Palin Plummets While Bachmann Bounces

As we said way back in our January 26th post, it appears that Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are on a collision course. Unfortunately for Sarah Palin, it  now appears that while she is riding along on one of the First Dude’s snow-machines, Michele Bachmann is behind the wheel of a massive tea-powered 18 wheeler. Can you say “SQUISH”?

Sarah Palin has long been the darling of the Tea Baggers. That was natural in that she and they shared an affinity for misspelling and the misunderstanding of such things as Medicare, the United States Constitution and a proper dress code (Naughty Monkey cork-heeled shoes or tri-cornered hat with powdered wig?). Palin truly spoke the language of the educationally-challenged and the Tea Baggers understood it.

But something funny happened on the way to Tea Party stardom. Tea Partiers (and the American population as a whole) began to lose interest in the “Quitter on Twitter”. The first sign of this was when Palin’s “favorable” ratings began to drop in poll after poll. Additionally, her second ghost-written book did not sell nearly as well as her first and the corresponding cross-country book tour was not well attended by devotees. The final straw may have been her disastrous video response to the Tucson shootings. Even her co-workers at Fox News realized that her “The Real Victim Of The Tucson Shootings Was Me!” speech did not resonate well with anyone. Consequently, they invited her to an immediate soft-ball interview with Sean Hannity in an attempt to resurrect her credibility. Unfortunately (for her), that failed also, too. Shortly thereafter, Palin was crushed by Mitt(wit) Romney in a New Hampshire straw poll heavily attended by Tea Partiers. Since then, she has not finished atop a poll of likely GOP presidential contenders even once. In short, it appears that the Tea Party has “refudiated” Sarah Palin.

During the entire period that Sarah Palin was basking in the national limelight, Michele Bachmann was busy building a Tea Bagging base of her own. She shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. She did not post a Facebook comment or Twitter tweet in response to any word uttered by President Obama or the “lamestream” media. She did not appear in her own un-reality television series. And, she did not get into a war of words with every comedian that dared mention her name (i.e. David Letterman, Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher).

Bachmann’s plan to capture the Tea Party crown was more conventional than Palin’s. She was already a Washington insider inasmuch as she is a three term Representative from Minnesota. She capitalized on her elected office by forming the Congressional “Tea Party Caucus”. She is also fruitcake-nutty enough to appeal to radical Tea Baggers. You might recall that she advocated for a McCarthyesque investigation of members of Congress to determine if they are anti-American. She heartily agreed with Sarah Palin regarding her “death panel” lie. She fell hook, line and sinker for an internet rumor that President Obama’s 2010 trip to Asia cost $200 miilion per day and that he would be accompanied by 34 warships. She said that teenagers should pay their employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving the minimum wage and she said that being gay is “part of Satan”. She also displayed a complete lack of knowledge of American history just last month when she proclaimed that the famous “Shot Heard Round the World” was fired in New Hampshire. (BTW, for you Teapublicans and Boston Herald readers, the shot was fired at the Battle of Lexington and Concord in Massachusetts).  Like Palin’s sniper-sight symbolism, Bachmann also utilizes violent rhetoric such as when she said she wanted Minnesotans “armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.” All of that is highly digestible stuff for the Tea Party.

As Palin’s star is fading however, Bachmann’s is rising. Like Palin, she has not denied that she is considering a run for the presidency in 2012. Indeed, she is behaving like most serious candidates in that she has been visiting early primary states.. While Palin appears to have fallen into a state of hibernation following her Tucson misadventure, Bachmann has been pasting her visage on the television air-waves (or cables) on a near daily basis. Most telling of all however, is that it was Michele Bachmann (not Palin) that gave the Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address. Mind you, she looked foolish and did a terrible job, but she was the face of the Tea Party at that important moment and it appears she will continue to be for the foreseeable future.

Last week Bachmann visited her birth-state of Iowa and it appears that Iowans favor her over Palin when it comes to supporting radically-crazy conservatives for the presidency. The New York Times reports the following quotes from prominent Republican Iowans:

Governor Terry E. Branstad:

“If Congresswoman Bachmann gets in, she has the potential to appeal to a lot of people who might have gone for Governor Palin.”

Former State Rep. and leading conservative activist Danny Carroll:

“If Sarah doesn’t do something, she may find that the field has been pre-empted,”

State Senator Kent Sorensen:

“I don’t want to bash Sarah Palin, but she lacks substance. I believe Michele Bachmann has more substance. I think she’d mop the floor with her, if you want me to be frank.”

Even Michele Bachmann seemed to downplay the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska when all she had to say was, “I personally like Sarah Palin; she’s a lovely person. I’ve had the privilege of meeting her and being with her on three different occasions.” Not exactly a strong vote of confidence.

Yes, it appears that the Tea Party torch has been passed. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time