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Rush Limbaugh Is Not A Fine Human Being, A Decent Person Or An Average American

The idiotic Rush Limbaugh sunk to a new low on his radio show yesterday. During a misinformative tirade, he said that neither President Obama nor First Lady Michelle Obama are a “fine human being”, “a decent person” or an “average American”.

Has Limbaugh looked in the mirror? Does this uneducated, drug-addicted, racist who has been married four times consider himself to be a “fine human being”, “a decent person” or an “average American”? Shall we take a little look at Rush Limbaugh and the events of his sterling life?

Rush Limbaugh flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. According to his mother, “he flunked everything”.

Limbaugh has been married four times. His marriages have lasted four years, seven years, ten years and one year (and counting) in successive order.

Limbaugh has publicly condemned illegal drug use for a long time. On his television program he said that “Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. … And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.”

Of course he said those things before he was exposed as being a drug addict.  On October 3, 2003 the National Enquirer reported that Limbaugh was being investigated for illegally obtaining the prescription drugs oxycodone and hydrocodone. Other news outlets quickly confirmed the investigation. He admitted to listeners on his radio show on October 10, 2003 that he was addicted to prescription painkillers and stated that he would enter inpatient treatment for 30 days, immediately after the broadcast. On April 28, 2006 a warrant was issued for his arrest on the charge of doctor shopping. According to Teri Barbera, spokeswoman for the Sheriff, during his arrest, Limbaugh was booked, photographed, and fingerprinted, but not handcuffed. He was then released after about an hour on $3,000 bail. After his surrender, he filed a “not guilty” plea to the charge. Prosecutors agreed to drop the charge if Limbaugh paid $30,000 to defray the cost of the investigation and completed an 18-month therapy regimen with his physician. Under the terms of the agreement, Limbaugh was prohibited from owning a firearm for eighteen months and must continue to submit to random drug testing. Later, in June 2006, Limbaugh was detained by drug enforcement agents at Palm Beach International Airport. Customs officials confiscated Viagra from Limbaugh’s luggage as he was returning from the Dominican Republic. The prescription was not in Limbaugh’s name.

Rush Limbaugh also appears to be a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown”. This resulted from his on-air claim that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed.  Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? Limbaugh even played a song on his radio show titled “Barack the Magic Negro,” sung to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”.

Taking all of the above into consideration, perhaps Rush Limbaugh’s most recent personal attacks against President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama are the finest example yet of the pot calling the kettle black.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi5ZB1ZZCEg

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some Oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of Vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

(racist rant break)

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue Viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Yes, Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
I just love the drug store
Painkillers, Viagra and much more
It’s such a tease
All of those varieties
I’ll grab a bunch and head right out the door.

Limbaugh Adds To The Atrocious Attacks Against Michelle Obama

The radical right-wing pundits must be at a total loss when it comes to things to be outraged about lately. How else to explain their recent rash of ridiculous rants against First Lady Michelle Obama’s initiative to reduce childhood obesity?

Like many First Ladies before her, Michelle Obama has seized her bully pulpit to help advance a worthy cause. Here are a few examples:

Ellen Wilson: Improving urban housing for blacks and immigrants
Lady Bird Johnson: Re-foresting
Rosalynn Carter: Addressing mental health issues
Nancy Reagan: “Just Say No” campaign against drug abuse
Laura Bush: Encouraging childhood reading

All of those initiatives were worthy of praise and welcomed by the public. Why then have radical right-wing pundits chosen to vilify Michelle Obama’s attempts to reduce childhood obesity which has been scientifically proven to increase adult sickness and disease and consequently pressure the already overburdened health-care system? The answer is simple. She is Michelle Obama, the wife of President Barack Obama. You see, the GOP, the Tea Party and right-wing pundits have a policy of opposing anything and everything proposed by the Obama administration regardless of merit.

Think about that for a moment. In 2009 they criticized Obama for failing to aggressively deal with the Somalian pirates that attacked an American vessel and kidnapped the ship’s captain. The conservatives claimed that Obama was weak on defense. Yet when Obama’s forces killed the pirates and rescued the captain, the right-wing claimed that Obama used excessive force against youthful perpetrators. Teapublicans railed against the 2009 stimulus package which provided billions of dollars to states that were suffering during the worst economic downturn since the great depression. Despite their opposition however, they gladly took credit for the pork that they brought back to their districts when those stimulus funds were delivered. Remember all those Republican governors, representatives and senators posing with those poster-sized checks which bore the ink-mark of the federal government. How about during the health care reform debate when Teapublicans and pundits feigned outrage at (fictitious) cuts to the Medicare program? Have you seen their recent budget proposals which call for massive cuts to both the Medicare and Social Security programs? The tactics of the right are the definition of “hypocrisy”.

Now Michelle Obama is their target. First, it was Sarah Palin that attacked her childhood nutrition initiative. On one episode of her unsuccessful reality television show, Palin was feeding “S’Mores” to her children while camping. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska then quipped, “This is in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.” Nevermind the fact that Obama has never said that children should not have dessert. In fact, at that time Ms. Obama had simply suggested that schools serve healthier lunches to our children. Someone should ask Palin whether she would rather have her children’s schools serve sugar and fat-laden lunches or something more healthy. On second thought, that issue is moot in that Palin’s children seldom attend school.

Next, it was moonbat-crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann (Teapublican-MN) who criticized Ms. Obama. The potential (but doomed) presidential candidate appeared with radical right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham last week and feigned shock that the First Lady would once again advocate on behalf of healthy children. Ms. Obama had just advocated in favor of breast-feeding as a method to reduce childhood obesity. In fact, the IRS even agreed that the cost of nursing supplies that aide in the practice would be tax-deductible. Ms. Obama explained, “We also want to focus on the important touch points in a child’s life. And what we’re learning now is that early intervention is key. Breastfeeding. Kids who are breastfed longer have a lower tendency to be obese.” Her spokeswoman Kristina Schake added, “Breastfeeding is a very personal choice for every woman. We are trying to make it easier for those who choose to do it.”

Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Ms. Obama would like to encourage mothers to breastfeed their children so that they can potentially cut into the child obesity epidemic and the children can then live healthier adult lives. Furthermore, she would like to make it easier (i.e. less costly) for mothers to continue the practice by means of providing tax relief equal to the cost of the required supplies. A win-win. Healthier children and tax relief! Sounds like a plan right out of the tax-cutting, family-values Tea Party handbook.

Despite the merit of this worthy initiative, Bachmann was horrified. In her typical over-the-top and nonsensical language, Bachmann said that the Obama breastfeeding initiative amounts to a “new definition [of] the nanny state.” She told Ingraham,

“This is very consistent with where the hard left is coming from. For them, government is the answer to every problem. I’ve given birth to five babies and I breast fed every single one of these babies.To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump for my babies? You wanna talk about the nanny state, I think you just got a new definition.”

There is no question that Michele Bachmann is a crazy person that is not to be taken seriously. But wait, Sarah Palin then took the opportunity to board Bachmann’s crazy-train to koo-koo town. While complaining about inflation, she said: “No wonder Michelle Obama is telling everybody you better breast feed your babies. I’m looking and say, ‘Yeah, you better because the price of milk is so high right now’.”

Now batting, Rush Limbaugh. CNN reports, “Michelle Obama is taking heat from talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh after a report in the Vail Daily that she consumed a not-so-healthy-meal of ribs for dinner while on a recent visit to the Colorado resort, the latest example of conservative angst directed at the first lady’s healthy-eating initiative.”

“The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn’t look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice,” Limbaugh said Monday on his radio program. “And then we hear that she’s out eating ribs at 1,500 calories a serving with 141 grams of fat per serving. She is a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to be leaders. If we are supposed to go out and eat nothing, if we are supposed to eat roots, berries, and tree bark, show us how.”

The Vail Daily reported Sunday Mrs. Obama dined at the restaurant Kelly Liken in Vail Village, ordering “a pickled pumpkin salad with arugula and a braised ancho-chile short rib with hominy wild mushrooms and sautéed kale.” The first family, minus the president, went to Colorado for a long weekend of skiing.

Once again, these critics fail to mention that Ms. Obama has always said that unhealthy foods are acceptable in moderation. Indeed, at the President’s recent Super-Bowl party, they served bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep-dish pizza and Buffalo wings with sides of German potato salad, twice-baked potatoes and assorted chips and dips. If they had served “roots, berries, and tree bark”, the radical-right would have complained that the First Family were elitists. There is simply no winning with these morons.

By the way, speaking of hypocrites, wasn’t it Rush Limbaugh that once said this about drug abusers: “These tough sentencing laws were instituted for a reason. The American people, including liberals, demanded them. Don’t you remember the crack cocaine epidemic? Crack babies and out-of-control murder rates? Liberal judges giving the bad guys slaps on the wrist? Finally we got tough, and the crime rate has been falling ever since, so what’s wrong?”

