Category Archives: Oprah Winfrey

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART II)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Fox Walks While Television Rocks

Fox News has a new slogan. It is “Heartless and Callous”. Is there any other way to describe the network’s dearth of coverage of the Haitian earthquake and its devastating aftermath? In short, one of the poorest nations on earth was struck by one of the worst natural disasters in recent history, resulting in a present death toll in excess of 100,000.00 and growing, coupled with one third of the nation’s population clinging to life and Fox News has remained largely silent. When compared to nearly every other network’s time allotted to coverage of the tragedy, Fox News consistently devoted less time to coverage.

The Fox News network’s indifference to the Haitian tragedy was never more conspicuous than on last Friday night. The cable news channel refused to air Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief. Instead, it broadcast its regular lineup of The O’Reilly Factor and Hannity. To add insult to injury, neither of those programs even devoted a segment to the Haitian disaster. Instead, Bill O’Reilly had segments on Sarah Palin’s body language while on Oprah, an interview with Glenn Beck about Glenn Beck and a segment on the deterioration of “far left media”. Sean Hannity’s program consisted of an interview with Karl Rove, Obama’s approval ratings with regard to health care reform and coverage of newly elected senator Scott Brown.

Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief was a telethon which was broadcast worldwide to raise funds for Haitian victims through organizations including Oxfam America, Partners In health, UNICEF, the Red Cross, United Nations World Food Programme, Yele Haiti Foundation and the Clinton Bush Haiti Foundation. There were  segments by George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts and Halle Berry. There were performances by Bruce Springsteen, Alicia Keys, John Legend, Kid Rock, Keith Urban, Sheryl Crow, Beyonce´, Madonna and U2′s Bono and The Edge.

The telethon was broadcast by the following media outlets:

MTV, ET, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, BET, The CW, HBO, MTV, VH1, CMT, PBS, TNT, Showtime, Comedy Central, Bravo, E! Entertainment, National Geographic Channel, Oxygen, G4, CENTRIC, Current TV, Fuse, MLB Network, EPIX, Palladia, SoapNet, Style, Discovery Health, Planet Green, CNN en Español, HBO Latino and Canadian networks, including CBC Television, CTV, Global Television and MuchMusic. The event will be live streamed online globally across sites including YouTube, Hulu, MySpace, Fancast, AOL, MSN.com, Yahoo, Bing.com, BET.com, CNN.com, MTV.com, VH1.com and Rhapsody, and on mobile via Alltel, AT&T, Sprint, Verizon and FloTV. “Hope for Haiti Now” will also air internationally on BET International, CNN International and national geographic.

Fox News‘ conspicuous absence from this lineup is indicative of its indifference to those in need and its single minded purpose of promoting an agenda solely dedicated to furthering the policies of the selfish far right. perhaps the network’s new slogan should be, “Fox News: Fairly Unbalanced”.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Let Em In song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe990JYsbNo&feature=related

LET FOX IN

(sung to the Paul McCartney and Wings song “Let ‘Em In”)

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah

Someone’s not “fair and balanced”
Somebody’s missing brain cells
Someone’s psyche is imbalanced
Somebody’s wearing pastels

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Yeah ,yeah, yeah, let Fox in

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Sarah Palin
Change the channel and let Fox in
Yeah

(musical interlude)

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Van Susteren
Change the channel and let Fox in
Oh,yeah

Someone’s talking to Newt Gingrich
Somebody’s starting to shout
Someone called Hillary a bitch
Somebody’s starting to pout

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah ,yeah, let Fox in, let ‘em in now

Doo doo doo doo da doo doo
Doo doo doo da doo da

Neil Cavuto, O’Reilly
Glenn Beck and Hannity
Huckabee and Sarah Palin
Change the channel and let Fox in
Oh,yeah

Someone’s sniveling on the tube
Somebody’s startin’ to yell
Someone’s sportin’ new boobs
Somebody reeks of hair gel

Do me a favor,
Change the channel and let Fox in
Ooh yeah , yeah , yeah ,yeah ,yeah

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 19

Good morning everyone. Here are a few mix & match news stories from the last week that have been bouncing around in my empty cranium.

