Daily Archives: August 22, 2011

Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Believes Palin Will Run

Turd Blossom and Caribou Barbie

The former top political adviser (for whatever that is worth) to President George W. Bush believes that Sarah Palin will soon announce that she is running for president. Karl Rove, more commonly known as Turd Blossom, is now the leader of a conservative political action committee known as American Crossroads and he feels that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run.

Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”,  a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said,

“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”

Palin of course has been incapable of making a decision as to whether she should join the “Koch Bros., Crackpots and Unknowns Presidential Circus” for at least the last four years. The former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has however, recently paraded her faux family vacation shrink-wrapped luxury dream-liner through many early primary states and she attended the Iowa State Fair on the same weekend as the Ames Straw Poll. She has also authorized the creation and release of “The Undefeated”, an abysmal failure of a theatrical release about her rise to political incompetence. Most recently, her political action committee SarahPAC even released a video of her Iowa appearances and she plans to return to Iowa on September 3rd. Still, she has refused to answer questions about her presidential plans as stubbornly as she refused to answer any and all questions during debates and televised interviews in 2008 while running for Vice President.

Who knows what kind of faith can be placed in Karl Rove’s prediction, however? After all, he is the same guy who completely misinterpreted the big bank bailout and formation of the Tea Party as follows:

“Remember the Tea Party movement didn’t get started in September of 2008 when the bank bailout was passed. It really began on Feb. 19th, 2009 when a television commentator named Rick Santelli stood up and said what the hell are we doing bailing out people who couldn’t afford a mortgage by taking money from people like me who are prudent?”

In any event, here’s hoping that Sarah Palin does choose to rune for President. The nation could use a few more laughs.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s


(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run