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Rick Perry Exits Stage Right…Very Far Right

The insane asylum that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates is losing patients at an increasing rate. By quitting the race, Tim Pawlenty, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman have all demonstrated vast improvement in their ability to separate reality from fantasy. Those candidates have all made substantial progress by finally realizing that it was only fantasy to consider themselves qualified contenders for the presidency. They eventually accepted the reality that they are unelectable clowns and their quitting served to release them from the confines of false illusion.

Yesterday, Rick Perry joined them on the road to recovery. He too has now quit the race.

Rick Perry in fact, may have been the most delusional of all the clowns beneath The Koch Bros. and Tea Baggers Flying Republican Circus Big Top. This Texan’s ten gallon hat was filled with ten gallons of dumb. Take for example, his bizarre stump speech antics in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States.

Things got even worse at the Republican debate which followed. Perry made a fool of himself in front of his GOP opponents, the moderators, the live audience and the television audience. The Texas Governor was asked a question about his tax and spending plan — but completely blew the answer by looking like a complete fool. Perry was listing the three Cabinet agencies he wants to abolish — and forgot the third one. Remember how it transpired?

  • Perry:  And I will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see…Okay. Commerce, Education, and the —”
  • Romney:  EPA?
  • Perry:  EPA, there you go.
  • Moderator:  Seriously, is EPA the one you are talking about?
  • Perry:  No sir, no, sir. We are talking about the  – agencies of government – EPA needs to be rebuilt.
  • Moderator:  You can’t – you can’t name the third one?
  • Perry:  The third agency of government I would – I would do away with education, the Commerce…Commerce and, let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.

It is hard to believe, but things got even worse for Rick Perry after those fumbles. While speaking to a group of students in New Hampshire, Perry misinformed his young audience that the voting age is 21 (it is 18). He also told them to vote on November 12, 2012 which is not the day of the election (it is November 6th). Then, after finishing embarrassingly low in the Iowa Caucuses, he lurched very far to the right and announced that he changed his position on abortion. He was now against abortion in all cases, even in the case of rape or incest.

Another poor showing in the New Hampshire primary sealed Perry’s fate. He has now joined the quitting team of Pawlenty, Cain, Bachmann and Huntsman.

And then there were four. The remaining lunatics are Newt “Open Marriage” Gingrich, Mitt “15%” Romney, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum and Ron “Racist” Paul. As soon as Paul quits, America can rest assured that in 2012 there will be “No New Texans”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Come Monday song link:


 (sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday”)

Heading out from ol’ El Paso
For campaignin’ and making dough
Rick’s got his ten-gallon on
He’s got his Colt 45, now he can lock and load

And Romney, he didn’t know
That he’d be trailing his foe
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Yes, Rick Perry is a bummer
Simple talk and lack of brains
And he wants to lead our nation
Some things are hard to explain

His state’s unemployment rolls grow
Its graduation rates are so low
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
An academic haze back in his college days
His degree should have just been denied

Trouble raisin’ money
A hay-chewin’ dumb redneck cow
He’ll get the white vote in Montana
Cuz cowboys love him without a doubt

Rick craves Pennsylvania Ave. scenery
Those gals have nice smellin’ hair
He’ll love bowling on Tuesdays
Not to mention his gubmint health care

San Antonio has worn Rick quite thin
He’ll take care of his oil-drillin’ friends
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 90

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: If you would like to boycott some products who’s profits fund the Koch Bros’ radical conservative right-wing agenda, The Nation has done some research for you. Here they are: Quilted Northern and Angel Soft toilet paper (seems appropriate doesn’t it?); Brawny and Sparkle paper towels (known to clean up those ugly Koch Bros’ messes); Mardi Gras napkins (good for wiping your mouth after spitting vile lies); Vanity Fair disposable plates (for those who do not like to clean up their own messes) and Dixie Cups (for drinking Conservative Kool Aid).

THIS JUST IN: reminds us exactly what we will lose if the Tea Party ever gains power:

  • Social Security and Medicare
  • Medicaid, SCHIP, and other health care programs
  • All federal education programs
  • All federal antipoverty programs
  • Federal disaster relief
  • Federal food safety inspections and other food safety programs
  • Child labor laws, the minimum wage, overtime, and other labor protections
  • Federal civil rights laws

BREAKING NEWS:  House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) warned last Monday that any stimulus spending in President Obama’s  jobs bill will face fierce opposition from Republicans. Eric truly puts the “Can’t” in Cantor.

THIS JUST IN:  In light of the audience and candidate behavior at the last two Republican debates, it is now evident that conservatives are fine with everybody (except unborn babies) dying.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Put Your Mouth Where Our Money Is” features moonbat-crazy Teapublican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. Two bioethics professors have offered to pay more than $10,000 for medical records that prove the anecdote (the HPV vaccination cause “mental retardation”) that Bachmann told after Monday night’s Republican presidential debate is true. To date, not unexpectedly, Bachmann has not responded.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Michele Bachmann, inasmuch as the wild-eyed corndog-scoffing Tea-Bagger had the blatant audacity to utter the outlawed words “mental retardation”, will Sarah Palin return volley with her mandatory rebuke? Don’t hold your breath. Palin has a history of only criticizing Democrats and not Republicans for the offense.

THIS JUST IN: reports that “Sen. Bernie Sanders, (I-Vt.), today introduced a bill that, if passed by Congress and signed by the President, would insure Social Security’s solvency for the next 75 years—without having to cut a single person’s benefit.”  Sanders’ solution is simple: gradually eliminate the cap on wages subject to the payroll tax starting with people earning more than $250,000.00. This is the guy that should be advising President Obama on economic matters.

BREAKING NEWS:  Wisconsin’s Republican Governor Scott Walker is having a very difficult time. He already faces a recall election after Wisconsin residents voiced their objection to his draconian attack on labor unions. Now, just this week, the FBI raided the home of one of his former top aides in what is presumed to be an investigation of aides campaigning for Walker on the taxpayer dollar and perhaps also some “pay to play”. Aah Scott Walker, we hardly knew ye!

THIS JUST IN:  Massachusetts Democrats have reason to celebrate. Teapublican Sen. Scott “Nudey” Brown finally has a serious opponent to his 2012 re-election efforts. Elizabeth Warren, the Harvard Law School professor, consumer advocate and architect of the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has announced her candidacy for Ted Kennedy’s senate seat. The recapturing by Democrats of that seat would go a long way towards the party retaining its majority status in that congressional chamber. Scott Brown and his anti-middle class stance is not a good fit for true-blue Massachusetts.  Please consider making a donation to Elizabeth Warren’s campaign, here.


Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:


(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

You two would make quite a pair
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – you’ll get kicked out the door
Scott Brown – Won’t take a minute more
Scott Brown – Private life’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 87

Sorry about the late post but these beach days are cutting into Lynnrockets’ productivity!

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  It is OK if the House Republicans have not passed one single job creation bill since they made the promise to do so back in 2010. Who needs them? Great news this week was that 117,000 jobs were added last month and the numbers for the last 2 months were revised upwards by 56,000 jobs. These job numbers surpassed all predictions. all gains were in the private sector and unemployment is decreasing. Change we can count on.

THIS JUST IN:  The latest example of sleazy Republican tactics to reduce the Democratic vote. Americans For Prosperity (a Koch Bros. owned front) is mailing absentee ballots to Democrats in at least 2 Wisconsin state Senate recall districts with instructions to return the paperwork after the election date. This follows shortly after the GOP Gov. (facing recall) announced closing 10 voter ID issuing DMVs in Democratic districts. Why is the GOP afraid of voters?

BREAKING NEWS:  All Americans should know this. ABC News reported this week that 4 of the 8 Republicans running for President and who claim they know how to bring manufacturing jobs back to the US have their campaign t-shirts manufactured in other countries. The offenders are Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain and Ron Paul.

THIS JUST IN: Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) has summed things up pretty well. He says, “The rich are getting richer. Their effective tax rate, in recent years, has been reduced to the lowest in modern history. Nurses, teachers and firemen actually pay a higher tax rate than some billionaires. It’s no wonder the American people are angry.”

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time somebody tells you that the Tea Party is gaining momentum, inform them of this. The St Louis Tea Party had scheduled a rally on August 4, 2011 which was expected to fill the Kiener Plaza. Instead, the event received only 3, yes 3, confirmations of attendance and the rally was cancelled. This follows upon the cancellation of the Tea Party’s 2011 convention for lack of reservations and the disastrous showing of only 50 people at last week’s Capitol Hill Tea Party rally.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Tea Party Hypocrites” features Teapublican Wisconsin state senate candidate Kim Simac. She is attempting to unseat incumbent Democrat Jim Holperin. Talking Points Memo reports that it has been revealed that the uber-patriotic themed children’s books authored by Simac are published not in the USA but in China. How is that for patriotism?

BREAKING NEWS:  Sometimes when you hear an idea for the first time, it simply sounds stupid. Then, when you take the time to really ponder it, you understand that it is even more stupid than you originally thought. That is the case with Republican Fox News host Mike Huckabee and his idea that President Obama should fire Timothy Geithner and “Ask Donald Trump to be Treasury secretary.” So, in Huckabee’s opinion, the way to guide the nation out of its economic problems is to have the economy presided over by a man who has declared bankruptcy four times. Here is a better idea: Mike Huckabee should stay out of politics and continue to play the guitar!

SPECIAL NOTE ONE:  It was great to see the Boston Red Sox turn things around yesterday at Fenway Park and wallop the New York Yankees while regaining sole possession of first in the American League East standings. Here’s hoping the trend continues in Game 3 of the series tonight.

SPECIAL NOTE TWO:  The J, Geils Band concert last night at the Pavilion in Boston was terrific. Here is a portion of the review from the Boston Herald:  “Seeing the Boston Whammer Jammers at a sold-out Bank of America Pavilion on a fine summer Saturday night … was great. During that old, brilliant warhorse “Must of Got Lost,” it was damn near transcendent. Last night, Wolf was the consummate showman — still as scrawny, screwy and fun as he always was. And he held court all night long, leading the boys through rock ’n’ roll ser-mons including “Homework” and “Night Time.” Guitarist J. Geils proved why he’s the namesake, with his burn-down-the-house-slowly solo on “One Last Kiss” and the churning Chicago blues of “Detroit Breakdown.” Then there was harmonica maestro Magic Dick —the dude is killer (monster moment: the dirty groove harp on “Sanctuary”). And I didn’t even get to their secret-weapon organist Seth Justman or guest guitarist Duke Levine. The diehards dug it when Geils and Co. reached into their back pages with the bar-band favorites that conquered every honky-tonk and gin joint from here to the Motor City.

There is not yet any video of available from last night’s show. So, in the meantime please enjoy this clip of Peter Wolf joing Elvis Costello and The Imposters on stage at Boston’s Wang Theatre last May:

Tea Bagging Racist Ron Paul Announces Run For 2012 Presidency

Ron Paul and his sane supporters.

How appropriate that wacky Republican Ron Paul would announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on Friday the 13th. This unlucky day might doom his own campaign while simultaneously bringing bad luck to the other Republican candidates who will lose primary votes to the pied-piper of Tea Party lunatics. Ron Paul is just the type of conservative wild-card that the Democrats were hoping for. He adds to the potential GOP cadre of crackpots like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, yet he also has the ability to garner enough primary votes to vanquish the chances of some of the more viable Republican candidates. Ron Paul might just be Barack Obama’s best secret weapon.

If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s craziness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking);

In an attempt to deflect criticism regarding these quotes Paul said the documents were authored by ghostwriters, and that while he did not author the challenged passages, he bore “some moral responsibility” for their publication. Gee, do ya think?

Has Ron Paul said anything interesting of late you ask? reports that in a radio interview Tuesday, Paul said that the U.S. government could have worked with Pakistan to secure Usama bin Laden’s capture instead of unilaterally entering the country and killing him — despite concerns that the Pakistanis could have tipped him off.  Paul said,

“It was absolutely not necessary. What if he had been in a hotel in London? So would we have sent the … helicopters into London because they were afraid the information would get out? No, you don’t want to do that.”

So let’s get this straight. Ron Paul believes that the Pakistani government (which has a history of non-cooperation and outright misleading of the US government) would have been just as cooperative as our longtime ally the British government in apprehending Osama bin Laden. Things that make you say, “Hmm?” Indeed, that wacky statement even raised the hackles of some of his cultishly loyal Tea Baggers. Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips said on his website,

“If there is any doubt that Ron Paul should not even get near the Oval Office, even on a tour of the White House, he has just revealed it. For a Congressman to say the raid to kill the man who is one of the greatest mass murderers of Americans in history was, ‘not necessary,’ is simply nuts.”

Luckily (for us progressives), inasmuch as most members of the Tea Party read the news about as frequently as Sarah Palin (see Katie Couric interview), they will not know about Paul’s statement or Tea Party Nation’s comment thereon. Consequently, they will still support Paul in large numbers. All in all, Ron Paul’s inclusion in the “Koch Bros. and Flying Republican Nomination Circus” is sure to be entertaining fun for the whole family.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:


(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)