Breaking News: Republicans Hate Sarah Palin Also, Too !!!

OUCH !!! This is gong to leave a mark. The most recent poll regarding Sarah Palin’s chances for the presidency has been released and it ain’t pretty for Ms. Quittypants. Even her new-found Fox News audience, which Glenn Beck estimates to be in the Hundreds of Billions, does not appear to be enamored with Palin having a political future. CNN reports on the CBS News poll as follows:

Sarah Palin attracted huge crowds across the country last fall as she promoted her best-selling memoir, but a new survey suggests an overwhelming number of Americans don’t want the former Alaska governor to run for president.

According to a new CBS News poll out Tuesday, 71 percent are against the former Republican vice presidential candidate launching her own bid for the White House in two years while 21 percent are in favor of a potential run.

Broken down by party, 56 percent of Republicans are against a potential Palin presidential campaign while 30 percent are for it. Meanwhile, the vast majority of Democrats, 88 percent, are not in favor of a Palin presidential run.

The survey also finds significantly more people view Palin negatively than positively: 41 percent negative compared to 26 percent positive.

Both those numbers have increased since Palin’s high-profile book tour late last year and since becoming a Fox News contributor last week. In November, 38 percent held an unfavorable view of Palin while 23 percent held a positive view of her.

Among Republicans in the latest poll, 43 percent hold a positive view of Palin while 30 percent of independents do. Meanwhile, just under a half of conservatives view Palin favorably while only 16 percent of liberals do.

Meanwhile, a majority of conservatives, 58 percent say Palin should run for president in 2012.

If she hopes to stay employed by Fox News for any significant period of time, Sarah Palin better hope that her television audience has a longer span of attention than her political supporters did. This is good news for Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off however, because we get to republish two (yes, two for the price of one) of our favorite Sarah Palin poll result song parodies. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with each tune and to have more fun singing along to them.

Poll Slide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWa7cuM5CXA

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Poll Slider song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iffDvXTcm8&feature=related

POLL SLIDER

(sung to the War song “Low Rider”)

All my friends know the poll slider
The poll slider is a little liar

The poll slider slips a little lower
Poll slider couldn’t be much slower

Hey!

Poll Slider is facing defeat, yeah
Poll Slider is gonna be beat, yeah

Poll slider is outta gas now
The poll slider is on her ass

Better get a grip, better get a grip
She is not the one to be
Better get a grip, better get a grip
She’s shunned by the G.O.P.

Bristol Palin Hits The Tabloids (Again !!!)

FIRST OF ALL, WE IMPLORE ALL MASSACHUSETTS READERS TO GET OUT THERE AND VOTE FOR MARTHA COAKLEY TODAY!!!

On its website back in June, MSNBC posted an article which explores recent celebrities and whether they are actual “role models” to younger Americans.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30874508/ In other words, are young people savvy enough to distinguish between true role models and hypocrytes?

MSNBC utilized Bristol Palin as in example:

Recently, Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska governor and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, set out on a campaign to urge young people to practice abstinence. “If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex,” she told People Magazine. “Trust me. Nobody.” She became pregnant by former boyfriend Levi Johnston and gave birth to a son in late December.

Strangely however, the MSNBC article omitted any mention of the young Palin’s previous on-air declaration on the Fox network, to wit:

I think abstinence is … I don’t know how to put it … everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it’s not realistic at all. (emphasis added)

Bristol’s most recent foray into the world of tabloid magazines is this week’s issue of  In Touch. The cover story features both Bristol and her mother, Sarah Palin and is titled, “We’re Glad We Chose Life”. The most curious quote of Bristol’s is,

I’m not going to have sex until I’m married. I can guarantee it.

Jeesh, talk about closing the barn door after the horse has gone!

Inasmuch as Ms. Palin is now a spokesperson (along with Britney Spears the twice divorced unwed mother) for the Candies (shoe company) Foundation and its program to prevent teen pregnancy, we thought a song parody was in order…

I Want Candy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw

SHE WEARS CANDIES

(sung to the Bow Wow Wow song “I Want Candy”)

I know a girl who’ll take some heat
Candies pays this gal to speak
She’s got a mother that is a liar
Sarah sucks like a vampire

She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Bristol’s preachin’ all over town
She should shut-up and sit down
She don’t know squat about abstinence
She’s got a big case of arrogance

She wears Candies
She wears Candies
Yeah

(musical interlude)

Bristol is a gal that should know better
She should be sporting a scarlet letter
She left school cuz she was failin’
Just like almost every Palin

She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies
She wears Candies

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey