Blog Archives

Lynnrockets’ Bad News Announcement

Shite! It is with deep sorrow that Lynnrockets must announce that his all time favorite crooner has died. Yes, Eduard Khil will not be coming down to breakfast tomorrow. The legendary performer, known as Russia’s “Voice”, has died in St. Petersburg, reports RIA Novosti. The singer was 77 and he died as the result of complications associated with a stroke.

I thought it was bad when John Lennon died and ended any speculation of a Beatles’ reunion. This is even worse. There will never be a follow-up single to “Trololo” !

In lieu of flowers, please send your generous donations to the “Bilyaletdinov School of Catchy Song and Performance”, c/o Lynnrockets, 1776 Paul Revere Warns The British Drive, Boston, MA  02101.

Huntsman Compares GOP to Chinese Communist Party

It was enlightening to learn that former GOP Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman believes that the Republican Party is like China’s authoritarian Communist party. The Daily Beast reports that “Huntsman returned to the podium to mourn the current state of his party on Sunday night at the 92nd Street Y in New York. He spoke of being disappointed when he was uninvited from a Florida fundraiser for suggesting a third-party run, saying, ‘This is what they do in China on party matters if you talk off script.’ He noted that even Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have a shot at the nomination in this climate. ”

Huntsman of course was the only sane candidate crammed into the GOP clown-car of candidates which once held the likes of Michele “The Founding Fathers Fought To End Slavery” Bachmann, Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum and Herman “Raisin'” Cain. That group of crazies was also joined on and off again by Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Now of course, only Newt “Four Wives” Gingrich, Ron “Dr. No” Paul and Mitt “Flip Flop” Romney remain.

What separated Jon Huntsman from the other GOP hopefuls was intelligence and a sense of moderation. He was the former Governor of Utah and an Eagle Scout who was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees. He also is fluent in multiple Chinese dialects. He worked in the Reagan administration as a White House staff Assistant, in the George H. W. Bush administration as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Commerce and United States Ambassador to Singapore and in the Barack Obama administration as United States Ambassador to China.

It was impossible for Huntsman to win the Republican nomination for President precisely because of those qualities. He was intelligent enough to believe in and understand math and science (and evolution as well) and moderate enough to work with Democrats. Those attributes are a death knell in today’s Tea Party ruled GOP where candidates must publicly denounce intelligence (and evolution as well) and vow to oppose every single Democratic initiative regardless of merit.

Consequently, it is refreshing to see a man who knows an awful lot about the Chinese to recognize the striking similarity of today’s Republican Party and the Chinese Communist Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Mitt(wit) Romney Hides His Tax Return Again!

Mitt Romney is continuing his flip-flopping ways.

Shortly after announcing his candidacy for President, Republican Mitt Romney declared that he would not release his tax returns for inspection by the electorate (not to mention his opponents and the media). Then, after facing criticism from his GOP opponents and the media, he flip-flopped and said that he would only release tax returns in April when he was the Republican nominee. Unfortunately for the multimillionaire Romney, last week he let it slip that he thinks he only pays a 15% effective tax rate. Inasmuch as the vast number of working/middle class wage earners pay a much higher tax percentage according to the income tax marginal brackets, the heat was turned up on Romney to release his tax returns immediately. Average Americans wanted to know if our tax system is so unfair that the wealthy benefit while the ordinary (not very wealthy) wage earner is penalized. Next it was revealed that Romney stashes tens of millions of dollars in offshore Cayman Island accounts and thereby deprives our nation of tax dollars while less affluent Americans bear the burden of paying their full share of taxes. Consequently, as a result of added pressure, Mitt Romney flip-flopped yet again and decided to release his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns.

