Blog Archives

Huntsman Compares GOP to Chinese Communist Party

It was enlightening to learn that former GOP Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman believes that the Republican Party is like China’s authoritarian Communist party. The Daily Beast reports that “Huntsman returned to the podium to mourn the current state of his party on Sunday night at the 92nd Street Y in New York. He spoke of being disappointed when he was uninvited from a Florida fundraiser for suggesting a third-party run, saying, ‘This is what they do in China on party matters if you talk off script.’ He noted that even Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have a shot at the nomination in this climate. ”

Huntsman of course was the only sane candidate crammed into the GOP clown-car of candidates which once held the likes of Michele “The Founding Fathers Fought To End Slavery” Bachmann, Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum and Herman “Raisin'” Cain. That group of crazies was also joined on and off again by Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Now of course, only Newt “Four Wives” Gingrich, Ron “Dr. No” Paul and Mitt “Flip Flop” Romney remain.

What separated Jon Huntsman from the other GOP hopefuls was intelligence and a sense of moderation. He was the former Governor of Utah and an Eagle Scout who was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees. He also is fluent in multiple Chinese dialects. He worked in the Reagan administration as a White House staff Assistant, in the George H. W. Bush administration as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Commerce and United States Ambassador to Singapore and in the Barack Obama administration as United States Ambassador to China.

It was impossible for Huntsman to win the Republican nomination for President precisely because of those qualities. He was intelligent enough to believe in and understand math and science (and evolution as well) and moderate enough to work with Democrats. Those attributes are a death knell in today’s Tea Party ruled GOP where candidates must publicly denounce intelligence (and evolution as well) and vow to oppose every single Democratic initiative regardless of merit.

Consequently, it is refreshing to see a man who knows an awful lot about the Chinese to recognize the striking similarity of today’s Republican Party and the Chinese Communist Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

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Mitt(wit) Romney Is The Great Pretender

Today is a big day for New Hampshire Republicans as they cast the very first votes in the nation in the Republican primary election. The heavy favorite to win is former Massachusetts Governor. But do Granite Staters enthusiastically support Romney?

The answer is “not so much” in Dixville Notch. The tiny hamlet has already closed its polls after all 7 votes were cast. The result? Mitt Romney and former Utah Gov. and former ambassador to China Jon Huntsman tied for the lead with two votes each. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and Rep. Ron Paul of Texas had one vote apiece. President Barack Obama received all three votes in the Democratic primary. That’s right, Barack Obama received more votes than all the Republican candidates.

The Dixville Notch tally is not likely to be indicative of the statewide vote. Most pundits agree that Romney (who owns a massive home in New Hampshire) should win the primary by a solid margin. But will such a victory coalesce nationwide support for Romney? Probably not. CNN reports that its recent New Hampshire Insiders Survey reveals that top Republican New Hampshirites believe that Romney has some very large obstacle to becoming the eventual Republican nominee for President.

The survey reveals that Romney biggest negatives are problematic perceptions:

– that he has changed views on issues for political gain (i.e. the flip-flop factor) – 52%;

– that he is not a true conservative (i.e. the secret liberal factor) – 40%;

– that his vision is not bold enough (i.e. the milquetoast factor) – 6% and

– None of the above – 2%.

CNN reports “The branding of Romney as a flip-flopper is his greatest liability nationally,” said one New Hampshire GOP Insider. “Why it didn’t hurt him here is because it was never pushed hard in this campaign by other candidates or the editorial pages [of local newspapers].” Another GOP Insider noted that the perception that Romney’s not a true conservative was “because he’s changed his views on key issues for political gain.” And a third said simply that Romney has “a trust deficit.” In short, nobody really likes the Mitt(wit).

If, as expected, Romney leaves New Hampshire as the victor, that does not necessarily bode well for him. He will have won both the Iowa Caucuses and the first primary election but history tells us that such an early sweep does not predict future success. consider the fact that the last Republican to win both of those contests was Gerald Ford in 1976. Ford of course, was the incumbent President who went on to get trounced by Democrat Jimmy Carter in the general election. It is also interesting to note that the Republican Party has not nominated a candidate from the Northeast since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948 and that did not go very well either.

Here’s hoping the same thing happens to Mitt Romney.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1oJuwkXr0E

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Crazy Palin Advises GOP Candidates On New Year’s Eve

Sarah Palin celebrates New Year's Eve in Wasilla, Alaska.

The publicity hound known as Sarah Palin has emerged yet again on this, the last day of 2011. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has published a column in the Washington Post in which she gives advice to the insane clown posse of candidates for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Think about that for a moment. As if the wacky and unqualified GOP field of candidates have not already embarrassed themselves enough already, they should now take advise from the wacky and unqualified Alaskan who proved to be the downfall of John McCain’s Presidential campaign in 2008? If such is the case, then it is evident that today’s Republican Party exists in some sort of alternative universe wherein up is down and good is bad and day is night.

What is worse however, is Palin’s actual advice. In a year-end effort to rake-in a little extra cash, she instructs the GOP candidates to buy her book. She says,

“Given the concerns I have for some of the Republican field’s focus thus far, I must implore the candidates to do something that sounds self-promoting, but whatever. Candidates, please turn to Chapter Three of “Going Rogue” and read what it takes for our country to step toward energy independence. Note the lesson I share in the same chapter about taking on the “elite,” the crony capitalists and the permanent political establishment to get a job done”

She then follows up by immediately contradicting herself. In her next paragraph she writes,

“Understand how the left’s terrifyingly naive assault on American industry exposes us to the mercy of foreign regimes whose prime objective is, at worst, our permanent demise and, at best, is stripping away our freedom.”

Didn’t Palin first say that the “crony capitalists” were the problem? Aren’t the crony capitalists those same American industries that exert unlimited influence on Congress through their highly compensated K Street lobbyists? As a result of that influence, don’t the corporate capitalist cronies gain political influence over our economy which is denied to the people? What is Palin’s point?

Her advice gets even more superficial and absurd when she says that the “prime objective” of “foreign regimes” is, at best, “stripping away our freedom”. How are foreign regimes stripping away our freedom? Of course Palin fails to provide any substantiation whatsoever for that crazy allegation.

Here’s hoping the flip-flopping duo of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich, and the moonbat-crazy trio of  Rick Santorum, Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul heed Palin’s advise and thereby hasten their self-imposed political implosions. That would leave the only somewhat sane and adult GOP candidate in the room to move forward. Jon Huntsman would at least be a credible candidate and the general election campaign could then focus on the important issues and not simple broad talking points about “love of country” and “compassionate conservatism” and “mavericky mayhem”.

Please enjoy this New Year’s related song parody until we see you again next year. Here’s wishing a happy and healthy 2012 to all of you!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s New Year’s Eve inspired song parody.

Same Auld Lang Syne song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NmdFgFyhnk

SAME OLD LAME WHINE

(sung to the Dan Fogelberg song “Same Auld Lang Syne”)

Met Sarah Palin at a Walmart store
She was shoplifting like a thief
There was no sign of kids or the “First Dude”
‘Cuz Sarah brings home the beef

I recoiled from her aging face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She knew I saw the moose meat in her purse
And then she just fibbed and lied

I said I was not a security man
And then Sarah Palin was glad
She lacked any sense of embarrassment
At the thought that she was bagged

I asked if we could have a drink or two
Cuz she was such a rising star
We met “Joe Sixpack” at the liquor store
And we three went to a bar

We drank a toast to ignorance
She was a toasted cow
She tried to explain her head’s emptiness
But she did not know how

She said she’s married to a derelict
Who can’t keep a job if he tried
She would have like to say she loved the man
But she couldn’t stand the guy

I said “death panels” were the end for her
That she could turn a Red-State Blue
And did she fear her would-be son-in-law?
She just said, “Lynn, F_ _ _  you”

She said she hated all the pro-choice whores
And that she hoped they’d go to Hell
I asked if Coulter was a “he” or “she”?
Palin said she could not tell

She toasted her omnipotence
And asked us all to bow
I said, “so long and good riddance,
I must be leaving now”

Then one last toast to ignorance
Cuz it was closing time
She lacks a sense of eloquence
But has that old lame whine

The beers were empty and our tongues were tired
Another book signing today
She put her hat on and hopped on her broom
And I watched her fly away

She graduated from a “safety school”
So she has no-one else to blame
There’s no intelligence inside her dome
That’s why she is so lame.

