I am a proud member of Red Sox Nation. That being said however, I also believe that former pitcher and future Hall of Fame inductee, Kurt Schilling is a whack job of the highest order. I will forever be indebted to Mr. Schilling for all that he did on the baseball diamond. He was one of, if not the most, instrumental player in the Sox’ remarkable four game sweep of The Evil Empire (a/k/a New York Yankees) after having been down by three games. Take that, pinstripers! He then carried on his masterful pitching in the 2004 World Series sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals to bring the first championship to Boston since trading Babe Ruth in 1918. We will always remember the “bloody sock.”

Nonetheless, it is Schilling’s politics that cause me to doubt his sanity. He has decided to make Massachusetts his lifetime home despite the fact that he is a Republican. He campaigned for both George W. Bush and John McCain. OK, so he has guts. He is also delusional, however. This week he has floated the idea that he may run for the recently deceased Ted Kennedy’s senatorial seat. Dream on, Kurt. You do not have a chance at winning that election. First of all, Schilling cannot run as a Republican because he is presently registered as “unenrolled” and he has missed the deadline to re-register as a Republican. Secondly, and more importantly, however, he is likely to compete against a field of Bay State political heavyweights such as Joe Kennedy (yes, that Joe Kennedy), Marty Meehan (former member of House of Representatives and current Chancellor of the University of Massachusetts at Lowell), Martha Coakley (Massachusetts Attorney General) and potentially, Vickie Kennedy (Ted’s Widow). He simply does not have the pedigree to compete with these contenders especially if he is not a Democrat. All I can say to you, Kurt is “I knew Ted Kennedy and you’re no Ted Kennedy.” Stick to your right wing blogging.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I Get A Kick Out Of You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtwO2tKZmwQ

I GET A KICK THAT WE’RE BLUE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “I Get A Kick Out Of You”)

My state, thank God is not red, it is blue
We’re truly progressive, liberal yes it’s true
The only exception I know is the case
A few reps from the G.O.P., boy the Statehouse must be so lonely
Re-pub-licans now clearly see
They have been outpaced

I don’t care much for McCain
Giuliani doesn’t appeal to me
Jindal is without a damn clue
And Sarah Palin, “also, too”

Collins and Snowe they’re from Maine
It would be rich if they both made the switch
“Vacation-land” would be totally blue
Republicans would be so few

I get a kick every time the Grand Ole Party implodes before me
I get a kick cuz it’s clear to see, they obviously simply bore me

I don’t care much for McCain
Mike Huckabee doesn’t do much for me
Mitt Romney commands the flip-flopping crew
So I get a kick
Oh, it gives me a boot
I get a kick that we’re blue

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