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Sarah Palin: The Gaffe Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sarah Palin was a gift to Democrats during the 2008 Presidential election cycle. She not only sunk any chance that the Republicans had of keeping the White House, but her constant mishaps and blunders entertained even those who do not follow politics. Remember when she could not name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads to keep current on the affairs of the nation? Remember when she said health care reform “is all about job creation”? Remember when she could not remember Joe Biden’s name (O’Biden)? Remember when she was incapable of describing the job of the Vice President to an elementary school student? Best of all, she inspired Tina Fey to create one of the most accurate and funny politician portrayals in the history of comedic politician portrayals.

Thankfully, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska continued to entertain us even after she blew the election. In May of 2010, Palin appeared on Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor” to talk about the controversy over the “National Day of Prayer”, during which, she boldly announced that the US should base its laws on The Bible, just as the Founding Fathers intended. Speaking of the Founding Fathers, when asked about the “under God” reference in the Pledge of Allegiance, Palin said, “If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers, its good enough for me” (of course the Pledge of Allegiance was not written until more than 100 years after the Founding Fathers). How about when she wrote in her book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag” that, “Susan B. Anthony saw the fight for the rights of the unborn as part of the broader fight for women’s rights.”? Remember her 2009 interview on “Good Morning America” when she referenced the fictitious “White House Department of Law”? Was there anyone who did not laugh out loud in 2011 when, during her “bus tour” stop in Boston, she said that Paul Revere rode on horseback and “”warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells…”” (Even American school kids of course,  are  aware Revere actually rode from Boston to Lexington warning the COLONISTS that the British Army was marching in their direction).

Guess what? The “Sarah Palin Stupid Train” continues to roll down the tracks of our tears of laughter!

We can thank the Topeka Capital-Journal of Kansas for exposing Sarah Palin’s latest blunder. It seems that lots of Kansas voters received a robo-call from Palin in which she solicited them to vote for the Tea Party endorsed Ted Cruz for the U.S. Senate. She said, “Ted Cruz is a true conservative you can trust to stand on principle and change the way Washington does business. Today, through May 25, please vote early for Ted Cruz for U.S. Senate.” Palin ended the call by saying, “Join me. Choose Cruz for Senate.”

That is quite a ringing endorsement from Sarah Palin. Question is, why would she be asking Kansans to vote for a man who is running for the U.S. Senate seat in TEXAS?

Sometimes  you just can’t make this stuff up!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvx7RcEX8w4

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Sarah Palin Is Gingrich’s Newest Mistress!

The Christmas season may be over but progressive bloggers just received another present. Lo and behold, Sarah Palin has reemerged (no word on whether or not she saw her shadow).

Just prior to the Republican South Carolina primary election (and dutifully following in the footsteps of husband Todd “First Dude” Palin), Sarah Palin has endorsed Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich. She did so while appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show (where else?). When Hannity asked Palin if she would endorse Gingrich she said, “If I had to vote in South Carolina, in order to keep this thing going, I’d vote for Newt.”

The next day after receiving Palin’s endorsement, the serial-philandering Newt Gingrich made an announcement and promise of his very own. While appearing on CNN‘s Wolf Blitzer show (what? Not Fox?), Gingrich was asked whether he would consider naming Sarah Palin his Vice Presidential running mate in light of her endorsement. Gingrich replied as follows: “I would ask her to consider taking a major role in the next administration if I’m president…”.

A “major role” in a Presidential administration generally means a cabinet appointment. Can you imagine the likes of Sarah Palin having a cabinet position? Yikes! What particular position might that be?

Secretary of State:  Nope. Palin believes that North Korea is our ally;

Secretary of Defense:  Nope. Palin has a “trigger finger” as demonstrated on her reality television show;

Secretary of Labor:  Not a chance. There are too many questions surrounding her own labor while carrying her fifth child.

Secretary of Transportation:  Nope. An in-depth knowledge of the working of snow-machines is not a qualification;

Secretary of Agriculture:  Nope. Not much agriculture in the snowy wilds of Alaska;

Secretary of Education:  Nope. Palin is shockingly unqualified for this position inasmuch as it took her 6 years and 5 different colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree. Also, have you ever heard her try to speak? Her unfamiliarity with American history was on display when she said that Paul Revere was warning the British by means of firing musket shots and ringing bells on his famous “Midnight Ride”;

Secretary of Energy: “Drill Baby, Drill” – No Chance;

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development:  Nope. Palin has never been in an urban area for any period of time and have you noticed the lack of building codes in Alaska? If not, go to the beautiful City of Wasilla sometime;

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Nope. I refer you to the aforementioned wild plane rides while in labor with her 5th child;

Secretary of Veterans Affairs:  Nope. She has a publicly stated hatred for entitlements of all kinds;

Secretary of Commerce:  Nope. she played too loose and fast with her own PAC’s funds and she charged the taxpayers of Alaska for all those plane trips and hotels enjoyed by her children. Don’t forget all those expensive RNC-purchased clothes that she never returned;

Secretary of Homeland Security:  Nope. Palin mistakenly thinks that when “Putin raises his head and enters U.S. airspace”, he does so over Alaska;

Secretary of Treasury:  Nope. See Secretary of Commerce;

Attorney General: Nope. She is not qualified to be an attorney; and

UN Ambassador:  God help us!

Perhaps Newt Gingrich should simply consider appointing Sarah Palin to the only secretary position she is qualified for. She spends so much time on Facebook and Twitter, that she would be an excellent data entry clerk in the general secretarial pool.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, and she was Todd’s type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

Sarah Palin Raises Some Cain

Over the last three years we have witnessed Sarah Palin make just about every conceivable gaffe we could think of. While being interviewed by Katie Couric, she could not name one single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade and she was unable to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads. She told a third grader that the Vice President runs the Senate. She has claimed that the Founding Fathers said the Pledge of Allegiance. She said that our Constitution is based on the Bible. She said that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion. She claimed that Democrats moved the words “In God We Trust” on coins. She claimed that the White House has a Department of Law. She stated that the First Amendment protects against attacks from the media. She claimed that our new health care law contained “death panels” and most striking of all, she claimed that the purpose of Paul Revere’s “Midnight Ride” was to warn the British by means of ringing bells and firing warning shots.

Now we have a new Palin blunder. She appeared as a guest on Fox News’ “On The Record” with Greta Van Susteren the other night. Her diatribe consisted of the usual indecipherable word salad but she threw in a new twist. While discussing the recent developments in the GOP primary race she referred to Presidential candidate Herman Cain as the “flavor of the week” and then proceeded to repeatedly refer to him as as “Herb”. Jeesh, you would think that she could at least get a Presidential candidate’s name straight.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Pump It Up song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo

FUDGE IT UP

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Pump It Up”)

Palin’s losing her looks
She’s into banning books
Time to face the music
Shilling for “Arctic Cat”
She’s a moonbat
Blew the race for Johnny Mac
Was the Guv but then she quit
And left the state fast

Fudge it up. Too bad she couldn’t see it.
Fudge it up. Now she can’t conceal it.

She’s so far right of center
Hell bent, not Heaven sent
Listen to her propaganda
Listen to her latest slander
Palin don’t understand
All her moves are underhand

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Hey!

She is a dumb girl
She makes us wanna hurl
Like Lorena Bobbitt
Sarah’s psychotic
When she’s on a book tour
She dresses like a whore
In those clothes Mac bought for her
A tea-bagging gal for sure

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

In the “Party of No”
Palin will never win
Soon they will kick her out
With all her inbred kin
Her “Death Panel” mission
Beat into submission
Her conical hat is made out of tin

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it.

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Palin’s Midnight Ride Through Historical Inaccuracy And Revisionism

Those are Sarah Palin’s words spoken while in Boston, the Cradle of Liberty last week. Let’s try to decipher that word salad, shall we?

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells”. OK, first of all the purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”.

She also said, “as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells.” Again, Revere never rode through town ringing bells or sending warning shots. His ride was to be conducted surreptitiously because of the fear of spies in colonial ranks.

Palin also said that the purpose of the ride was to warn the British “we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” No, this was not the purpose. After completing his ride, Revere was captured by British soldiers. They held a gun to his head and said that they would blow his brains out if he did not confess the Colonists’ plans. Paul Revere then told them what he had done under threat of death. At no time prior to or during his ride did he intentionally warn the British of anything. As for the bells and musket shots, it was the Colonists who used that form of signal to instruct each other that it was time to amass. That happened however, after the ride was completed and Paul Revere had been apprehended.

These facts come directly from the official history posted at The Paul Revere House and from Paul Revere’s personal diary.

In the next few weeks you will read and hear a lot of Palin apologists attempting to revise what she said to more accurately reflect what really happened in 1775. Do not believe any of it and force them to use Palin’s own words to defend their assertions. Do not be persuaded by any unqualified pseudo-historians that Fox News is certain to trot out. Fox will never reveal that those folks will have had a history of either defending Palin or the conservative right. Remind them that Palin has a long history of getting historical facts completely wrong.

