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The Strange Awkward World of Mitt(wit) Romney

Is there any wonder that even most Republicans cannot identify with Mitt Romney? This child of wealth and privilege is so detached from the lifestyles of average working/middle class Americans that he appears to be some sort of strange space alien or one of those pod-hatched clones from the classic “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” film.

Remember how awkward it was when, while standing with a group of black children, he said “Who Let the Dogs Out”?

Watch back in 1994 as he was losing his U.S. Senate race against Ted Kennedy, when Romney awkwardly implies that a woman is avoiding him because she does not want to be seen while she “hasn’t got her makeup on yet”, when in fact, she does have her makeup on. (Skip to the 3:00 minute mark of the tape or just enjoy the whole awkward thing).

Haven’t had enough of Romney’s weirdness? Watch this.

But we digress. Let’s see the odd stuff Romney has been up to just this week.

You may have noticed that gasoline prices have been dropping steadily for the last few weeks. Apparently Mitt Romney is unaware of this situation. Just last month he said, “He (Obama) gets full credit or blame for what’s happened…to gasoline prices under his watch…” OK then. Romney dished out all kinds of blame while prices were rising, where’s President Obama’s credit while prices are falling? Mitt…Mitt… are you out there?

Yesterday Romney said, “I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back…My own view is that the auto companies needed to go through bankruptcy before government help, and frankly, that’s finally what the president did. He finally took them through bankruptcy.”

Umm, not so fast there Mitt. The American people are not so senile that there their memories have completely faded. Everybody remembers Romney’s now infamous 2008 op-ed in the New York Times with the headline “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”. In that column Romney argued that federal loans weren’t the answer to ailing automakers, and that companies struggling to stay afloat should enter a process that would allow them to “shed excess labor, pension and real estate costs.” Lending money to the automakers would be tantamount to destroying the industry, Romney wrote: “If General Motors, Ford and Chrysler get the bailout that their chief executives asked for yesterday, you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye.”

Guess what Mitt? The American automakers did get the bailout from Obama and the industry is now thriving. GM and Chrysler accepted federal loans amounting to $80 billion and without the large federal loan, the bankruptcy process would not have been possible since the government was the only entity with the capacity to lend such large sums. GM just announced record annual profits, and regained its position as the world’s largest automaker.

Mitt Romney is a weird awkward alien who hails from a weird awkward fantasy-land.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1oJuwkXr0E

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

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Great Scott, Elizabeth Warren Is Crushing Brown!

The Elizabeth Warren campaign received a belated Christmas present this week when her Federal Elections Committee filing revealed that she raised $5.7 million in the last quarter of 2011. Warren, the Massachusetts Democratic Party’s opponent to incumbent Republican Senator Scott Brown, is proving to be a more than formidable candidate. The support for Warren also appears to be substantially fueled by Massachusetts voters (predominantly Democrats) who are anxious to recapture Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat. Those voters consider it to have been an embarrassment when,  in 2010 Republican Scott Brown surprisingly won the special election for that seat with the help of gads of out of state Tea Party and Wall Street money.

Warren’s fourth quarter 2011 haul consisted of true grassroots support. She had 23,000 Massachusetts donors giving an average of $64.00 per person. Warren is also attracting a surprising amount of out of state money from Democrats who are aware that Brown’s (and the Republicans’) grasp on this Senate seat is quite tenuous. The $5.7 million raised by Warren easily outpaced the Brown campaign which raised $3.2 million during the same period. Warren’s campaign also walloped Brown’s in the third quarter of 2011 when she raised twice as much money as Brown. In fact, in the five months since Elizabeth Warren announced her candidacy last August, she has raised $8.8 million. In contrast, Brown has only raised $8.5 million during the entire twelve months of 2011.

Warren’s wide appeal stems from the national perception that she is a champion of the working/middle class and an opponent of the Wall Street system that caused our economy’s collapse. She was, of course, the architect of the new federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The goal of that agency is to protect consumers from unscrupulous lenders, to insure that lending documents are written in plain English and not complicated legalese and to prevent another future taxpayer-funded bank bailout by means of subjecting the nation’s largest banks to periodic stress tests. Warren recently explained the mutual commitment between her and the working/middle class when she said, “From all across our Commonwealth, people are supporting our campaign and the fight to level the playing field for middle-class families.”

