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Ted Nugent Should Face The Music

The fact that we are even commenting on Ted Nugent proves that this is a slow news day. After all, the aging former wanna-be rock star was not even very notable or relevant in his hey day back in the 1970s. He only had one very marginal hit song followed by a seemingly unending string of albums which were almost immediately relegated to the record store’s “discount bin”.

Following his dismal music career, Nugent became a fervent supporter of the NRA and the Republican Party. This makes perfect sense because Nugent is the model Republican citizen with his multiple marriages and eight children with three born out of wedlock. Like Republican Rep. Joe Walsh, Nugent was also a deadbeat dad who failed to pay his child support. Spin magazine even went so far as to include Ted Nugent in its list of the “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock”. Why? Because in 1978, Nugent began a relationship with seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa. Due to the age difference they could not marry so Nugent joined Massa’s parents in signing documents to make himself her legal guardian. Eewww!

Nugent is probably now known best for his violent and vulgar rhetoric directed towards Democratic Party politicians. For example, at a concert on August 21, 2007, Nugent made controversial comments about Democratic Party presidential aspirants Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and California’s senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He complained, “Obama’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Referring to Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm (in office 2003-11), during performances he would frequently interject “Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass” into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm “is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless”.

Nugent’s most recent spew of hate speak might land him in jail however. Last week while giving a Mitt Romney stump speech at the 2012 NRA Convention in St. Louis, Nugent said, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” He also compared the Obama administration to coyotes who needed to be shot, and encouraged voters to “chop [Democrats'] heads off in November.”

It would appear that Ted Nugent publicly proclaimed that he would attempt to assassinate or do harm to President Obama if he is elected again. Or, as CNN’s LZ Granderson put it, “A man with a truckload of guns has threatened the life of our president while the country’s at war.” In retrospect the recent comment about Ann Romney never having had a paying job in her life seems to pale in comparison.

Granderson went on to say,

Nugent’s words were: “If Barack Obama is elected, I’ll either be dead or in jail this time next year,” which sounds to me like he’s open to directing his disapproval of Obama in a way that is violent and unlawful. When you see that statement next to Nugent comparing Obama and his colleagues to coyotes that needed to be shot, as well as the need to “ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November,” I don’t see how that rant cannot be looked upon as a threat on the president’s life.

Ted Nugent’s words did not go unnoticed by the Secret Service however. He has been called in to speak with members of the agency who are responsible for guarding the President’s life today. Secret Service spokesman George Ogilvie confirmed that the agency was looking into the matter and said, “We are aware of the incident and we are taking appropriate follow-up.”

Looks like Ted Nugent may be forced to face the music.

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is based upon Ted Nugent’s only hit song.

“Cat Scratch Fever” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEcHcxW0nXE

RAT ASS FEVER

 (sung to the Ted Nugent song “Cat Scratch Fever”)

Well I don’t know where Ted comes from
But he sure is dumb
Fits in with the G.O.P.
But I do know Nugent blew-it
And he sure blew it good
They give his songs away for free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

Well the first time that I thought it
Was on his radio show
Ted’s songs and his monologue did bore
He is nothing but a shock jock
Talking bout a race war
And calling Democrats “whores”

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

He’s not too dangerous
He’s got no brain
Ted Nugent’s stra-stra-strange
No doubt about it
He’s been goin’ insane
Soon he’ll be sayin’ “bye-bye”
He wants Obama dead

(jail break)

He’ll be doing the jail tour
For the things he has planned
They might just throw away the key
No more hate speech on his show
Ted Nugent’s sure to be banned
It should be years before he’s free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever

Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

A Few Tasty Tid-Bits On Which To Chew

While awaiting the outcome of the House Republicans’ internal civil war (Tea Baggers v. Entrenched Incumbents) to see if they can pass a debt ceiling bill which is nevertheless doomed to failure in the Senate, let’s take a look at what else is going on in the world of politics and punditry.

REPUBLICAN INFIGHTING CONTINUES:  Republican Sen. John McCain on Wednesday said ultimatums issued by many in his conference, like insisting on a balanced budget amendment to the constitution that he said will not become law, are “worse than foolish.” Today, freshman Tea Party backed Rep. Joe Walsh (you know, the fiscal conservative who is so conservative that he fails to pay his own child support) said, “Folks like Sen. John McCain have been in this town for too long and they’re the ones who have gotten us into this mess year after year after year. Folks like him … have no clue as to the troubles Americans are going through right now. They don’t understand this crisis anymore.” It is so satisfying watching Republicans eat their own.

MICHELE BACHMANN CONTINUES TO BURY HER HEAD IN THE SAND:  Despite the fact that every economic expert and financial adviser warns that a failure to raise the debt ceiling will have disastrous effects on the US economy including a devaluation of the dollar, rising interest rates, an increasing national debt caused by higher interest rates and a loss of faith from other nations, Michele Bachmann continues to insist that there is no problem. Today she said, “I do not believe for one moment that we will lose the full faith and credit of the United States.” She also said she plans to vote against the latest proposal from House Speaker John Boehner that would raise the debt limit and reduce the deficit. Is anyone surprised, after all Bachmann also denies the theory of evolution.

TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY DECLARES THAT HE WILL NOT MARRY A MAN:  In an interview today with Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, the potential GOP presidential candidate said, “gay marriage is not fine with me.” OK Rick, so don’t marry a man. Does that work for you?

NEWT GINGRICH’S CAMPAIGN SUFFERS ANOTHER BLOW:  First it was Tiffany-Gate when the nation learned that the self-described frugal fiscal conservative had run up a line of credit approaching a million dollars at the posh jewelry store. Next, virtually every one of his important campaign staff abruptly quit on him. Then we learned that his presidential campaign is over $1 million in debt. And today it was revealed that the man who proclaims that he will bring manufacturing jobs back to the United States has his “Newt 2012″ t-shirts manufactured in El Salvador. Ouch! Stick a fork in Gingrich cuz he’s done.


CAPITOL HILL TEA PARTY RALLY IS A FLOP: 
Tea Party Express and the American Grassroots Coalition staged a really, really big Tea Party rally on Capitol Holl this week featuring such Teapublican heroes as Presidential candidate Herman Cain, conservative Sens. Jim DeMint of South Carolina, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Mike Lee of Utah. It has been reported by Politico.com however, that virtually no Tea Baggers bothered to show up. “At the start of the rally… there were roughly 15 attendees waiting to hear the conservative lawmakers speak. By the time the senators had spoken there were still fewer than 50 tea partiers in attendance. You will also recall that the annual Tea Party Convention was also recently cancelled for lack of interest. Looks like the Tea Party’s 15 minutes are officially over.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

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