BREAKING NEWS:  Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh insist upon saying that the Obama administration is raping the citizens of this country. Why do these two ultra right-wing pundits so frequently use the rape analogy? Is it some sort of racist insult wherein they insinuate a certain race is more likely to commit a vicious sex crime? Consider these quotes:

Glenn Beck:  “People in New York, you’re being raped by your government — raped.”, and “We’re the young girl saying ‘No, no, help me,’ and the government is Roman Polanski.”

Rush Limbaugh:  “Feinberg is following orders and I guaran-damn-tee you Obama said: “You get up there and you rape ‘em. And you make ‘em poor. And you make ‘em pay.”, and “Get ready to get gang-raped again, folks.” There was also this gem, “We are being told that we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to bend over, grab the ankles, bend over forward, backward, whichever, because his father was black, because this is the first black president.” How about this defense of Sarah Palin, “This is pure sexism in Alaska on the part of these old boys trying to get rid of Sarah Palin, and she didn’t put up with it, and she didn’t bend over and let them have their way.”

These guys and their perverted adolescent talk are sickening.

THIS JUST INWe have oft commented on Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off that everything that Sarah Palin touches somehow turns to manure. Remember when she dropped the puck at the St. Louis Blues hockey game during the campaign after which the team promptly went on a multi-game losing streak? Or when she vehemently defended the character and anti-gay marriage position of former Miss California, Carrie Jean Prejean, after which the woman’s character was called into question because of a potential 15 to 20 explicit sex tapes that she made and transmitted to others. How about when Palin most recently got involved in New York’s 23rd District Congressional race by shunning her own Republican Party nominee as being too moderate and endorsing the Conservative Party candidate only to split the vote and lead the Democrats to victory in a district in which they had not won since the Civil War? Well, Palin has done it again. After appearing on Oprah this week, Oprah Winfrey has now taken a cue from the former ex-quitting governor and announced that she too will now quit arguably the most popular talk show in television history. The curse of the “Alaska Disaster” lives on.

BREAKING NEWSFox News was exposed as being anything but “Fair and Balanced” once again this week. Only a few weeks after being caught by Jon Stewart of the Comedy Channel‘s The Daily Show of having attempted to falsely inflate the number of protesters at Michele Bachmann’s recent Tea-Bagger rally in DC by means of showing video footage of a different (better attended event), Fox has done the same thing again. This time Fox attempted to falsely inflate the number of Sarah Palin supporters at a book signing by showing video footage of a campaign rally which took place more than a year ago rather than footage of the actual book signing. This is another example of why the Fox News network simply cannot be trusted to honestly report the news.

THIS JUST IN: To be fair, we must admit that at least one Fox News pundit held a Republican’s feet to the fire this week in a segment of an interview which was not simply a bunch of softball questions. On Thursday evening, while interviewing Sarah Palin the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Bill O’Reilly brought up the topic of the disastrous Katie Couric interview as follows:

O’Reilly: Katie Couric’s a different story. Katie Couric asked you an easy question and you booted it, governor.

Palin: I sure did.

[Plays video]

COURIC: What newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media —

COURIC: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.

PALIN: Um, all of them …

O’Reilly: Why did you boot it? I mean, if somebody asks what do you read, I say I read the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, I could reel them off in my sleep, you couldn’t do it.

Palin: Well, of course I could. Of course I could.

O’Reilly: Well, why didn’t you?

Palin: It’s ridiculous to suggest that or say I couldn’t tell people what I read. Because by that point already, although it was relatively early in that multi-segmented interview with Katie Couric — it was, it was quite obvious that it was going to be a bit of an annoying interview with a badgering of the questions. It seemed to me that she didn’t know anything about Alaska, about my job as governor, about my accomplishments as mayor or governor, my record. And a question like that, though, yeah, I booted it, I screwed up, I should have been more patient and more gracious in my answer, it seemed to me the question was more along the lines of — Do you read? How do you stay in touch with the real world?

O’Reilly: See, that was your inexperience.

BREAKING NEWS:  Thank goodness for small miracles. The Boston Globe reported Thursday that Republican California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will never again seek public office of any kind. Now if he will only stay out of the movies and consequently, out of our collective sight.