Remember, this is also the fool who said that the founding fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance at their meetings when in fact, the pledge was not even written until more than 100 years later. She also said, that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion by saying, “Susan B. Anthony saw the fight for the rights of the unborn as part of the broader fight for women’s rights.” She also said that the First amendment defends against media attacks!

Bill Maher summed up the Palin situation best when he said, “Sarah Palin should not be on summer vacation. She should be in summer school.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Johnny B. Goode song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUuE_WaTZGY

PALIN, SHE’S GOOD

 (sung to the Chuck Berry song “Johnny B. Goode”)

While visiting ol’ Boston in designer jeans
Sarah Palin told us what the “Midnight Ride” means
While at the Old North Church in Paul Revere’s hood
It all became quite clear just what she understood
She never ever learned to read or write so well,
And boy what a whopper of a tale she did tell

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

She told us Paul Revere warned the Brits of our attack
By firing warning shots to make them go back
Oh, and he was ringing bells while riding through glen and glade
You just wouldn’t believe all the damn racket he made
People he passed by they would stop and say,
“What happened to the lanterns in the church today?”

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go, Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Go Sarah Go   Go
Palin, she’s good

(publicity stunt break)

Revisionism is the Sarah Palin plan
She wants the children’s history books to be banned
Palin cannot tell a verb from a noun
But she knows men used to ride dinosaurs around
She thinks Ben Franklin discovered the kite
Do you think that she could be right?

Go, Go,   Go, Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Go, Go Sarah Go
Go, Palin, she’s good.

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 81

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  The Republicans have been correct all along. There is voter fraud. Unfortunately for the GOP however, it is their side that appears to be committing it. Firedoglake.com reports that in Wisconsin three of the recall elections against Republican state senators have been certified. Additionally, there is a hearing scheduled this week to deal with challenges to the other six – three against Republicans, three against Democrats. But the Government Accountability Board has delayed the decision on the Democratic recalls, because of allegations of faulty signature-gathering.

THIS JUST IN:  Conservative commentator George F. Will appeared on ABC’s “This Week” and said this about the possibility of Sarah Palin being trusted with nuclear weapons,

“The threshold question, not usually asked, but it’s in everyone’s mind in a presidential election. ‘Should we give this person nuclear weapons?’ And the answer [in Palin’s case], answers itself.”

Ouch! That is going to leave a mark.

BREAKING NEWS:  Question of the week. How many more innocent people must be gunned down in Arizona before that renegade state gets serious about gun control?

THIS JUST IN:  A California Federal court judge has ruled that the civil lawsuit filed by a former ACORN employee against propaganda film-maker James O’Keefe III and an associate can move forward. O’Keefe is the person who posed as a pimp and secretly recorded a conversation with the ACORN employee before publishing an extensively edited version. The California Attorney General’s Office investigated Acorn in 2009, but ultimately found that the conversations, while “highly inappropriate,” were not in violation of state criminal laws. In the case at bar, U.S. Judge M. James Lorenz ruled that the First Amendment does not protect the alleged illegal conduct of the two conservative activists.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see Fox News take a beating this week. Newscorpse.com reports that “This was a really bad month for Fox News which lost viewers in the demo for every primetime show. Bill O’Reilly dropped 9%, Sean Hannity dropped 6%, and Greta Van Susteren dropped 12%. These declines occurred while almost every primetime program for both CNN and MSNBC gained by double digits. The only good news for Fox is that Glenn Beck, which sunk 17% in the demo, has already been canceled so he can’t do too much more harm. An interesting wrinkle in this book is that MSNBC was also the number one cable news network among 18-34 year-olds in primetime, with a 7% advantage over CNN and a 14% lead over Fox News.”

THIS JUST IN: Sarah Palin quote of the week. While participating in the Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally last week in Washington DC, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska said, “I love that smell of the emissions!” ‘Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Publicity Stunts That Keep Repeating Themselves” features Donald Trump. The bankrupt billionaire now says that he has not ruled out running for President in 2012. This time however, The Donald states that he may run as an Independent. Let’s hope that he does and thereby splits the Republican vote!

THIS JUST IN: Mark your calendars and begin planning the party. it has been announced that Glenn Beck‘s Fox News program will finally be cancelled on June 30th. Can I have an “Amen”?

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News comment of the week. Headline: “Los Angeles Police Nab ‘Main Aggressor’ In Giants Fan Beating”. Comment: “a thousand Mexocans should die for what happened to Mr. Stow. why do we continue to put up with this race of brown vermin.. why???”