GOP Flavor Of The Month Gingrich Leaves Bitter Aftertaste

The Republican Presidential candidate flavor of the week has just taken on a decidedly bitter aftertaste. First it was Sarah Palin that conservatives wanted as their Presidential nominee, then it was Michele Bachmann who titillated the Tea Party. When Palin elected not to run and it became evident that Bachmann was unelectable because she is moonbat-crazy, the Republican base turned to Chris Christie and Rick Perry as their taste du-jour. Like Palin however, Christie decided not to run and Perry lost favor the moment he opened his mouth at debates. Next up was Herman Cain. Unfortunately, he also left a bad taste in the mouths of conservatives when his series of unfortunate events (raising taxes on the working class, multiple sexual harassment claim and ignorance of foreign policy) unfolded. Consequently, Republicans have now turned their lonely eyes to Newt Gingrich. Unfortunately (for the GOP and Gingrich), he too is now quickly souring.

It is now more than obvious that Republicans are turning over every stone in an attempt to unearth a nominee other than the despised Mitt Romney. Nonetheless, it does not look like Newt Gingrich is “The One”. He jumped to the top of the GOP list only after the five aforementioned saviors imploded. It is understandable why he was their sixth choice. After all, Newt Gingrich was the only Speaker of the House in history to be sanctioned while in office for an ethics violation. It is also remarkable that he was driven from the speakership position and also his seat in the House of Representatives by his own Republican Party. Additionally, It was recently discovered that the self-described fiscal conservative ran up a nearly $1 million credit bill at toney Tiffany & Co. jewelers while simultaneously his campaign is nearly $1 million in debt. Shortly thereafter, his entire senior campaign staff abruptly quit on him.

This week, things got even worse for Newt Gingrich. Gingrich has long been running along the campaign trail blaming (unjustifiably) pseudo-governmental Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac for the mortgage meltdown which collapsed our economy in 2007. Indeed, on October 11, 2011 he went so far as to say,

“If you want to put people in jail… You ought to start with Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. And let’s look at the politicians who created the environment, the politicians who profited from the environment, and the politicians who put this country in trouble. In Barney Frank’s case, go back and look at the lobbyists he was close to at Freddie Mac.”

By the way, here is Barney Frank’s response to Gingrich’s statement:

Damming words. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich, it was just discovered that he was one of those Freddie Mac lobbyists or consultants. Bloomberg reported on Tuesday that Gingrich was hired to gain GOP support on Capitol Hill as the government-backed mortgage company came under fire during the subprime mortgage meltdown. CNN also confirmed that “Gingrich Group was paid between $1.6 million and $1.8 million to lobby Republicans in Congress on behalf of the government-backed mortgage lender.” The payments to Gingrich were made during two periods – from 1999 to 2002 and 2006 to 2008. CNN reports that a former official who worked for Freddie Mac during both of Gingrich’s stints, claims that Gingrich was consulted about Freddie’s efforts to become more transparent about “risk and capital management” procedures, risk information disclosure, and how those efforts would be received in Congress, specifically by Republicans. The official went on to say that during his first stint, Freddie Mac wanted to “bond” with Bush administration officials on the idea of creating a “home ownership society” – getting more Latinos and other minorities into home ownership – and worked with Gingrich on that.

It sure looks like Newt Gingrich has some ‘splainin’ to do!

Stay tuned for the upcoming announcement of the newest Republican Presidential flavor of the week. Who will it be? Ron Paul? Rick Santorum? Jon Huntsman? One thing is certain however, it will not be the all but certain eventual nominee, Mitt Romney.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

And Then There Were Three

Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and Rick Santorum

Although most Republicans do not believe in science, the theory of natural selection appears to be working as planned in the GOP race for the Presidential nomination. The original herd of eighteen strong has been thinned downed to only three remaining viable candidates. In a sort of reverse Darwinism, we are witnessing the survival of the un-fittest.

Just a few short months ago the GOP field was chock-full of coconuts. There was Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Fred Karger, Jon Huntsman, Andy Martin, Ron Paul, Jimmy McMillan, Rick Perry, Tom Miller, Rick Santorum, Buddy Roemer, Matt Snyder, Vern Wuensche and Thad McCotter. Shortly thereafter, Johnson, Karger, Martin, McMillan, Roemer, Snyder and Wuensche were eliminated by virtue of the fact that not a single person outside of their immediate families had ever heard of them. Then Tim Pawlenty and Thad McCotter quit. There was almost an increase in the herd after those nine were lost, when the GOP base began clamoring for Mitch Daniels, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Sarah Palin and Chris Christie. Unfortunately, the injection of new blood never came to pass as each potential contestant for the title of “The Next One” took a pass. The herd had been thinned to eight survivors.