THIS JUST IN:  How about all of that hypocritical Republican outrage at President Barack Obama’s respectful bow to Japan’s Emperor  Akihito ? Do they remember Eisenhower’s bow to Charles DeGaulle of France of all places? Nixon’s bow to Japan’s  Emperor Hirohito who by the way, was the person who ordered the attack on Pearl Harbor? Or how about George W. Bush’s hand holding and kissing of Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah? This type of criticism simply exposes the Republican Party as a bastion of pettiness with a lack of serious political ideas.

BREAKING NEWS: This is good news. The U.S. Senate last night voted in favor of opening debate on its version of a health care reform bill (why don’t they simply refer to it as what it is, a health insurance reform bill?). It passed by a vote of 60 t0 40. The 60 votes in favor prevented a Republican filibuster at this stage of the process although all 40 Senate Republicans voted against the bill. The “Party of No” has lived up to its reputation once again by voting not against the substantive content of the proposed bill, but against even having a debate which would weigh the pros and cons of the bill. Why are the Republicans afraid to even allow Senate members to debate a bill? Isn’t public congressional debate the foundation upon which our country and its rule of law was created. The Republicans are always quick to allege that know what the “founding fathers” would have done. Does anyone believe that the “founding fathers” would attempt to stop debate in the congress that they just created? We do not think so. The Republicans should steal their party motto from Nancy Reagan, “Just Say No.”

Inasmuch as the Republican Party is doing everything within its power to hasten its own extinction, we thought that it would be appropriate if today’s song parody was based upon a tune about another extinct animal, the unicorn. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Unicorn Song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch4N4KB3XaI&feature=related

THE REPUBLICAN SONG

(sung to the Irish Rovers song “The Unicorn Song”)

A long time ago when the States were new
There were lots of political parties so let’s name a few
They bickered and they fought in this land that was free
But always the sore loser was the G.O.P.

There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
Yet the sorriest of all was the G.O.P.

The Lord seen some sinnin’ from some of his men
So he grouped ‘em all together in a single pen
He said, “I need a name for you barbarians”
“You’ll be Republicans”
And behave like those…

Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
The sorriest bunch was still the G.O.P.

Wise Abe Lincoln was there to answer the call
He set free all those slaves so there’d be freedom for all
Teddy Roosevelt did his duty too
These were good deeds well overdue
Just like…

Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
It looked like there was hope for the G.O.P.

Then came the late 20th century
Them Republicans were up to their old tricks again
Dick Nixon and Watergate led to defeat
Oh, that crooked G.O.P.

There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Then came Ford and Reagan and George Bushes one and two
And reduced the G.O.P. to an old worn shoe

The voters started movin’ to the other side
And with them the hopes of all Republicans died
The Democrats came down and wooed Arlen Specter away
That’s how the Republican Party died and floated away

You’ll see Independents and Democrats too
Green Party members from states both Red and Blue
Libertarians and members of the A.I.P.
We’ll never hear no more from the G.O.P.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 18

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS: Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show which airs nightly on the Comedy Central network is a more accurate news source than Fox News. Last week the writers of the comedy program discovered that Fox’s Sean Hannity had deceived viewers of his program into believing that Michele Bachman’s Tea-Bagging protest in Washington DC was attended by many thousands more people than were actually in attendance. While commenting on the massive attendance, Hannity showed video of the teeming masses to prove his point. Problem is, Jon Stewart astutely pointed out that the video was not of Bachmann’s event at all. Rather, the video was from the September 12th protest. When the deception became public Hannity was forced to apologize on air. The apology was only half-hearted however, as Hannity said the older video footage was inadvertently inserted into the story. Sure it was Sean. That sounds plausible. No go and take your medicine.

THIS JUST IN: This week Lou Dobbs quit his broadcasting position on CNN. For months Dobbs had found himself in the cross-hairs of a Latino sponsored advertiser boycott of his show. The boycott resulted from his persistent (yet false and misleading) reporting that illegal immigrants were the cause of most, if not all, of the nation’s problems ranging from unemployment to leprosy. Dobb’s on-air explanation as to why he was quitting was as confusing and uninformative as that of the other famous quitter, Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS: While still licking his wounds from the Jon Stewart smackdown, Sean Hannity invited former (dare we say, “washed-up”) movie actor/martial artist Chuck Norris on his program. When asked by Hannity if he would enter politics, Norris responded by saying that he would kill his opponents and members of Congress that he believed were dishonest. I do not think that this was the response that Hannity anticipated.

