Sarah Palin, “Start Your Engine !!!”

Sarah Palin will drive the "Arctic Cat" car in the Daytona 500

The announcement last week that Sarah Palin will appear in some unspecified capacity at the Daytona 500 in February should come as no surprise to those that follow the less than mediocre career of the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. After all, the NASCAR crowd dovetails quite nicely with the audiences she will entertain  at the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America’s Bowl Expo (i.e. the Bowlers’ Convention) and at the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America Convention (i.e. the Boozers’ Ball). In fact, inasmuch as all three of these events take place on different dates, it would not be surprising if the attendees of all three functions are exactly the same people. There is an undeniable symbiosis between drunks, bowlers and racing fans. Sarah Palin should mesh seamlessly.

In other news, CNN reports today that two key G.O.P. speakers have canceled their attendance and speeches at the Tea Party Convention on February 4-6, 2010 in Nashville, TN. Conservative congresswoman Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee and moon-bat crazy congresswoman Michele Bachmann of Minnesota have each backed out of the event at the last minute. Each of their offices has stated that the cancellations come as the result of the fact that the House Committee on Standards has advised them that the sponsor, Tea Party Nation’s for profit tax status could potentially place the elected officials in ethical jeopardy depending upon how the sponsor elects to spend the profits.

The most noteworthy aspect of the last minute cancellations however, is that the two Republicans upstaged keynote speaker Sarah Palin by stealing the thunder of quitting before she does. This puts Palin in a bind. She has attained the status of United States Quitter in Chief by means of her last minute backing out of numerous planned speaking engagements dating back to when she quit her job as Alaska’s governor last July. In order to retain that status, Palin might need to retroactively quit the Tea Party Convention to a date before yesterday. By quitting on the Tea Baggers however, she might irritate the exact same audience that she must appear before at the aforementioned Bowlers’ Convention, Boozer’s Ball and Daytona 500. Decisions. Decisions.

Factoid: The Tea Party Convention will be held at the seemingly inappropriately named Gaylord Opreyland Hotel.

In honor of Palin’s new-found road-racing affection please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s NASCAR inspired song parody.

Roadrunner cartoon theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fATQ06XniYA

ROAD RUNNER

(sung to the “Roadrunner” television cartoon theme)

If you’re on the highway and Ms. Palin goes “beep, beep”
Let her pass by cuz she once ran for VP
Ms. Palin, Ms. Palin runs from the truth all day
Even the fact checkers can’t make her change her ways

Ms. Palin, the media’s after you
Ms. Palin, even Glenn Beck says you’re through
Ms. Palin, we see every thing you do
Ms. Palin, no 2-0-1-2  for you

Sarah Palin is really a crazy clown
When will she learn she’ll always be voted down?
Poor Sarah Palin won’t say if she will run
Cuz starring on Fox News has turned out to be such fun

Ms. Palin, the media’s after you
Ms. Palin, even Glenn Beck says you’re through

Poor Sarah Palin seems to bother everyone
She’s runnin’ down the road like a nut with a loaded gun!!!