Next we had the eliminations “for cause”. The first victim in this category was Newt Gingrich when it was revealed that the self-proclaimed fiscal conservative had run up his credit card to the tune of close to a million dollars owed to the high-end jeweler Tiffany & Co. and that his campaign was more than a million dollars in debt. The next victim was moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann. After being an early fan-favorite, Bachmann collapsed when she started playing doctor with Rick Perry by claiming that the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation. That statement was the “shot heard round the world” in Michele Bachmann’s “War on Facts”. Next, we witnessed Ron Paul’s self immolation during a televised debate when he implied that sick people without health insurance should either rely upon charity or simply die as the result of their illness. To prove his point, he then pointed out that one of his own staffers died as the result of having no health insurance. Rick Perry became the next casualty when, as Brit Hume so eloquently stated, he “threw up all over himself” at the debates. Perry then committed political suicide last week when he appeared to be either drunk or heavily medicated at a speaking engagement in New Hampshire, the video of which went viral. Finally, Herman Cain was eliminated when it was revealed that his 9-9-9 tax plan would actually cut taxes for the rich and raise taxes on 84% of Americans. Cain then put the exclamation point on the demise of his candidacy this week when it was revealed that he has a proclivity for inappropriate sexual behavior with women who do not happen to be his wife.

So there you have it. The Republican field for the Presidential nomination has been thinned to three candidates. Problem is, Republican voters do not like any of them. Jon Huntsman was essentially eliminated from consideration the moment he accepted a position in the Obama Administration as the Ambassador to China and said nice things about the President in a letter. Rick Santorum meanwhile is the textbook definition of an “empty suit” inasmuch as he has accomplished absolutely nothing in his political career other than suggesting that same sex marriage will lead to people having sex with their dogs. That leaves Mitt Romney. The Republican base despises this guy not only because he is a Mormon, but also because they believe he is a liberal in disguise. That is not an unfair accusation in light of the fact that he has changed his political stance on important conservative issues such as a women’s right to choose, gun regulation, climate change, illegal immigration, the auto bailouts, the flat tax and public sector unions. Romney’s biggest problem with conservatives however, is the fact that he is the architect of President Obama’s health care law and the first elected official to enforce the personal mandate to purchase health insurance.

Republicans nationwide will soon be sending out an S.O.S. distress signal for a new candidate. Somebody? Anybody?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 93

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Massachusetts voters actually like candidates with Ivy League connections. The most  poll from the Western New England University Polling Institute reveals that only 13 percent of Massachusetts are “less likely” to vote for Democratic US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren because she teaches at Harvard Law School. Conversely, 21 percent said that fact makes them more likely to vote for Warren while 63 percent said it makes no difference at all. Something tells me the result would have been different in Texas.

THIS JUST IN:  Have you noticed that the Republican Presidential candidates (especially Michele Bachmann) have stopped talking about the price of gas? The reason for their sudden silence might have something to do with the fact that gas prices have been falling since may to about $ 3.40 as of October 5th. There goes one more GOP talking point out the window.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see that Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin beat his Republican opponent in West Virginia’s special gubernatorial election last week. Congratulations Earl!

THIS JUST IN:  Did you realize that the War in Afghanistan had its 10th anniversary on October 7th? Viet Nam anyone?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Sane Judicial Decisions Which Are Certain To Be Overturned By The US Supreme Court” features the US Appeals Court for the District of Columbia which upheld as constitutional, a D.C. law which bans semi-automatic rifles and large capacity ammunition magazines.

THIS JUST IN:  Herman Cain must not want to be President of the United States. If he did, he would never have said the following to the over 14 million presently unemployed American voters, “If you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Something tells me that those words are going to come to roost at Cain campaign headquarters.

BREAKING NEWS:  It looks like GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry may also have to deal with some chickens coming home to roost. Texas pastor, Robert Jeffress introduced Perry at a conference of Christian conservatives last week and then stated that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon Church is a cult. I wonder if Jeffress feels the same about Jon Huntsman? Perry now has his own Reverend Wright.

THIS JUST IN:  The economic geniuses over at Fox News have repeatedly criticized the Democrats’ attempts to raise taxes on millionaires as “class warfare” while touting Herman Cain‘s 9-9-9 plan which would raise taxes on the poor and middle class as sound economic policy. Hmm?

BREAKING NEWS:  Crazy headline of the week: “Tea Party Nation Urges Monday Night Football Boycott, Backs Hank Williams For Senate“.

