Blog Archives

Welcome Back Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin/Julianne Moore

Don’t you miss those halcyon days when every morning we were treated to some new breaking story detailing the insane antics of Sarah Palin and her family? We were all entertained on a near daily basis as Palin claimed she could see Russia or that the new health care law established “death panels” or when she claimed that Paul Revere was ringing bells and firing musket shots to warn the British during his famous midnight ride. It was hilarious to watch her struggle to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads, or to name a Supreme Court decision which she disagreed with or to incorrectly explain the function of the Vice President to a 5th grader. Who will ever forget when she abruptly quit her position as Governor of Alaska after having served only half a term and then jumped right into the respectable field of reality television?

Ahhh, those were the days. Unfortunately (for us) however, Sarah Palin’s entertainment value came to a seemingly sudden halt last November when she announced that she would not seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States. Not only were we denied a year’s worth of belly-ache-inducing laughs, but the late night television talk shows and tabloid newspapers were denied a steady source of material.

But wait!… What’s this?… We have breaking Palin news!

We have just learned that Sarah Palin and her handlers have awoken from hibernation, crawled out of their holes and opened their mouths. it seems they are upset about the new HBO movie about The Queen of Quit. They claim that the film titled “Game Change”, which features  Julianne Moore as Palin, portrays the 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee in a harsh and unfair light.

The group of current and former Palin advisers – Jason Recher, Randy Scheunemann, Meg Stapleton, Andy Davis, Thomas Van Flein, Doug McMarlin and Tim Crawford – jointly railed against the film in a conference call with reporters last night. Recher said, “It’s a false portrait cobbled together by a bunch of people who simply weren’t there.” Former Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton took aim at author and film consultant Steve Schmidt (A top John McCain adviser) and said, “Steve Schmidt is proud to stretch the truth in his shoot-first style, and this time he has gone too far. He is abusive and abrasive and nothing short of a world class bully.” Randy Scheunemann said, “To call this movie fiction gives fiction a bad name.”

Those are all very damning comments about the film. Problem is, they are meritless comments. You see, CNN reports that none of them have actually seen the film and they admitted they were making their assessments based largely on the “tone” of the two-minute trailer, which at times portrays Palin as moody, arrogant and unhinged. It should also be noted that the film’s production team offered a private screening to Palin and her husband Todd – which they also declined. Sarah Palin said, “I’m really not too concerned about an HBO movie based on a false narrative when there are so many other things that we need to be talking about,” Isn’t it so Palinesque to comment upon things which one knows little to nothing about?

The film’s screenwriter Danny Strong stated in an email to CNN, “We stand by the film as being an accurate and fair portrayal of the events of the campaign. The script is also based on 25 interviews I conducted with members of the actual campaign. Secondary sources include Sarah Palin’s book ‘Going Rogue’, other books written on the campaign and innumerable newspaper and magazine articles.”

“Game Change” will be premiering on HBO on Saturday, March 10, 2012 at 9:00 PM EST. Until then, please amuse yourselves with this highlight reel of Sarah Palin’s greatest hits.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN (Version Two)

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her opinions ignored and her actions abhorred
“Hockey mom” once again is a rink rat

Her career was a blip, it was a sinking ship
Her supporters are jumpin’ and bailin’
Her character flaws became the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

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The Parallel Universe Of Sarah Palin Supporters

We thought that it might be interesting to see how Sarah Palin supporters (i.e. nutcases) reacted to the bloodbath that was Sunday night’s 60 Minutes expose´ on the failed Vice Presidential nominee. Accordingly, please find below, an assortment of comments posted on the Conservatives4Palin blog. It will not be necessary for us to provide any in depth commentary, only the occasional anecdotal note because the spelling, grammar and content of these comments are entertaining on their own. Please enjoy:

panchita
the though of schmidt and cooper staring lovingly into each others eyes is too much for me to bear.

go back to sleep panchita, its a nightmare

(Huh, ???)

palintologist
The reason for this interview isn’t the ’08 election.  It was just another plum of a chance to make Sarah look bad, since the dems HAVE to take her out as the unofficial leader of conservatives in this country (and a few others, for that matter).

So, A) Either McCain asked Schmidt to zip it and was ignored or B) McCain said nothing and Schmidt just reverted to form.  I’m going with “B.”  If McCain had any real regard for Sarah he would have demanded that this garbage stop.  And, if Schmidt had any respect for McLame, he would’ve listened.  Makes you wonder if he wants to continue in the same line of work or he knows that all potential clients feel the same way he does and his behavior is condoned.