Do you really want to know “what’s wrong” Rush? Well first of all, where was Limbaugh’s voluntary submission to a tough jail sentence when it was revealed that he was an abuser of illegal drugs? Now that is hypocrisy!

What do you say we have another little song parody about Rush Limbaugh’s self-confessed drug addiction? Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

White Rabbit song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oRKvpZ7PjE&feature=related

GO ASK LIMBAUGH

(sung to the Jefferson Airplane song “White Rabbit”)

One pill makes Rush larger
But no pill makes him small
And the ones that Glenn Beck gives him
Make Rush whimper and then bawl
Go ask Limbaugh
He’s right down the hall

Rush has an addictive habit
And it’s gonna cause his fall
Like a bazooka toting ratings killer
His pills are his last call
Call Limbaugh
As he hits the wall

When Rush starts to get bored
He takes vicodin with some blow
And then he’s off to his dressing room
To prepare for his next show
Go get Limbaugh
A cup of Joe

When logic and proportion
Have escaped from his head
And this “White” Knight is talking backwards
Confusing Blue states with the Red
Remember when Rush takes his meds,
He’s brain dead
He’s brain dead

Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin: “Boobs” Who Hate Healthy Children

Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachman, a Teapublican Rep. from Minnesota, is shooting off her mouth yet again. The potential (but doomed) presidential candidate appeared with radical right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham on Tuesday’s show and feigned shock that First Lady Michelle Obama would once again advocate on behalf of healthy children. Apparently, Bachmann hates healthy children.

Recently, Michelle Obama continued her efforts to reduce childhood obesity by promoting breast feeding. Additionally, the IRS has just announced that the cost of nursing supplies that aide in the practice will be tax-deductible. The First Lady explained to reporters last week, “We also want to focus on the important touch points in a child’s life. And what we’re learning now is that early intervention is key. Breastfeeding. Kids who are breastfed longer have a lower tendency to be obese.” Her spokeswoman Kristina Schake added, “Breastfeeding is a very personal choice for every woman. We are trying to make it easier for those who choose to do it.”

Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Ms. Obama would like to encourage mothers to breastfeed their children so that they can potentially cut into the child obesity epidemic and the children can then live healthier adult lives. Furthermore, she would like to make it easier (i.e. less costly) for mothers to continue the practice by means of providing tax relief equal to the cost of the required supplies. A win-win. Healthier children and tax relief! Sounds like a plan right out of the tax-cutting, family-values Tea Party handbook.

But wait! We have a dilemma here. Another Teapublican rule is that members must oppose anything and everything promoted by the Obama administration regardless of its merit. Michele Bachmann is the Tea Party champion when it comes to obstinence. If Barack Obama suddenly switched parties and became a Republican, Bachmann would become a Democrat. How else can you explain her shocking opposition to this proposed tax relief? In her typical over-the-top and nonsensical language, Bachmann said that the Obama breastfeeding initiative amounts to a “new definition [of] the nanny state.” She told Ingraham,

“This is very consistent with where the hard left is coming from. For them, government is the answer to every problem. I’ve given birth to five babies and I breast fed every single one of these babies.To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump for my babies? You wanna talk about the nanny state, I think you just got a new definition.”

Fade in, the sound of crickets. Michelle Bachmann makes as much sense as Sarah Palin did when, on her reality TV show, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska criticized the First Lady for advocating a healthy diet. Bachmann, Palin and their ilk are simply imbeciles. They fail to understand that when the government promotes a healthy life-style, it is not forcing or coercing members of the public to engage in one. When Predident John F. Kennedy famously said, “ask what you can do for your country”, he was not forcing America’s youth to seek government employment. Indeed, the government’s promotion of a healthy lifestyle is no different than the government’s issuance of storm preparation procedures prior to a hurricane. In these instances the government is simply looking out for the people’s best interests by suggesting (not commanding) a plan of action.

Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin could each use a refresher course in junior-high civics.

Bonus: If you would like to read how Michele Bachmann was finally forced to admit that the Republican House has no ability to defund the new health care reform law after she lied all through election season that it could be defunded, click here.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Foxy Lady song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnkYatAT7NE

FOXY LADIES

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Foxy Lady”)

Foxy
Foxy

These two, they’re a couple of smart-fakers
Foxy
But they’re just a couple of hate-mongers
Foxy

Fox makes them feel at home
Do they have any charm? No!
But they’re on all the time, prime-time
Ooh, Foxy ladies

Foxy
Foxy

Palin, she’s just so spiteful and mean
Ooh, Foxy
She makes us wanna get up and scream
Foxy
And Michele Bachmann now
Has just lost her mind
They’re both just wasting all our precious time
But Fox thinks they’re fine, so fine
Foxy Ladies
They’re so dumb

Foxy
Foxy
Foxy
Foxy

Yeah, just listen to them drone
As they sound they’re alarms, Whoa
Fox says they are so fine, prime-time
Foxy ladies

They’re just dumb ladies
We’d love to forget ya
Foxy ladies
You’re both no good
Yeah, Foxy
You’re both so dumb
Foxy
Sour lemonade
You’re spreadin’ fear. Yikes
Night and day on Foxy
Foxy
Foxy ladies
Foxy ladies

Palin To Receive “Just Desserts” For Attacks Against First Lady?

One is smart and one's a tart!

As was revealed last week, three national polls indicate that in a head-to-head match-up against Barack Obama for the 2012 Presidency, Palin would be shellacked. Each of those polls showed Obama winning by double digits with one poll giving him a whopping 22 point advantage. Palin admitted on Friday’s episode of Good Morning America that the poll results were “lousy”.

So what does the “Queen of Quit” do in an attempt to rehabilitate her blemished image? Does she “reload not retreat” and continue with her attacks against the President? Of course not. She now realizes that that tactic is failing. Consequently, the ex-former, quitting, half-term Governor of Alaska has set her sights on a different target. She can’t hurt the President personally, so she has now initiated a cat-fight and turned on his wife, the First Lady. Meow!

Is Palin unaware that Michelle Obama enjoys the highest positive ratings of just about anybody in the public eye? That means that it would be even more difficult to tarnish her public image than that of the President’s. Moreover, Palin has elected to criticize Michelle Obama’s signature public policy mission which is to educate families and children about the negative effects of obesity and help them to choose a more healthy diet. A sane rational person might deduce that the First Lady’s mission is both beneficial to the general health of our nation and wildly popular with parents who must compete on a daily basis with massive corporations touting sugar and fat laden foods that are tantamount to a heart attack in a box. A sane rational person might understand that obesity is pervasive as is evidenced by reality television shows such as “The Biggest Loser”. A sane rational person would also connect the dots and understand that a healthier population would help bring down the skyrocketing costs of medical treatment which are handcuffing our nation. A sane rational person, at the very least, would realize that promoting a healthy diet is not a bad thing. Sarah Palin however, is not a sane rational person.

In a blatant swipe at Ms. Obama in Sunday’s episode of her un-reality television show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, Palin was shown making s’mores and she proclaims the marshmallow and chocolate treat is “in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.” Of course that is not in any way what the First Lady actually said. Sarah Palin of course, misconstrues the words of others as much as she butchers the English language. Michelle Obama actually said this,

“In the afternoon, there was no way we’d be allowed to lie around the house watching TV. Our parents made us get up and play outside. As I tell my kids, dessert is not a right.”

Once again, a sane rational person would understand that Michelle Obama was simply explaining that tasty desserts should be earned by physical activities which reduce the ill effects of the sugary treats. Once again however, Sarah Palin has demonstrated that she is not a sane rational person.

CNN informs us that this was not not the first time Palin has taken a job at Mrs. Obama over her campaign to discourage fattening foods, especially from public schools. The former vice presidential nominee told conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham last month that “the first lady cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat.” Palin also hand-delivered cookies to a Pennsylvania school last month before delivering a speech there, saying: “Who should be deciding what I eat? Should it be government or should it be parents? It should be the parents.”

Sarah Palin is a buffoon. After all, what sane rational parent would object to healthy food being fed to their children at public school rather than unhealthy fat-laden foods? Would Palin also object to those school crossing guards on the grounds that, “Who should be deciding when my child crosses the street? Should it be government or should it be parents?” Probably.

In addition to the futility of her attacks against promoting a healthy diet for children, Palin has also been exposed as a hypocrite. Whatever happened to her edict that family members should be “off limits” in the world of political debate? Palin has violated her very own golden rule by attacking the President’s wife. After all, he is the elected official, not Michelle. What would her response be if Barack Obama criticized daughter Bristol’s teen abstinence campaign as “closing the door after the horse has fled the barn”? Would she play the victim card yet again? You betcha!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4wu58XTr4

SARAH PALIN’S COMING TO TOWN

(sung to the Patti Page version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Get your wallet out
Wink and blink your eyes
Holler and shout
At protesting guys
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

She’ll fleece you while your sleeping
Your money she will take
She’ll force you to purchase her book
Although the story’s fake

Oh, get your money out
So that you can buy
Can’t be without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town