THIS JUST IN:  Ever wonder what happened to the “Birthers” who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States? Did you think that they walked away with their tails between their collective legs when Obama’s long form birth certificate was produced and authenticated? Nope. They did however take another slap to the face from the US Supreme court last Monday when nation’s highest court refused to take up a case brought by three people “who claim President Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen of the United States of America and, hence, is ineligible to be the President.” Will these people ever learn? Don’t count on it.

BREAKING NEWS: It would appear that Massachusetts’ Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, Elizabeth Warren is siding with the 99%. In a debate last week she unapologetically said, “The people on Wall Street broke this country, and they did it one lousy mortgage at a time. This happened more than three years ago, and there still has been no basic accountability, and there has been no real effort to fix it. This isn’t about class warfare, this is about the reality of how we prosper as a nation.” Brava, Ms. Warren! She unabashedly speaks truth to power.

THIS JUST IN:  My favorite quote from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last week was in reference to Sarah Palin‘s announcement that she would not seek the Presidency. Stewart’s quote? “Take The Money And Don’t Run”. Brilliant.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Take The Money And Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-vBd-r_Pww

TAKE THE MONEY AND  RUN

(sung to the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run”)

This here’s a story ‘bout Sarah P. or “Caribou”
As for nicknames, ya know, she’s got quite a few
There’s “Failin’ Palin” and the “Pig with Lipstick” too
And here’s what happened up north when she was cut loose

She was the Guv, but spent no time in Juneau
One mean bitch with the temperament of Cujo
She double-crossed just about anyone you know
Sarah P. took the money and run

Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run

Sarah P. said she would not accept federal money
She said Obama was up to something funny
She told the Senate to hop away like a bunny
The legislature said, “Thanks But No Thanks” honey

Sarah P. was pissed she didn’t get her way
To Indiana she went, the very next day
The House and Senate, hey
Took the funds anyway
Sarah P. was forced to  declare the “Big OK”
Singin’ OK let’s take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
(Haroooga!)
OK, take the money and run

GOP Candidates’ Sanity Is Debatable

For those of you who missed the show, here is a quick summary of the highlights of last night’s Republican Primary Debate:

Herman Cain: “9 – 9 – 9”

Rick Santorum: “Newt Gingrich is my mentor”

Newt Gingrich: “I’m frankly not interested in your efforts to get Republicans fighting each other”

Ron Paul: ““You know, the governor of Texas [Perry] criticized the governor of Massachusetts [Romney] for RomneyCare. But he wrote a really fancy letter supporting HillaryCare. So we probably ought to ask him about that.” And “The drug manufacturers and air pilots can self-regulate their own products and the skies.”

Jon Huntsman: “Listen, when you [Perry and Bachmann] make comments that fly in the face of what 98 out of 100 climate scientists have said, when you call into question the science of evolution, all I’m saying is that, in order for the Republican Party to win, we can’t run from science.”

Michele Bachmann: “Obamacare, Obamacare, Obamacare.”

Mitt Romney: “The previous Texas Governor George Bush created more jobs than you [Perry].”

Rick Perry: “The previous Massachusetts Governor Mike Dukakis created more jobs than you [Romney] and Social Security is a Ponzi scheme.”

DEBATE WINNER: JON HUNTSMAN

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Unimpressive GOP Presidential Candidates Lost In A Field Of Dreams

As of July 2011, the field of confirmed Republican 2012 Presidential candidates is laughable. In modern history has there ever been a more radically-conservative, unaccomplished, boring and out and out insane group to seek our nation’s highest office? At his point President Barack Obama is sitting pretty while he wonders which one of these under-achievers will ultimately square-off against him in November of next year. Let’s take a look at these GOP wannabes.

Mitt Romney: Known as Mitt(wit) in his former home of Massachusetts, Romney’s state ranked 47th (out of 50) in job creation while he was governor. That is especially embarrassing when one considers that he was governor of the Bay State during an economic boom-time. Romney is also known for his propensity to flip-flop on issues more than anyone in history. He was in favor of a woman’s right to choose before he was against it. He was in favor of strict hand-gun regulation before he was against it. He was in favor of a path to citizenship immigration policy before he was against it. Most striking of all, he was the author of the first comprehensive health care reform law which was spearheaded by a personal mandate to purchase health insurance before he was against the new national law which is a virtual clone.

Donald Trump:  Oh wait a second, the bankrupt billionaire has already quit the race. He says that he is considering re-entering however, so let’s keep him on the list for awhile. Donald Trump, really? Say no more.

Newt Gingrich:  The former disgraced Republican Speaker of the House has already been forced out of politics once by his own party. He has been married three times and has switched religious affiliations as often. He claims to represent the interests of working-class Americans as he runs up million dollar credit card bills at posh jeweler Tiffany. Nearly his entire staff has already quit on him and his campaign is approximately $1 million in debt. Does Gingrich sound like a good candidate to lead the nation out of its economic woes?

Tim Pawlenty:  BORING!!! Pawlenty is the former Governor of Minnesota who claimed to be fiscally conservative while agreeing to spend hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to build a baseball stadium for the millionaire owner of the Minnesota Twins. His gubernatorial election wins have always been by the slimmest of margins. His approval rating among his home state Minnesotans is always less than 50%. Pawlenty also pardoned a man named Jeremy Geifer, who in 1993 spent 45 days in jail and registered as a sex offender for impregnating his 14-year-old girlfriend when he was 19. Thereafter, Geifer’s daughter, the one whose conception sparked the original conviction, accused Geifer of raping her before, during and after Pawlenty pardoned the ex-con. Think of 1988 Presidential candidate Michael Dukakis and his “Willy Horton problem”. All of this may explain why Pawlenty’s campaign has only been able to raise $4.5 million in donations.

Jon Huntsman: The former Utah Governor served in the Obama Administration as Ambassador to China. In letters to President Obama he said, “You are a remarkable leader, and it has been a great honor getting to know you”, “the graciousness and kindness you have shown me and my family – particularly your confidence in my ability to represent you in China”, “I have enormous regard for your experience, sense of history and brilliant analysis of world events” and “I must report that Sec. Clinton has won the hearts and minds of the State Dept. bureaucracy — no easy task. And after watching her in action, I can see why. She is well-read, hard working, personable and has even more charisma than her husband! It’s an honor to work with her”. When Huntsman is forced out of the Republican race, perhaps he can switch allegiances and campaign on behalf of Barack Obama.

Herman Cain:  The former pizza shop owner and lobbyist opposes abortion even in the case of incest or rape. He is a racist who dislikes Muslims. He has stated that he was “uncomfortable” when he found that the surgeon operating on his liver and colon cancer was Muslim because, “”based upon the little knowledge that I have of the Muslim religion, you know, they have an objective to convert all infidels or kill them”. When asked in asked in March 2011 if he would feel comfortable appointing a Muslim to his administration or as a Judge. Cain said “No, I will not … There’s this creeping attempt, there’s this attempt, to gradually ease Shariah Law, and the Muslim faith into our government. It does not belong in our government”. Cain has also stated that president Barack Obama was  “raised in Kenya”. In short, Cain is an unhealthy pizza with everything bad on it. Even Hitler finds Herman Cain unelectable. Watch this newly discovered secret footage:

Ron Paul:  Ron Paul is our first candidate that belongs in the moonbat-crazy Tea Party Division of the Republican Party.  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”. He opposes birthright citizenship. He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve. He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth. He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional. He is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox. He is also a racist who said this in his very own newsletter, “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.” And this, “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”. And this, “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be”.

Michele Bachmann:  This Minnesota Congresswoman is absolutely the craziest bat in the GOP belfry. She too belongs in the moonbat-crazy Tea Party Division of the Republican Party. She too opposes abortion even in the case of rape or incest. She hates gays and considers them “part of Satan”. She denounces govt. subsidies and Medicaid except when she, her husband and family are recipients of same. She has said the following: “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it”, “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design” and “[Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that”. She also believes the the famous “shot heard round the world” was fired in New Hampshire and that our founding fathers “fought tirelessly to end slavery”. Now that is a bag-full of crazy.

Rick Santorum,   Santorum is the former GOP Senator from Pennsylvania who was soundly defeated by Democrat Bob Casey, Jr. in 2006. He lost by a margin of  59% to 41% which is the largest margin of defeat for an incumbent Senator since 1980. He denies the theory of evolution and is adamantly anti-gay. He once said that gay marriage would ultimately lead to men having sex with dogs.

Gary Johnson  Never heard of him.

Fred karger,  Never heard of him.

Andy Martin:  Never heard of him.

Thaddeus McCotter:  Never heard of him.

Roy Moore: Never heard of him.

Buddy Roemer:  Never heard of him.

With this group of clowns who needs Sarah Palin?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Tim Pawlenty makes me snore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

  • Boom, bam, boom
  • Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….