(I never realized that Steve Schmidt was a Democrat. Who knew?)

kcnut
Steve Schmidt is a pondscum loser who should be glad sarah treated him nicely cause if i was sarah i’d show him my boot that lackey

(When did Sarah treat him nicely? Not in her fictional book.)

Sheya
Palin is rising so the LSM will do whatever it takes to bring her down. I have four words to describe this interview.

Same Shmit Different Day!

(Umm, that would be”Schmidt”)

i will be interested to see how much attention schmidt comments get at this point.  the rift between him and the governor are well known and palin covers many of this in her book-  there is no real news on palin to discuss.  i expect that we will not hear anymore on this book from Palin unless it contians some personal “revelations” about the state of the Palin marrieage or the kids that she feels  need to be corrected. certainly right now the info on Reid and the Clintons and Elzabeth Edwards are getting the most buzz.

(Love the spelling)

Uffida I enjoyed you post on the book, I wrote a bit about it on thepalination, i am not as good as most of you, but i think i got the facts in the post…as I told you last night I hit my head pretty hard there is a soft spot there now my doctor want to look at it to make sure it not a blood clot..go see about that later this afternoon.

(That soft spot might explain your incoherent comment.)

BetseyRoss
All the trials and tribulations for Sarah have been God’s Plan.  He knows it makes her stronger and us, too.

Sarah’s book debunks all of what Schmidt is saying.  She barely mentions his name.  If he was part of “Headquarters” she pretty much found a way to expose his idiocy and disingenuousness without naming him.  Judging by the way he is acting now I think she stuck in the knife and gave it a little twist.
If you recall in her book the chapter when she first meets everyone at the AZ ranch, she lets us know that she knew that she was in for a wild ride.  Since we knew the outcome she let us in on what her thought processes were.  This was totally familiar territory for her as she ecounterd the same thing in all of her dealings with polititians.  And the final nail for Schmidt and his merry band of infantiles is that she didn’t include an index.  They had to read the whole book.  Look how long it has taken them to respond, again.

(If it was “God’s plan” to have Palin chosen as the VP nominee, was it “God’s practical joke” to have her fail so miserably?)

section9
Look, CBS knows it will never, ever get Sarah Palin on 60 Minutes, so they will trash her.

By the way, who let the troll in? Nuke the bastard.

(Of course Palin will never appear on 60 Minutes. She will never appear on any true news program with unscripted questions.)

Basil
The know Sarah is a player and they must destroy her (or try) at all cost!

(Frankenstein must be destroyed!)

gardunne63
If it’s any consequence, the extended playoff game between Arizona and Green Bay probably took away many viewers from CBS’s audience.

(At least some people won’t learn the truth.)

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AND PLEA FOR HELP !!!

As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be or what state you may be from) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

Marthacoakley.com

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,

Lynnrockets


In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVekysgeLXQ&feature=related

SARAH PALIN’S CRAZY BRAIN-DEAD CLAN

(sung to the Beatles song “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”)

About twenty years ago or so,
Sarah Palin married Todd her beau
They’ve been trying to enhance her style
With rimless glasses and a great big smile
So may I introduce to you
The folks you’ve known for all these years,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
The folks that you’ve all come to know
We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
You wouldn’t want to be our foe.

Sarah Palin’s crazy, Sarah Palin’s crazy,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

There’s Bristol and there’s Levi
Good Ole Mike Wooten too
And don’t forget our pal Wayne Ross,
We’d love to take him home with us,
We’d love to take him home.

We don’t really want to end this song,
But Todd’s sister just fired up the bong
And the travel agent’s on the phone,
Seems Sarah’s flying off to Rome

So let us bid adieu, to you
And we’ll see you in about two years
We’re Sarah Palin’s Crazy Brain-Dead Clan.

Sarah Palin Is An Ignorant, Lying Schizophrenic

The Palinistas must be apoplectic at the moment. That pesky mainstream media has finally exposed Sarah Palin as the dishonest, conniving, plain stupid, schizophrenic fool that she is. And what better program to drive the stake into the blood-sucking former ex-quitting governor of Alaska than the award winning 60 Minutes and during prime-time to boot? Ouch, that is going to leave a very visible mark!

