Monthly Archives: May 2011

Obama Praises Romney For Pioneering Obamacare

President Barack Obama visited Boston, Massachusetts last week on a fundraising mission. While there, he not only raised a boat-load of cash for his re-election campaign, but he also heaped words of praise upon one of his likely GOP opponents. Obama gave former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney a back-handed complement when he said,

“Yes, we passed health care with an assist from a former Massachusetts governor. Great idea!”

Obama’s remark was greeted with applause and laughter from the throng of supporters at the Boston Center of the Arts.

CNN reports, “Obama was of course referring to his health care reform law, passed and signed last year, that he has repeatedly – and probably at time facetiously – said was modeled on the landmark 2006 health care reform law signed into law in Massachusetts by then-Governor Mitch Romney.

The similarities between the Massachusetts law and the federal law have become a major sticking point for the probable 2012 contender. As he tests the waters for a presidential run, Romney continues to face questions from conservatives who deride a provision in the both the Massachusetts and federal health care laws that requires people to buy medical insurance or pay a tax penalty.”

In essence, Obama’s Boston visit accomplished at least two goals. He raised over two million dollars and he undermined one of his likely opponents in his very own backyard.

Well played, Mr. President.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1oJuwkXr0E

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 79

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Newsone.com reports, “The Tea Party of Tennessee wants to remove incidents of slavery and genocide from American textbooks for fear they would besmirch the image of the Founding Fathers.” Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN:  Not only did we learn this week that Republican presidential candidate and serial philanderer Newt Gingrich owns business which failed to pay taxes in four states. It was also revealed by Politico.com that six years ago he owed between $250,000.00 and $500,000.00 to Tiffany’s jewelers. It sure takes a lot of money to keep three wives and who knows how many mistresses bathed in bling!

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some Teapublican tells you that it would be a mistake to raise the debt ceiling, remind them that in 1983 Ronald Reagan said this,

“The full consequences of a default — or even the serious prospect of default — by the United States are impossible to predict and awesome to contemplate. Denigration of the full faith and credit of the United States would have substantial effects on the domestic financial markets and the value of the dollar in exchange markets. The Nation can ill afford to allow such a result. The risks, the costs, the disruptions, and the incalculable damage lead me to but one conclusion: the Senate must pass this legislation before the Congress adjourns.”

THIS JUST IN: California may be following in the footsteps of Vermont regarding health care. The California Universal Healthcare Act was introduced by Sen. Mark Leno, D-San Francisco. The bill would initiate single-payer universal health care for the state of California. Now that is change we can believe in!

BREAKING NEWS:  In light of the news about Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s illicit “love child”, we can now add his name to the list of philandering “family values” Republicans which includes John Ensign, John McCain, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Mark Sanford, Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, Mark Foley, Glenn Murphy, Bob Allen, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall. Keep doing the good Lord’s work you guys!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Jon Stewart And Why We Love This Guy” features who else but Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum. For a good laugh, Stewart asks us to “Google” the name “Santorum”. Go ahead. Give it a try.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Republican Hypocrisy” is brought to us by bluemassgroup.com and stars senators Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) and Johnny Isakson (R-GA). Each of these senators had pledged to never filibuster a judicial nominee. Each of these senators voted to filibuster the nomination of Goodwin Liu to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit last week.

THIS JUST IN:  Quote of the week. While describing the GOP backlash against Newt Gingrich for advocating personal mandates for health insurance, Stephen Colbert said,

“They spanked Newt’s ass until it was so pink and swollen it looked like Newt’s face.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Moonbat-crazy Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul appeared on Fox News Sunday last weekend and claimed that Social Security and Medicare are unconstitutional and then he compared them to slavery. here is a bit of his interview with Mike Wallace:

WALLACE: You talk a lot about the Constitution. You say Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid are all unconstitutional.

PAUL: Technically, they are. … There’s no authority [in the Constitution]. Article I, Section 8 doesn’t say I can set up an insurance program for people. What part of the Constitution are you getting it from? The liberals are the ones who use this General Welfare Clause. … That is such an extreme liberal viewpoint that has been mistaught in our schools for so long and that’s what we have to reverse—that very notion that you’re presenting.

WALLACE: Congressman, it’s not just a liberal view. It was the decision of the Supreme Court in 1937 when they said that Social Security was constitutional under Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution.

PAUL: And the Constitution and the courts said slavery was legal to, and we had to reverse that.

A video clip is worth a thousand words, so let’s watch it, shall we?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Da Doo Ron Ron song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNiYECUd2ZU

DA DOO RON RON

 (sung to the Crystals song “Da Doo Ron Ron”)

Ron Paul was on “Fox Sunday” and I got a chill
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
About the Constitution, he knows nil
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
A fool on the Hill
With a voice so shrill
He’s a tea-bagging gnome
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

Knows what he is doing when he starts to lie
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
He’s a laugh-riot yes, my oh my
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
This Tea Party guy
He must be high
Wish he would just go home
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

(racist comment break)

He is sixty-seven with an addled mind
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
This buffoon harbors a racist side
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Yes, he looks benign
But, Paul’s a punch-line
Son Rand is daddy’s clone
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron

Doo Ron Ron Ron da do Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
Da doo Ron Ron Ron da doo Ron Ron
(repeat to fade)


GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD!!!

Lynnrockets hopes to be back tomorrow, but if the earthquakes start, “Armageddon outta here!!!”

Palin (Like Trump) Is A Presidential Poser

And then there was one. Inasmuch as candidate-imposters and Fox News employees Donald “Birther” Trump and Mike Huckabee(Hound) have finally made it official and dropped out of the quest for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination, that leaves only one more pretender in the mix. Sarah Palin (also a Fox News employee), continues to hint that she might seek the Republican nomination. She is a guest for hire on nearly every Fox program whereon she will not answer the question directly, but continues to insist that she has what it takes to be Commander in Chief.

Do not believe her. Like Huckabee and Trump, Sarah Palin is much more interested in simply using the presidential ploy as a means to promote the Palin product. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is well aware of the fact that she will become irrelevant the moment the American people (and tabloid magazines) know that she will not be a candidate. Consequently, she continues the charade for as long as possible with the singular goal of selling more books and landing more television gigs in her quest for celebrity status and the almighty dollar. Sarah Palin does not care about the nation, she cares only about herself. She is a prime example of a narcissist.

It is obvious to the casual observer that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be the President of the United States. Not only did she up and quit her last executive position when things got tough after serving only two years (see, ethics complaints), but since then she has demonstrated that she has a dangerous hair-trigger demeanor. Whenever she is critiqued in a newspaper or magazine, Palin instinctively counter-attacks before the ink has dried by means of the sophomoric mediums of Facebook or Twitter. Whenever an international conflict makes the news, Palin calls for an immediate knee-jerk US military response. Whenever a member of the Obama administration advocates anything (including such things as the promotion of healthy eating), Palin opposes it regardless of merit. Simply stated, Sarah Palin lacks the ability to engage in the process of well thought-out and sober decision-making.

Nonetheless, Palin continues to promote herself as a viable candidate. She appeared with BFF Greta Van Susteren (where else but on Fox News) the other night and was asked if she will run. Palin’s response?

“I think my problem is that I do have the fire in my belly. I am so adamantly supportive of the good, traditional things about America and our free enterprise system and I want to make sure that America is put back on the right track and we only do that by defeating Obama in 2012. I have that fire in my belly.”

She went on to say that what’s holding her back are “practical, pragmatic decisions” including “sacrifices that have to be made on my children’s part… but yeah, the fire in the belly, it’s there. That’s kind of my problem is that it’s such a roaring fire in my belly to preserve and restore all that’s good about America that I struggle with that every single day.”

You see, she keeps the dream alive while simultaneously providing an excuse for her inevitable announcement that she will not throw her hat in the ring. it is interesting that Sarah Palin says that she is concerned about the sacrifices that would have to be made on her children’s part if she chooses to enter the race. She did not appear to be too concerned about that back in 2008 when she elected to be on the Republican ticket before discussing the issue with her children.

Sarah Palin has about 30 seconds left of those famous 15 minutes.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Here We Go Bruins, Here We Go!!!

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their Game 3 Eastern Conference Finals victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Bruins shut-out the Lightning by a score of 2 to 0 and lead the series 2 games to 1. Well played, Bruins. Well played.

Scott Brown Beats Elders Down!

The emperor wears no clothes!

Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) may have just alienated a large segment of his support base. Last Friday the clothing-challenged Republican announced that he would vote in favor of Teapublican Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) House-passed budget plan which calls for the dissolution of Medicare and replacement with a voucher system. “The leaders will bring forward (Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan’s) budget, and I will vote for it, and it will fail,” he said. The consensus opinion of most analysts is that such a change would hurt the elderly in at least two ways. It would not only force elders to make difficult decisions about choosing from a multitude of confusing private health insurance policies at a time in their lives when (as the result of advancing age) they are less capable of making such decisions, but it would also subject them to being personally responsible for increasing premium and medical costs.

The Boston Globe reports that after “the House passed the budget, Senate majority leader Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, vowed that his chamber will hold a vote on it, forcing Brown and other potentially vulnerable Republicans in the 2012 elections to take a stance on the cuts. A vote is expected before Memorial Day.” It is the Democrats’ intent to force GOP Senators to either vote in favor of curtailing benefits to senior citizens (which may cause a voter backlash from this ever-growing voting bloc) or to vote against the Ryan plan as passed in the House (which will highlight a fracturing of Republican unity on the issue). It is a win/win situation for the Party of Roosevelt.

Of course Massachusetts Democrats are also determined to win back Edward M. Kennedy’s senate seat and Brown’s rejection of senior citizens may be the spark they need to accomplish that goal. Democrats were complacent in the special election of January 2010 and consequently, Scott Brown surprisingly won with the assistance of out of state Tea Party support and money. But a re-dedicated Democratic voting base re-emerged in the November mid-term elections and Democrats were victorious in every state-wide election. Furthermore, inasmuch as Brown has voted against the Tea Party on such issues as the financial regulatory overhaul and the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, his support from the group is in question.

Christen Varley, president of the Greater Boston Tea Party, told the Boston Herald that Brown may not be able to count on the Tea Party support in 2012. “I’m looking at the ‘Scott Brown’ bumper sticker on the back of my car and having serious doubts (about him),” Varley said. “We’ll all have to independently make a decision in 2012 about whether we’ll support him again.”

Scott Brown is now vulnerable to defeat in 2012. His decision not to assist law enforcement by means of identifying his alleged sexual molester and thereby potentially allowing a child molester to remain at large does not sit well with Massachusetts residents regardless of party affiliation. Now his lack of support for senior citizens gives potential Democratic opponents another point of attack. One confirmed challenger, Newton mayor Setti Warren said,

“If he indeed does plan to vote for the Ryan budget, that is an affront to workers, families, and seniors across Massachusetts. There are approximately 1 million Medicare beneficiaries in our state, yet the Ryan budget would gut and privatize that program.’’

The Boston Globe also reports that David Certner, legislative policy director of the AARP, the nation’s largest group representing retired Americans, said that the elderly are protective of Medicare because it plays such a huge role in their lives and well-being.

“They certainly perceive attacks on the program as something that is very much something they’re not interested in,’’ he said.

This Medicare vote could spell the end for Scott Brown’s US Senate tenure. Let’s hope so.

UPDATE

This just in!!! Scott Brown has suddenly pulled a Mitt Romney-sized flip-flop regarding his support for the Republicans’ Medicare Destruction Act. He appeared on a local Boston talk radio program yesterday and here is what transpired:

Radio Host: This specific proposal, the Ryan proposal to privatize Medicare, if it came up, does it have your support or it doesn’t?

Brown: First of all, it’s very difficult to get into hypotheticals because it’s not coming up, but the way that the Medicare and Medicaid proposals and a lot of other proposals in that bill are right now, no, I can’t support it, and I’ve made that very clear.

Wow, talk about reversing yourself. Does Scott brown have any firmly held convictions or beliefs?

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

You two would make quite a pair
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – you’ll get kicked out the door
Scott Brown – Won’t take a minute more
Scott Brown – Private life’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Michele Bachmann To Join The Republican Candidates’ Insane Clown Posse

Has there ever been a better example of addition through subtraction? Think about this for a moment. In just the last few weeks a bunch of potential Republican presidential candidates have chickened-out at the thought of opposing President Barack Obama in the 2012 election. Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Mike Huckabee(Hound) and Donald “Birther” Trump realized that they had no chance of beating the incumbent and so they wisely ran away with their tails between their legs.