The returns show that Mitt and Ann Romney, who are worth from $190 million to $250 million, earned $21.7 million in 2010 and paid a 13.9 percent tax rate, lower than that of a person earning $50,000. The 2011 estimates show an income of $20.9 million, with the couple paying a tax rate of 15.4 percent, closer to the estimate that Romney gave but still substantially less than most average Americans pay. The Romneys’ income came entirely from investments, mostly from capital gains, which are taxed at a lower rate than other types of income including wages. We also learned that Romney not only stashed cash in the Cayman Islands, but also in other tax-avoiding venues such as Luxembourg and in those infamous Swiss bank accounts.

During a time when millions of average hard-working Americans are still suffering from the economic meltdown of 2008 and considering the fact that income inequality between the top 1% and the other 99% has been increasing at an astronomical rate, many believe an unfair tax system deserves much blame. Mitt Romney exemplifies the top 1%, and Americans want to see if he benefits from an unfair advantage. The Huffington Post adds that “Over the course of the 2012 primary campaign Romney has made a series of gaffes that have helped create a caricature of the candidate as an aloof plutocrat. He made a flippant $10,000 bet during a televised debate. He emphatically declared to a crowd in Iowa that “corporations are people.” In a statement that has been somewhat taken out of context, Romney declared, “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.” When announcing that he had an estimated 15 percent tax rate, Romney glossed over the $374,327 he earned in speaking fees as “not very much.”

Did Romney’s release of his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns ease the nation’s suspicion of an unfair tax code which benefits the rich while punishing the less affluent? Not at all. It magnified the fact that the rich (who earn virtually all of their income by means of capital gains, dividends and private equity fees) pay a much lower percentage of those earnings in taxes than do average working/middle class Americans (who earn their income via wages) and are taxed at much higher marginal rates. Also, inasmuch as a large number of average wage earners live pay-check to pay-check and have very little excess money to invest, they are barred from taking advantage of the low capital gains and dividend rates that the wealthy enjoy. This state of affairs does not (and should not) sit well with many people.

To add insult to the tax-paying injury of average Americans, Mitt Romney’s proposed tax plan would not increase the tax burden on the super wealthy to level the playing field. Instead of raising the 15% tax on capital gains etc. which Romney and his rich friends pay, Romney’s plan would keep that tax at the present low level but reduce the capital gains tax for middle class Americans to zero. Problem is, inasmuch as most average Americans do not earn very much (if anything) by means of capital gains, they would benefit very little (if at all) from Romney’s plan while the rich would continue to have an unfair advantage. Romney’s tax plan is just smoke and mirrors.

Finally, as the tax filing deadline for 2011 came and went yesterday, we learned that Mitt Romney did not file on time. He flip flopped yet again.  Rather than file on time, he requested an extension through October 2012. What is Romney continuing to hide from the American people? It is unlikely after all, that the extension was requested because Romney’s army of accountants and financial advisers did not have the time to prepare his returns. They were able to prepare and to release the 2011 estimated returns over a month ago. It seems quite comical that the man who claims he can fix the economy cannot manage to file his taxes on time. Thank goodness Romney’s wife has never held a paying job. The extra W-2 would completely baffle Romney and his tax team!

 

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Taxman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqK97av7I3s

TAXSCAM

 (sung to The Beatles song “Taxman”)

Let me tell you
‘Bout Mitt Romney
He just pays 2
While you pay 3

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

Fifteen percent
Is much too small
Be thankful that Mitt
Pays at all

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He won’t pay a tax
To fix the street;
Don’t you know that Mitt
Is a tax cheat?
Now that truth’s been told
He’ll face some heat
But if Romney talks
He will be beat
(Tax Scam)

(tax break)

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He hides his pay out there offshore
(Ha Ha Mr. Willard runs)
Cuz Mitt don’t want to pay some more
(Ah Ha! He’s a cheat)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

How Mitt avoids tax rates too high
(Tax Scam)
Declares just pennies with his lies
(Tax Scam)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman
And we’re working for no one but he
(Tax Scam)

Rush Limbaugh Is A Recklessly Rancid Repeat Racist

Rush Limbaugh is “THE VOICE” of conservative talk radio. He has held that dubious distinction since about 1984. He has also been an ignorant outspoken racist for at least that long.

