Daily Archives: April 11, 2012

Rick Santorum Was A Frothy Candidate

As you all know by know. Republican Presidential candidate Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum quit the race yesterday. He will be missed. The GOP clown-car full of candidates has now been reduced to three. This insane asylum of characters once included, Tim “Good ‘n” Pawlenty, Michele “The Founding Fathers Worked Tirelessly To End Slavery” Bachmann, Herman “Raising” Cain, Jon “Who” Huntsman and Rick “Dumber Than Bush” Perry. We were also teased with the potential candidacies of Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Still, Santorum will be missed.

No longer is there an extreme homophobe in the race who can vomit out the sort of frothy mixture of ignorance and fear that Santorum had mastered. No longer is there a racist who believes only black people receive entitlement benefits. No longer is there a candidate who believes that parents who desire to send their children to college are “snobs”. No longer is there a person who throws-up when he reads president Kennedy’s speech about the separation of church and state. Finally, no longer is there a candidate who advocates that young Americans put a “Santorum” bumper sticker on their car to serve their country rather than putting-on a military uniform.

Political Humor/About.com has compiled a wonderful list of these and other moonbat-crazy Rick Santorum quotes as follows:

1. “In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.” —Rick Santorum , speaking to a reporter in 2003, who said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to talk about ‘man on dog’ with a United States senator, it’s sort of freaking me out.”

2. “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country…. Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” —Rick Santorum, interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com (October 2011)

3. “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” —Rick Santorum, campaigning for president in Iowa (January 2012)

4. “President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob … Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image.” –Rick Santorum, speaking to a Tea Party group in Michigan (February 2012)

5. “Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.” –Rick Santorum, on JFK’s 1960 speech about the importance of separation of church and state (October 2011)

6. “The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘We’re going to decide who are people and who are not people.'” —Rick Santorum, CNS News interview (January 2011)

7. “I think the Democrats are actually worried he (Obama) may go to Indonesia and bow to more Muslims.” –Rick Santorum, Fox News interview (May 2010)

8. “[Gay marriage] is an issue just like 9-11… We didn’t decide we wanted to fight the war on terrorism because we wanted to. It was brought to us. And if not now, when? When the supreme courts in all the other states have succumbed to the Massachusetts version of the law?” –Rick Santorum, interview with the Allentown Morning Call (February 2004)

9. “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?” –Rick Santorum, in a Philadelphia Inquirer column (May 2008)

10. “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American Left who hates Christendom. … What I’m talking about is onward American soldiers. What we’re talking about are core American values.” –Rick Santorum, campaigning for president in South Carolina (February 2011)

Bonus quote:
“We have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what’s at stake. They’re willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I’m asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country?” —Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), during his losing 2006 re-election bid, urging supporters to put a Rick Santorum bumper sticker on their cars.

Ahh Rick, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have much more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Another One Bites The Dust” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfEcvBfUY4


 (sung to the Queen song “Another One Bites The Dust”)

Rick walks warily down Wall Street
He now has nowhere to go
Santorum knows the taste of defeat
The lights went down on his show

Was he ready?
Was he ready for this?
To hide his face and flee in retreat?
Rick wasted every bargaining chip
Now he’s facing the heat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Same is true for Bachmann too
Another one bites the dust

Rick Perry was a clown who didn’t belong
Pawlenty’s been long gone
Herman Cain was just a philandering cad
Huntsman was just an unknown

Are they happy, are they satisfied?
They all looked bad in defeat
They all were given the ol’ pink slip
Now they’re out on the street

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, when will Gingrich be through?
Another one bites the dust

(misinformation break)

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

There are plenty of ways you can beat this clan
And bring them to the ground
You can beat ‘em
And defeat ‘em
It is really sad, they are all such wimpy clowns
They’re unsteady,  they’re completely unglued
A pile of homophobic meat
Mitt Romney’s known to flop and to flip
Paul is old and so obsolete

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, the G.O.P. is through
Another one bites the dust