THIS JUST IN: More on the clowns at Fox News. When it was announced last week that alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed would face trial in a New York Federal District Court rather than in a military tribunal, most of the self titled Fox commentators were outraged. Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly all reported that trials in the federal court system would be too lenient and provide a stage upon which the defendant could state his beliefs. As evidence of this, O’Reilly drew attention to the four year trial of Zacarias Moussaoui. Of course he failed to mention that Moussaoui was actually convicted. Why do Fox commentators always claim that they believe in and want to protect American institutions and in the very next breath emote distrust of the cornerstone of all American institutions, the rule of law and an open court system?

BREAKING NEWS: Finally, the week would not be complete without more news from the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Her ghost-written memoir, Going Rogue will be released for sale this week but advance copies of it have been released to the press. Needless to say, many who have seen it believe that it is chock-full of lies. The most vocal of critics thus far have been former John McCain campaign officials. One of them, Nicolle Wallace, the former White House Communications Director for George W. Bush, says that Palin’s description of the events surrounding the disastrous Katie Couric interview are completely false. Also too, McCain’s former presidential campaign manager, Steve Schmidt says that the portions of the book that describe his interactions with Palin are, “total fiction.” Ouch !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sunday Papers song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r1ub00btE&feature=related

SUNDAY PAPERS

(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue” Is Banned By Wasilla, AK Public Library

palin-banned-books

The Sarah Palin media blitz is now in a full court press. Have you noticed that since last week she gives more interviews each day than she gave during the entire time that she unsuccessfully ran for Vice President? As usual however, her dementia becomes more apparent each time she opens her mouth. The contradictions are fast and furious.

By now everyone has seen the released snippets of Palin’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. She tells Oprah (regarding the Katie Couric interview), “if you thought that was a good interview, I don’t know what a bad interview is because I knew it was a bad interview.” Yet despite this seemingly honest admission that she made a dope of herself on national television, Palin has a different take on the subject in her soon to be released ghost-written memoir. In Going Rogue she says that she was blindsided by Katie Couric’s devastating interviews last year because John McCain’s aides lulled her into thinking the CBS anchorwoman was a fan. She then writes that  Couric was,“badgering,” had a “partisan agenda” and edited out Palin’s substantive remarks in favor of “gotcha” lines. So which one is it, Sarah? Did you give a poor performance because of your lack of preparation and/or knowledge, or did you never have a chance to shine because of the “gotcha media”? Make up your mind for once, will you please.

If there was ever a book to be banned by her hometown public library for the betterment of society, Going Rogue might be it. There is nothing new to be learned about the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska therein. Palin simply continues to portray herself as the innocent victim of the media, John McCain’s staff and the world in general. The New York Daily News reports that one McCain staffer said this about the tome, “This will reinforce the fact that 25% of the country loves her and everybody else thinks she’s not up to it.” The paper also says that another former McCain staffer predicts the book will kill off whatever presidential dreams she may harbor for 2012. Let’s hope so.

It should also be noted that Sarah Palin had some other bad news this week. As the result of faulty wiring at her Wasilla, Alaska home, her private library was completely destroyed by fire. Both books went poof… up in flames, and Palin had not yet even finished coloring one of them.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Sarah Palin Book Tour = “Signing and Whining”

Cartoon-Palin-Goin-Rogue

The Going Rogue book tour should be titled Going Rural. Sarah Palin the criticism-challenged former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is taking no chances while hawking her ghostwritten tome this month. In an attempt to avoid any negative comment she has chosen to avoid  book signings in most every large city or part of the nation that might be considered Democratic, liberal or progressive. This action should not indicate that she is a coward however, because she has elected to subject herself to hard-hitting televised interviews with almost every single Fox Network host that she could find including Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren. As always, Palin is once again proving herself to be a real “mavericky” risk taker.

This leads us to today’s song parody which describes Palin’s “Signing and Whining Tour” along with the tune to Jimmy Buffett’s upbeat Volcano. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please be patient with the song link as it takes a little bit of time to load and start playing.