In stark contrast to the consumer-friendly appeal of Elizabeth Warren, Scott Brown was named by Forbes magazine as one of “Wall Street’s Favorite Congressmen.” Brown’s appeal to the Tea Party and conservative Republicans has also been on the wane as the result of his voting alongside Democrats and against the majority of Republicans on several hotly contested bills. Scott Brown is no longer the rising star of the Republican Party which he was projected to be when he took office in 2010. This became visibly apparent when Mitt Romney declined to have Brown speak on his behalf during the New Hampshire primary campaign despite the fact that Brown was one of his earliest endorsers. Consequently, it does appear as if Brown will be capable of raising nearly as much national money as he did in 2010.

Brown has other problems also. He injected himself into the spotlight last February when he issued a press release for his yet unreleased autobiography titled “Against All Odds: My Life of Hardship, Fast Breaks, and Second Chances”. That press release revealed for the first time that Brown had been a victim of childhood sexual abuse on at least three occasions and by two different deviants. Two of those molestations occurred at a Massachusetts summer camp and the other happened at an unidentified location. By including that bit of personal red meat in the pre-publication release, there is no denying that the revelation was intended to launch sales of his book. Brown however, has steadfastly refused to identify his molester and has also refused to assist law enforcement agencies in investigating the matter. When asked by local television station WBZ, at the time of the book’s release, if he would pursue his alleged sexual abuser, Brown said, “I have more important things to do… he’s probably in his 70s today.” Massachusetts Cape and Islands District Attorney, Michael O’Keefe reports that Scott Brown told him he didn’t want to pursue the case.

By means of his investigation obstruction, Scott Brown has painted himself into a corner from which he may not be able to escape without a permanent unsightly stain on his moral character. He had every right to keep his sexual abuse a private matter but as soon as he publicized and profited from the revelation the rules changed. Brown’s criminal allegations have been made public by the release of his book and Scott Brown now has a moral obligation to reveal the identity of his abuser if, for no other reason, than to prevent this sexual predator from hurting more children. It makes no difference that the criminal is “probably in his 70s” because there are numerous examples of convicted sexual predators in that age range and sexual predators tend to repeat their crimes. Scott Brown will need more than the Tea Party to win re-election in 2012. Massachusetts Republicans and Democrats may disagree on many issues, but protecting sexual offenders is not one of them.

The most recent poll conducted in December 2011 reveals waning support which spells trouble for the Scott Brown campaign. The UMass/Boston Herald poll reveals that Brown, who is routinely referred to as “Massachusetts’ Favorite Politician” is presently trailing Elizabeth Warren by 7 percentage points. If Brown wants to win this race, he might be forced to pull out all the stops and once again pose nude as he once did in Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

And maybe you’ll see him bare
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – get right down on all fours
Scott Brown – don’t wait a minute more
Scott Brown – Larry Craig’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

Elizabeth Warren Gets Under Scott Brown’s Exposed Skin

This is what Elizabeth Warren thinks of Scott Brown's centerfold.

The race for Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat is heating up. You might recall that after Kennedy passed away in 2009, a special election to fill his seat was held in January 2010. As the result of out of state Tea Party money and some local Democratic Party apathy, Republican Scott Brown won that election. The very next day, Massachusetts Democrats vowed to re-energize themselves so as not only to recapture Kennedy’s Senate seat in 2012 but to ensure that Democrats hold on to every elected position which they control in the bluest of blue states.

As the month’s passed, Scott Brown’s popularity began to wain both nationally and in Massachusetts. The radically conservative Tea Baggers were angered at Brown as the result of his siding with Democrats on some crucial Senate votes such as on an expensive jobs bill and he has repeatedly sided with Democrats on cloture votes which served to defeat Republican filibusters of Democratic bills. He has also lost luster amongst Bay Staters because he has been legislatively insignificant (as compared to Kennedy) and because he has been seen by many as a person who is willing to enable a child molester to continue offending. In his recently released memoir, Brown admitted that he was sexually molested as child at a local summer camp, but he has refused every request from law enforcement officials to identify the criminal so that he may be apprehended.