Limbaugh is not a very well educated man. He flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As evidence of his lack of commitment and self control, he has also been married four times and is an admitted drug addict. In short, Rush Limbaugh has all the qualifications one would require to influence a large and similarly dysfunctional audience of illiterates that anxiously wait for his next command. Remember “Operation Chaos”?

Rush Limbaugh is also a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown” after he claimed that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed. (BTW, McNabb is still playing professional football). Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? The examples of Limbaugh’s racism go on and on but we will leave the rest of his past offenses for another time.

For now, let’s concentrate on what he said last week. To no one’s surprise, Limbaugh accompanied a rant about how Barack Obama’s presidency is “graffiti on the walls of American history” with both a reference to Obama’s “gang” and an illustration of a “tagged” Mount Rushmore on his website.

Here are Rush Limbaugh’s exact words:

This guy is an utter wrecking ball all by himself on the world stage to the point now of getting embarrassing.  This presidency of Obama’s, it doesn’t take much to irritate the left. Try this:  “Barack Obama’s presidency is graffiti on the walls of American history.”  That’s what his administration is.  No more than graffiti on the walls of American history.  We have a juvenile delinquent for a president who has ruined so much public and private property, not even his gang is making much of an effort here to protect him.  It’s an utter disaster..

Racist enough for you?

Today’s song parody deals with Limbaugh’s drug addiction. He used to enjoy spouting off about the necessity of drug offenders receiving stiff jail sentences. That all changed, however, in 2006 when he surrendered to Palm Beach County (Florida) officials on charges of doctor shopping as the result of his own drug addiction to oxycodone and hydrocodone. He did everything within his power to avoid just such a sentence. Speaking of stiff sentences, let’s not forget that in June of 2006 he was detained by drug enforcement officials at Palm Beach International Airport when he attempted to bring a bottle of Viagra (the prescription was in somebody else’s name, by the way) into the country after his island vacation with a bunch of men.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW2By0lGDyk

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some Oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of Vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

(hallucination break)

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue Viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Yes, Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
I just love the drug store
Painkillers, Viagra and much more
It’s such a tease
All of those varieties
I’ll grab a bunch and head right out the door.

Lynnrockets Says Good Riddance To 2010

I really hate to sound bitter, but I cannot wait for 2010 to be history. For Lynnrockets, this was a tough year. For those that read this blog regularly, you already know that I lost both my parents and one of my dogs this year. Add to that, the fact that like so many others I have had to endure the downturn in the economy. An additional headache was caused when a Republican won Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts because us Bay-State Democrats rested on our laurels and failed to show up at the ballot box. Then, there was the emergence of the absolutely wacky Tea Party. Honestly, I like the “founding fathers” as much as anybody but I don’t walk around dressed like George Washington to prove it. 2010 was also the year that, to my astonishment, a sizeable number of Americans started to believe that Sarah Palin is actually a credible candidate for the highest office in the land. Talk about a year in the Twilight Zone. Finally, just so that the year did not exit quietly, we had an oven fire yesterday which required the assistance of the entire fire department and for some unknown reason, the police also too. I simply cannot wait for 2011 to begin. In fact, I’m going to go out tonight and party like it’s 1999. I hope that I do not have to write tomorrow’s post from a drunk tank somewhere.

But enough of all that negativity. On the bright side I have been blessed in many ways also. I have a wonderful family and dog and I have been lucky to have all of you loyal Rocketeers checking in to see what I have to say every now and again. Life could be a lot worse.

Here’s to a happy and healthy new year for all of you. Let’s keep up the good fight!

No song parody today, just a song that I think says it all.

Tuesday Night Music Byte

Aerosmith is an American hard rock band, sometimes referred to as “The Bad Boys from Boston” and “America’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band”. Their style, which is rooted in blues-based hard rock, has come to also incorporate elements of pop, heavy metal, and rhythm and blues, and has inspired many subsequent rock artists. The band was formed in Boston, Massachusetts in 1970. Guitarist Joe Perry and bassist Tom Hamilton, originally in a band together called the Jam Band, met up with singer Steven Tyler, drummer Joey Kramer, and guitarist Ray Tabano, and formed Aerosmith. In 1971, Tabano was replaced by Brad Whitford, and the band began developing a following in Boston.

They were signed to Columbia Records in 1972, and released a string of multi-platinum albums, beginning with their 1973 eponymous debut album. In 1975, the band broke into the mainstream with the album Toys in the Attic, and their 1976 follow-up Rocks cemented their status as hard rock superstars. By the end of the 1970s, they were among the most popular hard rock bands in the world and developed a loyal following of fans, often referred to as the “Blue Army”. However, drug addiction and internal conflict took their toll on the band, which resulted in the departures of Perry and Whitford, in 1979 and 1981 respectively. They were replaced by Jimmy Crespo and Rick Dufay. The band did not fare well between 1980 and 1984, releasing a lone album, Rock in a Hard Place, which went gold but failed to match their previous successes.

Although Perry and Whitford returned in 1984 and the band signed a new deal with Geffen Records, it was not until the band sobered up and released 1987’s Permanent Vacation that they regained the level of popularity they had experienced in the 1970s. Throughout the late 1980s and 1990s, the band scored several hits and won numerous awards for music from the multi-platinum albums Pump (1989), Get a Grip (1993), and Nine Lives (1997). Their comeback has been described as one of the most remarkable and spectacular in rock ‘n’ roll history.  After 40 years of performing, the band continues to tour and record music.

Aerosmith is the best-selling American rock band of all time, having sold more than 150 million albums worldwide, including 66.5 million albums in the United States alone. They also hold the record for the most gold and multi-platinum albums by an American group. The band has scored 21 Top 40 hits on the Billboard Hot 100, nine #1 Mainstream Rock hits, four Grammy Awards, and ten MTV Video Music Awards. They were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001, and in 2005 they were ranked #57 in Rolling Stone magazine’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.
Please enjoy this video clip of Aerosmith playing the Beatles song, “Come Together” from the 1978 film “Sgt. Pepper’s lonely Hearts Club Band”.

Wednesday Night Music Byte

Tonight’s video clip is from the Beatles. In 1995 the band released both a video and audio anthology of unreleased material. Additionally however, the three living members, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr worked in the recording studio for the first time since the band a broke up in 1970 and produced a new Beatles song. Even more impressively, they actually utilized an unreleased demo tape of John Lennon’s and mixed it with their own contributions so as to create a truly new Beatles song with all four members playing thereon.

That was not all, however. The Beatles even released a new music video for the song which is truly amazing to behold. It looks just like the videos they released in 1967 for Strawberry Fields ForeverPenny Lane. It is mesmerizing to watch the melding of video footage of the band members meandering through a fantasy world reflecting their lives and song catalog. See how many clues to their earlier songs you can find in this video and have some fun.

Sunday Night Music Byte

There was some big news for Beatles fans this week. The entire Beatles album catalog (originally released on cd in 1987) has been remastered and re-released. The sound is incredible in that you can hear instruments that were previously inaudible on the older cd’s. To date, none of the Beatles’ music is available on Itunes or any other digital format so cd is the only way to get. Buy them. They are great.

Tonight’s music byte is from Ringo Starr shortly after the Beatles’ break-up. The song is titled, “Early 1970” and is quite autobiographical. Listen closely to the first three sections of lyrics and you will realize that Ringo is describing each of his former bandmates in the order of Paul McCartney, John Lennon and George Harrison. He does a good job of revealing his relationship with each of them in just a few short lines. He ends the song by implying that he would like to play with all of them together again. Unfortunately that never happened.

Please enjoy: