Conservative Pundits Assail GOP Candidates (and Levi Shuffles)

The BusinessInsider.com has posted a nice little summary of what conservative pundits and the Republican intelligentsia (for what that is worth) think of the current cast of characters vying for the 2012 GOP Presidential nomination. It is not pretty.

Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer and Weekly Standard editor William Kristol are both looking for another candidate to enter the race because they believe that none of the current crop including Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry or Mitt Romney stand a chance of defeating Barack Obama. Krauthammer and Kristol waned either Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels or Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan to run. However, each of those men has publicly stated that they do not intend to seek the nomination. They join Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie as other favorites of the conservative elite who have decided to remain on the sidelines.

Ramesh Ponnuru, the senior editor of the National Review says, “It becomes a Perry vs. Romney race. A lot of conservatives are going to find that unsatisfactory. You’ll probably have more people staying neutral than ever.”

But Politico‘s Jonathan Martin and Ben Smith have put it best. They frankly state that “To many conservative elites, Rick Perry is a dope, Michele Bachmann is a joke, and Mitt Romney is a fraud.”

Well said gentlemen. Well said.

Another political bombshell was dropped this week in Alaska. No, Sarah Palin has not stopped her spotlight-seeking game of dithering over her own intentions to seek the Presidency. But someone very closely tied to her has made an announcement about his political plans. Levi Johnston, the father of Palin’s grandson as well as her once and future son-in-law, has proclaimed that he is ending his candidacy for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. You could say that the former two-time fiance and virginity thief of daughter Bristol Palin is “pulling out” for the first time. His manager Tank Jones told Radar Online,
“He isn’t running. Levi doesn’t want the office of the Mayor to be a joke so he’s not going to do it now. He’s not going to run right now because there are a lot of issues he would need to study up on, and he thinks that this isn’t the right time for him. He is focusing on his book that is coming out September 20.”
If you simply cannot wait that long for Levi’s book and need an immediate Johnston fix, simply buy this month’s issue of Playboy. No, Levi has not posed nude once again like Massachusetts’ Republican Sen. Scott Brown. This time it is his sister Mercede Johnston that has elected to bare her soul amongst other things in the adult periodical.

What in the wide, wide world of politics will we be exposed to next?

We just love it when we get to blow off the dust and bring out one of our old song parody chestnuts once again.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lido Shuffle song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s8l75Oxf1U&feature=related

LEVI SHUFFLE

(sung to the Boz Scaggs song “Lido Shuffle”)

Levi missed the vote
That day he caught some flack
Sarah was so damned pissed
But she was just a hack

At a Juneau bar
Drinkin’ from a jar, he heard a pop
She had enough
Good Ol’ Sarah fired a shot

He ran downtown, Sarah had an angry frown, an a-hole
He said, “One more jab oughta get her”
“Since she quit, things are better”
“Now hit the road !”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
Was Bristol’s honey, now he’s her foe
Levi’s fixin’ to make some dough

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
He took one more stab at poor Sarah
“What’s with all that mascara?”
Now she’ll hit the road

Levi’s a dumb one
Havin’ great big fun rockin’ Palin’s boat
Dishin’ out all those low blows
For her, he will not vote

Palin’s flying ‘neath the tree-line
Levi in her sight line, goin’ for broke
Sayin’ “One good shot oughta do it”
“Take this bullet and chew it”
“I’ll just lock and load!”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Palin should just forget it
But she just doesn’t get it
One mean horny toad!

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau
Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

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Posted on August 24, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. No-Fly Zone

    God has already entered three candidates into the race (not counting Romney) so why all the whining? Isn’t the heretical Kristol always wrong? And who the hell is Ramesh Ponnuru?

    Would it save a lot of time and trouble is the Koch brothers just went ahead and ran themselves?

  2. Boom-Baba-Boom

    Speaking of Mercede……the fine folks at Playboy did a nice job with her “make-over” because she really is quite lovely.

  3. Make up, lighting and a photographer who knows how to shoot will always make someone look better. Then there’s always photo shopping….$P always looks better photo shopped!

  4. I see people in the entertainment industry at the grocery store, etc., all the time. They look like the rest of us. I saw models, actors, etc all the time when I lived in NYC. They had red puffy eyes, bad skin, etc., just like the rest of us. And then there was that one drop-dead gorgeous guy who wasn’t gay….See, I have fantasies, too.

  5. Of course, the drop dead gorgeous guy who IS gay cuts my hair, and I love him like he’s my older brother. And I have attended all of his one-man shows/plays.

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