As everyone certainly knows by now, last night’s show featured a segment during which former John McCain Campaign Manager Steve Schmidt simply eviscerated Palin. It is always entertaining to watch Republicans eat their own, but this was particularly delicious because Schmidt actually had full insider access to Palin and her multiple idiosyncrasies for the entire time that she was part of the failed presidential ticket. He witnessed her bewildering and perplexing behavior on a daily basis. Consequently, he knows that portion of Palin’s life better than any other person not related to her and possibly better than some of them also, too. The segment also included unflattering revelations about Palin from the authors of the soon to be released (and fact checked) Game Change, Mark Halperin and John Heinemann.

So, where to begin? I know, let’s start with Sarah Palin’s…

Lack Of Knowledge

Mark Halperin said that even after crash-course tutorials by campaign aides following the convention, Palin was still woefully uninformed about basic policy issues.

[S]he still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11.

Steve Schmidt added that she hurt herself in the now-infamous interview with CBS’s Katie Couric by not adequately preparing and letting herself be distracted by what the authors describe as an obsession about her political standing in Alaska.

Steve Schmidt stated that Sarah Palin was dishonest as the GOP’s vice-presidential nominee and that her untruths have done long-term damage to her public image. More specifically, he said,

There were numerous instances that she said things that were – that were not accurate that ultimately, the campaign had to deal with, and that opened the door to criticism that she was being untruthful and inaccurate. And I think that is something that continues to this day.”

Schmidt then referred to an Alaskan ethics complaint filed against Palin which held that she had improperly abused her powers as governor. he said,

She went out and said, you know, ‘This report completely exonerates me,’” Schmidt said. “And in fact, it – it didn’t. You know it’s the equivalent of saying down is up and up is down. It was provably, demonstrably untrue.


Dual Personality

Perhaps the strangest of all the revelations about Sarah Palin however, was that she had two distinct personalities. Schmidt explained the two Palins as the bubbly, exuberant, self confident public person and the morose, glassy eyed, confused private person. Schmidt referred to the second personality as “the other Sarah”. Not exactly the type of level headed person fit for the office of Vice President of the United States. Indeed, Halperin and Heinemann stated that top McCain campaign officials were prepared in the event that McCain won the election, to urge him to have Palin step down. They felt that she was so ill prepared for the office that it was “terrifying and unfathomable.”

Palin’s Response

As is her usual response, Sarah Palin refused to be interviewed for the 60 Minutes program. That was to be expected however, when one considers how poorly she performs when questioned by true news outlets with unscripted questions. After all, she has never appeared on any of the serious Sunday morning talking head programs such as Meet The Press, Face The Nation or This Week.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’ve Just Seen A Face song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbKxKs8Gg5M

I’VE JUST SEEN HER FACE

(sung to the Beatles song “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

I’ve just seen her face,
I can’t forget the time or place
I’ll make a bet, she’s trolling for a fee
Palin wants all the world to see her jet
Na na na na na na

Unemployed and without pay
She lives her life the Palin way
With winking eyes and beehive hair
She’s an Alaskan “Mama Bear” alright !
Na na na na na na

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sitting on her throne
With her intelligence on loan
The G.O.P. thinks she is out of sight
Their other girls were never quite like this
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

(musical interlude)

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

I’ve just seen her face
To folks like me it’s a disgrace
And better yet, I want the world to see
There is no place for Sarah P., you bet
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Oh, falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sarah Palin: The Tea-Bag Hag

This week’s edition of “Matches Made In Heaven” features Sarah Palin and the Teabaggers. The educationally challenged former ex-quitting governor of Alaska has been selected to be the keynote speaker at the First Annual National Tea Party Convention which will be held in Nashville in February. This is too good to be true for us bloggers. As we have said before, Palin is the gift that keeps on giving, just like a case of herpes.

Would one of you loyal Rocketeers from the area please take one for the team and buy a ticket to the event? We would like nothing better than to have photos of the many misspelled and unintelligible signs, placards and t-shirts that are certain to be on display.  If we could also obtain a transcript or recording of Palin’s sure to be hilarious speech, we would be forever indebted to the brave soul that subjected himself/herself to such an assault on the senses.

The event should resemble an outtake from the film, “Night Of The Living Dead“. Imagine all the drool, head scratching and confusion as the conventioneers tackle such difficult tasks as finding the bathrooms and remembering their hotel room numbers. They will rail against socialized programs as they fight to defend their socialized Medicare benefits. They will miss work and lose wages as they fight for tax cuts for their bosses. Eventually, Palin will deliver the closing speech in which she is certain to try to explain the fiction of “death panels” and why she cannot remember Joe Biden’s name. Finally Glenn Beck will take to the stage and announce that the attendance was greater than twenty million. This is the stuff of which comedians dream.

For more on Sarah Palin’s stupidity, do not forget to watch 60 Minutes tomorrow night. John McCain campaign manager, Steve Schmidt will dissect and analyze the lying Palin’s “debacle of historic and epic proportions”. Oh boy, get out your popcorn for this one.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Magical Mystery Tour song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7pvA4EHi08

THE TRAGICAL MISERY TOUR

(sung to The Beatles song “Magical Mystery Tour”)

Roll up, roll up for the tragical misery tour. Step right this way.

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up AND THAT’S AN INVITATION, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour is eating your brain cells away
Eating your brain cells away

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, WE DON’T CARE IF YOU CAN’T READ, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, SO LONG AS YOU CAN SCREAM, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour will even pay you for the day
Even pay you for the day

(The misery trip is waiting)

Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the misery tour
Roll up, FOR INSANE CONVERSATION, roll up for the misery tour
The tragical misery tour wants insurers to keep their payday
Please help them to have their way
The tragical misery tour is hoping that you die away
After you make your co-pay, make your co-pay

Sarah Palin Faces The Truth Squad

Great comic from the Chattanooga Times Free Press

Sarah Palin’s ghostwritten memoir  officially crawls out from its dark, moldy underground tunnel and presents itself to the masses today. The work of fiction however, has already been released in advance to certain members of the media and from there its contents have leaked almost everywhere. What have we learned thus far? Well, it appears that most objective reviewers and many of those folks written about in the book believe it to be filled with much more fiction than fact.

For instance, John McCain’s former campaign manager, Steve Schmidt has labeled the book, “total fiction.” Another McCain campaign aide said, “The book fully reveals her. Dishonest, small and petty.” Ouch!!! That same aide told Politics Daily,

“It’s like, ‘What’s she so angry about?’ She was picked to be vice president of the United States. She had an exceptional opportunity. Everything is someone else’s fault. There’s no accountability. It’s mean-spirited. But if you look at the record, it is what it is.”

The Associated Press has gone so far as to publish a researched fact check of claims made by the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska and it is not flattering. Here are some excerpts,

___

PALIN: Says she made frugality a point when traveling on state business as Alaska governor, asking “only” for reasonably priced rooms and not “often” going for the “high-end, robe-and-slippers” hotels.

THE FACTS: Although travel records indicate she usually opted for less-pricey hotels while governor, Palin and daughter Bristol stayed five days and four nights at the $707.29-per-night Essex House luxury hotel (robes and slippers come standard) overlooking New York City’s Central Park for a five-hour women’s leadership conference in October 2007. With air fare, the cost to Alaska was well over $3,000. Event organizers said Palin asked if she could bring her daughter. The governor billed her state more than $20,000 for her children’s travel, including to events where they had not been invited, and in some cases later amended expense reports to specify that they had been on official business.

___

PALIN: Boasts that she ran her campaign for governor on small donations, mostly from first-time givers, and turned back large checks from big donors if her campaign perceived a conflict of interest.

THE FACTS: Of the roughly $1.3 million she raised for her primary and general election campaigns for governor, more than half came from people and political action committees giving at least $500, according to an AP analysis of her campaign finance reports. The maximum that individual donors could give was $1,000; $2,000 for a PAC.

Of the rest, about $76,000 came from Republican Party committees.

She accepted $1,000 each from a state senator and his wife in the weeks after the two Republican lawmakers’ offices were raided by the FBI as part of an investigation into a powerful Alaska oilfield services company. After AP reported those donations during the presidential campaign, she said she would give a comparative sum to charity after the general election in 2010, a date set by state election laws.

___

PALIN: Rails against taxpayer-financed bailouts, which she attributes to Obama. She recounts telling daughter Bristol that to succeed in business, “you’ll have to be brave enough to fail.”

THE FACTS: Palin is blurring the lines between Obama’s stimulus plan — a $787 billion package of tax cuts, state aid, social programs and government contracts — and the federal bailout that Republican presidential candidate John McCain voted for and President George W. Bush signed.

Palin’s views on bailouts appeared to evolve as McCain’s vice presidential running mate. In September 2008, she said “taxpayers cannot be looked to as the bailout, as the solution, to the problems on Wall Street.” A week later, she said “ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy.”

During the vice presidential debate in October, Palin praised McCain for being “instrumental in bringing folks together” to pass the $700 billion bailout. After that, she said “it is a time of crisis and government did have to step in.”

___

PALIN: Says Ronald Reagan faced an even worse recession than the one that appears to be ending now, and “showed us how to get out of one. If you want real job growth, cut capital gains taxes and slay the death tax once and for all.”

THE FACTS: The estate tax, which some call the death tax, was not repealed under Reagan and capital gains taxes are lower now than when Reagan was president.

Economists overwhelmingly say the current recession is far worse. The recession Reagan faced lasted for 16 months; this one is in its 23rd month. The recession of the early 1980s did not have a financial meltdown. Unemployment peaked at 10.8 percent, worse than the October 2009 high of 10.2 percent, but the jobless rate is still expected to climb.

___

PALIN: Criticizes an aide to her predecessor, Gov. Frank Murkowski, for a conflict of interest because the aide represented the state in negotiations over a gas pipeline and then left to work as a handsomely paid lobbyist for ExxonMobil. Palin asserts her administration ended all such arrangements, shoving a wedge in the revolving door between special interests and the state capital.

THE FACTS: Palin ignores her own “revolving door” issue in office; the leader of her own pipeline team was a former lobbyist for a subsidiary of TransCanada, the company that ended up winning the rights to build the pipeline.

___

PALIN: Writes about a city councilman in Wasilla, Alaska, who owned a garbage truck company and tried to push through an ordinance requiring residents of new subdivisions to pay for trash removal instead of taking it to the dump for free — this to illustrate conflicts of interest she stood against as a public servant.

THE FACTS: As Wasilla mayor, Palin pressed for a special zoning exception so she could sell her family’s $327,000 house, then did not keep a promise to remove a potential fire hazard on the property.

She asked the city council to loosen rules for snow machine races when she and her husband owned a snow machine store, and cast a tie-breaking vote to exempt taxes on aircraft when her father-in-law owned one. But she stepped away from the table in 1997 when the council considered a grant for the Iron Dog snow machine race in which her husband competes.

___

PALIN: Welcomes last year’s Supreme Court decision deciding punitive damages for victims of the nation’s largest oil spill tragedy, the Exxon Valdez disaster, stating it had taken 20 years to achieve victory. As governor, she says, she’d had the state argue in favor of the victims, and she says the court’s ruling went “in favor of the people.” Finally, she writes, Alaskans could recover some of their losses.

THE FACTS: That response is at odds with her reaction at the time to the ruling, which resolved the long-running case by reducing punitive damages for victims to $500 million from $2.5 billion. Environmentalists and plaintiffs’ lawyers decried the ruling as a slap at the victims and Palin herself said she was “extremely disappointed.” She said the justices had gutted a jury decision favoring higher damage awards, the Anchorage Daily News reported. “It’s tragic that so many Alaska fishermen and their families have had their lives put on hold waiting for this decision,” she said, noting many had died “while waiting for justice.”

___

PALIN: Describing her resistance to federal stimulus money, Palin describes Alaska as a practical, libertarian haven of independent Americans who don’t want “help” from government busybodies.

THE FACTS: Alaska is also one of the states most dependent on federal subsidies, receiving much more assistance from Washington than it pays in federal taxes. A study for the nonpartisan Tax Foundation found that in 2005, the state received $1.84 for every dollar it sent to Washington.

Perhaps the most biting comment of all however, was made by David Brooks on ABC‘s This Morning last Sunday. He was asked what he thought of Palin’s soon to be released book and he said, “She’s a joke. I just can’t take her seriously.” He then went on to say, “The idea that this potential talk show host is considered seriously for the Republican nomination, believe me, it will never happen. Republican primary voters are just not going to elect a talk show host.”