Volcano song link: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Volcano/1030500

GOING ROGUE

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she goes on book tour

She might visit Tennessee
They sure love the G.O.P.
Maybe next South Caroline
Sanford loves a nice behind

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Now Sarah she did say to me
She will not visit Philly
Politics there, much too hot
I said, “How about Boston”, she answered back, “Not”

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

She wants to see what she’s worth
And face no questions of Trig’s birth
She must go where folks are dumb
She knows right where they are from

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

She cannot mingle
In New York City
Baltimore and/or
Buffalo (no no no)
Don’t want to land in no
Blue Rhode Island
They will tell her just where to go (ho ho ho)

Don’t want to land in
No San Francisco
Or up in Detroit City (no no no)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
That’s Kennedy territory (no no no)

She will be panned
While in Chicago
She is no fan
Of Ms. Winfrey (no no no)
She’s better off in Mississippi
Folks down there can barely read

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When when she hawks Going Rogue!

Sarah Palin: The Book Tour Bore

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Oprah and Palin to team-up for some comedy.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is the epitome of “the gift that keeps on giving.” Just this week we learned that not only is she job hunting by means of posting her resume on LinkedIn, the Facebook for grown-ups, but now it has been revealed that she will appear for an interview with Oprah on the eve of the release of her ghostwritten pop-up memoir. Wow, where to begin?

Palin is either in such dire financial straits that she will do anything to get a new job and stir up some book sales, or she is a dim-witted glutton for punishment. Then again, those choices are not mutually exclusive. Inasmuch as yesterday’s post dealt with her new means of job search, today we will focus on the Oprah appearance.

First of all, does Palin think that Oprah Winfrey’s audience has any use for her feminist-belittling brand of politics? Her stance against equal pay for equal work in the workplace and her penchant for charging rape victims for rape kits is not likely to sit well with those women who adore the female empowering posture of Oprah. Then there is Oprah Winfrey herself. It was Winfrey’s fierce opposition to the McCain/Palin ticket that triggered her first ever public endorsement for the Presidency, and it was not for the duo of Old and Dumb. We can only hope that prior to the interview Oprah gets an English translation of Palin’s book so that she can do some fact checking in advance. When one considers how hilariously poor Palin performed in her interviews with Gibson and Couric last Fall, we can only hope that the Oprah interview produces more of the same. How familiar can Palin be with the content of a book about herself that she did not author. It will not be Frost/Nixon, but this could be one interview for the ages if Winfrey plays it tough. Keep your fingers crossed.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun with a song parody directed at the Oprah/Palin interview.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

OPRAH’S-CABANA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah,
In search of dough girl
She had a beehive in her hair and stinging rhetoric to spare
She hated questions which she coined “Gotcha”
But she wanted to be a star,
On TeeVee while with Oprah
She feared becoming poor
So she had a book tour
She’d do this show and then another
And so many more

She’s on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She would be a star just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She lacked compassion but had stewardess fashion
And with Oprah…she’d find some love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

Her name was Oprah,
She shined like diamonds
While in that interviewer’s chair, she would give Palin a scare
And when she skewered that Holy Roller
It would be Palin’s au revoir
That interview will leave a scar
Then Sarah you know who,
Will blame Oprah’s stage crew
Her winking eyes will be all bloodshot
She will cry, “Boo-Hoo”

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She looked like a chimp with banana
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She had a passion for air hostess fashion
But with Oprah…she got no love
(Oprah Oprah’s-Cabana)

(Oprah  Oprah-Cabana) (Oprah-Cabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Oprah Oprah-Cabana)
(Sarah P.,  rhymes with Hannity)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Palin,
She was a Guv’nor
But that was several months ago before she “went with the flow”
Now she’s a bimbo and she is failin’
A lip-sticked pig beyond compare
And with enemies to spare
She was a star that shined
But only with her kind
She was uncouth and she was a phony
Before she resigned

While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
A fading starlet just like Vanna
While on Oprah, Oprah’s-Cabana
She took a thrashin’ while her teeth were gnashin’
And with Oprah…she got no love

(Oprah) That’s our failed Guv
Oprah’s-Cabana
Oprah’s-Cabana
(Fade to end)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111 other followers