Monthly Archives: September 2011

Leno Gets Serious, Quizzes Bachmann And She Fails

Bachmann puts her ? in her mouth on "The Tonight Show"

Moonbat-crazy Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann appeared last night on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”. She was surprised (and perturbed) that she did not receive the usual lighthearted treatment and softball questions from the host. It made for some interesting television.

CNN summarized the interview pretty well. They report that Leno opened up the show in jovial manner. He welcomed the wacky Teapublican by saying, “We’ve done a million jokes. Hopefully, you haven’t been … watching any of them.” Thereafter however, he abruptly began some pointed questioning of the startled guest.

First, he addressed the HPV topic which had been in the news since last week’s CNN/Tea Party Republican debate. You will recall that during the debate, Bachmann accused candidate Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry of implementing a law that all Texas teenage girls receive a potentially dangerous vaccination against the sexually transmitted HPV ( a virus which can lead to cancer). She not only falsely claimed during the debate  that the vaccination was mandatory, but she also also falsely claimed in an interview immediately thereafter that the vaccination has caused “mental retardation” in at least one young girl (Just wondering, but will the mention of the word “retardation” bring a rebuke from Sarah Palin?).

Bachmann told Leno last night that the vaccination also “gives a false sense of assurance to a young woman when she hears that if she’s sexually active that she doesn’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases.” Leno disagreed. He responded, “Well, I don’t know if it gives assurance. It can prevent cervical cancer; correct?” Bachmann remained silent. Leno then questioned Bachmann’s “mental retardation” side effect claim. He pointed out that there have been no recorded cases of such side effects despite 30 million people receiving the shot. Bachmann’s clumsy response? “I wasn’t speaking as a doctor. I wasn’t speaking as a scientist. I was just relating what this woman said.” So we can now conclude that Bachmann will simply parrot as fact any unconfirmed statement that she hears while campaigning. How’s that for “truthiness”?

Leno then moved on to the subject of homosexuality and gay marriage. Bachmann has been a staunch opponent of gay marriage rights and her husband’s Christian counseling clinic has been revealed as utilizing a method known as “pray the gay away”. Leno said “That whole ‘pray the gay away’ thing, What? I don’t get that.” Bachmann held firm. She repeated that gays should not have the right to marry and she defended her husband’s clinic by saying confusingly that it does not discriminate. Leno then asked Bachmann who she might choose as a running mate if she were to win the Republican nomination. He suggested she might want someone with more moderate views. Bachmann responded by saying, “Well, you’re taken. You don’t want a cut in pay, so what can I say?” Leno’s return volley was “Well, we’d probably have an argument over that gay thing.”

Take that, Michele Bachmann and your Tea Party followers!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnluciYGFXg

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “U”, Say “B” Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Palins Are Wailin’ And Flailin’ About McGinniss Book

Just one more week before author Joe McGinniss’ long-awaited “The Rogue: Searching For The Real Sarah Palin” hits the bookstores. From what we know about the book already, it is sure to have Sarah Palin, her family and supporters in full damage-control mode. But the real damage will have already been done. McGinniss’ book and Levi Johnston’s tell-all tome (“Deer In The Headlights: My Life In Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs“) will be released the same day and they will provide the uppercut and knockout blow ending any hope of a Palin run for the U.S. Presidency.

We reported on the Johnston book yesterday, so let’s spend today’s post commenting on the Joe McGinniss book. McGinniss is the investigative journalist who infamously moved in next door to the Palins during the summer of 2010 while researching his book. In an effort to shield her family from the ever watchful eye of McGinniss, Palin constructed a ridiculously high spite fence. Not only did the fence impede McGinniss’ sight lines, but it also looked terrible and probably decreased the value of the Palin property. Palin justified the fence by alleging that McGinniss was some sort of perverted peeping tom. In a contemporaneous Facebook entry, she wrote,

Wonder what kind of material he’ll gather while overlooking Piper’s bedroom…

The fence did not prevent McGinniss from gathering his facts however, and they do not paint a pretty portrait of Sarah Palin or her family. The Los Angeles Times reports the book reveals that,

Palin snorted cocaine off an overturned 55-gallon drum during a snowmobile excursion, slept with college (and later NBA) basketball star Glen Rice when she was an unmarried 23-year-old sports reporter (McGinniss talked to Rice for the book and he confirmed the relationship) and had an affair with Brad Hanson, Todd Palin‘s business partner, apparently as payback for her husband’s infidelities.

