Newsweek’s Todd “First Dude” Palin Fluff Piece

Last week Newsweek magazine released a fluff piece about Sarah Palin’s husband titled “The Model Political Spouse – Todd Palin Can Handle Another Campaign. Friends Hope He Won’t Have To Prove It.” The article was so lacking in substance that it would have been more fitting in People or US Weekly.

The author, Zev Chafets, provided approximately one and a half pages of a description of a lunch and visit with Todd Palin’s father, Jim Palin. The only thing we learned about the senior Palin was that he had never eaten calamri, he is retired, and he does not like to discuss daughter-in-law Sarah Palin’s political career. The only noteworthy tidbit gleamed from the author’s visit with Jim Palin was that the the former ex-quitting half-term governor’s household yard looks the way we would expect it to look. He wrote, “The Palins’ yard is strewn with five snowmobiles, half a dozen dusty trucks, several small aluminum boats, a couple of airplane floats, a trampoline, and a little plastic basketball hoop. ” Did we really expect anything different from the Wasilla Hillbillies?

The article also contained brief portions of the author’s conversation with one of Todd’s friends. Martin Buser the Iditarod racer hopes that, for Todd’s sake, Sarah palin does not seek the Republican nomination for president. Buser said, “He’s secure enough to have a successful woman; he’d be fine with the limelight Sarah would get as president. But would he suffer, shut up indoors at the White House? Absolutely he would.” Sort of like describing how a koala bear loses it s essence for life while being caged-up at the zoo. Buser went on to describe the type of individuals that impress Todd. He said, “We met a lot of important people, but it takes somebody real accomplished to impress a guy like Todd, an athlete at the top of his game who has won so often on his own terms.” Apparently in Buser’s opinion only accomplished athletes impress Todd. Forget about great intellects or those those folks folks who have bettered the world with great humanitarian accomplishments. Jeesh, with friends like Martin Buser, does Todd need any enemies?

Chafets’ article was most disappointing however,  for its failure to critique Todd Palin in any meaningful way. For instance, there was no mention of the fact that for 7 years (1995-2002) Palin was registered as a member of the Alaskan Independence Party which has a goal of having the state of Alaska secede from the United States of America. The article also failed to mention that on October 10, 2008, Todd Palin was cited in special investigator Stephen Branchflower’s report to the Alaskan Legislative Council. One of Branchflower’s four main findings was that Governor Sarah Palin violated Alaska’s Ethics Act when she “wrongfully permitted Todd Palin to use the governor’s office…to continue to contact subordinate state employees in an effort to find some way to get her former brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten fired.” Finally, why no mention of the published reports that Todd was a frequent recipient of massages and possibly more from an Alaskan prostitute?

You would think after reading this fluff piece that Newsweek magazine was actually a Todd “First Dude” Palin fanzine.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

“Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” song link:


 (sung to the Kenny Rogers song “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town”)

You’ve pulled on your mukluks
And combed and gelled your graying hair
First Dude are you contemplating
Leaving Mama Bear
I bought that blow-up doll
For you so you could fool around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Oh was it me
Who drove you to that massage table whore?
While I was making dough
Talking ‘bout patriotic wars
And yes, it’s true that
I’m not the wife I used to be
Oh, First Dude, you still know I’m “mavericky”

It’s hard to love a wife
Who breeds dissent and always lies
But the wants and the needs of a woman my age
Just cannot be denied
And it won’t be long I’ve heard them say until I’m not around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Todd’s leaving now cause
I just heard the slamming of the door
But frankly I don’t give a damn
If he’s on a sex tour
Still I just might move to get my gun
And put him in the ground
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town

Oh First Dude
For my sake turn around

Posted on May 31, 2011, in Songs, Todd Palin and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Newsweek: not investigating the simple-to-find truths. Like Troopergate. Like the pimping the massage therapist. Hope this post goes far and wide, lynnrockets. Good work on the song.

  2. Merry Pranksters

    Roger Ailes is certainly not spending much time ruminating over the fact that it takes somebody ‘real accomplished’ to impress a vacuous unemployed high school drop-out like Todd.

    As long as the missus refuses to state that she’s not running, the grifters’ “panhandling for SarahPac mystery tour” will continue to stain Fox News’ reputation as a ‘serious’ propaganda outlet. Ailes might as well have kept Beck!

  3. Shame on the Palins for being friends with Iditarod musher Martin Buser. Buser puts his dogs at terrible risk by racing them in the Iditarod. One of his dogs bled to death in the race. What happens to the dogs during the race includes death, paralysis, frostbite (where it hurts the most!), bleeding ulcers, bloody diarrhea, lung damage, pneumonia, ruptured discs, viral diseases, broken bones, torn muscles and tendons and sprains. At least 142 dogs have died in the Iditarod, including two dogs on a doctor’s team who froze to death in the brutally cold winds.

    During training runs, Iditarod dogs have been killed by moose, snowmachines, and various motor vehicles, including a semi tractor and an ATV. They have died from drowning, heart attacks and being strangled in harnesses. Dogs have also been injured while training. They have been gashed, quilled by porcupines, bitten in dog fights, and had broken bones, and torn muscles and tendons. Most dog deaths and injuries during training aren’t even reported.

    Iditarod dog kennels are puppy mills. Mushers breed large numbers of dogs and routinely kill unwanted ones, including puppies. Many dogs who are permanently disabled in the Iditarod, or who are unwanted for any reason, including those who have outlived their usefulness, are killed with a shot to the head, dragged, drowned or clubbed to death. “Dogs are clubbed with baseball bats and if they don’t pull are dragged to death in harnesses……” wrote former Iditarod dog handler Mike Cranford in an article for Alaska’s Bush Blade Newspaper.

    Dog beatings and whippings are common. During the 2007 Iditarod, eyewitnesses reported that musher Ramy Brooks kicked, punched and beat his dogs with a ski pole and a chain. Jim Welch says in his book Speed Mushing Manual, “Nagging a dog team is cruel and ineffective…A training device such as a whip is not cruel at all but is effective.” “It is a common training device in use among dog mushers…”

    Jon Saraceno wrote in his March 3, 2000 column in USA Today, “He [Colonel Tom Classen] confirmed dog beatings and far worse. Like starving dogs to maintain their most advantageous racing weight. Skinning them to make mittens.. Or dragging them to their death.”

    During the race, veterinarians do not give the dogs physical exams at every checkpoint. Mushers speed through many checkpoints, so the dogs get the briefest visual checks, if that. Instead of pulling sick dogs from the race, veterinarians frequently give them massive doses of antibiotics to keep them running. The Iditarod’s chief veterinarian, Stu Nelson, is an employee of the Iditarod Trail Committee. They are the ones who sign his paycheck. So, do you expect that he’s going to say anything negative about the Iditarod?

    The Iditarod, with all the evils associated with it, has become a synonym for exploitation. The race imposes torture no dog should be forced to endure.

    Margery Glickman
    Sled Dog Action Coalition,

  4. I’m thinking (like most lower 48-ers), you’d never heard of Martin Buser before reading the article. I’m a lower 48-er who is a big fan of sled dog racers, especially Martin, and I’ve met him personally. Martin is the best friend anyone could ever have. He’s worked hard, become successful, and still remains humble and kind and with a great sense of humor. I encourage you to take some time to learn more about him before making judgements on what kind of friend he is.

    • I just printed Buser’s very own words. I cannot help it if those words portray Todd Palin as a person who believes that it is only athletes that are “accomplished”.

  5. I’m no fan of Martin Buser. He puts his dogs at terrible risk by racing them in the Iditarod. One of his dogs died in the race. In the 2011 Iditarod, Buser raced his dogs without putting booties on them and their feet got infected. His dogs live at the end of four foot chains when they aren’t hauling people around. Often they live in their own fecal material. Buser lives in a mansion.

  6. Palin aside, All Alaskans can agree on one thing, Margery Glickman has no idea what she’s talking about when it comes to the treatment of sled dogs or the Iditarod. She’s from Florida and has been on this smear campaign for years, seeking to rob Alaskans of a cultural and state pride event. Mushers look out for the safety and well-being of their dogs above all else. Ms. Glickman would know this if she spent any time IN PERSON researching this issue.

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