Monthly Archives: April 2012

Rick Santorum Was A Frothy Candidate

As you all know by know. Republican Presidential candidate Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum quit the race yesterday. He will be missed. The GOP clown-car full of candidates has now been reduced to three. This insane asylum of characters once included, Tim “Good ‘n” Pawlenty, Michele “The Founding Fathers Worked Tirelessly To End Slavery” Bachmann, Herman “Raising” Cain, Jon “Who” Huntsman and Rick “Dumber Than Bush” Perry. We were also teased with the potential candidacies of Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Still, Santorum will be missed.

No longer is there an extreme homophobe in the race who can vomit out the sort of frothy mixture of ignorance and fear that Santorum had mastered. No longer is there a racist who believes only black people receive entitlement benefits. No longer is there a candidate who believes that parents who desire to send their children to college are “snobs”. No longer is there a person who throws-up when he reads president Kennedy’s speech about the separation of church and state. Finally, no longer is there a candidate who advocates that young Americans put a “Santorum” bumper sticker on their car to serve their country rather than putting-on a military uniform.

Political Humor/About.com has compiled a wonderful list of these and other moonbat-crazy Rick Santorum quotes as follows:

1. “In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.” —Rick Santorum , speaking to a reporter in 2003, who said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to talk about ‘man on dog’ with a United States senator, it’s sort of freaking me out.”

2. “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country…. Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” —Rick Santorum, interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com (October 2011)

3. “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” —Rick Santorum, campaigning for president in Iowa (January 2012)

4. “President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob … Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image.” –Rick Santorum, speaking to a Tea Party group in Michigan (February 2012)

5. “Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.” –Rick Santorum, on JFK’s 1960 speech about the importance of separation of church and state (October 2011)

6. “The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘We’re going to decide who are people and who are not people.'” —Rick Santorum, CNS News interview (January 2011)

7. “I think the Democrats are actually worried he (Obama) may go to Indonesia and bow to more Muslims.” –Rick Santorum, Fox News interview (May 2010)

8. “[Gay marriage] is an issue just like 9-11… We didn’t decide we wanted to fight the war on terrorism because we wanted to. It was brought to us. And if not now, when? When the supreme courts in all the other states have succumbed to the Massachusetts version of the law?” –Rick Santorum, interview with the Allentown Morning Call (February 2004)

9. “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?” –Rick Santorum, in a Philadelphia Inquirer column (May 2008)

10. “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American Left who hates Christendom. … What I’m talking about is onward American soldiers. What we’re talking about are core American values.” –Rick Santorum, campaigning for president in South Carolina (February 2011)

Bonus quote:
“We have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what’s at stake. They’re willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I’m asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country?” —Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), during his losing 2006 re-election bid, urging supporters to put a Rick Santorum bumper sticker on their cars.

Ahh Rick, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have much more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Another One Bites The Dust” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfEcvBfUY4

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

 (sung to the Queen song “Another One Bites The Dust”)

Rick walks warily down Wall Street
He now has nowhere to go
Santorum knows the taste of defeat
The lights went down on his show

Was he ready?
Was he ready for this?
To hide his face and flee in retreat?
Rick wasted every bargaining chip
Now he’s facing the heat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Same is true for Bachmann too
Another one bites the dust

Rick Perry was a clown who didn’t belong
Pawlenty’s been long gone
Herman Cain was just a philandering cad
Huntsman was just an unknown

Are they happy, are they satisfied?
They all looked bad in defeat
They all were given the ol’ pink slip
Now they’re out on the street

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, when will Gingrich be through?
Another one bites the dust

(misinformation break)

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

There are plenty of ways you can beat this clan
And bring them to the ground
You can beat ‘em
And defeat ‘em
It is really sad, they are all such wimpy clowns
They’re unsteady,  they’re completely unglued
A pile of homophobic meat
Mitt Romney’s known to flop and to flip
Paul is old and so obsolete

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, the G.O.P. is through
Another one bites the dust

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Is Mitt Romney Disqualified From Serving As President? (What About His Father?)

This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Own” features likely GOP Presidential nominee Willard M. Romney.

Are you folks familiar with the “Birthers”? Surely you must remember them. They are the folks like once-and-future GOP Presidential candidate Donald Trump, lawyer/dentist/realtor Orly Taitz, nutjob Maricopa County Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio and about 75% of Tea Party members. As you will recall, these folks do not believe that President Barack Obama was born in the United States despite all proof to the contrary and not a scintilla of credible evidence to support their allegation. Indeed, as recently as this week the anti-Obama Birther movement re-emerged when Republican U.S. Rep. Vicky Hartzler (MO) said she “doubts” that the birth certificate produced by President Obama is legitimate.