Also,  “By November 2001,”  he writes, “… Sarah’s domestic life was in tatters.… Time with friends — not that there were many friends — would degenerate into marital squabbles, raised voices, and frequent threats of divorce. A recurring cause of conflict was Sarah’s inability or refusal to act as mother to her children.” Indeed, the LA Times column goes on to say that McGinniss suggests “that Palin’s “hockey mom” image is the most stage-managed sort of lie. “Friends recall,” McGinniss observes, “that when Todd was working on the North Slope, the children literally would have a hard time finding enough to eat. ‘Those kids had to fend for themselves,’ one says. ‘I’d walk into that kitchen and Bristol and Willow would be sitting there with a burnt pot of Kraft mac and cheese on the stove … and Sarah would be up in her bedroom with the door closed saying she didn’t want to be disturbed.’” Ouch! That is sure to leave a mark.

But McGinniss was not finished there. The LA Times says that McGinniss also writes that “when Catherine Taylor, the Palins’ next-door neighbor, squawks about their decision to cut a road across her property, “Todd told her, very plainly, that Sarah was mayor and they could do whatever they wanted, and it would be a mistake for her to try to stop them,” while a man named Dewey Taylor (no relationship to Catherine Taylor) has his truck window shot out after delivering chairs to McGinniss’ house.

The New York Times reports that McGinniss even writes of the theory that Sarah Palin may not be the mother of her youngest son, Trig. He calls into question “the circumstances under which he was born. Mr. McGinniss puts forth a provocative case for doubting Ms. Palin’s account of Trig’s birth, which involved a round trip between Alaska and Texas while she was supposedly in labor.” McGinniss then concludes by writing,

The time has come to strike the tent, no matter how much my book sales might benefit from a Palin presidential campaign in 2012, I sincerely hope that the whole extravaganza, which has been unblushingly underwritten by a mainstream media willing to gamble the nation’s future in exchange for the cheap thrill of watching a clown in high heels on a flying trapeze, is nearing the end of its run.

The Palin response to the book so far? Politico reports that “[i]n a statement to reporters, Todd Palin described the book as “disgusting lies, innuendo, and smears.”‘ The First Dude also said, “This is a man who has been relentlessly stalking my family to the point of moving in right next door to us to harass us and spy on us to satisfy his creepy obsession with my wife.”

We have not yet heard a direct response from Sarah Palin, but feel free to hold your breath. We all know from past experience that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is incapable of ignoring criticism. It will only be a matter of minutes before she posts some sort of assault on either Facebook or Twitter. She simply cannot help herself.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH3TvSxT288

PAPERBACK WRITER II

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my book?
It took me months to write while I had a look
All of those things that I could see and hear
I put them in my book and I’m gonna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Its a dirty story of a dirty clan
Led by Sarah Palin and her “First Dude” man
I learned so much by reading through their mail
They’re a seedy mob but its fun to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s a thousand pages give or take a few,
It has some photos I took from my scenic view.
I must admit the Palins never do smile
They just sulked around in plain site of this paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I loved all the fighting I could hear at night
It wafted through the fence despite its massive height.
You’ll learn all about them so please have no fear,
They will quiver and quake but I’m gonna be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Palins Await Levi Johnston Tell-All

We have been wondering for months when Levi Johnston’s tell-all tome about Sarah Palin would emerge. Until now, all we had to go on was an interview with Johnston which appeared last year in New York Magazine. At the time, Levi said he was working on a memoir that would air the true story of the Palin household. “They’re never around each other,” Johnston said of Sarah and Todd. “It’s like they hate each other but they don’t want anyone to know it. I think they were gonna get a divorce, but then they were like, ‘Let’s not prove them right.’  I’ve never seen them sleep in the same room, he’s always on this little recliner. For years, they never really talked.” He also told the magazine that he’s not surprised Palin is cashing in. “When she lost, I knew exactly what she was gonna do,” he says. “The whole time she was getting big-money offers for book and TV shows. I was like, All right, she’s gonna pick that up. It was just a matter of time before she quit. I know everything there is to know about her,” Johnston adds. “She’s so fake. But she’s so good at it, too. She’s amazing at it. If I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t know the difference.”

