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Fox News: People Making Over $ 250,000 Are Not Rich, But Maids Making $ 60,000 Are Rich

Today is another one of those days where somebody else says something so much better than I could. In a wonderfully explanatory column, Mark Engler of DissentMagazine.org exposes another Fox News hypocrisy. The column is titled, “Why The $ 60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is A Right-Wing Nightmare” and it reveals how Fox News commentators and guests will do everything in their power to idolize the rich and demonize those in the working class. Following is this column and please visit Dissent Magazine here for other great reads.

Why the $60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is a Right-Wing Nightmare

Mark Engler – February 21, 2012 10:00 am

Conservatives these days walk a tricky line when it comes to wages. On the one hand, they strive to defend the just earnings of capitalist lords of enterprise. On the other, they try hard to foster resentment of any working people who might actually enjoy living wages and decent benefits. In a nutshell: while Wall Street bankers deserve every penny they get, public school teachers—to take just one example—are overpaid mooches who are leeching off society.

The latest hubbub illustrating this strange double standard came after the New York Times reported on a new contract between the New York Hotel Trades Council (UNITE HERE Local 6), representing city hotel workers, and the Hotel Association of New York, representing hotel owners. Over the course of a seven-year contract, hotel housekeepers will have received (cumulatively) a 29 percent raise, with a typical worker going from making around $46,000 per year to earning almost $60,000 per year. The contract also includes good union health insurance and other benefits.

It is a great contract, and members of the union should be congratulated for their work in securing it. But for some conservatives, the idea that a lowly hotel maid could possibly be paid $60,000 is an abomination. Fox News analysts called it a “nightmare.”

There’s plenty to say about their disgust. The first thing to note is the sheer hypocrisy of the right-wing revulsion. Back when we were debating the expiration of the Bush tax cuts, conservatives repeatedly rallied to assert that those making $250,000 per year were not at all rich. Among other absurdities, their apologetics produced the audacious spectacle of a University of Chicago professor with a household income of more than $450,000 per year complaining about how he is just barely getting by, noting that he and his wife “occasionally eat out but with a baby sitter, these nights take a toll on our budget.”

Fox News types worked overtime to back up such sob stories from those they dubbed the “so-called rich.” On the very same program where the right-wingers decried hotel workers’ $60,000 pay as a “nightmare” (Varney & Co.), analyst Chris Cotter previously asserted that, if you’re “in New York or San Francisco,” living on $250,000 is “very, very tough.”

It’s interesting to look a little more at what’s behind this contradiction. The conservatives aren’t really basing their criticism on the idea that New York City hotel rooms are overpriced. To do so would involve examining the price of a room and determining why it costs what it does. You’d have to figure out what percentage of the room rate goes to the workers who actually keep the hotel running, how much to executive compensation, how much to corporate profits, and so forth. Going down that road could lead to some uncomfortable questions, so they avoid it.

Nor are they standing up for the hotel owners, arguing that the new contract violates some tenet of capitalism. It doesn’t. The agreement was a product of employees collectively negotiating with their employers in fair market fashion. There are no government “handouts” here, no idle slackers who are not working for a living. In fact, according to the Times, the hotel owners’ association is very pleased with the contract: “In a constructive and cooperative spirit, we were able to reach this early agreement, which is good for our members, the union, and the city of New York,” association president Joseph E. Spinnato said.

So what’s the conservative objection really about? It comes down to their opinion of what a hotel housekeeper is worth. It’s a matter of principle: heaven forbid that a maid should have decent health insurance and make a living wage—even if that wage is a fraction of what elites themselves have a “very, very tough” time making due with.

I have a dog in this fight. In addition to being generally pro-labor, several family members of mine work with the hotel, casino, and restaurant employees union (although not the local in question). For this reason, I’m thankful to Nathan Newman for his fine Huffington Post commentary, “Why Shouldn’t Housekeepers Make $60,000 Per Year?”

Newman gives some important context. How, he asks, did we get “to the point that it is a bit ‘shocking’ in some sense that workers in what is seen as a low-wage industry are making a living wage?” He answers:

The disappearance of good working class jobs is the flip side of the anger many feel at income of the richest 1% exploding—that group had a 275 percent “raise” in income between [1979 and 2007] according to the Congressional Budget Office (CBO). The problem is not that the wealthy are getting wealthier, but that they seem to do so at the expense of everyone else seeing wages drop and benefits like health care and pensions disappear.Which is what makes the story of $60,000 housekeepers such an anomaly in the news. When Local 6, which represents New York City hotel workers, was founded back in 1938, they were actually just a latecomer to a wave of union drives that raised wages and brought labor rights to the workplace for previously low-wage workers in the auto industry, steel, telephone, garment and range of other industries.

But many of those jobs have disappeared to either globalization or technology and, except for a smaller group of high-paying professional service jobs, the decline of union strength has meant many new service jobs pay less than needed to raise a family.

So why do we have $60,000 per year housekeepers in New York City?

Well, you can’t outsource cleaning a room to China and so far no robot can make a bed as well as a human being, so hotel workers have escaped the job destroying forces sweeping other industries.

But you don’t have $60,000 housekeepers in most places in the United States or anything approach it except in a handful of cities like San Francisco and Las Vegas, so the answer goes beyond technological determinism.

The answer is hard-fought organizing by the hotel workers themselves in New York City and the supportive pro-union sentiment of other residents in the city, what was once unapologetically called “solidarity” in this country before the term seemed to get reserved by the elite for only talking about supporting workers in Poland.

Newman goes on to make solid points about the importance of union density and about the labor movement’s role in fighting inequality in America.

At the outset of this post, I framed the right-wing stance on wages as something of a curious contradiction. But actually, this whole thing is not all that complicated. Stripped down, it’s just class warfare, waged by the rich. Unless we have institutions that can repel the assault and advance the interests of working people, our democratic society as a whole stands to suffer.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

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Scott Brown Enables A Child Molester To Roam Freely

The talk radio airwaves in Boston were abuzz yesterday with discussion of Senator Scott Brown (R-MA). The one-time Tea Party darling who shocked the nation by winning Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in 2010 had been fading from the public spotlight of late. For a short while, Brown was the 41st GOP Senator and consequently, his was the vote that could kill any Democratic Party bills. That all changed last November when the Republicans captured a few more Senate seats and Brown’s vote was no longer so critical. Brown also lost favor with the Tea Baggers when he sided with the Democrats on a number of bills including the financial reform regulation bill. Moreover, his intentional absence from Sarah Palin’s Boston Tea Party rally last April sealed his fate as a Tea Party has-been.

So, why all the recent interest in all things Scott Brown? The reason is simple. He released his memoir on Monday which is titled, “Against All Odds: My Life of Hardship, Fast Breaks, and Second Chances”. Heck, the title alone takes up the first few pages of text. The book itself however, is not what thrust Brown into the limelight once again. Rather, it was the press release which preceded the book last week wherein Brown revealed for the first time that he had been a victim of childhood sexual abuse on at least three occasions and by two different deviants. By including that bit of personal red meat in the pre-publication release, there is no denying that the revelation was intended to launch sales of his book.

Indeed, despite the other stories about a poor childhood, a history of youthful crime, some basketball, the military and his nude modeling, it was the sexual abuse that was the bombshell. Suddenly Brown appeared on Sunday night’s “60 Minutes”, “The View” and of course on “Fox News” and the discussion always turned to the sexual abuse. There are of course, fewer things more personally devastating to a child than sexual molestation and anybody who was subjected to such treatment deserves much sympathy. The fact that Brown not only overcame it, but then excelled at so many things thereafter is an example of true dedication.

Nevertheless, Brown is now unexpectedly receiving a great deal of blow-back in his own backyard. When asked by local television station WBZ if he would pursue his alleged sexual abuser, Brown said, “I have more important things to do… he’s probably in his 70s today.” Brown has even refused to identify the camp counselor that sexually abused him and declined a request by the Cape Cod & Islands District Attorney Michael O’Keefe to pursue an investigation to find the abuser and stop him. Brown’s post-publication words and actions are not sitting well with his constituents. Nor should they.

Brown has now painted himself into a corner. He had every right to keep his sexual abuse to himself as a matter of personal privacy. Indeed, he admitted last week, that until the release of his book, he never mentioned the molestation to anyone including his mother and wife. That was his prerogative, but as soon as Brown publicized the abuse in his memoir, the rules changed. The criminal allegations have now been made public by Brown and there are resultant ramifications and obligations which must be addressed. Scott Brown now has a moral duty to reveal the identity of his abuser if for no other reason than to prevent this sexual predator from hurting more children. It makes no difference that the criminal is “probably in his 70’s” because there are countless examples of convicted sexual predators in that age range. Additionally, inasmuch as sex offenders tend to repeat their crimes, it is likely that an identification made by a victim with Brown’s stature would urge any other past victims to come forward. Scott Brown’s silence is enabling an alleged child molester to remain on the loose. In short, Brown is personally profiting from his revelations of sexual molestation while doing nothing to prevent other children from suffering the same sexual abuse by the same deviant. That is not the type of leadership we expect from a United States Senator.