THIS JUST IN:  The newest Republican Presidential candidate has put himself at odds with his party and its base yet again. Mitt Romney yesterday reaffirmed his view that global warming is occurring and that humans are contributing to it. This may spell doom for his election chances as conservatives do not believe in science.

BREAKING NEWS: Just in case you somehow missed it, here is Sarah Palin‘s version of Paul Revere’s ride which she gave while in Boston this week:

He was warning the British? He was ringing bells? Wouldn’t ringing bells defeat the whole purpose of quietly lighting the lanterns so as not to alert the enemy? Palin really should have Netflix send over those school-House Rock dvd’s before she makes any more public statements.

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but has anyone heard from Ann “The Man” Coulter or Michelle “Anchor Baby” Malkin lately? Where have these two big mouths slithered off to? Their 15 minutes must have expired.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Palin’s Magical History Tour Continues…

Last call for the Palin Magical History Tour, All Aboard!

This is it folks. It appears that Sarah Palin’s family vacation/campaign tour/publicity stunt is coming to an end. The next to last stop took place yesterday in the cradle of our nation, Boston , Massachusetts. The former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska toured the Freedom Trail of historic sites and made stops at the Bunker Hill Monument (site of the Battle of Bunker Hill) and the Old North Church (place from which Paul Revere started his famous ride). The alleged “hockey mom” however, failed to make any mention of the city’s beloved Boston Bruins, who are presently competing in the Stanley Cup Finals. That is quite an oversight when one considers that most every historic statue (or as Palin would say, “statute”) in the city is presently adorned with a black and gold Bruins sweater.

Paul Revere statue

George Washington statue

and even the "Make Way For Ducklings" statues

While in Beantown, Palin could not however avoid celebrity impersonator (and Lynnrockets’ pal) Cecilia Thompson. The two came face to face in Boston’s historic North End neighborhood where they briefly hugged before Palin gave marching orders to her clone. She said, “Now you go to all these reporters and you speak for me”.

(Pat Greenhouse/Boston Globe Staff Photo)

Palin was also able to do what she does best while in Massachusetts. She ignited a war of words with former Massachusetts governor and current 2012 Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. Although Palin lacks the courage to say whether she will run for the presidency, she is not shy about picking a fight with one of her potential (and dare we say, far better qualified) opponents. Not surprisingly, she criticized the health care reform law which Romney signed into law in Massachusetts and which served as the blueprint for our new national health reform law. The Boston Globe reports that while on Romney’s home turf, Palin told reporters “In my opinion, any mandate coming from government is not a good thing.” She went on to say that the law will be one of the reasons that it “will be a big challenge” for Romney to appeal to Tea Party supporters. “It’s tough for a lot of us independent Americans to accept [the mandate] because we have great faith in the private sector and our own families and our own business men and women making decisions for ourselves, not any level of government telling us what to do.’’

It was no coincidence that Sarah Palin planned her stop in Mitt Romney’s home state on the very day that Romney was in New Hampshire announcing his campaign for the presidency. It is also no coincidence that Palin’s final stop on her bus tour is in the very same New Hampshire which holds the nation’s first primary election. Would it not be swell if Palin and Romney cross paths in the Granite State? It would be interesting to hear what Romney might say about Palin’s “Bridge to Nowhere” or her “death panels” or her decision to quit her job as governor of Alaska after only two years. Oh, to be a fly on the wall.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Magic Bus song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl9bvuAV-Ao

TRAGIC BUS

 (sung to The Who song “Magic Bus”)

Everyday she plays the big fool (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She gets on the bus and begins to drool (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s so nervous she just sits and smiles (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Sarah Palin is racking-up those miles (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She is Alaska’s “Mama Bear” (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Sarah Palin spreads hate and fear (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Piper’s there to whine and fuss (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s not in school, she’s on the bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Whoa!

It’s Gettysburg on Tuesday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s eating pizza with “The Donald” Wednesday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it,
She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

And she’ll have it!

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

She’s talking nonsense everyday
She don’t drive cuz she’s lazy
No interviews, she’s too afraid
She’s drinking lots of Tea Party Kool-Aid

Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus…
She wants the Tragic Bus, She wants the Tragic Bus, She wants the Tragic Bus…

I say soon she’ll be reduced to dust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Her history tour will be a bust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She drives us crazy everyday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Won’t Palin please just go away? (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

Soon she’ll be reduced to dust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s a crazy lady in her Tragic Bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)