Oops, She Did It Again! (Sarah Palin Redux)

As you all know by now, Harper Collins will release Sarah Palin’s new work of fiction on November 23, 2010. This time however, there will be no question as to who actually wrote the book. You might recall that the educationally limited Palin was forced to employ a ghost-writer to pen her autobiography. That would seem especially strange inasmuch as Palin claims to have achieved a degree in journalism (after 6 years and 5 sub-par colleges). Then again, we have all been subjected to enough of Palin’s tweets, Facebook posts and speeches to realize that she is essentially illiterate. So this time Palin has elected to dispense with the subterfuge (and criticism of the use of a ghost-writer) and simply release a book filled with the written works of others.

That’s right, in America By Heart, the former half term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Fox News consultant, reality tv host and new BFF of Kate with 8 will reveal the sacred and personal nature of her love for our nation by simply pasting together a buffet of sermons, poems, speeches and essays which were authored by other people. Palin claims that these written pieces are the ones that “have moved her”. As HarperCollins puts it, the book will include…

“the nation’s founding documents, to great speeches, sermons, letters, literature and poetry, biography, and even some of her favorite songs and movies.” (Favorite songs? Do you think she might include any of the Lynnrockets parodies?).

Seriously, would Sarah Palin ever dare to honestly reveal to the world the readings, sermons, songs and movies that inspired her? For example, will she tell us about the sermon that inspired her to have the witches driven from her body in that Youtube clip that everyone has seen? Will she reveal that the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off inspired her to skip so many classes that it took her over 6 years to earn a mere bachelor’s degree from a series of second rate colleges? Will she actually admit that she was inspired by the little known book, Sarah, Plain and Stupid? Will she explain how the “founding fathers” of the secessionist Alaska Independence Party (the AIP) inspired her to promote the party when she was Governor (and inspired “First Dude” Todd to actually register with the Party)? Would she ever dare to fess-up to the fact that her post-governorship career was inspired by the song, “Barbie Girl” (if you are not familiar with this song, click here)?

Who knows what the 2009 “Liar of the Year” will include in her new tome. Stay tuned for its release on November 23rd as Sarah Palin is sure to put the Bible in bibliotheque. Until then, please enjoy today’s topical song parody.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8


(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at  Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he loves me as a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer

Posted on July 31, 2010, in Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. What a great comic commentary. They should skip the book and just print the cover. That’s all her audience really wants.
    Loved your line about the finger paints and the crayon.

    This post was great–hope she spends a long time at the AZ border, protecting our country with her plastic self.

  2. She is such a fraud. Finger paints and crayon LOL. I’m anxiously awaiting release of books by Geoffrey Dunn (Feb 2011) and her next door neighbor Joe McGuinness.

  3. Country Crock

    It’s only good business to keep publishing these books as long as they continue to sell: Harry Potter has already written seven best-sellers! Besides, we should all rejoice that “real” Americans are discovering their local WalMart’s book section.

    Next up from HarperCollins- Sarah Palin’s God Bless America Hot Dogs & Apple Pie Cookbook!

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