All of this also reminds us of Scott Brown’s decision just last autumn to endorse a fellow Republican, state Representative Jeffrey Perry, in his bid to replace Democratic Representative William Delahunt in Congress. During the campaign, it was revealed that Perry, while he was an officer with the Wareham (MA) Police Dept., allegedly covered up the actions of a fellow officer who was eventually found guilty of conducting illegal strip searches of two teen-aged girls allegedly in the presence of Perry. The Boston Globe reported, “One victim, who allowed herself to be identified by her maiden name, Lisa Allen, said in a late-October statement opposing Perry’s election that the then-Wareham sergeant “had to hear me screaming and crying” as Officer Scott Flanagan put his hand down the 14-year-old’s pants and ordered her to lift her bra after he, Perry, and another officer came upon a group of teens suspected of using drugs near a cranberry bog in 1991. Arguing Perry lacked the character to serve in such high office, Allen said: “Perry did not care about protecting teen-aged girls in Wareham from police officer Flanagan. Jeff Perry cared only about protecting police officer Flanagan.” Perry lost the election to Democrat William Delahunt.

Scott Brown endorsed Perry but never directly addressed the former officer’s involvement in the cover-up of the molestation. Rather, he criticized Perry’s opponent for making the subject known. In fact, Brown said, “It’s to the point: ‘Bill, stop with the dirty politics”. Wouldn’t you think that as the result of also having been sexually molested as a child, that Brown would not have considered the female victim’s statements and Delahunt’s criticism as merely “dirty politics”? Wouldn’t Brown have identified with the victim and perhaps second-guessed his endorsement. He did not. Brown simply towed the Republican Party line and supported Perry, and he has now politicized his own sexual molestation and is padding his wallet while doing so. And all this happens while a child molester remains at large because Brown refuses to identify him.

Senator Brown cannot have it both ways. It is morally abhorrent for him to profit by means of publicizing his own childhood sexual molestation and then to claim that he wants to keep the identity of the perpetrator a private matter. His book made this a public matter, and victims may be mounting as Scott Brown selfishly protects a child molester by refusing to identify him.

Scott Brown will need more than the Tea Party to win re-election in 2012. Massachusetts Republicans and Democrats may disagree on many issues, but protecting sexual offenders is not one of them.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooq3JbWbdjk

NUDE, DUDE, SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Jim Croce song “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”)

Well its nuthin’ like Chicago
We’re talkin’ ‘bout Boston Town
And if you like men bare
You’re gonna love it there
With Senator Scottie Brown

Now Scottie’s talkin’ double
He loved the Mass. health reform law
He voted for it like the flip-flopping Guvnor
Yet now he has declared war

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Now Scottie he’s in NAMBLA
And he likes to strip his clothes
And he shows the world his private things
Most everywhere he goes
His senate seat is just a rental
Leased by the Tea Party crew
He better have some fun cuz he’s soon to be done
Massachusetts is too damn Blue

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Well Friday ‘bout a week ago
Scottie was not nice
He just shouted near and far
About all the horrors
Of health care and the price
Well he blasted dear Obama
That’s when Brown’s trouble began
Scottie Brown learned a lesson
‘Bout messin’ with the likes of a smarter man

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

You see, Scott Brown needs enlightening
He don’t give a damn ‘bout the poor
Scottie Brown’s big mouth should be muzzled
As he’s voted off of the floor

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Yeah, on the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Newt Gingrich Is A Rotten, Stinking Liar

Remember when all the “serious” conservatives belittled President Barack Obama’s appearance on the “The View” last month? They said that an appearance on such a show demeaned the Presidency. Just wondering, but does the appearance on such a show demean a prospective presidential candidate? If so, then Limbaugh, Coulter, Malkin and all the talking heads at Fox News better start criticizing Newt Gingrich.

The philandering and disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House and potential G.O.P. presidential candidate appeared with Barbara, Whoopi and Co. on Tuesday morning. As soon as he took his position at the coffee table, he immediately began lying and misleading the show’s hosts and audience. The man who recently proclaimed that President Obama’s administration “represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union once did”, and overtly criticisized then candidate Obama’s 2008 trip and speech in Germany, now appears to idolize all things German. He especially loves the German health care system.

Gingrich vomited a diatribe on what a truly great nation Germany is and why the United States should emulate its policies. How’s that for “American exceptionalism” and patriotism? What would Gingrich and the Republicans have to say if a Democrat expressed that opinion? When one of the show’s hosts agreed with him and then questioned if whether Germany’s universal health care system should also be applauded, Gingrich started with the lies and misinformation.

To begin, he claimed that Germany has a private health care system which is run by over 350 private insurance companies with minimal government funding, supervision or regulatory authority. He then lied by saying that German citizens privately purchase their own health care insurance policies from these private insurers and that they can change their plans and providers whenever they choose. In essence, Gingrich stated that Germany’s health care system is even more privatized than the American system was prior to this year’s health care reform legislation. In the words of Stephen Colbert, Gingrich’s characterization of Germany’s health care system was devoid of “truthiness”.

The truth is, that Germany has Europe’s oldest universal health care system which dates back to 1883 with changes made thereafter. Currently 85% of the population is covered by a basic health insurance plan provided by statute, which provides a standard level of coverage. The remainder opt for private health insurance, which frequently offers additional benefits. According to the World Health Organization, Germany’s health care system is 77% government-funded and 23% privately funded. Additionally, the government partially reimburses the costs for low-wage workers, whose premiums are capped at a predetermined value. Higher wage earners pay a premium based on their salary. Those higher earners may also opt for private insurance, which is generally more expensive, but whose price may vary based on the individual’s health status.

Germany has a universal multi-payer system with two main types of health insurance, public and private.

Public Insurance

All salaried employees must have a public health insurance. Only public officers, self-employed people and employees with a large income above c. €50,000 (adjusted yearly) may join the private system.

In the public system the premium

  • is set by the Federal Ministry of Health based on a fixed set of covered services as described in the German Social Law (Sozialgesetzbuch – SGB), which limits those services to “economically viable, sufficient, necessary and meaningful services”
  • is not dependent on an individual’s health condition, but a percentage of salaried income (typically 10-15%, depending on the public health insurance company one is in, where half of that is paid by the employer)
  • includes family members of any family members, or “registered member” ( Familienversicherung – i.e. husband/wife and children are free)
  • is a “pay as you go” system – there is no saving for an individual’s higher health costs with rising age or existing conditions.

Private Insurance

In the private system the premium

  • is based on an individual agreement between the insurance company and the individual defining the set of covered services and the percentage of coverage
  • depends on the amount of services chosen and the individual risk and entrance age into the private system
  • is used to build up savings for the rising health costs at higher age (required by law)

A person that opts out of the public health insurance system and gets private health insurance can not go back later to the public system, even if income drops below the level required for private selection. Since private health insurance is usually more expensive than public health insurance one will be required to pay the higher premiums with less income.

In short, the German health care system is much closer to a full government funded and strictly government regulated system than is the health care system in the United States even subsequent to the passage of the health care reform act this year. Newt Gingrich however, does not want you to know this. The reason? Because he will lie and misinform whenever he believes that it will further his failed conservative agenda. It is unfortunate that none of the more liberal hosts of “The View” had a better understanding of the German system so as to call Gingrich on his lies. Indeed, even the conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck was out of her league on the topic as evidenced by her only question to Gingrich which was, “Are you a FaceBook friend of Sarah Palin?” Shallow is as shallow does!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 45

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Fright on The Right” features the multitude of violent conservative right-wing crazies that have telephoned or emailed threats of harm to Federal Judge, Susan Bolton as the result of her ruling to issue a preliminary injunction against most of the provisions of Arizona’s racist immigration law. The right is simply comprised of sore losers. Rather than accept the loss at the District Court level and move the case peacefully through the appellate process, the right wingers resort to what they do best: talk about armed insurrections and violence to peaceful individuals. How predictable.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see a Democrat call out the hypocritical Republicans on the House floor last week. Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York took to the House floor to denounce the GOP for using parliamentary tactics to try and prevent a fund for the health of 9/11 responders from being established. The G.O.P. will do anything to oppose Democrats, even if that means turning against the victims of the 9/11 tragedy. Let’s go to the film:

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Blue Hairs” features Nevada’s Republican candidate for US Senate, the deranged Sharron Angle. Angle says, “We need to phase out Medicare and Social Security in favor of something privatized.” The Nevada chapter of the Alliance for Retired Americans, a national organization of retired union members says otherwise: “It’s a big concern for us. Seniors can’t afford Sharron Angle in the Senate, simple as that.” The message to Sharron Angle? Be careful because senior citizens in Nevada are many and they vote.

THIS JUST IN: Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska will become the first (and probably only) Democrat to vote against the nomination of Elena Kagan as Justice of the Supreme Court. Nelson says, “(I) have heard concerns from Nebraskans regarding Ms. Kagan, and her lack of a judicial record makes it difficult for me to discount the concerns raised by Nebraskans, or to reach a level of comfort that these concerns are unfounded.” Nelson didn’t however, outline what those worries were and Kagan is certain to win the seat. This is the same jerk that voted against the Health Care Reform Law. Nelson is also anti-choice and defends the Defense of Marriage Act. Why doesn’t he just end the charade and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Don’t Make Me Laugh” features Republican US Senator from Louisiana, David “Diapers” Vitter. Notwithstanding his 2007 prostitute (and diaper wearing) scandal and a more recent controversy surrounding his retention of a top aide who attacked his girlfriend with a knife, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) is seeking the endorsement of the Louisiana Sheriffs’ Association. Talk about the fox guarding the whorehouse, oops we meant henhouse!

THIS JUST IN: Republican Texas governor Rick Perry lives in an alternative universe where truth is fiction and fiction is fact. On a radio program this week, Perry proclaimed that Texas “has the best health care in the country.” However, the truth is that while Texas’ health care system might work well for those who can afford to use its “fabulous” facilities, the state also has the highest rate of uninsured residents of any state in the country. Nearly 26 percent of Texans lack coverage — the national average is just 15.4 percent — meaning there are more uninsured residents in Texas than there are people in 33 states. If Perry follows through on his threat to secede from the United States he will be vindicated because Texas will then have “the best health care in the nation of Texas”!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Take That!” features Shirley Sherrod who announced this week that she will file a defamation lawsuit against serial liar Andrew Breitbart for his publication of a doctored videotape of one of her speeches. Breitbart will soon learn how it feels to be on the defensive.

THIS JUST IN: Let’s end today’s post by watching President Barack Obama slap down The View‘s Elisabeth Hasselbeck with a fact-based, yet polite, retort to her question about job creation. The best part is when the audience shows its agreement with the President’s view by means of its loud applause. Please click on the link (Here) to see the video.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSdvfYcDw0

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sarah Palin Wallows In The Meyer

The serial endorser from Wasilla has struck again. Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting half term governor of Alaska has announced (via the sophomoric medium of Facebook, of course) that she is endorsing Republican Rita Meyer as governor of Wyoming. It goes without saying however, that Palin’s posting was both unintelligible and superficial. Here it is:

Voters know that Rita has a unique blend of steel magnolia and mama grizzly. Her true grit has not escaped the eye of other Americans who know that at every level of political office we all benefit with commonsense constitutional conservatives in service.

Oh, where to begin? Well first of all, Palin resorted to her common-man pop culture references with “steel magnolia” and her newly coined “mama grizzly”. What the heck is the message she is trying to convey with the reference to “steel magnolia”? Is she referring to the 1987 stage play, the 1989 comedy-drama film, or the country music duo that won season two of the television talent show Can You Duet ? In typical Palin self-induced confusion, her analogy is indecipherable. And “mama grizzly”? We guess that means that Meyer is another white, anti-feminist, abrasive, uncontrollable wild beast like Carly Fiorina, Sharron Angle and Palin herself.

Moving right along, we then get to the part that says, “Her true grit has not escaped the eye of other Americans.” She included the predictable and obligatory pop culture John Wayne “true grit” reference of course. But what can be made of the rest of her sentence? Meyer “has not escaped the eye of other Americans”? Honestly, has anyone outside of Wyoming ever heard of Rita Meyer? Is she perhaps related to Oscar?

It is becoming more and more apparent that Sarah Palin is frantically searching the country for female Republican candidates to endorse on a weekly basis. It is also apparent however, that she knows little to nothing about these candidates nor does she care. Sarah Palin simply wants to ensure that her name surfaces in the media as often as possible. She is a narcissist of the highest degree.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Light My Fire song Link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxMaE8dPfQs&feature=related

SHE’S A LIAR

(sung to the Doors song “Light My Fire”)

You know that her words ring untrue
You know that Sarah P.’s a liar
Now she’s endorsed someone new
A white chick known as Rita Meyer

Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Now she is in Palin’s choir!

She saw Obama on The View
Jealousy could get no higher
She had to get on Fox News
So she went and endorsed Rita Meyer

Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Will her profile now get higher?

(insrumental)

She hasn’t got a God damned clue
“Death Panels” proved she is a liar
“Mama Grizzlies” is a ruse
To ignite a hate fueled right-wing fire

Sarah Palin is a liar
Sarah Palin is a liar
Shouting out like the town crier

You know that her words ring untrue
You know that Sarah P.’s a liar
If I was to say to you,
“Girl, why don’t you just retire?”

Sarah Palin is a liar
Sarah Palin is a liar
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 44

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “The Dixie Dregs” features Zach Wamp (yes, that is a real name), one of the G.O.P. candidates for Governor of Tennessee. Like Texas’ crazy Rick Perry, Wamp would like Tennessee to secede from the United States of America. Wamp says, that mandates forced on the states by the Obama administration’s health care bill have put secession on the table. “I hope that the American people will go to the ballot box in 2010 and 2012 so that states are not forced to consider separation from this government.” Putting aside for the moment, the fact that secession is treason, just imagine the federal government benefit dependent state of Tennessee trying to govern itself autonomously with the likes of “Stonewall” Wamp at the helm.