If the book is receiving this kind of negative criticism before its official release, how will it possibly hold up under widespread fact checking after others have had the opportunity to comb through its greasy contents? It appears evident that Palin’s autobiography is a work of fiction. If you are interested in being entertained by a more truthful account of the rise and fall of Caribou Barbie, please enjoy today’s song parody. remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her appointees ignored and her actions abhorred
She’s reduced to shilling for “Arctic Cat”

She gave Levi some lip about visiting Tripp
And Todd’s sister is facing some jailin’
But paternity laws might be the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 18

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS: Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show which airs nightly on the Comedy Central network is a more accurate news source than Fox News. Last week the writers of the comedy program discovered that Fox’s Sean Hannity had deceived viewers of his program into believing that Michele Bachman’s Tea-Bagging protest in Washington DC was attended by many thousands more people than were actually in attendance. While commenting on the massive attendance, Hannity showed video of the teeming masses to prove his point. Problem is, Jon Stewart astutely pointed out that the video was not of Bachmann’s event at all. Rather, the video was from the September 12th protest. When the deception became public Hannity was forced to apologize on air. The apology was only half-hearted however, as Hannity said the older video footage was inadvertently inserted into the story. Sure it was Sean. That sounds plausible. No go and take your medicine.

THIS JUST IN: This week Lou Dobbs quit his broadcasting position on CNN. For months Dobbs had found himself in the cross-hairs of a Latino sponsored advertiser boycott of his show. The boycott resulted from his persistent (yet false and misleading) reporting that illegal immigrants were the cause of most, if not all, of the nation’s problems ranging from unemployment to leprosy. Dobb’s on-air explanation as to why he was quitting was as confusing and uninformative as that of the other famous quitter, Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS: While still licking his wounds from the Jon Stewart smackdown, Sean Hannity invited former (dare we say, “washed-up”) movie actor/martial artist Chuck Norris on his program. When asked by Hannity if he would enter politics, Norris responded by saying that he would kill his opponents and members of Congress that he believed were dishonest. I do not think that this was the response that Hannity anticipated.

THIS JUST IN: More on the clowns at Fox News. When it was announced last week that alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed would face trial in a New York Federal District Court rather than in a military tribunal, most of the self titled Fox commentators were outraged. Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly all reported that trials in the federal court system would be too lenient and provide a stage upon which the defendant could state his beliefs. As evidence of this, O’Reilly drew attention to the four year trial of Zacarias Moussaoui. Of course he failed to mention that Moussaoui was actually convicted. Why do Fox commentators always claim that they believe in and want to protect American institutions and in the very next breath emote distrust of the cornerstone of all American institutions, the rule of law and an open court system?

BREAKING NEWS: Finally, the week would not be complete without more news from the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. Her ghost-written memoir, Going Rogue will be released for sale this week but advance copies of it have been released to the press. Needless to say, many who have seen it believe that it is chock-full of lies. The most vocal of critics thus far have been former John McCain campaign officials. One of them, Nicolle Wallace, the former White House Communications Director for George W. Bush, says that Palin’s description of the events surrounding the disastrous Katie Couric interview are completely false. Also too, McCain’s former presidential campaign manager, Steve Schmidt says that the portions of the book that describe his interactions with Palin are, “total fiction.” Ouch !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sunday Papers song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r1ub00btE&feature=related

SUNDAY PAPERS

(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin Is A Schmidt-Head

sarah-palin-solemnly-swear-vp

The Arkansas News reports that at a speech at the University of Arkansas Clinton School of Public Service, former McCain adviser and Sarah Palin critic, Steve Schmidt had some kind words for Alaska’s quitting ex-governor. Schmidt said,

I believe to this day that had she not been picked as the vice presidential candidate, we would never have been ahead — not for one second, not for one minute, not for one hour, not for one day.

Then again, when Schmidt was reminded that just a few weeks ago he said that a Palin presidential candidacy would be, “catastrophic” for Republicans in 2012, he stated that he stood by those remarks also. “I said what I said on the 2012 (race). … I said what I said today,” was his retort.

So, apparently Schmidt believes that although Palin was helpful to the McCain campaign while she was an unknown character, her light has been dimmed as the public learned more about her to the extent that her future candidacy would destroy the Republican Party. That does not sound like a vote of confidence for Caribou Barbie.

This seems like an appropriate time to re-visit those lazy-hazy days of the Palin candidacy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Gilligan’s Island theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Gilligans_Island.html

SARAH’S ISLAND

(Sung to the theme of “Gilligan’s Island”)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a strange kinship
That started with the First Dude, Todd
And ends with Baby Tripp

Wife Sarah was Alaska’s guv’nor
Her husband a drop-out
Five children with really strange names
Hillbillies there’s no doubt.    Hillbillies there’s no doubt.

The election started getting rough
Mack needed a V.P.
He focused his attention on the Great White North
His savior Sarah P.    His savior Sarah P.

She could not handle interviews her strategy was
Senile
Too “Mavericky”
“You Betcha’s” too
“Joes Sixpack and the Plumber”
“Hockey Moms”
“The Pitbull with Lipstick on”
and, a Beehive hairstyle.

So this is the tale of the Palin Clan
The campaign was reduced to dust
Bristol had a baby boy
Levi’s mom, a bust

Sarah and her husband, Todd
Returned to the family nest
She had some softball interviews
Tough issues weren’t addressed

No Charles, no Kate, no CNN
Sure no M-S-N-B-C
They all use “Gotcha Questions”
That’s not her cup of tea

So join them here each week good friends
Fox, you can stay awhile
Greta and Hasselback will be here too

Here on “Palins Isle”

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 12

coffee_or_tea_1

BREAKING NEWS:  Bat-crazy Michele Bachmann, the Republican congresswoman from Minnesota apparently thinks that any health reform legislation passed this session will provide that 13 year old children can attend sex clinics (whatever that means). Here is her quote:

The bill goes on to say what’s going to go on — comprehensive primary health services, physicals, treatment of minor acute medical conditions, referrals to follow-up for specialty care — is that abortion? Does that mean that someone’s 13 year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus that night? Mom and dad are never the wiser.

Gee, and we thought only male Republican politicians frequented sex clinics. We stand corrected.

THIS JUST IN:  You know all that crying and weeping from Fox News’ Glenn Beck as he talks about how much he loves his country. We always felt that it was phony showmanship and now it has been proved to be such. Prior to show-time, Beck simply smears a little Vicks Vapor Rub under his eyes. Watch this video clip:

BREAKING NEWS:  It is already October. Shouldn’t Fox News pundit Bill O’Reilly start dusting off his heavy artillery for the annual War Against Christmas?

THIS JUST IN:  Would somebody please throw a shoe the next time Republican John Boehner (pronounced, “boner”) stands at a podium and talks about health care reform?

BREAKING NEWS:  Florida’s freshman Democratic congressman Alan Grayson injected himself into the public discussion last week when he brazenly pointed out the uncontrovertible fact that Republicans do not want any type of health care reform and therefore condone the deaths of the uninsured. He then followed up by calling Republicans, “foot-dragging, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who think they can dictate policy to America by being stubborn.” I think that I am beginning to really like this guy? Anyone else?

THIS JUST IN:  Last week cry-baby Glenn Beck claimed that Vancouver lost one billion dollars when, “it had the Olympics.” Umm, Glenn, Vancouver will not host the Olympics until 2010. That’s OK though, don’t let the facts get in the way.

BREAKING NEWS:  A federal judge ruled last Thursday that the FBI must publicly reveal much of its interview with former Vice President Dick Cheney during the investigation into who leaked the identity of  CIA operative Valerie Plame. Is that a little trickle of sweat that I see running down Dick’s forehead?

THIS JUST IN:  Palin quits job! No, not Sarah Palin. This time it is her husband, Todd “The First Dude” Palin who this week quit his job with British Petroleum’s North Slope operation in Alaska. Looks like the happy loving couple have something in common after all.

BREAKING NEWS:  Last week, Steve Schmidt, the former campaign manager of John McCain’s failed run for president, had this to say about running mate Sarah Palin and her political future, “my honest view is that she would not be a winning candidate for the Republican Party in 2012, and in fact, were she the nominee, we could have a catastrophic election result.” No truer words were ever spoken.

THIS JUST IN: The nation’s biggest corporation, Walmart has employees that comprise the largest block of state subsidized assistance (welfare and Medicaid) in all of Ohio. Walmart continues to reap massive profits by keeping its employees on the brink of poverty and allowing taxpayers to subsidize those employees pay and healthcare. Do not allow this continue. Boycott the Republican contributing, Chinese product purchasing retailer. Boycott Walmart.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News hosts and conservative radio hosts such as Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck and Savage are celebrating the fact that America lost its bid for the 2016 Olympics. The next time you hear any of these outlets claiming to be “patriots” or “patriotic” or say that they love their country, do not let them get away with it. Shove the Olympic loss glee right down their throats and charge them with “rooting against America.”

THIS JUST IN: Controversial radio host Don Imus appeared on Fox News last week and said of Sarah Palin, “Sarah Palin? She’s a dope. Write a book? She can’t read a book.” I’m beginning to warm up to Don Imus.

Sounds like a good lead in to a Sarah Palin song parody doesn’t it?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have a lot more fun singing along with the parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still go with the flow?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July