Category Archives: Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck Is A Victim Of George Soros-Influenced Fox News!

Think about this for a moment. When was the last time that you heard anything at all about Glenn Beck?

For me, it was last week when during the Boston Bruins White House ceremony, it was revealed that goaltender Tim Thomas had skipped the event because he is a Tea Party member and big fan of Glenn Beck. Upon hearing mention of Beck it dawned on me that this once uber-popular crackpot has essentially evaporated and wafted away from the public consciousness.

Glenn Beck of course, was the one-time widely popular (with idiots) Fox News personality who quickly rose to stardom before flaming out of existence. During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck is long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses and audience witnessed.

Consequently, Glenn Beck’s Fox News show was abruptly cancelled. On his last broadcast he said, “You will pray for the time when I was only on the air for one hour every day.” Apparently our prayers have been answered. Beck has been nowhere to be found since leaving Fox.

The tiny little audience that followed Beck to his new internet-based program must have also realized that he has become invisible. They are now trying to influence Fox News to put him back on the network. The means by which they are trying to accomplish their goal however, seems a bit…well…Beckian. You see, this group believes that the root of all evil, George Soros has actually infiltrated News Corp (the Fox News parent company) and orchestrated the demise of Glenn Beck. Really. I’m not making this stuff up.

Mediaite.com reports that conservative activist Cliff Kincaid of America’s Survival has launched a call for Fox News to bring back Glenn Beck. “Fox News has been disintegrating since Soros-funded groups forced Glenn Beck off the air,” declared Kincaid. “His show was replaced by a program featuring Democratic Party hack Bob Beckel, who regularly insults conservatives. It’s time for Glenn Beck, now on Internet TV, to return to the cable channel so that he can continue his investigative journalism into the rapidly expanding influence of the Soros network of organizations. We urge Fox News CEO Roger Ailes to negotiate Beck’s return at the earliest possible date.”

Fox News is a liberal arm of George Soros? Really? Sounds like something only Beck could come up with. Ah Glenn Beck, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(break with reality)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Whatever Happened To Baby Beck?

Remember just before his Fox News program was cancelled a few months ago and Glenn Beck said to his critics, “You will pray for the time when I was only on the air for one hour every day.”? Wow, our prayers must have been more than answered. Glenn Beck has now become completely irrelevant.

Think about this for just a moment. When was the last time that you saw Glenn Beck on your television or even heard someone comment about him or something he said? I’ll go make a sandwich and brew a cup of tea while you think it over…  Come up with an answer? No. I’ll go walk the dog and give you a little more time…. Anything? I didn’t think so.

Glenn Beck has now become more insubstantial than was Claude Rains while portraying “The Invisible Man” in that wonderful 1933 Universal film. He is presumably in Israel presently and referring to the tent protesters (who are upset with economic conditions) as socialists or communists. I understand that he also may have recently said that there will be race riots in America if President Obama is re-elected. I had to dig pretty deep into George Bush’s internets to find that out, however. The newspapers and television stations seem to have lost all interest in Beck and his faux tear-filled tirades. His 15 minutes of fame have obviously expired. I for one, am glad about that.

Ah, Glenn  we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(break with reality)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

  • Glenn Beck
  • Ron Paul
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Donald Trump
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Rand Paul
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Rudi Giuliani
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Larry Craig
  • Michael Savage
  • David Vitter
  • Scott Brown
  • Dick Morris
  • Fox News
  • Dick Cheney
  • Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Glenn Beck: Tears of A Rodeo Clown

Yes, that is the proverbial “Fat Lady” who you can hear singing. The show is now officially over. That’s right, we are finally rid of the hate-speak and misinformation-spewing Glenn Beck. Even the Republican propaganda arm known as Fox News finally realized that steadily declining ratings and the continued loss of millions of dollars in free market advertising dictated a divorce between the network and the crazy-man. In the end, even Fox News president Roger Ailes had his limits when it comes to a lost cause.

The break-up came after months of infighting between Beck and the network. The straw that broke the camel’s back however, was the fact that virtually all of the program’s sponsors fled along with their advertising revenue and Beck’s ratings have plummeted by approximately 40%. What show could withstand that type of double-whammy?

During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck will be long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses seem to have been witnessing.

Don’t believe me? Watch this:

Need more evidence? let’s watch a few more of Beck highlights as well as his final exit:

That my friends is a caseload of canned-crazy. But now it is time to celebrate. This weekend we should celebrate not only the holiday which commemorates our great nation’s independence, but also the final departure of one of our great nation’s craziest wackos from the free public airwaves.