The strengthening wave of Democratic momentum and the ebbing tide of enthusiasm for Scott Brown became most evident last November during the national midterm elections. Brown’s seat was not up for election, but most every other statewide seat was in contest. The startling result was that in an election where Republican candidates won in a landslide of national elections and captured control of the US House of Representatives, the Brown-endorsed GOP candidates lost every single statewide race in Massachusetts. This made the Democratic party even stronger in that state than it was prior to Brown’s election. Suddenly Scott Brown’s formerly iron-clad grasp on the Senate seat was showing signs of weakness. What the Democrats needed however, was a strong challenger.

Enter Elizabeth Warren. The Harvard Law School professor and architect of the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recently declared her candidacy. She brought instant momentum in the form of national support (and the out of state money which comes with that) and her high profile energized Massachusetts Democrats. In less than a month after announcing her candidacy, Warren vaulted ahead of Brown in the polls. Next, she gave an impromptu speech at the home of a local supporter which was captured by an attendee’s video camera.  Her impassioned delivery of the progressive message that government helps not only the needy but also the well to do became an instant viral YouTube hit.

Seizing upon her gaining momentum, Warren then had a little fun at last week’s Massachusetts Democratic Senate debate. She chided Scott Brown on at least two occasions. First she declared that unlike Brown, she would would not be named “Wall Street’s Favorite Senator”.

Next, when asked how she paid for her college education, Warren jokingly answered, “I didn’t take my clothes off.” This was a lighthearted jab at Scott Brown for his decision to pose nude in Cosmopolitan magazine to finance his law school tuition. Brown however, took offense. He appeared on a Boston radio station a few days later and when asked by the host what his response to Warren’s comment would be, he answered, “Thank God.” Brown then gaffed however, by saying that unlike Warren, “I didn’t go to Harvard, I went to the school of hard knocks and I did whatever I had to do to pay for school.” Problem is, Elizabeth Warren did not go to Harvard either. In fact, the schools attended by Brown (Tufts University and Boston College Law School) are both “expensive, private, liberal elitist East Coast schools” as compared to the schools (University of Houston and Rutgers School of Law) which Warren attended.

There is no question that Elizabeth Warren has gotten under the very exposed skin of Scott Brown.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

I’M DOWN (ON SCOTT BROWN)

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted somebody else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)

Whoo, baaby!

Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  yeh, whoa!!!

BREAKING NEWS: Nudist Teapublican Senator Scott Brown Was Buggered!

Scott Brown chuckles during his "60 Minutes" interview.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what inspires  people to reveal personal things. It was just over a year ago that the Tea Party claimed its first election victory at the federal level. In the special election to fill the late Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat, the Sarah Palin-endorsed Scott Brown upset the heavily favored Martha Coakley and a Republican was elected in that bluest of blue states for the first time in decades.

Brown immediately became the poster child for the defeat of the Democrats’ health care reform legislation (despite the fact that he voted in favor of the passage of the very same law while he was a Massachusetts state representative just 4 years earlier). He failed. The Democrats passed the health care reform law despite Brown’s so-called “41st vote” by means of utilizing the reconciliation procedure. Brown’s status continued to decline within conservative circles when he shunned appearing with Sarah Palin at her Boston Tea Party rally. Thereafter, he really started pissing-off the Tea Baggers when he began voting with Democrats on a job creation bill and the sweeping financial regulation package. Scott Brown’s star was fading in Republican circles.

No longer was Scott Brown one of the “go-to” guys for a Fox News soundbyte. All talk of a future Republican bid for President had ceased. The Republican Senate leadership even unceremoniously evicted him from Ted Kennedy’s cushy Capitol office space and banished him to a cubby-hole in a separate building. Jeesh, what does a former Tea Party star have to do to get some attention in the Beltway?

Let’s see. He could get involved in a sex scandal like fellow Republicans David Vitter, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Mark Foley or John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). But no, that would be too predictable and stale these days. Wait a minute, he could take the opposite approach. He could play the role of a victim of a sexual predator.

And voila! Scott Brown has just injected himself back into the public spotlight by revealing in an interview with CBS‘ “60 Minutes” that he was sexually abused at the age of 10. CNN reports today that he said,

“Fortunately, nothing was ever fully consummated so to speak. It was certainly, back then, very traumatic. “He [the perpetrator] said, ‘If you tell anybody, I’ll kill you. I’ll make sure nobody believes you,'”.That’s the biggest thing. When people find people like me at that young vulnerable age that are basically lost. The thing that they have over you is that that they make you believe no one will believe you.”

