Ann “The Man” Coulter Flip-Flops On Mitt “Midas” Romney

How predictable radical reich-wing conservative pundits can be. They bash a Republican candidate and then they embrace the same candidate when he is the last one standing. Case in point: Ann Coulter.

Just one year ago the uber-conservative Coulter told the CPAC crowd, “If we don’t run Chris Christie, Romney will be the nominee and we will lose.”

Coulter has now (in some sort of weird Romney-like mimic) flip-flopped. He claims that Mitt Romney has the “Midas Touch”. Yesterday while appearing as a guest on ABC’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos”, Ann Coulter proclaimed, “Romney has had a Midas touch with everything he has done”, including his job as Governor of Massachusetts. “It is not just Bain,” he continued, “it is everything he touches.”

Watch it here: http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201206100002

What a monumental flip-flop. Does this Coulter guy think that we do not have videotape of his CPAC proclamation? Of course, Coulter’s praise for Romney avoided any mention of the fact that while Governor, Massachusetts ranked 47th in the nation in job creation.  He also failed to mention that while Governor, Romney vastly increased taxes on Massachusetts’ working/middle class residents by raising nearly every fee paid by citizens for government services such as drivers licenses, auto registrations, recording of deeds and 83 others. In total, Romney’s fee increases and increased taxes exceeded $ 740 million per year.

But really, what else could we expect from a guy like Ann Coulter? Let’s watch some of the insanity this fella demonstrates (some of the language is not fit for children):

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVXmMMSo47s

COULTER

(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

(fade)

Meghan McCain Attacks Christine O’Donnell – MEOW!!!

The Teapublican Party has an honest to goodness catfight on its hands. Two of the new breed of conservative females are now at each other’s throats in what is sure to be a battle of the dummies.

Meghan McCain, the daughter of failed Republican Presidential candidate John McCain and the outspoken critic of absolutely everything under the sun, appeared on last week’s edition of ABC’s “This Week” program and blasted Christine O’Donnell, the Teapublican candidate for a Delaware U.S. Senate seat. McCain said,

“I just know, in my group of friends, it turns people off because she’s seen as a nut job. It scares me for a lot of reasons. Her candidacy sends a message to the younger generation that you can just wake up and run for Senate, regardless of past experience. Christine O’Donnell is making a mockery of running for public office. She has no real history, no real success in any kind of business.”

This is just the latest attack on the Sarah Palin endorsed “Mama Grizzly” who has had to contend with defending some of the strangest statements ever made by a candidate for public office. She has admitted that she has “dabbled in witchcraft”; had a picnic-date on a satanic alter; would have converted to the Hare Krishna religion but for a “love of meatballs”; believes the theory of “evolution is a myth” and believes that masturbation is a form of adultery.

O’Donnell also has some other problems. For instance, a complaint has been filed against her with two election commissions for allegedly using her campaign donations as a personal piggy bank from which she paid her personal rent and personal travel expenses at a time when she was not running for office. She also lied about having received a college degree before she actually received one. Furthermore, although she claims to have the solution for repairing the nation’s economic woes, she has been in debt for almost her entire adult life.

In retaliation for McCain’s clawing assault, Christine O’Donnell hissed mockingly of McCain’s “vast experience in politics and running for office”.

McCain then meowed, “I am not the one running for Senate. I am also not the only one with issues with Christine O’Donnell. I did not wake up Sunday morning expecting to create any kind of uproar and I am even more confused that people seem to be so angry.” She then added that the more information and research she did the more “worrisome” she grew about O’Donnell’s Senate bid. She finished by saying, “it is hard for me to take her candidacy seriously and I think it reflects badly on the movement.”

Meow! How will O’Donnell respond to them fightin’ words?

Then again, does it really matter? As we have said before, Christine O’Donnell has more baggage than a sinking ocean liner. Thankfully, she is trailing Democratic Party candidate Chris Coons by double digits in most all recent polls.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strange Brew song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE SHREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange brew – Tea Party drink for you

She’s a witch in trouble and without a clue
In her own mad mind, fame is overdue,
She’ll lose
Come this November Two
Strange shrew – she’ll lose November Two

She’s some kind of demon, yes we know it’s true
And her mortgage payments were way over-due,
It’s true
Student loans unpaid too
Strange shrew – they love Christine on Fox News

(masturbation break)

She’s a joke and she’s Sarah Palin’s prodigy
But she gets no love from the G.O.P.
Ignored
In fact she is abhorred
Strange brew – Tea-Bagger without a clue

Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew, Strange brew
Strange brew – Tea-Bagger without a clue

Sarah Palin Is An Ignorant, Lying Schizophrenic

The Palinistas must be apoplectic at the moment. That pesky mainstream media has finally exposed Sarah Palin as the dishonest, conniving, plain stupid, schizophrenic fool that she is. And what better program to drive the stake into the blood-sucking former ex-quitting governor of Alaska than the award winning 60 Minutes and during prime-time to boot? Ouch, that is going to leave a very visible mark!

As everyone certainly knows by now, last night’s show featured a segment during which former John McCain Campaign Manager Steve Schmidt simply eviscerated Palin. It is always entertaining to watch Republicans eat their own, but this was particularly delicious because Schmidt actually had full insider access to Palin and her multiple idiosyncrasies for the entire time that she was part of the failed presidential ticket. He witnessed her bewildering and perplexing behavior on a daily basis. Consequently, he knows that portion of Palin’s life better than any other person not related to her and possibly better than some of them also, too. The segment also included unflattering revelations about Palin from the authors of the soon to be released (and fact checked) Game Change, Mark Halperin and John Heinemann.

So, where to begin? I know, let’s start with Sarah Palin’s…

Lack Of Knowledge

Mark Halperin said that even after crash-course tutorials by campaign aides following the convention, Palin was still woefully uninformed about basic policy issues.

[S]he still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11.

Steve Schmidt added that she hurt herself in the now-infamous interview with CBS’s Katie Couric by not adequately preparing and letting herself be distracted by what the authors describe as an obsession about her political standing in Alaska.

Dishonesty

Steve Schmidt stated that Sarah Palin was dishonest as the GOP’s vice-presidential nominee and that her untruths have done long-term damage to her public image. More specifically, he said,

There were numerous instances that she said things that were – that were not accurate that ultimately, the campaign had to deal with, and that opened the door to criticism that she was being untruthful and inaccurate. And I think that is something that continues to this day.”

Schmidt then referred to an Alaskan ethics complaint filed against Palin which held that she had improperly abused her powers as governor. he said,

She went out and said, you know, ‘This report completely exonerates me,’” Schmidt said. “And in fact, it – it didn’t. You know it’s the equivalent of saying down is up and up is down. It was provably, demonstrably untrue.

Schmidt also said that Palin unsuccessfully lobbied the McCain campaign to state that her husband Todd was never a member of the Alaska Independence Party. That political party has a platform plank that calls for the State of Alaska to secede from the United States. The truth however, was that Todd was a registered member of that party for some years. That alone shines a peculiar light upon Todd and the rest of the Palin’s when they wear those “If you don’t like America…Then get the hell out” t-shirts.

Dual Personality

Perhaps the strangest of all the revelations about Sarah Palin however, was that she had two distinct personalities. Schmidt explained the two Palins as the bubbly, exuberant, self confident public person and the morose, glassy eyed, confused private person. Schmidt referred to the second personality as “the other Sarah”. Not exactly the type of level headed person fit for the office of Vice President of the United States. Indeed, Halperin and Heinemann stated that top McCain campaign officials were prepared in the event that McCain won the election, to urge him to have Palin step down. They felt that she was so ill prepared for the office that it was “terrifying and unfathomable.”

Palin’s Response

As is her usual response, Sarah Palin refused to be interviewed for the 60 Minutes program. That was to be expected however, when one considers how poorly she performs when questioned by true news outlets with unscripted questions. After all, she has never appeared on any of the serious Sunday morning talking head programs such as Meet The Press, Face The Nation or This Week.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’ve Just Seen A Face song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbKxKs8Gg5M

I’VE JUST SEEN HER FACE

(sung to the Beatles song “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

I’ve just seen her face,
I can’t forget the time or place
I’ll make a bet, she’s trolling for a fee
Palin wants all the world to see her jet
Na na na na na na

Unemployed and without pay
She lives her life the Palin way
With winking eyes and beehive hair
She’s an Alaskan “Mama Bear” alright !
Na na na na na na

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sitting on her throne
With her intelligence on loan
The G.O.P. thinks she is out of sight
Their other girls were never quite like this
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

(musical interlude)

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

I’ve just seen her face
To folks like me it’s a disgrace
And better yet, I want the world to see
There is no place for Sarah P., you bet
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Oh, falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men