Lynnrockets wishes all of you and your’s a happy, healthy 4th of July Weekend!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Tears Of A Clown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zww7FQILQec

TEARS OF A RODEO CLOWN

 (sung to the Smokey Robinson song “Tears of A Clown”)

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

Now Fox wiped that smile from Beck’s face
Was only there trying to fool the public
And Glenn was a drug-abusing fool
And honey, since now we’re on the subject
Don’t you let Beck’s sad expression
Lead to misplaced adulation
Really Beck’s mad, and he’s sadder than sad
Beck’s gone and he’s hurtin’ so bad
Like a clown Beck pretends to be glad

Now there’s some mad things ‘bout this man
But ain’t too much sadder than
The tears of this clown, as Beck stumbles around
Uh hum, oh yeah Becky

Now if it appears Fox set him free
It’s only to minimize the badness
They want to conceal that wild-eyed guy
His sponsors all fled due to Beck’s madness
Fox won’t let his show continue
Beck has too many issues
He just had to go, along with his show
Glenn’s hurt and it really does show
That dumb Glenn Beck has lost his mojo, ooh yeah

Now there’s some mad things ‘bout this man
But ain’t too much sadder than
The tears of this clown, as Beck stumbles around
Oh yeah

Just like Liberace did
Glenn Beck lost it and flipped his lid
Telling conspiracy lies
Moisture filling his jaundiced eyes
The tears of a clown
And his faked sobbing sound, oh yeah baby

Yes, Fox wiped that smile from Beck’s face
Look at Ailes’ glad expression
He taught Glenn Beck a lesson
Don’t let the smile Beck wears
Make you think that he don’t care
Cuz really he’s sad…Beck’s hurting so bad…

New Yorkers Give Glenn Beck The Bronx Cheer

The print media has been abuzz today about Glenn Beck. You remember Glenn Beck don’t you? He is the self described “rodeo clown” who, when hired by Fox News some two years ago, promised to bring an end to Barack Obama’s presidency. Something funny happened on the way to the impeachment however. You see, It was Glenn Beck who found himself unemployed when Fox News failed to renew his contract while Barack Obama continues to occupy the Oval Office.

Beck appears to be such an afterthought lately that he felt he had to drum up his own drama. New York Magazine reports that on his radio show this Tuesday, Beck tearfully recounted an incident from Bryant Park last night when he and his wife and daughter turned up to see a showing of the Hitchcock classic The 39 Steps. Apparently some fellow picnickers began harassing the Becks, even at one point “accidentally” kicking a glass of wine onto his wife’s back. The famously paranoid Beck recounted the incident as follows:

“‘I swear to you, I think, if I had suggested, and I almost did, ‘Wow, does anybody have a rope? Because there’s trees here. You could just lynch me.’ And I think there would have been a couple in the crowd that would have. They have done everything they can to stalk me and my family. They’ve put my family in jeopardy in their own home.”

Who knew that Glenn Beck’s home is Bryant Park? Who knew that Beck’s family could be stalked by movie goers when it was he and his family that voluntarily appeared at the movie venue and set amongst the crowd? You learn something everyday from Glenn Beck.

Beck continued,

“I really feel sorry for you. Here you are, 25 years old, and you are so lost and so arrogant and so convinced that you are absolutely 100 percent right. And you are helping craft a system that is fueled by hate. You’re being used, and you don’t even know it. You’re building a system fueled by the very things you say you hate: special interests, the rich, the powerful, global corporations — that’s who’s pulling your string.”

Really? What is this crackpot talking about? Twenty-five year olds are “helping craft a system that is fueled by hate”? Isn’t it in fact Glenn Beck that is constantly saying he wants to kill people with shovels and isn’t it Beck that said Barack Obama “has a deep seated hared of white people”? Isn’t Beck the guy that is constantly comparing people to Hitler and the Nazis? He should look in a mirror to get a glimpse of who is really fueled by hate. Is it any wonder that Fox News no longer wants anything to do with him?

As for “the wine” incident, the alleged perpetrator actually took the time to write a letter to the editor of New York Magazine . Here it is:

To Whom It May Concern:

Just a quick FYI -saw your article on Mr. Beck and his numerous FALSE claims about the way that he was treated at Bryant Park last night. Myself and several of my friends were seated immediately behind Mr. Beck & co (have pictures) and I can tell you that while the crowd was certainly not *thrilled* that he had shown up, his family was left completely alone, and for the most part he was too. Conversely, it was his security detail (two body guards) that seemed to be unnecessarily prickly with the crowd, scolding myself and my friends for acrobatics and other harmless activities taking place well before the movie started, and contributing to a considerably less relaxed atmosphere than is typically experienced during BPMN (I’ve been going for about six years now).

It was my friend that spilled the glass of wine on Tanya -and I can assure you that it was a complete accident. A happy one, to be sure, but nonetheless a complete and utter accident. As soon as the wine spilled (and I question how Tanya became soaked from a half glass of wine) apologies were made and my friends pretty much scrambled to give Tanya & co napkins -no doubt aware that it would look terrible and that their actions could be perceived as purposeful. No words were exchanged after that, as I think that it became pretty clear to Beck & co that my friends and I were doing everything in our capacity to help clean the “mess”.

I’m sure it’s unnecessary to point out the hypocrisy in Glen’s statements that we were being hateful. I can assure him that we don’t need his sympathy. Incidentally, none of us have made a career of “spewing hate” on the radio, or any other media platform. We live our lives intolerant only of those who don’t tolerate: We have chosen New York as our city for that very reason. We do things like go to Bryant Park Movie Night, and vote to legalize gay marriage. We don’t taunt Glen, or his family. And we certainly don’t waste our wine, even on Tanya.

Thanks, and please let me know if you have further questions.

Lindsey Piscitell

Well played Ms. Piscitell. Very well played.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Beth song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uABnCLr4Pp0

BECK

(sung to the Kiss song “Beth”)

Beck we hear you calling
We can hear you droning now
We don’t care what you’re saying
You are simply background sound

Just a few more hours
And we’ll be all done with you
Boycotts have ratings falling
Oh, Beck what can you do?
Beck what can you do?

Your skull is so damn empty
A receding, balding dome
Soon you’ll be somewhere else
But you’re sure to be alone

The Fox Network powers
Will soon be all done with you
I think I hear them calling
Oh, Beck what can you do?
Beck what can you do?

(hate-speak break)

Beck, we know you’re lonely
And you’re really in a plight
‘Cuz your last show will be broadcasting tonight.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 83

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Representative Paul Ryan, the House Budget Committee chairman who has become a star in the Republican Party with his plan to destroy Medicare, is emerging as an unpopular figure among Americans. By a margin of 57 percent to 34 percent, recent Bloomberg poll respondents say they would be worse off if Ryan’s plan to convert Medicare to a system of subsidized private health coverage were adopted.Fifty-eight percent of independents, a critical voting bloc in recent elections, say they would be worse off. That’s likely to encourage Democrats to bank their success in next year’s presidential and congressional races on tying Republicans to the Medicare plan, which was passed by the Republican-controlled House on April 15.

THIS JUST IN:  The Republican controlled House has approved a bill removing a barrier to companies seeking to drill for oil in some areas offshore. The White House opposes the measure, saying it deprives citizens of a way to challenge permits and would also increase air pollution. Is it a surprise to anyone that the party that hates mother earth is up to its old tricks once again?

BREAKING NEWS:  The folks over at Buzzflash were spot-on when they concluded that it appeared that Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann did well in last week’s GOP debate simply as the result of “not spewing vomit as her head twisted around”! Doesn’t everyone love a good “Exorcist” reference?

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but if the Republicans know so much about creating jobs, then why was there negative job growth from 2000 through 2007 when they were in control of the government and it was a period of relative economic prosperity?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Leave It To The Courts To Redress Faulty GOP Policy” features Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels and his law which eliminated funding to Planned Parenthood. U.S. District Court Judge Sarah Evans on Friday granted a preliminary injunction preventing Indiana from enforcing the law that eliminated funding to the organization because it performs abortions.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Dazed And Confused” features the Republican members of the House. The majority party attempted to disgrace the President by rebuking his actions in Libya and cutting the funds for the military action. Problem is, the GOP does not know what it wants. In a very confusing action, the House voted to rebuke the President for the action, but also voted to continue funding the action. It is obvious that Speaker John Boehner has no control over his minions. This was an embarrassing defeat for the Republicans.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Republican tells you Texas is the best job creation state in the Union and that GOP gov. Rick Perry deserves the credit, remind them of this. ThinkProgress reveals that the theory that Perry has a stellar record on job creation is simply not true. As the Austin American-Statesman noted, “while the national unemployment rate is 9.1 percent and the Texas unemployment rate is 8 percent, some 23 states, including New York, have lower unemployment rates.” In addition, “jobs grew at about the same rate during Democrat Ann Richards’ four years as governor” as they have under Perry. Moreover, as it turns out, Texas is in fact leading the nation in one employment metric — the number and percentage of minimum wage jobs. Additionally, Texas has by far the largest number of employees working at or below the federal minimum wage.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “This Deserves Repeating” features Teapublican Sarah Palin. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska told reporters that she would like to meet the Prime Minister during her world tour next month, a Thatcher aide reportedly said, “Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Inasmuch as infamous Boston Irish Mob Boss and the nation’s “Most Wanted” villain, Whitey Bulger was captured last week, we were wondering what Martin Scorsese’s sequel to the film “The Departed” will be entitled. Perhaps “The Recently Apprehended” or “The Returned”? Any other suggestions?

THIS JUST IN:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “Suspect in Custody for ‘Suspicious” backpack is Marine Corps Reservist.” Comment: “All of you liberals, illegal immigrants, and muslims need to be rounded-up and put into camps that are surrounded by razor-wire!!!” How is that for conservative intellectualism?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “How Soon They Are Forgotten” features former Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck. Honestly think about this for a moment. When was the last time you heard anything about the now near-invisible Beck? Well, TPM reports that Glenn Beck said Thursday that he will be visiting the former Nazi death camp Auschwitz in a visit to Poland, and he’ll broadcast a special from a town outside of the camp because this will help him “figure out,” he says, “how did this happen?” Beck went on to say, “Poland, I didn’t know this when I first started doing my research. Poland rose up, a lot of Poles rose up, to try to help the Jews but they had nothing left. They had no arms.” Apparently Beck’s research failed to reveal that Poland “did not exactly have a reputation for passionate philo-Semitism. Towards the end of the war, anti-Jewish riots even broke out in several Polish cities as Jews were returning to their homes.” It is nice to know that some things never change. Glenn Beck continues to misinform.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM

HE’S CRAZY

(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)

Crazy
Glenn Beck is a demented phony
He’s crazy
Marbles? He’s missing a few

We knew
He was one of Bellevue’s “Most Wanted”
And that someday
He’d make an asylum debut

Sorry
Beck’s on a mental safari
Wondrin’
How did he go so koo-koo

Oh, crazy
Glenn’s crazy and back on the home brew
There’s no use denyin’
Beck can’t stop cryin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
And stupid too

Crazy
We’re not sure that Beck’s not sniffing glue
It seems like he’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
We know it’s true

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 81

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  The Republicans have been correct all along. There is voter fraud. Unfortunately for the GOP however, it is their side that appears to be committing it. Firedoglake.com reports that in Wisconsin three of the recall elections against Republican state senators have been certified. Additionally, there is a hearing scheduled this week to deal with challenges to the other six – three against Republicans, three against Democrats. But the Government Accountability Board has delayed the decision on the Democratic recalls, because of allegations of faulty signature-gathering.

THIS JUST IN:  Conservative commentator George F. Will appeared on ABC’s “This Week” and said this about the possibility of Sarah Palin being trusted with nuclear weapons,

“The threshold question, not usually asked, but it’s in everyone’s mind in a presidential election. ‘Should we give this person nuclear weapons?’ And the answer [in Palin’s case], answers itself.”

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark.

BREAKING NEWS:  Question of the week. How many more innocent people must be gunned down in Arizona before that renegade state gets serious about gun control?

THIS JUST IN:  A California Federal court judge has ruled that the civil lawsuit filed by a former ACORN employee against propaganda film-maker James O’Keefe III and an associate can move forward. O’Keefe is the person who posed as a pimp and secretly recorded a conversation with the ACORN employee before publishing an extensively edited version. The California Attorney General’s Office investigated Acorn in 2009, but ultimately found that the conversations, while “highly inappropriate,” were not in violation of state criminal laws. In the case at bar, U.S. Judge M. James Lorenz ruled that the First Amendment does not protect the alleged illegal conduct of the two conservative activists.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see Fox News take a beating this week. Newscorpse.com reports that “This was a really bad month for Fox News which lost viewers in the demo for every primetime show. Bill O’Reilly dropped 9%, Sean Hannity dropped 6%, and Greta Van Susteren dropped 12%. These declines occurred while almost every primetime program for both CNN and MSNBC gained by double digits. The only good news for Fox is that Glenn Beck, which sunk 17% in the demo, has already been canceled so he can’t do too much more harm. An interesting wrinkle in this book is that MSNBC was also the number one cable news network among 18-34 year-olds in primetime, with a 7% advantage over CNN and a 14% lead over Fox News.”

THIS JUST IN: Sarah Palin quote of the week. While participating in the Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally last week in Washington DC, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska said, “I love that smell of the emissions!” ‘Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Publicity Stunts That Keep Repeating Themselves” features Donald Trump. The bankrupt billionaire now says that he has not ruled out running for President in 2012. This time however, The Donald states that he may run as an Independent. Let’s hope that he does and thereby splits the Republican vote!

THIS JUST IN: Mark your calendars and begin planning the party. it has been announced that Glenn Beck‘s Fox News program will finally be cancelled on June 30th. Can I have an “Amen”?

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News comment of the week. Headline: “Los Angeles Police Nab ‘Main Aggressor’ In Giants Fan Beating”. Comment: “a thousand Mexocans should die for what happened to Mr. Stow. why do we continue to put up with this race of brown vermin.. why???”

THIS JUST IN:  The newest Republican Presidential candidate has put himself at odds with his party and its base yet again. Mitt Romney yesterday reaffirmed his view that global warming is occurring and that humans are contributing to it. This may spell doom for his election chances as conservatives do not believe in science.

BREAKING NEWS: Just in case you somehow missed it, here is Sarah Palin‘s version of Paul Revere’s ride which she gave while in Boston this week:

He was warning the British? He was ringing bells? Wouldn’t ringing bells defeat the whole purpose of quietly lighting the lanterns so as not to alert the enemy? Palin really should have Netflix send over those school-House Rock dvd’s before she makes any more public statements.

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but has anyone heard from Ann “The Man” Coulter or Michelle “Anchor Baby” Malkin lately? Where have these two big mouths slithered off to? Their 15 minutes must have expired.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Beck v. Meghan McCain, Cindy McCain v. Beck, Meghan McCain v. Beck and O’Reilly v. Beck

Glenn Beck is reduced to tears...again!

As we have said so many, many times in the past, “Is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives/Republicans fight amongst themselves?” This week we were treated to a real dandy of a tag-team war of words. The pugilists were Glenn Beck, Meghan McCain, Cindy McCain and Bill O’Reilly.

The brouhaha began when Failed GOP presidential nominee John McCain’s daughter Meghan appeared with other scantily clad celebrities in a public service announcement which promoted the use of sunblock to prevent skin cancer.

The ad appeared to be a well intentioned method to draw attention to the correlation between the sun’s rays and skin cancer.

The ever-immature and uneducated Glenn Beck did not see it that way however. Rather than commenting upon the message of the ad, the soon-to-be former Fox News host chose to mimic a 10 year old. While discussing the ad and Meghan McCain’s physical appearance on his radio program, he repeatedly pretended to vomit at the sight of the young McCain. he even suggested that she cover herself with a burka “to be extra safe”.

After hearing what Beck said about her daughter, Cindy McCain responded on Twitter: “I’m so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox: Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn, you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You aren’t.”

Not to be outdone by mom, Meghan blasted Beck in a Daily Beast column. She held no punches when she wrote,

“As a person who is known for his hot body, you must find it easy to judge the weight fluctuations of others, especially young women. If any of your daughters are ever faced with some kind of criticism of their physical appearance or weight, they should call me, because women’s body image is another issue I feel passionate about, and have become accustomed to dealing with and speaking with young women about on my college tours.”

Before Beck could manage a counter-attack, the young McCain tore into him again when she wrote,

“While we’re on the subject of you vomiting on air, maybe we should have a little talk. Clearly you have a problem with me, and possibly women in general, but the truth is, it’s 2011 and I heard your show on Fox was canceled. Isn’t that an indication that the era of the shock-jock pundit is over? Don’t you think that’s a sign you should be pulling it back a little? I mean, if you’re too conservative and outrageous for Fox, that should tell you something. There really is no need to make something like my participation in a skin-cancer PSA into a sexist rant about my weight and physical appearance, because I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Glenn: you are the only one who looks bad in this scenario…”

Beck was teetering and on the verge of suffering a TKO when Fox News host Bill O’Reilly jumped into the fray. The big surprise however, was that the falafel-waving big-mouth did not come to the defense of his Fox News associate. No, O’Reilly piled-on with the McCains. With Beck appearing on his show last Friday, O’Reilly surprisingly said, “If I was Cindy McCain, I’d slap the hell out of you,” Then, he added that he would invite Cindy McCain to his offices and “I’ll let her beat the hell out of you.”

Senator John McCain then told CNN he wouldn’t “dignify” Beck’s behavior with a comment.

7…8…9…10… Glenn Beck is down and out for the count!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Desperado song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BwOXlGbW6Q

Desperado

(sung to the Eagles song “Desperado”)

Desperado, you better come to your senses
Your racist offenses, so public now
Oh, you’re a hard one
But this will be your last season
The Fox boys are teasin’ you
Your show’s all done now

After your unseemly cryin’, boy
We knew you were unstable
We have all seen you fall apart on your set

Now it seems to me, you don’t bring
One sane sentence to the table
But what could one expect from crazy Glenn Beck

Desperado, you better fetch that old plunger
You’ll soon be flushed under that porcelain throne
Your kingdom, your kingdom fell and it’s not all that shocking
You just kept on talking till you were all alone

Will your deep dark soul hibernate in slime?
Your name, Glenn Beck, constitutes a crime
As does most everything that you say
Your sponsors all fleeing your show
Ain’t it funny as we watch them go away?

Desperado, You’ve shown us all what nonsense is
The prevailing sense is, you only hate
Your tears are rainin’, cuz you know nobody loves you
The Lord in Heaven up above you
(heaven up above you)
The Lord in Heaven up above you will decide your fate

Today Is The Second Birthday Of Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off !!!

What began as a fun little pastime has blossomed into two year’s worth of blogging. In December of 2008 yours truly was recovering from knee surgery and as a means to fight the boredom of the passive-motion machine, I  started perusing the comment sections of various blogs that I happened upon. Soon thereafter, I too began leaving comments of a political nature. Then, to have some fun, I began to post a few political song parodies based upon 1960′s and 1970′s television theme songs. Eventually I began to spend most of my time on a blog known as The Mudflats because I enjoyed the numerous posts about Sarah Palin.

By the early Spring  my comments were solely of the musical kind. To be honest however, my frequent postings seemed to annoy a number of The Mudflats‘ readers who desired more prose than poems. At that point the Mudflats‘ administrator suggested that I start a blog of my own (probably to get rid of me). The idea sounded great but impossible for this computer-challenged scribe. I did not even know what the word blog meant (by the way, I still don’t). Thankfully, the friendly neighborhood Mudflats administrator held my hand and walked me through the process of creating what you are reading today. I remain forever thankful.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off debuted on May 13, 2009. Nobody noticed. Little by little however, the readership increased and the growing traffic encouraged me to carry on. The task was made easier by Sarah Palin’s ever escalating shenanigans. Palin and her crazy family were simply spoon-feeding material to comment upon. In fact, she provided so much material that I ran out of television theme songs. Consequently, I was forced to venture into the world of popular music for the song parodies. Although the pop music world seemed to unveil a limitless number of songs it also made the task of parody more difficult. You see, pop songs are a lot longer and have way more lyrics than television theme songs. Fortunately, we were then blessed with the emergence of the moonbat-crazy Tea Baggers, Michele Bachmann and Glenn Beck’s descent into insanity and the non-masturbatory life of Christine O’Donnell. Somehow we persevered and here we are today celebrating our second birthday.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by over the last 24 months. I would especially like to thank those that leave a comment now and again. Those comments provide a sense of worthiness as well as inspiration and new material for later posts. Once again, I thank all of you.

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

Beck And Huckabee: Nazis And Cancer

This week’s episode of Celebrity Death Match features former Arkansas Governor and failed 2008 Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) and moonbat-crazy, soon to be former Fox News host Glenn Beck(enstein).

The feud began when Beck labeled Huckabee as a “progressive” on his radio show because of his forthright support for First Lady Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity initiatives. Leaving aside for the moment the ridiculous notion that somehow fighting obesity can be categorized as “bad” or “progressive”, Beck often compares the term “progressive” to cancer and Nazis. Then again, Beck pretty much compares everything to Nazis.

Mike Huckabee however, was not amused. CNN reports that Huckabee took to his blog to blast Beck in response, saying, “This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a progressive, which he has said is the same as a ‘cancer’ and a ‘Nazi.’ What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews?” Huckabee did not stop there. He went on to write,

“He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable…Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. He ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.”

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives eat their young?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …