Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 21

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: And now, for this weeks episode of Republican Hypocrites we have John Boehner (pronounced, boner) and Mitch McConnell. The two Republican leaders have taken a new tact in obstructing the Senate health care reform bill. They are publicly proclaiming that proposed amendments to the  bill are being negotiated by the Democratic majority “behind closed doors.” In an effort to nip that allegation in the bud, Democratic Senator Harry Reid immediately suggested that all proposed amendments to the bill be posted online for  public scrutiny. The Republican leadership of course, rejected the suggestion outright.

THIS JUST IN: The Harlem Gospel Choir has pulled a Sarah Palin and backed out of an appearance on Glenn Beck’s Christmas special at the last moment. Good for them. They were alerted to Beck’s overtly racist mindset by Color Of Change, the group which successfully orchestrated the Glenn Beck advertiser boycott. Nobody noticed the choir’s absence however, because Beck’s show was a bust. Only 17 tickets were sold in Boston and New York City. This highlights the point that Beck’s audience is a lot smaller than he thinks.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s constituents suffer from the highest percentage of home foreclosures in the state of Minnesota. Bachmann’s district had 1097 foreclosures in July, August and September 2009. Let’s hope that her homeless constituents are aware of the fact that Bachmann voted against every major piece of foreclosure-relief legislation brought before the House during her term in office.

THIS JUST IN: Former Fox News Watch host Eric Burns has some strong words regarding the Fox Network and Glenn Beck. He writes on the Huffington Post that he used to work for a “right-wing partial-news-but-mostly-opinion-network.” As for Glenn beck, he said,

I speak out now because it is the time of year when one is supposed to count blessings. I have several. Among them is that I do not have to face the ethical problem of sharing an employer with Glenn Beck.

Actually, Beck is a problem of taste as well as ethics. He laughs and cries; he pouts and giggles; he makes funny faces and grins like a cartoon character; he makes earnest faces yet insists he is a clown; he cavorts like a victim of St. Vitus’s Dance. His means of communicating are, in other words, so wide-ranging as to suggest derangement as much as versatility.

BREAKING NEWS: On Thursday, Senate Democrats voted to keep nearly $ 500 billion in Medicare cuts in their version of the health care reform bill. By a vote of 58 to 42 they rejected Republican Senator John McCain’s proposal to strip out the cuts. Isn’t it ironic that the political party that has opposed the Medicare program from its inception now portrays itself as its champion? The cuts to the program will not limit medical services to recipients nor increase co-pays and the cuts are supported by AARP.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of Foolish Republican Tricks that Backfired features Senators David “Diaper Wearing” Vitter and Tom Coburn. The two tricky Republicans filed an amendment to the health care reform bill which would require that all members of Congress enroll in the “public option.” They believed that no self respecting legislator would ever submit his own health care to such a lousy plan. Problem is, Democrats Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Barbara Mikulski and Chris Dodd have all agreed not only to enroll in the public option but also to co-sponsor the amendment with the two Republicans. Once their bluff was called, the cowardly Republicans retracted the amendment.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Blue-Dog Democrats Behaving Badly features Senator Max Baucus of Montana. Baucus is best known as the jerk who did whatever he could to prevent a public option from appearing in the Senate version of the health care reform bill. We learned this week that Baucus has also sided with the Republicans in their favorite pastime, adultery. Baucus has now admitted that he was carrying on an affair with his state office director, at the same time that he nominated her to be U.S. Attorney in Montana. He may as well just switch party affiliation at this point.

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s episode of Indefensible Republican Votes we have the 30 Republican Senators that voted against an amendment to a defense spending bill that would withhold government contracts from companies that refused to let employee rape victims bring the rape cases before courts of law. ‘Nuff said.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

Every Kind Of People song link: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Robert+Palmer/track/Every+Kinda+People

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(musical interlude)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people




Sarah Palin: The Facebook Schnook Or The Quitter On Twitter?

Immanuel Kant, a philosopher of the theory of knowledge was once quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune as having said, “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Did we ever mention that Sarah Palin has poor organizational skills?

The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska  demonstrated to us once again last Friday evening that she finds no correlation between science, life, organization and wisdom. She utilized Facebook, her second favorite means of transmitting ideas to oppose the Senate Democrats’ intention to hold a Saturday vote on whether to proceed with debate on its version of the health care reform bill. By the way, Ms. Quittypants’ first favorite means of transmitting ideas is Twitter because her ideas can usually be expressed in much less than that format’s 140 character restriction. On Facebook she said,

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is pushing for yet another weekend vote (commonplace now for the party of “transparency”) because he knows that the American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over,

Okay, where to begin? How does holding a weekend vote somehow show a lack of “transparency”? Is the vote not open and public? Is there a “cone of silence” that somehow descends upon the Capitol on Saturday? Is there a problem with trying to get a vote in before the process is delayed further by this week’s Thanksgiving recess? Has Palin ever criticized the countless times that the previous Republican majority held weekend votes?

Secondly, although nearly every single non-partisan poll shows that a majority of Americans are in favor of health care reform, Palin says that the “American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over.” Does having a Saturday vote simply upon the matter of whether or not to proceed with debate on the content of the proposed bill somehow limit the amount of time that the American people will have to consider the content of the bill? Isn’t it during the actual debate of the substantive provisions of the bill that the American people will learn more about its content? That’s all very nice dear Sarah, but please run along now while the nice senators are trying to have an adult conversation on health care reform.

Of course after having utilized Facebook, the “Alaska Disaster” could not resist the urge to tweet away. Please consider this gem of a Twitter post that she authored on Saturday, the day of the vote,

Thot I’d stick w tour news on Twitter but can’t help digress: Call senators! Tell ‘em KILL THE BILL tonite;horrible govt healthcare takeover.Senate healthcare takeover debate begins in an hour. Pls call senators if u care about another 1/6th of our economy swallowed up by Big Govt

Proof positive of the power of a University of Idaho journalism degree. Will Palin ever realize that should she choose to pursue elective office in the future, these inane tweets will come back to haunt her? Oh well, the rest of us can at least remain assured that certain time-tested scientific facts remain intact. The theory that everything that Sarah Palin touches will in turn transform itself into manure has held true once again. The Senate vote to proceed with debate on the health care reform bill of course, passed by a filibuster-proof 60 to 40 vote. Good work Sarah. You may not believe in or understand science, but time and again you prove it correct.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Say A Little Prayer For You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLCRUWCETK4

I SAY A WITCH-MASS PRAYER FOR YOU

sung to the Dionne Warwick song “I Say A Little Prayer For You ”

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a witch-mass prayer for Todd
While combing my hair now,
And choosing which specs to wear now
I’m casting out demons for God

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

I look at my new house
So glad the First Dude is my spouse
He helped a lot with Mike Wooten
We made love on state time
Except when it was headache time
Or when I would deal with Putin

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

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