Daily Archives: September 29, 2011

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:



(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be