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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 20

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS:  You have to love MSNBC‘s Andrea Mitchell. On her television program, Andrea Mitchell Reports last week she had Republican National Committee Chairman, Michael Steele as a guest. The topic was Sarah Palin and whether she has the political acumen to run for national office. When Steele answered in the affirmative and stated that she was a “successful governor”, Mitchell stopped him in his tracks and reminded him that she quit that position halfway through her first term. Good for you, Ms. Mitchell.

THIS JUST IN:  From the “Only In Massachusetts” category we have Charlie Baker, one of two Republican candidates for governor announcing this week that he has selected an openly gay Republican running mate. You see, in the Bay State even the conservatives are liberal.

BREAKING NEWS:  The former ex-quitting CNN talk host Lou Dobbs announced on former senator Fred Thompson’s radio show last Monday that he is strongly considering running for President. Our question to Mr. Dobbs is, “President of what? Maybe the He-Man Immigrant Hating Club?” Seriously though, we really hope that he does run as a third party candidate for no other reason than to further splinter the ever dwindling Republican Party.

THIS JUST IN: Liz Cheney took a big slapdown this week. The daughter of the former Vice President and Face Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney runs a group known as “Keep America Safe.” She released a short documentary film in which she profiles a few residents of Standish, Michigan that claim that they are against any Guantanamo Bay prisoners being held in the maximum security prison in their town. Problem is, Standish city manager Michael Moran says that the community is strongly in favor of housing the detainees so as to repopulate the prison and bring jobs back to the city. He dismissed Cheney’s efforts as, “fearmongering.” Gee, anyone surprised that a Cheney might be involved in fearmongering?

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News was once again caught using a little fuzzy math this week. The Fox Chicago television station displayed a graph which shows that 193% of persons polled believe that Huckabee, Romney and Palin should be president. You read that correctly, 193%.

THIS JUST IN: Sherry Johnston, the mother of Levi Johnston (the once and future son-in-law of Sarah Palin) was sentenced to three years in prison as the result of her conviction for dealing Oxy-Contin. The sentence seems a little harsh. Couldn’t they just have arranged for Alaskan state trooper Mike Wooten (estranged brother-in-law of Sarah Palin) to tazer her?

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News‘ Greta Van Sasquatch had Karl Rove as a guest on her show this week. The topic of discussion was Sarah Palin’s book and both of them were gushing over the wonderful writing contained therein. Van Sasquatch then asked Rove how Palin should deal with crazy rumors like the ones surrounding the birth of baby Trigg. They both agreed that Palin handles such rumors in the best way possible which is to ignore them. That statement should lead everyone to doubt that either of them has even read the book that they were praising. Did neither Rove nor Van Sasquatch realize that Palin did not ignore the Trigg story but rather dedicated lengthy passages in her book to just that subject. Van Sasquatch then said that Barack Obama was lucky that he did not have to face such unwarranted rumors. Does Greta live on another planet? Does she not remember the Birthers and those others that claimed the President is a secret Muslim? Fox News and its commentators simply have no credibility.

THIS JUST IN:  It was revealed this week that Republican John Boehner’s (pronounced, “boner”) PAC spent 83 thousand dollars for his golf outings last year. I wonder how the fiscally conservative Republicans’ unemployed constituents feel about that lavish lifestyle of the rich and famous?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week the Anti Defamation League named Fox News‘ Glenn Beck as the nation’s ‘Fearmongerer In Chief.” Were there any other candidates?

Yes indeed, the reich-wing Republican world is a scary place. So scary in fact, that it inspired today’s song parody. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Sarah Palin scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Sarah Palin Contributes to G.O.P. Implosion

palin-winner-quits

With only 20% of the national electorate registered as Republicans, can the party withstand a further splintering of its membership? Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska apparently believes that it can or that a new more conservative third party can emerge to take its place. Case in point, the congressional race in New York’s 23rd District.

This upstate New York district has been solidly Republican since 1871, but times they are a changin’. The Republican nominee, Dede Scozzafava will face opposition not only from Democratic Party nominee Bill Owens, but also from Conservative Party nominee Doug Hoffman. Many conservative Republicans believe that Scozzafava is too moderate and consequently they may support the uber-right-wing Owens. Sarah Palin has joined the conservative crew and publicly endorsed the third party Owens. With regard to her decision, Palin posted on her Facebook page last Thursday as follows: “The Republican Party today has decided to choose a candidate who more than blurs the lines,” Palin wrote, “and there is no real difference between the Democrat and the Republican in this race.” Palin joins other prominent national Republicans such as Fred Thompson (he, of tv acting fame) and Dick Armey (he, of Tea-Bagging fame) in endorsing the non-Republican.

The end result of this Republican-Conservative in-fighting however, may be that the Democratic Party candidate Bill Owens benefits from the division of Republican votes. If so, for the first time in 139 years, a Democrat may represent New York’s Fightin’ 23rd. Let’s hope that such is the case.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGFlkcnZRFI&feature=related

SARAH IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS

(sung to the Beatles song “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”)

Picture yourself in a town called Wasilla
With convenience stores and endless strip malls
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A gal who’s fans cheer with cat-calls

Oil covered snowmen and Todd’s snow-machine
My God is that Uncle Jed?
Sarah’s the girl with Monkeys on her feet
Now, she’s gone

Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Ah… Ah…

Follow her down to a Bridge Off To Nowhere,
Where Sarah says, “No”, but then she still buys.
Everyone smile as she kisses Joe Sixpack,
She attracts the wackiest guys.

Newspaper headlines describe what she wore
Ebay jets take her away
SarahPAC funds all the money she’s spent
Now, she’s gone.

Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Ah… Ah…

Picture yourself sitting home on your cell-phone
Pondering all her insufferable lies
Suddenly someone “tweets” you from Ol’ Twitter
It’s Sarah and man is she fried.

Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds

Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds
Sarah in the sky with diamonds

(fading)

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