To their credit however, we have just learned that The Birthers are equal opportunity accusers. The Los Angeles Times reports that a group of minor party candidates and conspiracy theorists have sued California Secretary of State Debra Bowen to demand that she verify and/or address “questions concerning the eligibility” of Mitt Romney to vie for the role of commander in chief. The law suit was commenced by Republican write-in candidate John Albert Dummett, Jr., and Markham Robinson, the chairman of the American Independent Party of California, among other politicians and voters. The U.S. Constitution of course, requires the President to be U.S. born and at least 35 years of age.

MSN.com reports that one Birther explains that Romney’s citizenship is up for debate because his dad was born in Mexico. That is correct, Mitt Romney’s father was born in the Mexican colony that Mitt’s great-grandfather founded after fleeing the United States so he could stay married to Romney’s four great-grandmothers. Folks are now wondering if Mitt was, in fact, born in his father’s foreign homeland.

Of course, this also brings up the the fact that Mitt’s father George Romney was not eligible to serve as President when he ran for the Republican nomination in 1968. Where was all the conservative right-wing outrage then?

We can only wonder if Trump, Taitz, Arpaio and the Tea Baggers will take the same interest in Mitt Romney’s place of birth as they have with that of Barack Obama.

Stay tuned. Same moon-bat channel. Same moon-bat time (obscure 1960’s “Batman” television series reference for those of you under the age of 45).

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“The Addams Family” theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIJoTEliQcU

THE ROMNEY FAMILY

 (sung to the theme song for “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re kooky
Four wives is really loopy
They’re out of touch and snooty
The Romney family

They’re house is a museum
Earn millions by per diem
They’re dog, you never see him
The Romney family

(Cheat)
(Suite)
(Wall Street)

The Birthers came a callin’
Mitt Romney’s stock is fallin’
He is just so appallin’
The Romney Family

Is Mitt(wit) Romney A Liar, Stupid or Both?

Lynnrockets hereby apologizes for the long break between posts. Thanks to those of you for sending emails and inquiring if everything is “OK”. Rest assured that all is well. Sometimes life gets hectic however and some things require more attention than others. In short, I was simply a little too busy with my real job for the last month and something had to make way for awhile. Unfortunately, that “something” was Lynnrocket’s Blast-Off. In an attempt to be “fair and balanced” (pun intended) however, the next time that things get very busy, something else will be temporarily put on hold rather than this blog. After all, they say a person can go about three weeks without eating.

In any event, let’s get back to business.

The proverbial “Fat Lady” is now singing. The 2012 Republican primary race is over. Newt Gingrich has conceded that rival Mitt Romney is “far and away” the most likely candidate to win the Republican nomination. Rick Santorum has lost a string of primaries and may even lose to Romney in his very own home state of Pennsylvania. Bring on Romney v. Obama!

Rest assured that this will be an uphill battle for Mitt Romney. All seven of the most recent nationwide polls (Rasmussen, USA Today/Gallup, CNN/Opinion Research, McClatchy/Marist, PPP, Reason-Rupe and even Fox News) presently reveal that Obama will beat Romney in a head-to-head election. Additionally, all six of the most recent polls (Gallup, Rasmussen, CNN/Opinion Research, McClatchy/Marist, Reason-Rupe and Fox News) reveal that President Obama’s job approval rating is on the rise. Yet, those are not the only problems facing Romney.

Mitt Romney’s biggest obstacle to getting elected may be his own ignorance and/or his penchant for lying. By now, everyone is aware that Romney  has switched positions on most every single policy stand he has taken since being in politics (See abortion, Romneycare, gun regulation, immigration, etc.), but he also has a problem telling the truth. For the last several weeks, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow has been posting columns on her “The Maddow Blog” titled “Chronicling Mitt’s Mendacity” in which she reveals the many lies of Mitt Romney. Maddow’s chronicles have thus far added up to twelve lie-filled volumes. Please do yourselves a favor and read them all here.

Here is a just a sampling of some of Mitt Romney’s most outrageous whoppers since February of this year:

1. Campaigning in Wisconsin, Romney complained, “The president put an ad out yesterday, talking about gasoline prices and how high they are. And guess who he blamed? Me!”

That’s not true; Obama’s ad does not blame Romney for gas prices. It simply tells voters that the oil companies are supporting Romney’s campaign.

2. In an ad, the Romney campaign argued that Obama “has managed to pile on nearly as much debt as all the previous presidents combined.”

That’s not even close to the truth.

3. In an interview with James Pethokoukis, Romney insisted that Obama has “launched an all-out attack on small business.”

In reality, Obama has cut taxes on small businesses, eased the process that allows small businesses to be created, and streamlined the patent process.

4. Rolling out his new stump speech this week, Romney claimed, “Barack Obama presided over the first trillion-dollar deficit in American history.”

That’s incredibly dishonest. The deficit Bush left for Obama to clean up was $1.3 trillion on the day Obama was inaugurated.

5. The Romney campaign argued this week that Romney, during his only term as governor, had “four years of budget surpluses.”

Actually, Romney left his successor a $1.3 billion deficit to clean up.