Then, back in April of this year, it was announced that the book would be titled “Dear In The Headlights: My Life In Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs”. Johnston’s manager Tank Johnston told Radar Online, “Levi is going to talk about everybody, including Sarah Palin, and the rest of the family”. It was reported that the book would include stories about his former fiance and mother of his child, Bristol Palin as well. It was also reported that the book will include previously unreleased photos and stories of his intimate, rocky, suddenly public life with the Palins.

Soon thereafter, Bristol Palin released her own book in which she brazenly attacked Levi Johnston. Bristol said that her virginity was “stolen” by Levi one night while she was drunk on wine coolers during a camping trip (Hmm, wonder if that’s where the name Tripp came from?). She does not use the word “rape”, so we must deduce that the tryst was consensual. Nonetheless, she goes on to write, “I could tell by the evidence in the tent that all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Those bad decisions continued however, because she then tells us that she was later surprised to learn that she was pregnant at 17 years old despite the fact that she “had been on birth control.”

Bristol Palin then described Johnston as a disloyal boyfriend who had “romps with other girls”. When confronted, he showered her with gifts, including Coach purses, Abercrombie clothing, and designer rain boots. In return, she forgave Johnston and started sleeping with him again with the hope that he would stop cheating. “It was part ‘thank you,’ part ‘security deposit,” she wrote. Bristol even went so far as to ridicule Levi Johnston’s intelligence. She pointedly made fun of his grammar and misspellings in notes to her. This is particularly humorous when you consider that it is being said by a high school drop-out who required the help of a co-writer for her memoir.

The Bristol Palin accusations are sure to have sharpened the pencil of Levi for his book which is due to be released in a week or two. Indeed, the Wall Street Journal reports that according to a copy of the book obtained by the Associated press, “Bristol’s teenage pregnancy was intentional and Sarah Palin wanted to adopt the couple’s child to “avoid scandal” but the young couple would not allow it.” Gossip Center reports that the book says that “Bristol was so angered by her mother, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s 2008 pregnancy with her Trig, that she actually convinced the Playgirl to get her pregnant as revenge a month before her mom’s due date.”

Will Levi truly go on the attack in his book and reveal some blockbuster Palin dirty laundry? Will he describe a true day-in-the-life of the Wasilla Hillbillies? Will he end, once and for all, Sarah Palin’s hopes for elected office? Let’s hope so. In the meantime, all we can do is wait for the book’s release.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART IV)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Is your head made of clay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said , “my book is gonna be a good read”

Christ you know Levi’s teasing,
His book will earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Starring in his book is “Baby T”,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“He’s stealing my fame,”
“He really has no talent at all”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

At GOP Debates, Lack Of Compassion Is The Fashion

Since Rick “Science Is For Sissies” Perry has joined the field of wacky, unqualified Republican Presidential candidates, the debates have become very entertaining. Not so much as the result of the Texan’s doubletalk and doubling-down on his radical beliefs, but rather because of the bizarre behavior of the members of the audience.

Don’t get me wrong, the seven candidates themselves are spewing plenty of venomous hate-speech and nonsensical rhetoric. These pretenders are  incapable of answering the questions asked by the moderators. They also seem to have a penchant for simply repeating ad nauseam the words “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare.” Nonetheless, it is the audience members who are  demonstrating the most disgusting behavior and revealing the ugly underbelly of the conservative movement.

For example, at last week’s MSNBC/Politico debate, a moderator asked Rick “Ponzi Scheme” Perry the following question: “…your state has executed 234 death row inmates. That’s more than any other Governor in modern times. Have you struggled to sleep at night with the idea that any one of those might have been innocent?” As soon as the moderator finished speaking the words “modern times”, the audience erupted in raucous applause. They were not cheering for Perry’s response inasmuch as he had not yet begun to elicit one. No, in fact, the audience was applauding the very fact that 234 human beings had been executed in Texas. That is correct, this audience, filled with conservative Republicans, was happy and excited that human beings were being put to death at an extremely high rate in the Lone Star State.

