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Nudist US Senator Scott Brown Speaks With Forked Tongue

Poor Scott Brown. The newly elected and clothing challenged US Senator from Massachusetts continues to put his foot in his mouth. Last Sunday he appeared on Face The Nation and said he plans to participate in a Republican filibuster of the financial regulatory rules as proposed by majority Democrats unless they are changed, but he has not offered any specific proposals. Then again, it is the modus operandi for the G.O.P. to demonize all things proposed by Democrats while failing to propose any specific alternatives of their own. Remember their non-existent health care reform legislation?  Moreover, it appears that Brown simply fabricated an estimate of jobs that would be lost in Massachusetts if the Democrats’ regulations were enacted.

The Boston Globe reports that Brown said that his weekend prediction on national TV Sunday that tightening Wall Street rules would kill 25,000 to 35,000 jobs in Massachusetts was “based on my speaking with industry leaders’’ in recent weeks, but he did not cite any specific analysis. A representative of Brown’s office said that Brown was given the estimate by the chief executive of MassMutual, a large insurance company headquartered in Springfield.

The Boston Globe revealed however, that,

MassMutual officials said Sunday, and again yesterday, that they did not give Brown any firm estimates of projected job losses in the Bay State. The company said it warned of unspecified job losses in the future and provided him with estimates — dramatically inflated estimates, the company acknowledged yesterday — of jobs lost thus far in the current recession. MassMutual officials said they had overcounted the losses in a way that nearly doubled the impact.

Peter Morici, a professor at the University of Maryland and former director of the Office of Economics at the US International Trade Commission was quoted as saying,

I don’t see it either creating or destroying very many jobs, certainly not in numbers that are quantifiable. I’m no fan of this legislation. I kind of like Scott Brown. But . . . I don’t know where he comes up with numbers like that.

As usual, Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) summed up Brown’s allegation quite nicely. He said,

No one has argued to us this is going to be cutting jobs as an overall in the economy. I have no idea where that figure came from. I don’t think anybody does. It may have just been spewed out by the Icelandic volcano with some of the other debris.

Pressed by The Boston Globe to describe the source of his estimate, Brown said the figure was “based on my speaking with the industry leaders over the last month or so.’’ Brown aides then cited a study by the Business Roundtable — which largely opposes the current bill — estimating that a crackdown on a financial tool called over-the-counter derivatives would cause companies to be less profitable, resulting in 100,000 to 120,000 direct and indirect job cuts nationwide. The industry group did not provide any Massachusetts-specific figures however

Brown aides then said on Sunday that the figures were provided to him by Roger W. Crandell, the chief executive of Springfield-based MassMutual, during a meeting they had on Friday.

MassMutual officials initially said they provided Brown with no such estimate. Yesterday, company officials explained that they had given Brown an estimate of how many jobs have been lost in the Massachusetts financial sector since the recession — which they told him was about 33,000 jobs — and said the current legislation could further exacerbate the problem. They did not however, provide Brown with any figure or an analysis of job loss.

Senator Brown has now demonstrated that he will simply parrot the assertions of anybody that agrees with him without first checking the veracity of the allegation or the methodology of any analysis cited. Like his Republican brethren, Scott Brown has revealed that he will utilize unsubstantiated fear as a means to oppose Democratic party initiatives. Perhaps like Sarah Palin, he too should pursue employment as a reality television show host. Maybe something called Republican Fear Factor.

The Senator wears no clothes

It appears however, that once again Brown’s vote may be as meaningless as his 41st vote against health care reform which he never had the opportunity to cast. Democrats state that it is likely that they will be able to gain bipartisan support from at least one of the following Republican Senators:Collins (ME), Snowe (ME), Corker (TN) or Shelby (AL). A vote from any one of them will prevent Brown’s threatened filibuster. If that happens, Scott Brown’s tenure to date will have been meaningless. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

.

Nude Dude, Scottie Brown

Republican Senator Scott Brown relaxes in his office.

Like Sarah Palin, newly elected Republican Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown seems to have a knack for injecting himself into every national news cycle despite the fact that he has had absolutely no effect on any policy or legislation since he took office in January. Indeed, the Tea Party’s newest poster child has only cast one Senate vote that has had any impact at all. That vote, to the dismay of conservatives, Republicans and Tea-Baggers all, was the vote he cast in favor of one of the Democratic majority’s job bills which in turn allowed Democrats to label the law as bipartisan.

“Mr. 41″ campaigned solely on the issue that he “would not be the 60th vote in favor of health care reform, but the 41st vote against it”. Unfortunately for Brown, he was outmaneuvered by the Democrats and he never had the opportunity to cast that 41st vote. This week the G.O.P. is using the clothing challenged Brown as the key person in their “Repeal and Replace” campaign against the recently enacted health care reform law. Brown’s Utopian dream is to repeal the enacted law and replace it with Republican alternatives such as cross-state insurance purchases and massive tort reform.

The “Repeal and Replace” plan is a pipe dream at best, however. In order to effectuate such a plan, the Republicans would require massive majorities in both the House and Senate so as to pass their repeal. Remember, the G.O.P. has stated publicly while obstructing progress, that the new norm is to have 60 votes to pass legislation in the Senate. That would mean that they would have to pick up 19 Senate seats in the 2010 midterm elections in order to avoid the Democratic party filibuster. They are sure to pick up seats, but not 19. Moreover, even if they managed to acquire a 60 seat Senate majority, their repeal law would surely be vetoed by President Obama. Thereafter, in order to override the veto, the Republicans would require 67 Senate votes. So G.O.P. as Tony Soprano would say, “Fagetta Bout it”.

Getting back to Scott Brown, it was interesting to note that his name surfaced on both Face The Nation and Meet The Press on Easter Sunday morn. On both shows he was touted as the new star of the Republican/Tea-Party. In each instance he was also deemed as surpassing Sarah Palin in terms of both credibility and effectiveness. Palin was denigrated by the pundits for both her lack of standing inasmuch as she holds no elective office and for a lack of seriousness resulting from her new reality show status. Indeed, Sarah Palin has morphed into exactly the type of Paris Hilton/Britney Spears no-substance, lightweight celebrity that she and John McCain once accused Barack Obama of being. The pundits all agreed however, that it would not be surprising to see Scott Brown as the next Republican nominee for Vice President. Let’s hope he is. The Democrats and bloggers would have a blast repeatedly posting the now infamous naked centerfold spread.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooq3JbWbdjk

NUDE, DUDE, SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Jim Croce song “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”)

Well its nuthin’ like Chicago
We’re talkin’ ‘bout Boston Town
And if you like men bare
You’re gonna love it there
With Senator Scottie Brown

Now Scottie’s talkin’ double
He loved the Mass. health reform law
He voted for it like the flip-flopping Guvnor
Yet now he has declared war

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Now Scottie he’s in NAMBLA
And he likes to strip his clothes
And he shows the world his private things
Most everywhere he goes
His senate seat is just a rental
Leased by the Tea Party crew
He better have some fun cuz he’s soon to be done
Massachusetts is too damn Blue

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Well Friday ‘bout a week ago
Scottie was not nice
He just shouted near and far
About all the horrors
Of health care and the price
Well he blasted dear Obama
That’s when Brown’s trouble began
Scottie Brown learned a lesson
‘Bout messin’ with the likes of a smarter man

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

You see, Scott Brown needs enlightening
He don’t give a damn ‘bout the poor
Scottie Brown’s big mouth should be muzzled
As he’s voted off of the floor

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

And he’s nude, dude Scottie Brown
The nudist man in the whole damn town
On the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Yeah, on the issues he’s wrong
He won’t be in office long

Run Sarah, Run !!!

Palin - Gump 2012

Sarah Palin is not the type to disappoint. When the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska gave up on her constiuents and walked away from her job last July, we all worried that we would lose our favorite source of entertainment and target of witty criticism. There was no need to worry however, because she announced that her memoir would soon be released and that there would be a nationwide small hamlet book tour. She delivered in true Palin fashion. The book was a non-fact checked, hilariously poorly written work of fiction and the bus tour turned into a secret private jet tour that nonetheless drew a multitude of bloodthirsty shut-ins into the light of day for all to marvel at. A freak show if you will.

In addition to the book, she also informed the world that her plans were to embark as a featured speaker on the lecture circuit. As a warm-up for this new vocation, she flew off to Hong Kong so as to address a group of investors. The reviews were not kind. Consequently, the demand for her services dwindled to the point where she was forced to accept gigs at such spectacular forums as the Bowling Convention and the Wine and Alcohol Wholesalers’ Convention. imagine the fun we will have when the transcripts of those speeches become public?

She then accepted a position as a guest host on the Fox News network. She promptly began to appear on such shows as Hannity, The O’Reilly Factor and The Glenn Beck Show. Needless to say, she fit right in with the Fox menagerie. She was at ease in the comfortable environment of friends and candidly answered such hard hitting questions as, “What is your favorite color?” and “Does it snow a lot up where you live?”. We are sure to have much more fun as she appears regularly on these programs.

Finally, this weekend she was the keynote speaker at the first Tea-Bagging Convention in Nashville. Of course other than Terrible Tom Tancredo, she was just about the only speaker at the event as the result of multiple cancellations. But Sarah Palin came through in spades. During the convention she taped a segment with Fox News in which she announced that she would consider a run for president in 2012 if the situation was right for her family and the nation. Our prayers have almost been answered. CNN reports that she said she would run,

…if I believed that that is the right thing to do for our country and for the Palin family. I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country. I won’t close the door that perhaps could be open for me in the future.

Just imagine all the side splitting laughs we will enjoy as she spars with the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty in Republican primary debates. “Please give me a moment Mr. Romney as a I consult the crib notes on my hand”! “Mr. Gingrich, do you mind if I call you ‘Cute Newt’”? The possibilities are endless. Of course she will also be required to appear on serious Sunday morning news programs such as Face The Nation and Meet The Press. We will all enjoy looking at the puzzled visages of the hosts as she tosses up one of her signature word salads. Not to mention, a long presidential run will also afford Levi Johnston the opportunity to have a book tour of his own as well as the chance to appear on even more gossip minded television shows.

RUN SARAH, RUN !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

Sarah Palin Is An Ignorant, Lying Schizophrenic

The Palinistas must be apoplectic at the moment. That pesky mainstream media has finally exposed Sarah Palin as the dishonest, conniving, plain stupid, schizophrenic fool that she is. And what better program to drive the stake into the blood-sucking former ex-quitting governor of Alaska than the award winning 60 Minutes and during prime-time to boot? Ouch, that is going to leave a very visible mark!

As everyone certainly knows by now, last night’s show featured a segment during which former John McCain Campaign Manager Steve Schmidt simply eviscerated Palin. It is always entertaining to watch Republicans eat their own, but this was particularly delicious because Schmidt actually had full insider access to Palin and her multiple idiosyncrasies for the entire time that she was part of the failed presidential ticket. He witnessed her bewildering and perplexing behavior on a daily basis. Consequently, he knows that portion of Palin’s life better than any other person not related to her and possibly better than some of them also, too. The segment also included unflattering revelations about Palin from the authors of the soon to be released (and fact checked) Game Change, Mark Halperin and John Heinemann.

So, where to begin? I know, let’s start with Sarah Palin’s…

Lack Of Knowledge

Mark Halperin said that even after crash-course tutorials by campaign aides following the convention, Palin was still woefully uninformed about basic policy issues.

[S]he still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11.

Steve Schmidt added that she hurt herself in the now-infamous interview with CBS’s Katie Couric by not adequately preparing and letting herself be distracted by what the authors describe as an obsession about her political standing in Alaska.

Steve Schmidt stated that Sarah Palin was dishonest as the GOP’s vice-presidential nominee and that her untruths have done long-term damage to her public image. More specifically, he said,

There were numerous instances that she said things that were – that were not accurate that ultimately, the campaign had to deal with, and that opened the door to criticism that she was being untruthful and inaccurate. And I think that is something that continues to this day.”

Schmidt then referred to an Alaskan ethics complaint filed against Palin which held that she had improperly abused her powers as governor. he said,

She went out and said, you know, ‘This report completely exonerates me,’” Schmidt said. “And in fact, it – it didn’t. You know it’s the equivalent of saying down is up and up is down. It was provably, demonstrably untrue.


Dual Personality

Perhaps the strangest of all the revelations about Sarah Palin however, was that she had two distinct personalities. Schmidt explained the two Palins as the bubbly, exuberant, self confident public person and the morose, glassy eyed, confused private person. Schmidt referred to the second personality as “the other Sarah”. Not exactly the type of level headed person fit for the office of Vice President of the United States. Indeed, Halperin and Heinemann stated that top McCain campaign officials were prepared in the event that McCain won the election, to urge him to have Palin step down. They felt that she was so ill prepared for the office that it was “terrifying and unfathomable.”

Palin’s Response

As is her usual response, Sarah Palin refused to be interviewed for the 60 Minutes program. That was to be expected however, when one considers how poorly she performs when questioned by true news outlets with unscripted questions. After all, she has never appeared on any of the serious Sunday morning talking head programs such as Meet The Press, Face The Nation or This Week.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’ve Just Seen A Face song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbKxKs8Gg5M

I’VE JUST SEEN HER FACE

(sung to the Beatles song “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

I’ve just seen her face,
I can’t forget the time or place
I’ll make a bet, she’s trolling for a fee
Palin wants all the world to see her jet
Na na na na na na

Unemployed and without pay
She lives her life the Palin way
With winking eyes and beehive hair
She’s an Alaskan “Mama Bear” alright !
Na na na na na na

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sitting on her throne
With her intelligence on loan
The G.O.P. thinks she is out of sight
Their other girls were never quite like this
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

(musical interlude)

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

I’ve just seen her face
To folks like me it’s a disgrace
And better yet, I want the world to see
There is no place for Sarah P., you bet
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Oh, falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

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