THIS JUST IN: Disgraced Tea Party Express spokesman and former chairman Mark Williams has resigned his post. The National Tea Party Federation, an organization that seeks to represent the Tea Party political movement around the country, expelled Williams and his Tea Party Express organization because of a racist blog entry authored by Williams last week. This is just another example of truth trumping fiction because the NAACP’s call for the Tea Party to denounce (or as Sarah Palin would say, “refudiate”) the racist elements of its movement were fact based whereas FOX News’ allegations of Shirley Sherrod’s racism were fabricated. Consequently, Sherrod now has been cleared for return to her position while Williams is now unemployed.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Birth Of A Fiction” features Kansas Republican congressional candidate Tracey Mann. Twice in the span of 30 days, this crackpot called on President Obama to come forward with proof of his American citizenship. His status as a “Birther” however, has cost Mann’s campaign an important endorsement. As the result of Mann’s discredited view on the President’s citizenship, the Hutchinson News emphatically withdrew its endorsement of him.

The reason [for withdrawing the endorsement] is that it turns out Mann is what is known as a birther,” the newspaper’s editorial board wrote Wednesday night. “He questions the citizenship of President Barack Obama despite evidence that is irrefutable to most objective, rational people – including a birth certificate released by the Hawaii secretary of state and birth announcements printed in Honolulu’s two major newspapers.

So long Tracey Mann, we hardly knew ye.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World of Michele Bachmann” features none other than Michele Bachmann, the moonbat crazy Republican  from Minnesota. When U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann announced Wednesday the names of House members that had joined her House Tea Party Caucus, it left some congressmen scratching their heads. Many hadn’t actually signed up to be members, and the list put out by Bachmann was quickly removed from her website. The Frum Forum, a website by conservative commentator David Frum, contacted ‘members’ of the Tea Party Caucus, and many indicated they were surprised to know they had joined and others were under the impression that the list of members wouldn’t be released. Do I hear a tea kettle whistling or is that just the sound of Bachmann’s poor excuse for a brain boiling over?

BREAKING NEWS: Windycitywatch.com reports, “while the rest of America understands that Shirley Sherrod was the victim of an attempted media lynching THE VIEW’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck, most likely reading from a script provided by Sean Hannity, went on the attack. First she took issue with Sherrod stating her belief that some of the Republican opposition to Obama’s health care plan was racist, then she questioned whether or not she violated the Hatch Act. Sherrod wasn’t having it, at one point looking at her like she was a simple idiot before putting her in her place with a strong response.” The best part of the segment was when the audience loudly applauded each fact which contradicted the conservative Hasselbeck. Let’s go to the video…

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” features conservative pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter. He appeared on Sean Hannity’s program and defended Andrew Breitbart (the conservative blogger that posted the doctored video tape of Shriley Sherrod) by claiming that he was the victim of a scheme in which he was framed! Watch this…

Coulter is a racist apologist. This guy will do anything he can to defend Breitbart. In Coulter’s world, it was not Breitbart’s obligation to fact check his source or the doctored video before publishing it. Rather, he contends, only the source should be criticized. It is clear at this point that every time Coulter opens his mouth, he is being disingenuous.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

I Wanna Be Sedated song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rxJroWIg1Y

ANN WANTS TO BE CASTRATED

(sung to the Ramones song “I Wanna Be Sedated”)

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs, his sex can be debated
Get Coulter to the airport and put him on a plane
Hurry, hurry, hurry the surgery’s in Spain
He only wants ten fingers and a woman’s brain
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs ,his sex can be debated
Just slather his legs with Nair then he’ll be a dame
Hurry, hurry, hurry before he goes insane
He looks a lot like Klinger isn’t that a shame?
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go till his breasts are inflated
Get some new shoes, Ann’s ready to go-o-o, the change has been belated
Put Coulter in that wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry before it starts to grow
He wants some girlie sneakers and new Ann Taylor clothes
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Boobs that are new and sheer nylon hose, Ann wants to be castrated
Just put Ann in a wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry he wants to be a ‘ho
Trinkets on his fingers and trinkets on his toes
Oh no no no no no

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated

Bristol and Levi Say, “Let’s Get Real”

Bristol Palin shooting the pilot episode of "Tripp Knows Best"

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off hopes that all of you regular readers had a happy and healthy weekend. Now, let’s get back back to the fun and juicy stuff, shall we?

A number of media outlets including the Toronto Star, E Online and Scify.com are confirming the rumor that the reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have been trying to shop a reality television series about themselves just like media hog Sarah Palin did. TMZ.com reports that the couple plans to use baby Tripp as an integral part of the show. Gee, using your minor children as publicity props, where did Bristol and Levi ever come up with that novel idea?

Finding a network to air the show might be a problem for the on-again, off-again, on-again lovers, however. The New York post quoted one network executive as saying, “Don’t think we should do it. Neither of them have personalities.” Joy Behar of The View said, “It’s like Romeo and Juliet in Wasilla.”