We then had a repeat performance of audience lack of compassion at last night’s CNN/Tea Party Express debate in Florida. The moderator posed the following hypothetical question to Ron “The Civil Rights Act Is Unconstitutional” Paul:

Moderator: “A healthy 30 year old young man has a good job, makes a good living but decides, ‘you know what? I’m not going to spend $200 or $300 a month for health insurance because I’m healthy, I don’t need it’. But something terrible happens and all of a sudden he needs it. Who is going to pay if he goes into a coma? Who pays for that?”

Ron Paul: “In a society that you accept welfarism (sic) and socialism, he expects the government to take care of him.”

Moderator: “But what do you want?”

Ron Paul: “What he should do is whatever he wants to do and accept responsibility for himself. My advice for him is to have a major medical policy…”

Moderator: “But he doesn’t have that. He doesn’t have it and he needs intensive care for 6 months. Who pays?”

Ron Paul: “That’s what freedom is all about. Taking your own risk. This whole idea that you have to prepare and take care of everybody.”

Moderator: “But Congressman, are you saying that society should just let him die?”

As soon as Paul said the words “taking your own risk”, the audience began cheering loudly.  The real disgusting development however, was when audience members began shouting “Yeah”, “Yeah” when the moderator asked if society should simply allow the hypothetical man to die.

These audience responses are revealing the honest and true feelings of the typical conservative Tea Party Republican. It is evident that they are not the Christian pro-lifers that they pretend to be. Instead, they are a selfish and heartless group of mean-spirited haters with no compassion for their fellow Americans.

The typical conservative Tea Partier Republican is not a patriotic person.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Are You Ready For Some Wacky Tea-Baggers On Display Tonight?

What a dilemma! What to watch on the boob-tube tonight? Do we tune in to watch the first Monday Night Football games of the 2011 season or do we entertain ourselves with the sure to be hilarious CNN/Tea Party Express Republican Debate?

On the one hand we have the All-American New England Patriots with their red, white and blue uniforms and helmets adorned with either Elvis wearing a tri-cornered hat or their throwback “Pat Patriot”. By name, colors and logo alone, the Patriots are certainly America’s most patriotic football team. Indeed, the original “Tea Party” actually took place in their own backyard. Yet, on the other hand, we have a series of debate questions being submitted by intellectually challenged old white men and women who are also sure to be wearing tri-cornered hats along with George Washington and Captain America costumes!

Decisions. Decisions. Both events will take place in Florida. The Patriots game is certain to feature a bunch of players huddling together before the game in prayer as well as blessings to God every time a touchdown is scored. Simultaneously, many of the GOP debaters are also likely to repeatedly praise the Lord while denying the existence of science and evolution.

The football fans at privately owned and corporately sponsored Sun Life Stadium will whine and complain about the high price of tickets, beer and concessions. The Tea-Baggers are certain to complain about the high price of gas and the government-funded program known as Medicaid.

During the football game we are likely to be entertained by clever football fans displaying witty homemade signs about their favorite players. During the debate we are likely to be entertained by not so clever Tea-Baggers displaying hilariously misspelled homemade signs which make no sense.

During the football game we will be thrilled by the amazing athletic abilities of professional athletes. During the debate we will be confused by tongue-tied double-talking Republican presidential candidates who know no words other than “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare”.

It is truly a very difficult decision as to what to watch tonight. Each of you will have to make-up your own mind. As for me, I believe that laughter cures all ills, so I will tune-in to the comedy show known as the CNN/Tea Party Express Debate. Besides, there is a second Monday Night Football game this evening featuring the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders which begins at 10:15 PM EST, long after the debate has concluded.

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

My Memory Of That Day

We awoke at about 7:00 AM as usual. I let the dogs out and thought, what a beautiful, sunny and warm early September morning here in Boston. I wondered how many more days before the autumn chill filled the early mornings. My wife headed to the shower as I boiled the kettle for morning tea. We fed the dogs (McKenzie the Dalmation and Moxie the Dal/Lab mix) and ate our breakfast of cereal and toast while sharing the Boston Globe. We were 38 and 37 years old.

