Daily Archives: November 2, 2009

Sarah Palin Says, “Twick Or Tweet”

wickedsarah-480x600

We are not sure if it is more of a trick or a treat, but comedian Rush Limbaugh’s appearance yesterday on Fox News Sunday sure was tasty. Everyone needs a hearty belly laugh after enduring all of television’s horror movie broadcasts during Halloween week and Limbaugh and Faux News did not disappoint. Here are a few of his side-splitters.

Okay, swallow your beverage before reading this. Limbaugh believes that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin is ready to be president. President of what, you might ask? Perhaps the Wasilla chapter of Mothers That Refer To Special Needs Children As Retards? Or maybe the Alaskan Council On I’ll Have To Get Back To Ya On That? No, Limbaugh believes that Palin is ready to be, wait…wait…wait…the President of the United States of America! This guy is hilarious. Somebody sign him up for a television sit-com or an HBO Special. Of Palin, he said:

I do have profound respect for Sarah Palin. There are not very many politicians who have been put through what she has been put through and [are] still able to smile and be ebullient and upbeat. This woman, I think, is pretty tough

Just wondering, but when was the last time that Miss Quittypants was ebullient and upbeat? Was it during her quitters speech when she told the press to “stop makin’ stuff up”? Or was it when she herself was “makin’ stuff up” about “death panels”? Perhaps Limbaugh was referring to her recent retort against her once and future son-in-law, Levi Johnston when she said, “Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.” Wow, Palin is even more ebullient and upbeat than Bob Dole.

Despite Limbaugh’s praise for Palin before the like-minded Fox audience, in reality Palin will never again be as close to occupying the Oval Office than she was when the nation’s voters overwhelmingly rejected her last candidacy with John McCain. Since that time, she has split the Republican Party along the conservative/moderate divide which not only hurts her chances but also those of every other Republican candidate in the near future. A vivid example of the Palin Effect can be seen in New York’s 23rd District Congressional race. The Republicans chose a candidate that was too moderate for Palin’s taste. Consequently, she loudly and quite publicly endorsed the Conservative Party candidate which caused a party split between those that are Palin minded and the more centrist Gingrich wing of the party. Ultimately, the Republican candidate withdrew from the race and endorsed the Democratic Party candidate. An absurd result and not a very positive one for Republicans.

Presently, only approximately 21% of the nation’s voters are registered Republicans and if that meager number is then split between hard-line conservatives and moderates, neither faction can be a viable political force. In retrospect, the Bush years and the Palin Effect were not kind to the Republican brand.

Today’s song parody was inspired by a comment left on our November 1st article by respected reader, Joie.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.

Witchy Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrAKiRZ9niM

WITCHY WOMAN

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Beehive hair and ruby lips
Tweets fly from her fingertips
Echoed voices from the right
Palin took a beating on election night

Wooo hooo witchy woman, casting spells and lies
Wooo hooo bitchy woman, she’s just a goon in disguise

She has them spellbound on the right
Simple fellows that are white
They love the young ones while in the womb
But they will not spend a penny so their minds can bloom

Wooo hooo witchy woman, with those blinking eyes
Wooo hooo bitchy woman, Palin is not very wise

(musical interlude)

Well she quit her job as guvnor
And now nobody loves her
She’s been sleeping in the devil’s bed

And there’s some rumors going round
Sarah’s come unbound
She hears voices in the nighttime
From inside her head

Wooo hooo witchy woman, casting spells and lies
Wooo hooo bitchy woman, she’s so easy to despise

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