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Sarah Palin Fans: Brain-Dead In Ohio

Sarah Palin brings gift to the King of Ohio.

Sarah Palin’s Magical Mavericky Tour made a stop in Columbus, Ohio this week. Needless to say, all of that city’s brain-dead nutcases stormed the local Borders Books in an attempt to meet and greet the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Words cannot describe however, the lack of intelligence on display at the book signing. There has never  been a lesser informed group of people assembled in one public place since all of those zombies congregated at the shopping mall in the George Romero film, Dawn Of The Dead? Okay, perhaps there were more brain-dead zombies at Glenn Beck’s Tea-Bagger protest in Washington, DC, but we did not get as good a look at their individual stupidity at that event as we did in Columbus. Please watch the video clip below to get a good taste.

Duh, “She’s the epitome of conservative-ness.” Bwa-ha-ha-ha !!!

“She’s someone that can make a difference but I never thought about it.” Slapping knees with laughter!!!

“I don’t know what she knows or doesn’t know. I wouldn’t know half the things anyone would ask me.” Huh?

“The politically correctness has got to get out now.” Please stop, you’re killing me.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Ohio song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI7-m919ynU&feature=related

BRAIN DEAD IN OHIO

(sung to the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song “Ohio”)

Tin helmuts and Palin’s slummin’
Intelligence bought on loan
To Borders these fools are comin’
Brain-dead in Ohio

Add a few clowns to it
Columbus is such a strange town
People that aren’t “in the know”
Went to meet Palin and
They made some mumbling sounds
And they forked over their dough

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

‘Nother small town blew it
By letting Palin hang ‘round
Should have realized long ago
Don’t even know her, yet
They feel she is profound
They’re as dumb as Plumber Joe

These morons see Palin comin’
They can’t wait to hear her drone
When she leaves they will be bummin’
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin Takes The Money And Runs

Palin gives the kiss-off to book buying fans in Indiana.

Remember during the 2008 Presidential campaign when John McCain and Sarah Palin rolled out those commercials wherein they compared Democratic Party nominee Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an attempt to characterize the future president as a celebrity lightweight? Well, as Reverend Wright once said, “the chickens have come home to roost.” You see, Sarah Palin has now evolved into just the type of air-headed celebrity diva that she at one time criticized. Exhibit 1; she has no meaningful employment (like Paris Hilton) and is famous in the eyes of her fans for nothing other than her personality and for being famous. Exhibit 2; her personal and family life is a mess (like Britney Spears) filled with a single mother teen daughter, an unemployed husband, a criminal sister-in-law, an estranged brother-in-law and an estranged once and future son-in-law that also happens to be the father of her grandson. Exhibit 3; Sarah Palin is now on a rock star like national book-tour to promote a book that she could not even write on her own.

The book-tour itself has not gone without the type of controversy that so often surrounds celebrity divas. Take for example yesterday’s appearance at Fort Bragg where Palin was ordered by Army command to essentially “sit down and shut up”. Although the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska so often drapes herself in the flag and presents herself as an icon of and the primary supporter of our military forces, the military does not return the favor. The brass at Fort Bragg was not about to allow Palin to publicly attack their Commander in Chief, Barack Obama by means of politically grandstanding before the troops during her book signing. Consequently, she was restricted from giving a speech, taking photos and personalizing notes in the books that she signed. Also too, just thinking aloud here, but why did the patriotic, physically fit basketball player, beauty contestant never demonstrate her unfaltering support for the military by enlisting therein?

Even more entertaining however was the fiasco known as the Noblesville, Indiana Borders Books appearance. Throngs of Palin supporters endured the chillingly cold and wet weather waiting in line for up to 9 hours to buy her book and obtain a wristband which would entitle them to meet Palin and get their book signed in person on November 19th. That of course was of no concern to Sarah Palin who simply up and quit signing (sound familiar?)  in the middle of the event and promptly boarded her luxury coach to depart for places unknown. It was of no consequence to Sarah Palin that these people paid good money for her book (which enriched the former governor), skipped work (which decreased their fortunes) and suffered for hours waiting outside in the elements. Needless to say, many of those people were outraged by Palin’s callous action and vowed to return their books and cease their support for the former vice presidential candidate. Thereafter in a feeble attempt to quell the backlash against her, Palin issued this statement via Facebook,

I’ve been told that yesterday there were supporters in Noblesville who stood in long lines for hours in the cold and rain, and the book signing event ended without a chance to say hello to everyone who showed up. I am so sorry. We are working on a solution for those who were left behind. I apologize.

The best part of the half apology is that, as usual, Palin accepts no personal blame. By saying, “I’ve been told” that the terrible thing happened, Palin implies that she personally knew nothing about it and therefore cannot be held personally responsible. Problem is, before her bus was able to leave the parking lot, it was swarmed by a mass of protesting former fans. Could Palin not see them out the windows of the bus? Could she not hear them? The answer is that she could both see and hear them and that her apology simply adds to her growing list of lies. Please watch the following clip from MSNBC‘s Countdown With Keith Olbermann for an overview of the book signing disaster:

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Please Mr. Postman song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cxSAh-LFAM

MRS. PALIN

(sung to the Beatles version of the song “Mr. Postman”)

Wait, oh yes wait a minute Mrs. Palin
Wait, wait Mrs. Palin

Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We camped out overnight here in Indy?
We’ve been waiting such a long time
We froze our asses off in line

You must have something to say
Why did you blow us off today?
Please Sarah Palin honestly,
Why did you treat us so egregiously?
We’ve been standing here waiting Mrs. Palin
So patiently
Why not some word, or even better
Will you just sign this damn book for me?

Please Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We’ve paid our SarahPAC membership fees
You left us waiting in this line
“Stick your book where the sun don’t shine!”

We won’t forget you passed us by
You can kiss our support bye-bye
You didn’t stop to make us feel better
No, you left us out in the bad weather

Sarah Palin can’t you see?
We’re gonna hang out your dirty laundry
It will hang out there on that line
You stood us up for the very last time!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Now you will see, you’re our enemy

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Mrs. Palin
We all will remember, 19th of November!!!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
(repeat to fade)

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