My wife headed out for work at a local university as I headed to the shower. I went through my usual morning ritual of shaving etc. before heading to our bedroom to decide which suit and tie to wear. While getting dressed, I turned on the television in our bedroom. At this point I became aware.

The television showed a skyscraper with a huge cloud of smoke billowing out of its side. I thought, wow, that is an awfully big fire in that building. I began to take my mind off my suit and pay attention to what I was seeing. The newscaster said that there were reports that a small private plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center Towers. At this point I was hooked. I sat on the bed in my suit pants and t-shirt and socks and watched the television as the smoke continued to pour out of the building.

For some unknown reason I was beginning to realize that I was witnessing something very noteworthy. I telephoned a childhood friend with whom I still played hockey and who I knew worked the 2nd shift at a warehouse and would be home. I do not know why my first call was not to my wife. I guess that maybe I thought that since she had just reached her office, I would let her settle in and begin her day. I think I may have also thought that the incident, although significant, was not quite big enough news to bother her at work.

My phone call awoke my friend and I told him of the burning twin tower. I told him to turn on the television and have a look. I distinctly remember him asking what channel it was on and I told him Channel 5. It had not yet dawned on me that this was such a big story that it would be broadcast on every channel. I only knew that I was watching Channel 5.

I was filling my friend in on  what I had heard when suddenly the screen showed what I believed to be a clip of the initial collision. It was not. It was the second airliner crashing into the second tower. I remember we both exclaimed, “Holy S__t!” The newscaster then began to speak of hijacked planes, other targets and terrorism. The Pentagon was mentioned as having had sustained some sort of explosion. There was talk of potential other planes in the sky. My friend and I both decided to call our wives to let them in on the developing story and agreed to speak with each other again thereafter.

My wife and her office-mates had no idea what was taking place. As I was informing her, she told me that someone had just come into the office with the news and that they were all now going to a room with a television. I hung up the phone and dialed my friend once again. I wanted to be able to discuss the developing situation with someone. I had also decided to skip the office today and stay home (luckily I am self employed).

As we learned of the Pentagon and Pennsylvania and the potential for other hijacked planes and other targets, a feeling of apprehension or fear began to take hold. I was stunned to learn that the two planes that collided with the twin towers had apparently left Boston’s Logan Airport that morning. Things were now beginning to hit home. Did I know anyone that flew out somewhere this morning?

Shortly thereafter, the first and then second tower crumbled and fell in mere seconds before our very eyes. The iconic image of those towers in the New York skyline was erased in moments. My friend and I were stunned. After about 45 minutes to an hour, my friend and I concluded our conversation which consisted mostly of “I can’t believe its.” My phone then began ringing constantly as family and friends called, all for the same reason. I called my office and sent the employees home. I was glued to the television in our bedroom (not even taking the time to move to the larger screen in the living room) for the rest of the day. My wife came home at about lunch-time and we both continued to sit on the bed and watch for what must have been hours.

We stayed up very late into the night doing the same thing. We fervently changed channels to see if another network had any new details. I seem to recall that we did something that we never do. We went to sleep with the television left on so as not to miss anything.

The next morning the phone rang very early and my wife was instructed that there would be no work that day. I in turn, called my employees and partners and did the same. The two of us sat together for another full day watching the live coverage of what we now realized was an event on the scale of the Pearl Harbor attacks before we were born. We understood that this had become our “Where were you when John F. Kennedy was shot?” moment in time.

As the next few days passed, the names of some of the presumed victims were beginning to be released. The first one I remember was Garnet “Ace” Bailey, a former Boston Bruin from the Stanley Cup wining teams of 1970 and 1972. He was now the director of scouting for the Los Angeles Kings and was headed to that city on United Airlines Flight 175 out of Boston but which found one of the towers instead. I then learned that the best friend of one of my law partners had also been aboard that flight. Not long after, I learned that one of my college friends and our team goalie perished while working as an equity trader in the South Tower. A day or so later I learned of another classmate who was aboard American Airlines flight 11.

As the days passed and the number of victims began to increase, the magnitude of the event began to take hold. I thought that perhaps everyone I knew, either personally knew someone who died that day or knew someone who personally knew someone who perished that day. I was pretty much correct. As each day passed and I resumed my ordinary daily routine, I heard another story of somebody’s lost family member, friend or acquaintance.

As I sit here now writing this blog post, I realize that it was exactly 10 years ago today at just about this very minute that I first turned on the television.

Be well.

Bill O’Reilly’s Economic Plan: Tax The Poor!

Fox News is getting desperate to increase its percentage of brain-dead audience above its already astronomical 90% rating. If such were not the case, the Faux News station would not be falling over itself in a race to have its hosts say the most stupid things they can think of.

Case in point. On Thursday, Bill O’Reilly actually recognized that the tax structure is unfair. Say what? Bill O’Reilly realizes that the rich (oops, I mean job creators) must begin to pay their fair share of taxes in our nation’s efforts to reduce the deficit and add revenue? Umm, not so fast. Bill O’Reilly believes that the poor should start paying taxes. I’m not kidding, he mentioned that about 47% of Americans do not pay a federal income tax. Of course he failed to mention that they do not pay the tax because they have very little income and are destitute.

O’Reilly’s solution? A “consumption tax” which will force the poor to pay their “fair share” of taxes. O’Reilly said,

“The reason I want the consumption tax is because I pointed out that almost half, HALF (of) American workers don’t pay any federal income tax. With a consumption tax, everybody would chip in. That seems to be kind of fair. Pay your fair share.”

Let’s go to the film:

This “consumption” tax however would shift the tax burden to the poor and away from the rich (oops, there I’ve done it again, I mean job creators) because it is a regressive tax. Sales taxes are regressive because the poor spend almost all of their income on consumer goods and necessities while the rich (darn it, I mean job creators) save most of their income. So, O’Reilly would like to punish the poor and further contribute to the disparity of wealth in America. Some plan.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

GOP Candidates’ Sanity Is Debatable

For those of you who missed the show, here is a quick summary of the highlights of last night’s Republican Primary Debate:

Herman Cain: “9 – 9 – 9″

Rick Santorum: “Newt Gingrich is my mentor”

Newt Gingrich: “I’m frankly not interested in your efforts to get Republicans fighting each other”

Ron Paul: ““You know, the governor of Texas [Perry] criticized the governor of Massachusetts [Romney] for RomneyCare. But he wrote a really fancy letter supporting HillaryCare. So we probably ought to ask him about that.” And “The drug manufacturers and air pilots can self-regulate their own products and the skies.”

Jon Huntsman: “Listen, when you [Perry and Bachmann] make comments that fly in the face of what 98 out of 100 climate scientists have said, when you call into question the science of evolution, all I’m saying is that, in order for the Republican Party to win, we can’t run from science.”

Michele Bachmann: “Obamacare, Obamacare, Obamacare.”

Mitt Romney: “The previous Texas Governor George Bush created more jobs than you [Perry].”

Rick Perry: “The previous Massachusetts Governor Mike Dukakis created more jobs than you [Romney] and Social Security is a Ponzi scheme.”

DEBATE WINNER: JON HUNTSMAN

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Rush Limbaugh Is Now Irrelevant

Does anybody pay attention to Rush Limbaugh any longer? His appearances are as rare as the Do-Do Bird on television and in the written media. Seldom does anyone even bother to quote what he has said. Indeed, in Boston at least, his radio program no longer even airs on any of the top three talk radio stations. it would appear that Rush Limbaugh is now irrelevant.

There is good reason for this. Take for example, his latest insane rant about union leader Jimmy Hoffa’s statement that Republicans should be voted out of office in the next election. Limbaugh, took Hoffa’s quote out of context (as he always does) and suggested that Hoffa incited violence against the GOP because he used the phrase “take out these sons of bitches.” But this is what Hoffa said in its entirety:

“Everybody here has a vote. If we go back and we keep the eye on the prize. Let’s take these sons of bitches out and give America back to America where we belong.”

It is obvious that that Hoffa was not inciting violence. he qualified the “take these sons of bitches out” remark with the preceding statement that “everybody here has a vote.”  Hence, it is obvious that Hoffa is inciting the crowd to vote the GOP out of office and not to kill them.

Limbaugh however, is incapable of telling the truth. He seems to take pride in misinforming his uneducated audience so as to spread as much vile propaganda as possible. In fact, he was not satisfied with simply taking Hoffa’s statement out of context. He felt the need to also concoct a completely unsubstantiated and foolish conspiracy theory as well.

On Tuesday’s radio show Limbaugh came up with this doozy while commenting on the fact that President Obama has not bothered to address Hoffa’s comment:

“How do we know that Obama did not [suggest] it to Hoffa? He basically praised him! Obama wrote it for Hoffa! Who the hell do you think is inspiring these sons-of bitches anyway?”

Really? Limbaugh believes that “Obama wrote it for Hoffa”! Did he provide any substantiation for this assertion? Of course not, because there is none. This is simply another example of Limbaugh grasping for straws in such a manner that he looks like an idiot. This is also another reason why Limbaugh is no longer taken seriously by very many serious people.

We really should not be surprised by his ignorance. Limbaugh of course,  is not a very well educated man. He flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As evidence of his lack of commitment and self control, he has also been married four times and is an admitted drug addict.

Limbaugh is also a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown” after he claimed that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed. (BTW, McNabb is still playing professional football). Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? The examples of Limbaugh’s racism go on and on but we will leave the rest of his past offenses for another time.

Rush Limbaugh is now a modern day Lonesome Rhodes (Google it). If you can’t wait, just watch this:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the song and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(Oxy Contin Break)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby

The Ever- Revolving Door At Chez Bachmann

First of all, I hope all of you fellow Rocketeers had a happy and healthy Labor Day. As the summer begins its slow march into autumn, here’s hoping that all of you enjoy the passing of the seasons as much as I do. There is  nothing more beautiful than the fall foliage season here in New England especially when it is accompanied by the sweet smells of burning leaves, hot spiced apple cider and the clean crispness of the air. It doesn’t hurt that football returns each Saturday and Sunday either. By the way, I’ll post the roster of my fantasy football team at the end of this column.

As the seasons change, so does the staff of the Michele Bachmann campaign. That revolving door of staffers just keeps on spinning and spinning. As of July 2010, moonbat-crazy Bachmann had already had no less than five chiefs of staff quit her congressional office. By that time she had also had her finance director quit. Then in February 2011 her spokesman and a district director quit on her.

Now we have learned today that Bachmann’s  highly touted campaign manager, Ed Rollins has quit. CNN also reports that her deputy campaign manager, David Polyansky quit last weekend. Rollins went so far as to say that Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s entry into the Presidential race has dealt a serious blow to Michele Bachmann,

“Legitimately, it’s a Romney-Perry race,” Rollins said. “I think she’s the third candidate at this point in time…”

It is becoming increasingly obvious that Michele Bachmann does not “work and play well with others”. She cannot maintain a staff. Her fellow Republican Representatives of the House believe that she hurts the party by refusing to be a team member. Even her much ballyhooed Tea Party Caucus has very few members and has seldom convened for a meeting.

It would appear that even those who are closest to Michele Bachmann eventually realize that she is essentially a crazy psychotic that should not be allowed anywhere near the White House. Is that the proverbial “Fat Lady” who I can hear singing in the background?

That’s all for Bachmann, so here is my fantasy football league team lineup for 2011

PUNCH THE CLOWN

QB:  Aaron Rodgers

QB:  Donovan McNabb

RB:  Maurice Jones-Drew

RB:  Peyton Hillis

RB:  Ahmad Bradshaw

RB:  Pierre Thomas

RB:  James Starks

WR:  Jeremy Maclin

WR:  Danny Amendola

WR:  Donald Driver

WR:  Sidney Rice

WR:  Lance Moore

TE:  Kellen Winslow, Jr.

TE:  Chris Cooley

K:   Matt Bryant

K:   Billy Cundiff

Def:  Giants

Def:  Cardinals

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

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