Even the late night talk show hosts have taken notice of the born again virgin’s reconciliation with the high school drop-out. Jay Leno said,

This week Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal exclusively to Us Weekly – my bible – that they are getting married. Sarah Palin, allegedly, is not happy about this because she feels they barely know each other and they are making a big committment – kind of like when John McCain picked her for vice president. I understand it’s not going to be a traditional wedding. Rumor is that Bristol has asked Levi to wear his camouflage hunting vest – which would be the closest he’s ever come to wearing protection of any kind.

David Letterman quipped,

You guys remember Levi Johnston? He’ll be arriving in at the church tied to Sarah Palin’s pickup.

We can’t wait to hear what Craig Ferguson has to say on the subject.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Reunited song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZOhm7qS-AI

REUNITED

(sung to the Peaches and Herb song “Reunited”)

(Levi’s verse)
Let’s pool our dough and buy a double-wide
When I get home I’ll give you quite a ride
I want you so bad cuz it makes Sarah so mad
I realize I like you when you’re on your back, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I have my very own Plumber-Joe
Let’s do it with Rush on the radio
If I start to gush we can get help from the Dutch
I know now that I love you though you don’t know much, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, right here on the hood
Reunited, Levi’s sporting wood
First Dude don’t like it and Sarah’s pitching a fit
We’ll both be extradited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

(Levi’s verse)
I got so tired of my blow-up doll
And all the fellas in the men’s room stall
They said I’d go blind if I pulled on what was mine
I did whatever I could just to earn a dime, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I took a beatin’ honey, every day
Cuz that’s the Sarah Palin lovin’ way
Her voice is a hiss, she has a venomous kiss
Her skin looks like old leather from some deep abyss, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, off to Hollywood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
We hope she gets indicted, we would be excited, hey-hey

(Levi and Bristol’s verse)
Oh,
Holy Mother, we’re so much in love
And Sarah Palin blames the Lord above
We are not gay and we are both white
So we don’t understand why she says its not right, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, we’re misunderstood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
The world is so excited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

Palin’s Boobs Were Made For Talkin’

Sarah Palin's Oil Spill Solution.

Poor Sarah Palin. She made a boob of herself yet again last night. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska agreed to appear on The O’Reilly Factor last night to critique the President’s address about the BP oil spill, she apparently expected the usual fawning treatment she always receives when on the Fox network. Such was not the case. Host Bill O’Reilly actually went on the attack. Newshounds showed us that he repeatedly challenged her non-fact based assertions and then demolished her credibility altogether by asking what she would do to stop the leak. Not only couldn’t Palin answer the question, she also made the ridiculous statement that Norwegians are experts at dikes.

It is a pleasure to watch Palin silently stare in red faced ignorance when Bill O’Reilly asked “What is your solution, here, Governor? What would you do tonight – tell the nation tonight, what you would have said, the main point in that speech. Go.” Palin’s hilariously superficial answer? “Stopping the gusher, that’s the number one priority of the nation.” This woman truly is a boob. Her plan for stopping the gusher is stopping the gusher! How insightful!

O’Reilly then pushed her harder. He said, “BP says, ‘We don’t know how to stop the leak.’ …Obama obviously doesn’t know how to stop the leak. Do you know how to stop it?” Of course Palin has no idea how to stop the leak, but rather than admit her ignorance, she said Obama must accept “the assistance from foreign countries” such as “The Dutch, they are known and the Norwegians. They are known for dikes and for cleaning up water.”

So that is Sarah Palin’s solution. Call the Netherlands and have them send over The Little Dutch Boy to stick his finger in the oil well. Stop it Sarah, you’re killing us!!! But let’s watch the video anyway…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

These Boots Were Made For Walking song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1l8ymXlm4

THESE BOOBS WERE MADE FOR TALKING

(sung to the Nancy Sinatra song “These Boots Were Made For Walking”)

Beck keeps saying Obama’s a commie
Hannity has Tea-Bagger guests
Bill O’s guessin’ he’s teachin’ a right-wing lesson
And now Sarah Palin’s sportin’ brand new breasts

These boobs were made for talkin’ and that’s just what they do
One of those right-wing boobs can be seen daily on The View

Yeah

Coulter’s lyin’ when he oughta be truthin’
Rush said he’s leavin’ in protest on his jet
Malkin’s blamin’ when she oughta be shamin’
Now what’s right is right but they ain’t been right yet

These boobs were made for talkin’ and that’s just what they do
But none of these right-wing talking heads even has a clue

They keep sayin’ that they are only playin’
Every time they’re lyin’ and then they get burnt
Ha! They turn red like the heads on top of matches, yeah
Still, what we know they ain’t had time to learn

These boobs were made for talkin’ and that’s just what they do
But none of these right-wing talking heads even has a clue

Are you ready boobs?
Keep talkin’

Sarah Palin Is A Schmidt-Head

sarah-palin-solemnly-swear-vp

The Arkansas News reports that at a speech at the University of Arkansas Clinton School of Public Service, former McCain adviser and Sarah Palin critic, Steve Schmidt had some kind words for Alaska’s quitting ex-governor. Schmidt said,

I believe to this day that had she not been picked as the vice presidential candidate, we would never have been ahead — not for one second, not for one minute, not for one hour, not for one day.

Then again, when Schmidt was reminded that just a few weeks ago he said that a Palin presidential candidacy would be, “catastrophic” for Republicans in 2012, he stated that he stood by those remarks also. “I said what I said on the 2012 (race). … I said what I said today,” was his retort.

So, apparently Schmidt believes that although Palin was helpful to the McCain campaign while she was an unknown character, her light has been dimmed as the public learned more about her to the extent that her future candidacy would destroy the Republican Party. That does not sound like a vote of confidence for Caribou Barbie.

This seems like an appropriate time to re-visit those lazy-hazy days of the Palin candidacy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Gilligan’s Island theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Gilligans_Island.html

SARAH’S ISLAND

(Sung to the theme of “Gilligan’s Island”)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a strange kinship
That started with the First Dude, Todd
And ends with Baby Tripp

Wife Sarah was Alaska’s guv’nor
Her husband a drop-out
Five children with really strange names
Hillbillies there’s no doubt.    Hillbillies there’s no doubt.

The election started getting rough
Mack needed a V.P.
He focused his attention on the Great White North
His savior Sarah P.    His savior Sarah P.

She could not handle interviews her strategy was
Senile
Too “Mavericky”
“You Betcha’s” too
“Joes Sixpack and the Plumber”
“Hockey Moms”
“The Pitbull with Lipstick on”
and, a Beehive hairstyle.

So this is the tale of the Palin Clan
The campaign was reduced to dust
Bristol had a baby boy
Levi’s mom, a bust

Sarah and her husband, Todd
Returned to the family nest
She had some softball interviews
Tough issues weren’t addressed

No Charles, no Kate, no CNN
Sure no M-S-N-B-C
They all use “Gotcha Questions”
That’s not her cup of tea

So join them here each week good friends
Fox, you can stay awhile
Greta and Hasselback will be here too

Here on “Palins Isle”

It’s A Glenn Beckian Backlash

Beck Facts

Recently, there have been more dark days for Fox News network host, Glenn Beck. Last Sunday morning on CNN‘s State Of The Union program, Democratic strategist James Carville when asked about what he thought of Beck, responded, “I think he’s nuts, OK?” and, “Just out and out nuts. And I also think that he’s a blatant hypocrite. Here’s somebody that sits on his show … weeping about how much he loves America and … and then he’s absolutely giddy when his country doesn’t get the Olympics. And this is … I’ll tell you another thing about Glenn Beck. He wouldn’t know the difference between a football, a bat and a hockey court (sic). This guy is not … he’s just all … he’s just all weeping.” Ouch !!!

Carville’s remarks followed those of Republican Senator Lindsey Graham during his appearance on Fox News earlier that day. Graham said, “[H]e doesn’t represent the Republican Party. When a person says he represents conservatism and that the country is better off with Barack Obama than John McCain, that sort of ends the debate as for me as to how much more I’m going to listen.”

Both of those negative assessments of Glenn Beck follow directly on the heels of other recent Republican and conservative criticisms of the bat-crazy host. As Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off reported on September 29th, Beck was also skewered by Joe Scarborough, Robert Frum, Mark Levin, David Brooks, Peter Wehner, Elisabeth Hasselbeck (The View) and Republican Congressman Bob Inglis of South Carolina. Oh, and we almost forgot to mention that Beck was also disavowed by the entire city council from his hometown of Mount Vernon, Washington. How many more sponsors will flee his show now?

It almost seems as if Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are in a contest to determine who is most unpopular among Republicans and conservatives in the know. Nevertheless, is there anything more entertaining than watching Republicans feed on their young?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

You’re No Good song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr9vKWLgZzo

YOU’RE NO GOOD

(sung to the Linda Ronstadt song “You’re No Good”)

Feeling better now that Beck’s through
Feeling better cuz his fans are few
They learned their lesson, it left a scar
Now they see that Glenn Beck’s no star

He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

Let’s all just sing it again
He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

You’ve come apart and don’t have a clue
Well, you have no heart and we all know it’s true
All of Glenn Beck’s sponsors starting to flee
They wouldn’t stay there if the ads were free

He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

Let’s all just sing it again
He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

(musical interlude)

We’re telling you now Glenn Beck, they’re going away
There’s nothing you can do now to convince them to stay

He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

Let’s all just sing it again
He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good

Oh, oh no
He’s no good
He’s no good
He’s no good
Glenn Beck, you’re no good