The Boston Globe reports that the perpetrator was a male camp counselor and some of the details will be provided in Brown’s autobiography which will be released on Monday. Brown said that the molestation took place on Cape Cod at a religious camp. He did not however, disclose the name of the camp in his book, or the denomination.

“I can remember how he looked, every inch of him: his long sandy, light brown hair; his long, full mustache; the beads he wore; the tie-dyed T-shirts and the cutoff jeans, which gave him the look of a hippie,” Brown writes in the book, “Against All Odds.”

The Boston Globe further reports, Brown said the abuse occurred when he went to the camp infirmary, not feeling well. The counselor followed him into the bathroom, according to Brown’s account.

“I was standing there with my pants down and he came right up next to me and asked me if I needed help, and then he reached out his hand,” Brown writes, continuing with a graphic description of the encounter.

In his book, Brown says the incident with the counselor was not the first time he faced a potential sex abuser. In an earlier episode Brown describes, when he was about 8 and living in Malden, MA, he befriended a 13-year old boy from the neighborhood. Late one winter afternoon, the friend approached Brown in the woods, threatened him with a knife, and commanded Brown to perform a sexual act, according to Brown’s account. Feeling desperate, Brown says, he hit the teenager in the face with a rock and ran away.

“To this day,” the senator writes, “I can still see the flash of that knife blade in the woods and the thirteen-year-old boy with his pants down.”

Brown claims that he had never revealed the attacks until this interview. You have to wonder if the episodes had any influence on his past nude modeling. Too bad “60 Minutes” did not enquire into that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf-wg&playnext=1&list=PL9B0677232540092C

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

Lynnrockets Says Good Riddance To 2010

I really hate to sound bitter, but I cannot wait for 2010 to be history. For Lynnrockets, this was a tough year. For those that read this blog regularly, you already know that I lost both my parents and one of my dogs this year. Add to that, the fact that like so many others I have had to endure the downturn in the economy. An additional headache was caused when a Republican won Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts because us Bay-State Democrats rested on our laurels and failed to show up at the ballot box. Then, there was the emergence of the absolutely wacky Tea Party. Honestly, I like the “founding fathers” as much as anybody but I don’t walk around dressed like George Washington to prove it. 2010 was also the year that, to my astonishment, a sizeable number of Americans started to believe that Sarah Palin is actually a credible candidate for the highest office in the land. Talk about a year in the Twilight Zone. Finally, just so that the year did not exit quietly, we had an oven fire yesterday which required the assistance of the entire fire department and for some unknown reason, the police also too. I simply cannot wait for 2011 to begin. In fact, I’m going to go out tonight and party like it’s 1999. I hope that I do not have to write tomorrow’s post from a drunk tank somewhere.

But enough of all that negativity. On the bright side I have been blessed in many ways also. I have a wonderful family and dog and I have been lucky to have all of you loyal Rocketeers checking in to see what I have to say every now and again. Life could be a lot worse.

Here’s to a happy and healthy new year for all of you. Let’s keep up the good fight!

No song parody today, just a song that I think says it all.

Sarah Palin: Likely To Quit Again

The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin may be quitting again. Palin quit her job as Governor after only half a term and she has been a no-show at many speaking engagements both before and after, including the CPAC Conference in DC.  She also recently quit the Republican National Committee after it sponsored a soiree at a lesbian/bondage strip club. Now, New York Magazine reports that the Queen of Quit may be abandoning her quest for the Presidency.

The reason? Simple. Sarah Palin cares most about money. The article suggests that she quit the governorship because “she was going broke”. She needed money and worried about it constantly. “You have to keep in mind,” Bill McAllister, her then–press secretary, told the magazine, “she and Todd were middle class. They’re rich now, but not then.” Indeed, even a John McCain adviser said, “Deep down, she wanted to make money.”

In fact, the magazine says that the single greatest influence on her quitting the governorship was that Alaska’s ethics rules might have prohibited her from profiting from a book tour or a political action committee or legal defense fund.

In March, she petitioned the Alaska attorney general’s office, which responded with a lengthy list of conditions. “There was no way she could go on a book tour while being governor” is how one member of her Alaska staff put it.

Hence, she quickly quit the governorship and quit on the people of Alaska that elected her.

Sarah Palin elected to pursue money and fame at the expense of her supporters and her stated ideals. She claims to represent the “everyman”, the “Sixpack Joes” and the “hockey moms”. Simultaneously however, she charges those very supporters exorbitant fees to see her or have a photo taken with her. Unlike the working class, she travels in Lear Jets at a cost of some $ 1,500.00 per hour and is building a new 6000 square foot manse. It is estimated that she has made some 12 million dollars since quitting last July. Indeed, Sarah Palin better resembles Richie Rich than Joe The Plumber.

The magazine article states that in 1996, a few weeks into her run for Wasilla mayor, Palin revealed to Laura Chase, her campaign manager at the time, the scope of her ambition. “We were sitting at my table one night and I said, ‘Sarah, one day you could be governor.’ She just looked at me and said, ‘I don’t want to be governor, I want to be president.’ ” Strangely, it is Sarah Palin’s quest for fame and fortune that will most likely dissuade her from seeking the presidency. Palin plans on selling another book and she continues to charge $ 100,000.00 per speaking engagement. At some point, the Tea-Baggers that idolize her will realize by witnessing her lavish lifestyle, that she is not one of them. They will recognize her as being a member of the celebrity class that they so despise. Consequently, their support for her will wane. Additionally, she has already alienated the more mainstream members of the Republican Party. New York Magazine writes,

While careful not to say anything that might make her rear her head, some in the GOP Establishment whisper that they hope Palin stays in Wasilla. She may be useful in raising funds and drawing crowds, but Palin’s unseriousness and carnival antics damage the brand. “There’s a big piece of the Republican Party that doesn’t want her to run,” said one national Republican strategist.

So, as Sarah Palin begins to amass tremendous wealth, she is losing support from her base. Palin however, loves the money and fame too much to abandon it for such a pedestrian and low paying position as the President of the United States. Sarah Palin is too selfish to ever accept the paycut. She will not run for President in 2012. In short, it’s all over now.

EXTRA

As mentioned yesterday, we had the opportunity to attend the Salem State College (Salem, MA) Speaker Series last evening featuring Ted Kennedy, Jr. as well as a private reception thereafter. Mr. Kennedy did not disappoint. As we all witnessed at his father’s funeral, young Kennedy has inherited his family’s style of oration. He spoke mostly about his work as an attorney for the disabled but he also dabbled on the subjects of health care reform and on things he learned about his family upon reading his father’s memoir, True Compass.

One such revelation from the book was his grandmother, Rose Kennedy’s involvement in the Cuban Missile Crisis. Kennedy explained that she had a fondness for obtaining books authored and personally autographed by world leaders which she would dole out at as Christmas presents each year. At the height of the missile crisis in which nuclear war threatened to wipe out civilization as we know it, the KGB intercepted a handwritten letter from a Mrs. Rose Kennedy of Hyannisport, MA in which she requested a few autographed copies of Premier Nikita Khrushchev’s most recent book. The KGB apparently could not figure out what plan the CIA was up to or what they wanted and so they inquired. When Jack Kennedy got the news, he asked his mother what she was up to. Rose simply explained that Jack should know that she gifts out autographed books from world leaders each Christmas, and this year it was Khrushchev’s turn!

Inasmuch as his speech was being delivered in Salem, MA, Kennedy felt that he should mention that on his mother’s side, he was a descendant of one Mary Eastey who in 1692 was hanged in the city (along with many others) for the crime of being a witch. He thanked the present residents for being much more kind to him.

Most importantly however, when asked about newly elected nudist Republican US Senator Scott Brown, Kennedy kindly stated that he wished him luck but that he will be judged by constituents according to how he votes. He hinted that thus far the votes were not in conformity with the views of most Massachusetts citizens but inasmuch as Brown is up for re-election in 2012, there is time for somebody to announce their candidacy in the not too distant future. When a few members of the audience shouted out, “What about you, Ted”, he politely smiled and moved on to the next subject. Kennedy clearly left the door open for a run for his father’s old seat without providing any negative comment about Brown which could prematurely be used as ammunition against him. He showed the skill of a true politician. We certainly hope he runs for that seat.

Kennedy Jr. concluded by taking a number of unscreened questions from members of the audience. He handled them deftly without resort to palm written crib notes.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Confused Scott Brown Angers Conservatives By Pursuit Of Pork

Yesterday, The Boston Globe exposed the dilemma that faces a Republican Senator in Democratic Massachusetts. Scott Brown has already been exposed on this blog for changing his position on health care reform. As a state senator, he voted in favor of Governor Mitt Romney’s Massachusetts health care reform law which is essentially a mirror image of the newly enacted national health care reform law. While campaigning for the US Senate last fall however, Brown suddenly changed his tune and vehemently opposed the national plan so as to garner conservative and Tea-Bagger support for all things anti-Obama. Luckily for the nation, Brown never had the opportunity to cast the “41st vote against health care reform”.  Now Brown faces another embarrassing flip-flop of position.

Those of you that followed Brown’s Senate race will recall that he also ran on the conservative mantra of pledging to eliminate unnecessary government spending. The Boston Globe reported yesterday however, that “Senator Scott Brown says he will fight to fund a multibillion-dollar weapons program that could generate jobs in Massachusetts but that the Pentagon insists it does not need, sparking criticism that Brown is breaking his campaign vow to rein in wasteful spending.” It added, “The Pentagon since 2006 has said that the primary engine for the F-35, built by Pratt & Whitney, in East Hartford, Conn., is sufficient, and that producing a backup model will siphon away money that could be spent on other defense priorities.” But, “the Bay State Republican’s support for General Electric’s (of Lynn, MA) bid to build a backup engine for the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter puts the new Senator in the middle of a confrontation over congressional earmarks with the Obama administration, which has threatened a presidential veto.”

Conservative spending critics say Brown is abandoning his personal pledge to battle pork barrel spending in Washington.

“This is yet another example of how ‘fiscally responsible’ lawmakers have a giant blind spot when it comes to defense spending in their districts,’’ said Laura Peterson, a senior national security analyst at Taxpayers for Common Sense, a nonpartisan budget watchdog group that monitors earmarks. “His support was clearly driven by parochial concerns rather than financial ones.’’

“If Scott Brown helps out GE he will be doing exactly the opposite of what he said he would do when he ran,’’ said Loren Thompson, a defense budget specialist at the Lexington Institute in Arlington, Va., which is supported by multiple defense firms, including Pratt & Whitney.

“We have reached a critical point in this debate where spending more money on a second engine for the [F-35] is unnecessary, wasteful, and simply diverts precious modernization funds from more pressing [military] priorities,’’ William J. Lynn, the deputy secretary of defense, told Congress in a February memo.

Scott Brown now finds himself in a true “catch 22”. If he fights to maintain the funding for the unnecessary back-up engine, he will please the generally Democratic citizens of Massachusetts by bringing jobs to the state, but he will anger fiscal conservatives that supported him as the result of his pledge to rein in government spending. If, on the other hand, he reverses his support for the engine program, the Tea-Baggers will be happy but his constituents will criticize him for depriving the state of needed jobs while his predecessor, Senator Ted Kennedy was able to sustain the program for the last six years. That inability to bring home the bacon will be remembered by Bay State voters when Brown seeks re-election in 2012.

Scott Brown is now in a pickle over pork. Kudos to The Boston Globe for bringing it to our attention.

We would also like to congratulate the Boston College men’s hockey team for defeating Miami of Ohio last night by the score of 7 to 1 and thereby advancing to the NCAA championship game. Boston College will face Wisconsin tomorrow with the national title on the line. Go, Eagles!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.


Centerfold song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNhnThb8gEw

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

His Irish Eyes Are Now Smiling

Ted Kennedy's dream has been realized with the passage of Health Care Reform

America wins! Last night’s historic passage of health care reform legislation was the largest social program to become law in the last forty years. Many of the health insurance industry’s greatest anti-consumer transgressions will now be curtailed. The pre-existing condition disqualification? Gone! The cap on benefits to premium paying consumers? Gone! The Medicare doughnut hole? Gone! Although the bill was not as comprehensive as most of us would have liked, it is nonetheless, a giant step toward  the ultimate goal of a single payer program. Furthermore, the Republicans have nothing to complain about. After all, wasn’t it their idea that health care reform legislation proceed incrementally? Well, we are now proceeding incrementally towards a public option and then single payer.

It is a bit sad that Ted Kennedy, the longtime champion of health care reform, did not live long enough to savor his victory. We can all be sure however, that wherever he may be, he is smiling and content. His dream has been realized. For those of us from Massachusetts, today is a day when we have exacted a little revenge against the Tea-Baggers and their centerfold child Scott Brown. When the Tea Party’s out of state money helped the nudist Republican capture Ted Kennedy’s vacant senate seat, he gloated that he would “not be the 60th vote for health care reform”, but “the 41st vote” against its passage. Unfortunately for Brown and the Tea-Baggers, his election galvanized the Democrats and he never even had an opportunity to cast a vote on the subject. In short, Brown had no effect and his election was a wake up call to the Democrats to fight even harder. As George W. Bush would say, “You’ve done a heck of a job, Brownie!”

The next interesting step will be the vote on the reconciliation package that will take place in the Senate this week. The reconciliation bill removes much of the pork that was included in the original Senate bill. Senate President Harry Reid has assured members of the House and the American people that he has the fifty votes (Vice President Joe Biden being the 51st) necessary to pass the reconciliation. Indeed, he can lose up to nine Democratic votes from the original bill and still succeed. The clothing challenged Scott Brown’s 41st vote will once again be of no consequence.

It should be particularly amusing to watch how the Republican senators vote on the reconciliation bill that will remove pork. If Republicans oppose reconciliation, the Democrats can campaign against them on the issue of their support for pork. If Republicans vote in favor of reconciliation so as to remove the pork, Democrats can campaign on the issue that Republicans ignored their base by means of voting in favor of health care reform. Oh, what a wicked web has been weaved! Can Tea-Baggers spell “dilemma”? Who cares? That is their problem.

Today, we can celebrate!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Good Day Sunshine song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qelpxf2cGu8

GOOD DAY HEALTH CARE

(sung to the Beatles song “Good Day Sunshine”)

Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare

It’s fun to laugh when Republicans pout
We’ve got something we can laugh about
We feel good, in a special way
Health care’s here and now we’ve had our way

Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare

Go take a walk, you nudist Scottie Brown
Obstruction has been shot right down

Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare

Palin lied, and got caught didn’t she?
Death Panels were a fallacy
It feels good to watch Beck cry and whine
Let’s watch his ratings as they decline

Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare
Good day healthcare

Sarah Palin: The Irrelevant Elephant

Palin shills for "Arctic Cat".

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off‘s Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies kicks off today. Please enjoy.

In light of the media frenzy that has surrounded Sarah Palin since her selection in September 2008 as the Republican nominee for Vice President, it is easy to forget that she was second on the ticket. Although prior to her selection she was virtually unknown to most Americans, it would be difficult now to find someone that has not heard of her (then again, many do wish that was the case). The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska has sought and found the public spotlight on numerous occasions since losing the Presidential election. Whether it was her abrupt quitting as governor complete with an incomprehensible resignation speech, feuding with David Letterman, fuming about non-existent death panels, feuding with her once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston or conducting a book-hawking bus tour by means of luxury jet, Palin has been omnipresent. As Palin increasingly becomes the visage of the Republican Party the G.O.P.’s elephant mascot has become irrelevant.

The same may also be true of Palin herself, however. Her former running-mate sees little to no positive effect of the Palin-Factor. In fact, John McCain has deemed Sarah Palin to be irrelevant. While appearing as a guest on Meet The Press last Sunday, McCain said,

“I’m entertained every time I see people attack her and attack her and attack her — she’s irrelevant but they continue to attack her.”

Ouch, we bet Sarah could feel the sting of those words all the way out in Minnesota’s Mall of America. Not exactly the type of Christmas present she was expecting from her old pal, but perhaps she should have been a bit more diplomatic when discussing McCain’s campaign staff in her ghost-written work of fiction. Sarah Palin has now learned the hard way, that what goes around, comes around.

As an aside, today is a big election day in Massachusetts. The special primary election to fill Edward M. Kennedy’s U.S. Senate seat dominates the day’s news. The Democratic Party primary consists of the following four candidates; Mike Capuano (current member U.S, House of Representatives), Martha Coakley (current Massachusetts Attorney General), Steve Pagliuca (co-owner of the NBA’s Boston Celtics) and Alan Khazei (founder of an AmeriCorps organization known as City year). Although all four candidates profess to having a progressive/liberal agenda, Lynnrocket’s Blast-Off endorses Mike Capuano because he has already put his money where his mouth is. While sitting as a U.S. Representative, he voted against both the Patriot Act and the Iraq War when few others had the courage to oppose the Bush regime.

State Senator Scott Brown will be the Republican candidate in the general election. This being Massachusetts however, he has absolutely no chance of winning the senate seat. The general election will take place on January 19, 2010. Stay tuned.

Finally, we would like to congratulate the Green Bay Packers for their victory over the Baltimore ravens last night. The Packers record has improved to 8 – 4, and they presently hold a wildcard playoff berth. is the Pack back? Let’s hope so.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune (if you live on Mars) and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Frosty The Snowman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGDi8TqqeX8&feature=related

SARAH THE SNOWGAL

(sung to the Christmas song “Frosty the Snowman”)

Sarah the snowgal was a lipsticked hockey mom
With a beehive ‘do and a “wink, wink” too
A U. of Idaho alum

Sarah the snowgal was enticed by Johnny Mack
To be his V.P., she was “mavericky”
And was liked by “Joe Sixpack”

The first mistake she made was to agree to interviews
For when she tried to speak aloud
She was just so damn confused

Oh, Sarah the snowgal couldn’t be any dumber
She’s a babbling brook, couldn’t name a book
Like her pal “Joe the Plumber”

Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
Look at her glazed stare
Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
Her head’s full of air

Sarah the snowgal was almost a pageant queen
But her parenting skill was darn near nil
So, an unwed pregnant teen

Things spiraled downward right up to election day
“Politics of Hate” and then “Troopergate”
Not to mention Tina Fey

The election did not go well, it ended in defeat
Levi’s mom was busted too
She was dealing Oxy-C

Poor Sarah the snowgal now has no-one to wink at
She will run again, but until then
She is owned by Arctic Cat

Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak.
All she does is gripe
Yakity yak yak,
Yakity yak yak,
It’s media hype

Senator Schilling? Umm, Thanks, But No Thanks

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Let me begin by saying that I am a proud member of Red Sox Nation. That being said however, I also believe that former pitcher and future Hall of Fame inductee, Kurt Schilling is a whack job of the highest order. I will forever be indebted to Mr. Schilling for all that he did on the baseball diamond. He was one of, if not the most, instrumental player in the Sox’ remarkable four game sweep of The Evil Empire (a/k/a New York Yankees) after having been down by three games. Take that, pinstripers! He then carried on his masterful pitching in the 2004 World Series sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals to bring the first championship to Boston since trading Babe Ruth in 1918. We will always remember the “bloody sock.”

Nonetheless, it is Schilling’s politics that cause me to doubt his sanity. He has decided to make Massachusetts his lifetime home despite the fact that he is a Republican. He campaigned for both George W. Bush and John McCain. OK, so he has guts. He is also delusional, however. This week he has floated the idea that he may run for the recently deceased Ted Kennedy’s senatorial seat. Dream on, Kurt. You do not have a chance at winning that election. First of all, Schilling cannot run as a Republican because he is presently registered as “unenrolled” and he has missed the deadline to re-register as a Republican. Secondly, and more importantly, however, he is likely to compete against a field of Bay State political heavyweights such as Joe Kennedy (yes, that Joe Kennedy), Marty Meehan (former member of House of Representatives and current Chancellor of the University of Massachusetts at Lowell), Martha Coakley (Massachusetts Attorney General) and potentially, Vickie Kennedy (Ted’s Widow). He simply does not have the pedigree to compete with these contenders especially if he is not a Democrat. All I can say to you, Kurt is “I knew Ted Kennedy and you’re no Ted Kennedy.” Stick to your right wing blogging.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I Get A Kick Out Of You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtwO2tKZmwQ

I GET A KICK THAT WE’RE BLUE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “I Get A Kick Out Of You”)

My state, thank God is not red, it is blue
We’re truly progressive, liberal yes it’s true
The only exception I know is the case
A few reps from the G.O.P., boy the Statehouse must be so lonely
Re-pub-licans now clearly see
They have been outpaced

I don’t care much for McCain
Giuliani doesn’t appeal to me
Jindal is without a damn clue
And Sarah Palin, “also, too”

Collins and Snowe they’re from Maine
It would be rich if they both made the switch
“Vacation-land” would be totally blue
Republicans would be so few

I get a kick every time the Grand Ole Party implodes before me
I get a kick cuz it’s clear to see, they obviously simply bore me

I don’t care much for McCain
Mike Huckabee doesn’t do much for me
Mitt Romney commands the flip-flopping crew
So I get a kick
Oh, it gives me a boot
I get a kick that we’re blue