In their absence however, arose wacky Michele Bachmann. The Teapublican Rep. from Minnesota brings more crazy to the table than all three of the aforementioned quitters combined. Luckily for those of us in the audience, it appears more likely that she will run for the presidency. CBS News reports that Michele Bachmann’s insiders say they expect her to get into the presidential race in June–and that Mike Huckabee’s decision not to run created a significant opening for her.

“Michele has been receiving an outpouring of encouragement to run for president–increased phone calls and online messaging,” said a senior adviser. “I can now say it is very likely she will decide to run for president.”

If you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

What in the wide, wide world of nonsense is this crackpot talking about? Michele Bachmann could no doubt give Sarah Palin a run for her money in an insanity contest. Her decision to take-on President Obama when more serious contenders have elected to stand on the sidelines is pure folly. You see, the dropouts are smarter than Bachmann. Bill Press of TheHill.com put it best when he said,

“They know the economy’s coming back, under Obamanomics.

They know millions and millions of Americans, who could never afford it before, now have health insurance, under ObamaCare.

They know Obama created 1.3 million new jobs in 2010 alone — more than George W. Bush created in eight years. And that April 2011 was the third straight month where new job growth exceeded 200,000.

And they know gas prices are coming down.

In other words, they know that, for any Republican, running against Barack Obama is a losing proposition. And they wanted no part of it.”

In other words, those dropouts already know what Michele Bachmann will soon learn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

The Charade Is Over: Trump No More Than A Lump

America has spoken to Donald Trump and they said, “You’re fired!”

The most recent poll from Politico and George Washington University indicates more than two-thirds of Americans think the Republican bankrupt-business mogul and reality television host has “no chance” of ever winning the White House. CNN reports that the poll which was released Monday, shows 71 percent think a Trump candidacy is a non-starter while only 26 percent think there is a chance the reality television star could beat President Obama. The Politico/GWU poll surveyed 1,000 likely voters from May 8-12 and carries a sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.

To add insult to injury, those numbers numbers follow a similarly-poor showing for Trump in a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released last week. That survey showed Trump has an unfavorable rating of 64 percent and would lose to Obama by 22 points in a general election matchup.

Will The Donald look as miserable when he hears this news as he did at the White House Correspondents Dinner while both President Obama and Seth Meyers were lambasting him? Apparently so, because he announced yesterday that he will not run for the presidency. He has chickened-out, but not without some bravado. Indeed, he said, “I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election.”

Donald Trump lives in a fantasy land. Honestly, think about this simple question for a moment; how could Americans ever trust Trump to handle the economy when he is about the only person in the world who could not make a profit by owning casinos. It looks like America has exercised its right to choice and it has elected to abort the birther.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Big Bad John song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKGhwwVgKY

BIG DUMB DON

(sung to the Johnny Cash song “Big Bad John”)

Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Every Tuesday at nine, you will see him arrive
He stands 6 foot 5, weighs 289
A reality show host who’s not very hip
He fires contestants if they should give him any lip, he’s Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

He wears a toupee atop his big dome
Donald Trump acts like a clown, still he seeks the throne
A dim-witted putz, he’s not a bright guy
Claims he robbed Quadafi but that’s a lie – Dumb Don
The nit-wit hails from the borough called Queens
And he has managed to file too many bankruptcies
Filed so many you can’t count them on one hand
Yet Trump still thinks he’ll lead the country to the promised land – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Head made of clay and he loses every dime
He owned a football team that lost all the time
Built a casino, it did not last
Then the taxpayers bailed out his sorry ass – Dumb Don
Through the dust and the smoke as his empire fell
Crawled this maggot of a man that will soon rot in hell
Called a willing banker and he begged for a loan
But when asked for collateral he said “it’s all been blown” – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

And now Donald Trump thinks that the Lord up above
Will stroke his election dreams with a velvet glove
Yet little does he know that he can’t be saved
Donald’s campaign is headed to the grave – Dumb Don
Don Trump won’t earn his seat in DC Town
Let’s all watch his big smile turn to a frown
And as The Donald learns life is unkind
All of us just knew it was the end of the line, for Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Let’s hope that we are done with this worthless twit
Even Tea-Baggers know Trump’s an idiot
If only the future could be planned
We would love to say, “You’re Fired!” to this shell of a man – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Beck v. Meghan McCain, Cindy McCain v. Beck, Meghan McCain v. Beck and O’Reilly v. Beck

Glenn Beck is reduced to tears...again!

As we have said so many, many times in the past, “Is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives/Republicans fight amongst themselves?” This week we were treated to a real dandy of a tag-team war of words. The pugilists were Glenn Beck, Meghan McCain, Cindy McCain and Bill O’Reilly.

The brouhaha began when Failed GOP presidential nominee John McCain’s daughter Meghan appeared with other scantily clad celebrities in a public service announcement which promoted the use of sunblock to prevent skin cancer.

The ad appeared to be a well intentioned method to draw attention to the correlation between the sun’s rays and skin cancer.

The ever-immature and uneducated Glenn Beck did not see it that way however. Rather than commenting upon the message of the ad, the soon-to-be former Fox News host chose to mimic a 10 year old. While discussing the ad and Meghan McCain’s physical appearance on his radio program, he repeatedly pretended to vomit at the sight of the young McCain. he even suggested that she cover herself with a burka “to be extra safe”.

After hearing what Beck said about her daughter, Cindy McCain responded on Twitter: “I’m so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox: Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn, you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You aren’t.”

Not to be outdone by mom, Meghan blasted Beck in a Daily Beast column. She held no punches when she wrote,

“As a person who is known for his hot body, you must find it easy to judge the weight fluctuations of others, especially young women. If any of your daughters are ever faced with some kind of criticism of their physical appearance or weight, they should call me, because women’s body image is another issue I feel passionate about, and have become accustomed to dealing with and speaking with young women about on my college tours.”

Before Beck could manage a counter-attack, the young McCain tore into him again when she wrote,

“While we’re on the subject of you vomiting on air, maybe we should have a little talk. Clearly you have a problem with me, and possibly women in general, but the truth is, it’s 2011 and I heard your show on Fox was canceled. Isn’t that an indication that the era of the shock-jock pundit is over? Don’t you think that’s a sign you should be pulling it back a little? I mean, if you’re too conservative and outrageous for Fox, that should tell you something. There really is no need to make something like my participation in a skin-cancer PSA into a sexist rant about my weight and physical appearance, because I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Glenn: you are the only one who looks bad in this scenario…”

Beck was teetering and on the verge of suffering a TKO when Fox News host Bill O’Reilly jumped into the fray. The big surprise however, was that the falafel-waving big-mouth did not come to the defense of his Fox News associate. No, O’Reilly piled-on with the McCains. With Beck appearing on his show last Friday, O’Reilly surprisingly said, “If I was Cindy McCain, I’d slap the hell out of you,” Then, he added that he would invite Cindy McCain to his offices and “I’ll let her beat the hell out of you.”

Senator John McCain then told CNN he wouldn’t “dignify” Beck’s behavior with a comment.

7…8…9…10… Glenn Beck is down and out for the count!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Desperado song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BwOXlGbW6Q

Desperado

(sung to the Eagles song “Desperado”)

Desperado, you better come to your senses
Your racist offenses, so public now
Oh, you’re a hard one
But this will be your last season
The Fox boys are teasin’ you
Your show’s all done now

After your unseemly cryin’, boy
We knew you were unstable
We have all seen you fall apart on your set

Now it seems to me, you don’t bring
One sane sentence to the table
But what could one expect from crazy Glenn Beck

Desperado, you better fetch that old plunger
You’ll soon be flushed under that porcelain throne
Your kingdom, your kingdom fell and it’s not all that shocking
You just kept on talking till you were all alone

Will your deep dark soul hibernate in slime?
Your name, Glenn Beck, constitutes a crime
As does most everything that you say
Your sponsors all fleeing your show
Ain’t it funny as we watch them go away?

Desperado, You’ve shown us all what nonsense is
The prevailing sense is, you only hate
Your tears are rainin’, cuz you know nobody loves you
The Lord in Heaven up above you
(heaven up above you)
The Lord in Heaven up above you will decide your fate

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 78

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell (a Bowdoin College alum I might add) is resigning as the Obama administration’s Mideast envoy. Mitchell played a key role in Clinton-era negotiations regarding the status of Northern Ireland that resulted in the Good Friday Peace Agreement. This is not good news.

THIS JUST IN:  In the latest AP poll, 60% of respondents said they approved of Barack Obama‘s job performance, compared to 39% who disapproved. That’s the best rating Obama has received since May 2009 when, riding high after his inauguration, 64% of Americans approved of his job performance. This is good news.

BREAKING NEWS:  In other polling news, Public Policy Polling, found Donald Trump garnering only 8 percent of potential Republican primary voters, down from 26 percent who said they would support him if he ran in PPP’s previous survey. That plunge in support was enough to drop him from a solid first place to a tie for fifth place. So much for The Donald and his birther obsession!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Fighting The Good Fight” features Bernie Sanders and Jim McDermott. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) announced this week that he introduced legislation to provide health care for every American through a Medicare-for-all type single-payer system. Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) filed a companion bill in the House to provide better care for more patients at less cost by eliminating the middle-man role played by private insurance companies that rake off billions of dollars in profits. The twin measures, both called the American Health Security Act of 2011, would provide federal guidelines and strong minimum standards for states to administer single-payer health care programs.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Really Distorted And Creepy Remakes Of School-House Rock” features failed 2008 GOP candidate for President, Mike Huckabee and his “Learn Our History” cartoon series. Have a look:

Sure makes you pine for “Conjunction Junction” doesn’t it?

THIS JUST IN: The Tea Party Patriots are advocating an initiative to pressure public schools into teaching the US Constitution based on the writings of W. Cleon Skousen who has suggested such outlandish things as slaves being a happy bunch of folks. MotherJones.com however, informs us that Doug Kendall, President of the Constitutional Accountability Center (a think tank and public interest law firm) is none to happy about this development. He says,

“I defy the Tea Party Patriots to find one credible historian willing to support their view of the Constitution’s history. Before the Tea Party gets to go into school and teach our children about the Constitution, they need to find a tenured professor on the history faculty on one of any of the 50 highest-rated universities in the United States who will vouch for the accuracy of their teachings. To qualify to teach America’s children about the Constitution you need to do more than dress up like James Madison.

The Tea Party Patriots are peddling constitutional gobbledygook masquerading as history. Yet whether it is Tea Party organizations misrepresenting American history, or Tea Party politicians like Rep. Michele Bachmann not knowing what state the battles of Lexington and Concord were fought in, the Tea Party has utterly disqualified itself from serious discussion of our Constitution’s text and history. America’s school boards must flatly reject the Tea Party Patriots’ attempts to muscle their bad history into our children’s classrooms.”

Bravo, Mr. Kendall!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly” features the recently resigned GOP Sen. John Ensign. NPR.org reports, “Former Sen. John Ensign of Nevada broke federal law, made false statements to the Federal Election Commission and obstructed a Senate Ethics Committee’s investigation into his conduct, the panel said Thursday in a scathing report that sent the matter to the Justice Department for possible prosecution.” Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark!

THIS JUST IN:  Former failed GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) announced last night that he will not run again in 2012. He joins other Republican scaredy-cats Haley Barbour, Marco Rubio, Chris Christy, Jeb Bush, Jim Demint, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “I Double Dare You” features New jersey high school student Amy Myers who is is challenging Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to a debate on civics and the U.S. Constitution. In an open letter to to Bachmann, Myers of Cherry Hill, N.J., said, “I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted.” “I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.” I’ll take Myers in this one!

THIS JUST IN:  After President Obama announced that he would not release photos of the slain Osama bin Laden because the terrorist “is not a trophy” and “we (i.e the US) do not need to spike the football” and because it would inflame the Muslim world and endanger our troops, conservative windbag Ann Coulter felt the need to speak up. While appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News (where else?) program, Coulter chastised the President and said, “We paid for it, we ought to be able to see it.” He then went on to insult the president by saying, “he seems to know less about Arabs than, you know, my dog. Certainly, this Irishman from Long Island knows more.” Who in the wide, wide world of Fox News is “the the Irishman from Long island”? He then wondered off into the ridiculous by saying, ” he’s spiking the football from now until Election Day on this. So, don’t talk down to us about your moral superiority, we don’t need a victory lap. That’s beyond us. And Americans can’t handle this? I think Americans just handled what you showed on your program. And if Americans can handle Hillary Clinton’s ankles, they can handle this photo.” Hilary Clinton’s ankles? Really, can this guy ever have a conversation without delving into the inane? Ann Coulter just might be the shallowest man in America.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJiHp-2CmVY

COULTER

(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

(fade)

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