6. In the same speech, Romney said, “Through it all, President Obama has failed to even pass a budget.”

That doesn’t even make sense — presidents don’t pass budgets; Congress passes budgets.

7. In the same speech, Romney said, “As I have said many times before, the President did not cause the economic crisis, but he made it worse.”

Romney is lying because he’s also said the American economy has improved under Obama.

8. Romney argued this week, “There’s no question that when [President Obama] ran for office, he said he wanted to see gasoline prices go up.”

No, he didn’t.

9. Romney also told Fox News’ Bret Baier this week about President Obama, “This is a president [who] simply does not have experience in tough situations.”

That’s ironic coming from a coddled multi-millionaire from a powerful, wealthy family, but it’s also blatantly untrue. Obama has experience leading the nation during a time of multiple ongoing crises. Love him or hate him, the economic crisis, the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the strikes on bin Laden and al Qaeda, and the offensive in Libya count as “tough situations” — tougher than anything Romney has ever seen in his entire life.

10. Romney promised, “Instead of raising taxes, I will cut them.”

Well, he’d cut taxes for most folks, but for those working families struggling most, the Romney plan calls for a tax increase.

11. Romney also told Mississippi Republicans about the president, “He was going to cut the budget deficit in half. He’s doubled it.”

This is one of Romney’s favorite lines, but it’s simply absurd on its face — he’s either lying or he’s bad at arithmetic. When Obama took office, the deficit was about $1.3 trillion. Last year, it was $1.29 trillion. This year, it’s on track to be about $1.1 trillion. Does Romney not know what “double” means? (Even if we believe Romney is confusing the words “deficit” and “debt,” it’s still wrong. The only modern presidents to double the debt on their watch were Reagan and George W. Bush. Obama inherited a $10 trillion debt, and it’s nowhere near $20 trillion.)

12. As Paul Krugman noted, Romney also argued that gasoline prices are high because President Obama won’t allow unrestricted drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

What Romney’s saying just isn’t true.

13. Romney told Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, “Time and again, I pointed out I’m not in favor of a health care plan that includes a national mandate.”

Time and again, Romney has said he’s in favor of a health care plan that includes a national mandate.

14. Commenting on his health care reform law in Massachusetts, Romney told voters in Ohio this week, “Early on, we were asked if what you did in Massachusetts should be something you’d have the federal government do? I said no from the very beginning. No. This is designed for our state and our circumstance.”

He was lying.

15. Romney said of Obama this week, “He gave a speech the other day at his State of the Union address. He didn’t even mention the deficit or the debt.”

Obama mentioned the deficit and the debt six times in his State of the Union address.

16. Romney argued, “President Obama wants to raise your taxes; I’m going to cut them.”

Actually, Obama only wants to raise taxes on those making over $250,000 a year. Romney proposes massive tax breaks, except for those struggling most — their taxes would go up under Romney’s plan.

17. Referring to the president, Romney argued, “He also promised he’d cut taxes for middle-income Americans. Hasn’t done that, either.”

Actually, Obama has cut middle-class taxes several times over the last three years. If this is supposed to be one of Romney’s key areas of interest, how could he not have noticed this?

18. Romney argued this morning, “You know how many trade agreements this president has negotiated? Zero.”

Panama, Colombia, and South Korea know better.

19. Romney claimed that Syria is Iran’s “route to the sea.”

Iran has 1,520 miles of its own coastline — and doesn’t share a border with Syria.

20. Romney told Fox News’ Neil Cavuto he tried to “remove” the contraception mandate in Massachusetts, but the state legislature wouldn’t let him.

That’s not what happened.

Paul Krugman, noting Romney’s dishonesty, recently said the Republican presidential candidate “seems confident that he will pay no price for making stuff up.” Given the frequency with which he repeats falsehoods, it seems clear Krugman was right.

And the list goes on and on and on and on and……..

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Johnny B. Goode” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8JULmUlGDA

ROMNEY’S NO GOOD

 (sung to the Chuck Berry song “Johnny B. Goode”)

Way down Louisiana and in New Orleans
Mitt Romney looked dejected in his pressed blue jeans
He’s not very welcomed in that neighborhood
He’s not a country boy and they think he’s no good
They never ever saw a person lie so well
They are not really so sure that Mormons can avoid hell

No No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!

Mitt Romney was a pro-choice star but then he went back
He fathered RomneyCare and that is a fact
Oh, the Mitt(wit) penned his dog in a kennel he made
Up on top of his car, the dog was afraid
People passing by they would point and say
Who treats a dear family pet that way?

No No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!

(Tax Break For The Rich)

Mitt Romney is nothing but a flip-flopping man
He changes his positions as fast as he can
He once liked gun laws, now says they’re unsound
He’ll take any position that gains him some ground
Mitt’s really nothing but a John McCain-Lite
Sorry Romney’s no good tonight

No No
No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!